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Joy Lab | navigate stress, anxiety, & depression with the science of joy: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Henry Emmons, MD and Aimee Prasek, PhD
Welcome to the Joy Lab Podcast! We're your hosts, Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek, and we blend soulful insights with practical strategies to help you navigate mental health challenges like chronic stress, anxiety, and depression. In each episode, we dive deep into the art and science of joy, exploring how to build resilience and flourish, even in the face of life's overwhelming moments. You'll probably resonate and benefit most from joining us if any of the below resonate: You feel caught in cycles of worry or anxiety. You feel STRESSED and sick of the symptoms that go along with it (feeling tired, achy/tight in your body, tension headaches, and lots of irritation or nervousness). You feel overwhelmed by the news of the world around you and it's impacting your mood and focus. The grind of day-to-day life doesn't feel meaningful to you and you want something more. Your mind feels ridiculously busy, full, and foggy. You may even be waking up in the middle of the night (3
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- Today21 min
Self-Focused vs. Task-Focused Attention & How Great Things Are Done by a Series of Small Things [277]
This final episode of our Confidence series ties everything together: the inner work of accepting discomfort and self-doubt, defusing from self-critical thoughts, and clarifying values now becomes the foundation for outer action. You can build confidence through the daily practice of taking small committed actions, again and again, in alignment with your values, even when you don't feel ready. We'll dig into strategies like psychological flexibility: the ability to be present with thoughts, feelings, and sensations without letting them stop you from doing what matters. With that flexibility, we can shift from self-focused attention (consumed by what others are thinking, picking apart your own performance in real time) to task-focused attention. Self-focused attention takes the prefrontal cortex partially offline and redirects computing power to threat-detection and self-monitoring. Shifting attention to the task brings it back online. You think more clearly. You respond more flexibly. You perform closer to the level you're actually capable of. The practice is simple to describe and genuinely hard to do: when you notice self-focused attention taking over, pause, ask "What does this moment call for?" and do the next best thing, imperfectly. You'll get pulled back into self-monitoring. That's okay. That's actually the practice. That's where the real strength is built. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible). Listen & follow the Joy Lab Podcast on your favorite listening app: Spotify | Apple | YouTube Sources and Notes for our Element of Confidence: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Start your 7-day free trial now. Episodes in this series: Not Feeling Confident & Want to Know How to Increase Confidence In Yourself? Start By Seeing Confidence as Trust, Not a Feeling [ep. 273] Building Confidence with Mindful Acceptance (even when anxiety, self-doubt, & the harsh inner-critic show up) [ep. 274] You Are Not Your Thoughts: Cognitive Defusion for Confidence & to Change Your Relationship With Self-Critical Thoughts [ep. 275] Confidence, Motivation, & Values: Focusing on Direction, Not Perfection [ep.276] Self-Focused vs. Task-Focused Attention & How Great Things Are Done by a Series of Small Things[ep. 277] Book: The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris, PhD Book: Confidence Culture by Shani Orgad, PhD & Rosalind
- 1 weeks ago24 min
Confidence, Motivation, & Values: Focusing on Direction, Not Perfection [276]
When confidence is built on external approval, performance, and outcomes, it's fragile. It's also a fragile support for motivation that depends on getting the win, which then boosts your confidence and motivation temporarily, priming you to start the search for your next win to fuel your sense of confidence and refill your motivation tank. The problem comes when the wins sit far apart and your , confidence and motivation start to run on fumes. Or, if you try and fail, then your confidence and motivation can collapse. This episode offers a more durable foundation for your confidence and motivation to be built on: your values. When you ground your confidence in your values rather than your performance, the question shifts from "Did I nail it?" to "Did I show up in alignment with what matters to me?" We'll dig into some practical values-clarification exercises to help you identify your values and follow-up next episode with how to take action. Here's the list of values from Dr. Brene Brown that we referenced: https://brenebrown.com/resources/dare-to-lead-list-of-values/ Note: This episode includes a brief reference to gun violence at 3:30. You can skip to 4:50 or 6:00 to avoid that section. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible). Common Questions & Mental Health Tips from this Episode: Q: What do my values have to do with building confidence? A: When confidence is anchored in values rather than performance and external approval, it becomes something you practice daily rather than something you achieve once and lose the next time you fail; this episode explains the shift and offers a twist on Viktor Frankl's three-category framework for identifying your own values. Q: How do I figure out what my values actually are and not what I think they should be? A: This episode offers a practical exercise using a twist on Viktor Frankl's categories (what you love to give, what you love to receive, what you stand up for). Henry also gives specific guidance on noticing when you're answering authentically vs. answering how you think you should. Key moments: [00:00] Content note: brief reference to gun violence at 3:30 — skip to 4:50 or 6:00 to avoid [00:30] Welcome back to the Element of Confidence — introducing values clarification as the next step [01:00] How confidence gets built on external factors: performance, "shoulds," what others think of us. This creates fragile confidence that's dependent on outcomes, approval, hitting specific standards [02:00] The shift: grounding confidence in values rather than performance [03:00] Values are not something you achieve — they're something you live from, an ongoing practice [03:30] Henry's story: asked to speak to a community deeply shaken by a school shooting [note: gun violence reference here — skip to 4:50 to avoid] [04:50] Henry's internal shift: moving from "do I have the expertise?" to "how can I show up with compassion?" [05:30] The result: compassion-based confidence doesn't require perfection, it requires alignment [06:00] When you're grounded in values, the question isn't "did I nail it?" — it's "did I show up with care?" [07:00] Defining values: the compass, not the destination — many of Joy Lab's Elements of Joy are values [07:30] Aimee shares the ACT (Acceptance and Commitment
- 2 weeks ago25 min
You Are Not Your Thoughts: Cognitive Defusion for Confidence & to Change Your Relationship With Self-Critical Thoughts [275]
You've likely had a situation where you wish you had confidence, but instead felt full of self-criticism, self-judgement, imposter feelings, and anxiety. The good news is that skills like cognitive defusion (the practice of loosening the grip that self-critical thoughts have on you) can help tremendously to help you get some space from those overwhelming thoughts. We'll dig into these thoughts in this episode, explore why they rise up, and introduce some practical tips and strategies to help you work with them. These powerful mental health tips will help create some space between you and your thoughts, helping you to take actions that build your confidence. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible). Sources and Notes for our Element of Confidence: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Start your 7-day free trial now. Episodes in this series: Not Feeling Confident & Want to Know How to Increase Confidence In Yourself? Start By Seeing Confidence as Trust, Not a Feeling [ep. 273] Building Confidence with Mindful Acceptance (even when anxiety, self-doubt, & the harsh inner-critic show up) [ep. 274] You Are Not Your Thoughts: Cognitive Defusion for Confidence & to Change Your Relationship With Self-Critical Thoughts [ep. 275] Related episodes: How to Calm the Mind & Not Feed the ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) [ep. 264] Rumination: What It Is and How to Break Free From It [ep. 205] Imposter Syndrome is a Myth [ep. 175] What Imposter Syndrome Really Is [ep. 276] Book: The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris, PhD Book: Confidence Culture by Shani Orgad, PhD & Rosalind Gill, PhD Bandura. Self-efficacy: Toward a Unifying Theory of Behavioral Change. Access here. Baumeister et al. Does High Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles? <sp
- 3 weeks ago28 min
Building Confidence with Mindful Acceptance (even when anxiety, self-doubt, & the harsh inner-critic show up) [274]
One of the most essential coping skills for building real confidence is mindful acceptance. This is the practice of noticing that fear, self-doubt, and self-consciousness are present and... that's ok. Henry puts it simply: you're acknowledging there's a passenger on the bus. You're just not letting that passenger drive. We'll also take some time to name and untangle the harsh inner critic. That's the voice that pretends to be accurate self-assessment but is usually something absorbed from a critical adult long ago and we've just pressed play on ever since. The three key questions Henry raised for distinguishing the harsh inner-critic from your true voice are: Does it attack? Does it use fear and shame? Is it absolute or extreme? If the answers is "Yes" to any of the above, then that's your inner-critic. Your authentic voice is gentler, clearer, and never tries to motivate through fear or shame. Simply acknowledging the difference can take the power away from the inner-critic. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible). Listen & follow the Joy Lab Podcast on your favorite listening app: Spotify | Apple | YouTube Full transcript available here. Sources and Notes for our Element of Confidence: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Start your 7-day free trial now. Related episodes about imposter phenomenon: Imposter Syndrome is a Myth [ep. 175] What Imposter Syndrome Really Is [ep. 276] Book: The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris, PhD Book: Confidence Culture by Shani Orgad, PhD & Rosalind Gill, PhD Bandura. Self-efficacy: Toward a Unifying Theory of Behavioral Change. Access here. Baumeister et al. Does High Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles? <a href= "https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1111/1529-1006.01431?__cf_chl_f_tk=LImMSErM1ZLyeinkweacC7AFD4MjjRPTMetSkTV
- 4 weeks ago26 min
How to Build Confidence (When You Don't Feel Confident Yet) [273]
Are you not feeling confident and curious how to increase confidence in yourself? If so, know that you are not alone, you are not suffering from imposter syndrome, and you are not in need of fixing. As we start our series on Confidence, we'll work to dismantle the most common — and most damaging — myth about confidence: that confidence is just a feeling and that you need to be confident before you act. We'll focus on a confidence reframe: Confidence is a willingness to act and a trust in your own effort, not a feeling of certainty or how others perceive you. We'll lean on Dr. Russ Harris's foundational insight throughout our work: the actions of confidence come first; the feelings of confidence come later. The episode also does important myth-busting work around self-worth, self-esteem, and self-efficacy — three concepts we tend to mash together with confidence, often to our detriment. We'll make the case for unconditional self-acceptance over the self-esteem-building culture many of us grew up in, and approach confidence with a fresh and more empowering lens. This episode will set us up for some confidence-building work that is far more nourishing than the usual methods we've been taught. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible). Sources and Notes for our Element of Confidence: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Start your 7-day free trial now. Episodes about imposter phenomenon: Imposter Syndrome is a Myth [ep. 175] What Imposter Syndrome Really Is [ep. 276] Book: The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris, PhD Book: Confidence Culture by Shani Orgad, PhD & Rosalind Gill, PhD Bandura. Self-efficacy: Toward a Unifying Theory of Behavioral Change. Access here. Baumeister et al. Does High Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles? Access here. Donnelly et al. Do people know how others view them? Two approaches for identifying the accuracy of metaperceptions. Access here. Hayes et al. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy as a Unified Model of Behavior Change. Access here. More about Victor Frankl's work from VFIA. Full transcipt here Common Questions: Q: Why don't I feel confident even when I know I'm capable of something?
- Jun 24, 20269 min
From Rumination and Defending to Right-Sizing: Recapping the Science & Tips to Build Humility for Mental Health & Wellbeing [272]
Humility is one of the most quietly powerful practices for positive psychology and mental health. It's also one of the most misunderstood. Here's the heart of it: humility is not a weakness. It's not about making yourself small or performing modesty for social approval. It's an accurate, grounded sense of self, what Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren calls "right-sizing." You own your strengths and weaknesses. And you hold your worth steady through all of it. We explored four types of humility this month: relational, intellectual, cultural, and existential. And we worked through three core ingredients to build humility up: Know Yourself. This is where self-compassion becomes essential. Self-knowledge without self-compassion tends to slide into rumination — that harsh, looping self-focus that keeps us stuck. Dr. Kristin Neff's research reminds us that genuine self-reflection requires feeling safe enough to look clearly, without bracing for an attack. When self-compassion is in place, honest self-awareness becomes possible. So does recognizing things like the better-than-average effect, which is our tendency to unconsciously and inaccurately position ourselves as a little more right, and others a little more wrong. Humility gently corrects that drift. Check Yourself. This is ego territory. When we feel threatened, the ego rises up. We deflect, deny, shut down, intellectualize. It's a very human, very normal response. But it doesn't have to run the show. One of the most practical tools from this series: when you feel defensive, pause. Breathe. Then ask yourself, "What would I think if I weren't feeling defensive?" That question can create some space for the ego to stand down and lets emotional regulation take over instead of reactivity. Go Beyond Yourself. This is where the magic of humility really shows itself as we build a genuine curiosity about other people and life's bigger questions. The self-forgetfulness that C.S. Lewis describes as essential to humility puts it all into action. When we're not so consumed by ourselves, the world opens up. And that's where connection, meaning, and joy actually show up in more noticeable, lasting ways. If you've worked through this series and feel less certain than when you started, that's not a problem. That's the practice of humility in action. Sitting with uncertainty, tolerating what's unresolved, resisting the cultural pressure toward easy answers and performed confidence is peak courage. It's often uncomfortable and it's always worth it. If this work has stirred something that feels bigger than you want to carry alone, please reach out to a therapist, a trusted friend, or a support community. Seeking support isn't weakness. It's an act of humility and one of the most courageous things you can do. And for Joy Lab Program members: your Episode Experiment includes a guided meditation and journal prompts to help you harvest and integrate the work you've done this month. We close with Rilke (we know, we close with Rilke a lot!): "Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves." Keep tending to your humility. It grows good things. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible). Sources and Notes for our Element of Humility: <span style="text-decoration: und
- Jun 17, 202617 min
Going Beyond Yourself: How Humility Fights Loneliness, Builds Connection, & Protects Mental Health [271]
Humility is a powerful mental health tool we have. The science of happiness is clear: genuine connection and belonging are among the strongest predictors of emotional resilience and wellbeing. In this episode of Joy Lab we'll explore the final dimension of humility: going beyond yourself. Building on Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's framework from Humble, we'll explore how knowing yourself and checking your ego aren't the finish line. That's prep work so you can show up for others with open eyes and an open heart. Whether you've been lonely, stuck in defensive loops, or just tired of running into yourself everywhere you turn, this episode offers a warm, science-grounded roadmap toward deeper connection. This is Episode 4 of Joy Lab's Element of Humility series, following Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's framework: know yourself, check yourself, and go beyond yourself. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible). Full transcript Sources and Notes for our Element of Humility: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Start your 7-day free trial now. Episodes in this Humility series: Humility Can Be Stressful... But Worth it for Mental Health [ep. 268] Know Yourself: The Humility Practice That Quiets Rumination and Builds Emotional Resilience [ep. 269] Check Yourself: Ego Threat, Stress Relief, & Needing to Prove Yourself [270] Book: Humble by Daryl Van Tongeren, PhD Tara Brach's website Find more about Neff's work on Self-compassion at Self-Compassion.org More on C.S. Lewis from the C.S. Lewis Foundation. Hagá & Olson. 'If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect': Children's and adults' perceptions of intellectually arrogant, humble, and diffident people. Access here. Nielsen & Marrone. Humility: Our current understanding of the construct and its role in organizations. Access here. Porter et al. Predictors and consequences of intellectual humility. Access here. Van Tongeren et al. Humility. <a href= "https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5e2b0237a2dc434ac478d58a/t/605b97b26bd54015babd395f/1616615346329/Van+Tongeren+et+al.+%282019%29+-+CD
- Jun 10, 202621 min
Check Yourself: Ego Threat, Stress Relief, & Needing to Prove Yourself [270]
Humility and mental health are more connected than you might think. And if you add self-compassion to the humility-ego mix, then you have a recipe that can support mood, offer stress relief, and give your mind and body a break from constantly trying to defend yourself. We'll dig into all this with the "Check Yourself" step of the humility framework, unpacking ego threat, defensive thinking patterns, and the very human stress response that kicks in when we feel criticized, wrong, or uncertain. Spoiler: the ego is not the villain here. It's more like an overzealous bodyguard, and humility is how you can teach it to stand down. This is Episode 3 of Joy Lab's Element of Humility series, following Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's framework: know yourself, check yourself, and go beyond yourself. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program. Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible). Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials: Instagram Linkedin Watch this episode on YouTube Sources and Notes for our Element of Humility: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Episodes in this Humility series: Humility Can Be Stressful... But Worth it for Mental Health [ep. 268] Know Yourself: The Humility Practice That Quiets Rumination and Builds Emotional Resilience [ep. 269] Book: Humble by Daryl Van Tongeren, PhD Tara Brach's website Find more about Neff's work on Self-compassion at Self-Compassion.org More on C.S. Lewis from the C.S. Lewis Foundation. Hagá & Olson. 'If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect': Children's and adults' perceptions of intellectually arrogant, humble, and diffident people. Access here. Nielsen & Marrone. Humility: Our current understanding of the construct and its role in organizations. Access here. Porter et al. Predictors and consequences of intellectual humility. Access here. Van Tongeren et al. Humility. Access here. Weidman et al. The psychological structure of humility. <a href= "https://psycnet.apa.org/record
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About Joy Lab | navigate stress, anxiety, & depression with the science of joy
Welcome to the Joy Lab Podcast! We're your hosts, Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek, and we blend soulful insights with practical strategies to help you navigate mental health challenges like chronic stress, anxiety, and depression. In each episode, we dive deep into the art and science of joy, exploring how to build resilience and flourish, even in the face of life's overwhelming moments. You'll probably resonate and benefit most from joining us if any of the below resonate: You feel caught in cycles of worry or anxiety. You feel STRESSED and sick of the symptoms that go along with it (feeling tired, achy/tight in your body, tension headaches, and lots of irritation or nervousness). You feel overwhelmed by the news of the world around you and it's impacting your mood and focus. The grind of day-to-day life doesn't feel meaningful to you and you want something more. Your mind feels ridiculously busy, full, and foggy. You may even be waking up in the middle of the night (3
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