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The Messy Middle Podcast: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Erika Leon
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- 4 days ago15 min
23 | Dating After Abuse: Slower, Safer Sparks
If the idea of dating again still makes you feel physically ill, this episode is not for you yet, and that is completely okay. But if you have got to the point where you are dipping a toe back in, or even just thinking about it, this one is for you. Because something strange happens when you start dating after narcissistic abuse or a high control relationship. You expect to be better at spotting the warning signs. And in some ways, you are. But there is another layer that nobody really prepar...
- 1 weeks ago17 min
22 | Financial Fear After Narcissistic Abuse: What Nobody Talks About
Financial Fear After Narcissistic Abuse: What Nobody Talks About There is a moment that hits almost every woman after she leaves. Sometimes it is not right away. Sometimes it is weeks later, late at night, looking at her phone or her bank account, and it lands like a quiet, heavy dread. I am on my own. And I am going to have to fight for everything. This week I am talking about financial fear after narcissistic abuse, and I want to be honest about how much bigger this is than most people give...
- 3 weeks ago20 min
21 | The Quiet Grief of "Wasted Years"
In this episode, I’m talking about something that almost every woman I’ve ever worked with eventually hits: the quiet grief of “wasted years.” It’s that heavy moment of looking back at a relationship and thinking, I lost myself in that. Sometimes it’s years, sometimes decades. And it often comes with shame, confusion, and a harsh inner narrative that says you should have known better. But what if that whole story is built on hindsight that your past self simply didn’t have access to yet? Let’...
- Mar 26, 202618 min
20 | Rebuilding Self-Trust After Manipulation & Abuse
If you've ever walked away from a controlling or abusive relationship and found yourself completely frozen over the smallest decisions — what to wear, whether to text someone back, what to order for lunch — this episode is for you. It's not just that you stop trusting them after manipulation, control, or abuse. You stop trusting yourself. And that's the part nobody really talks about. Your internal compass gets scrambled. Not because you're broken, but because you were trained to override it....
- Mar 19, 202622 min
19 | Why You´ll Lose Your Friends After Leaving High-Control Relationship
No one prepares you for this part. You think leaving the relationship will be the hardest thing… until your world starts getting smaller in ways you didn’t expect. In this raw and honest episode, I dive into the social fallout that often follows leaving a narcissistic or high-control relationship. The friendships that fade. The family members who stay neutral. The quiet distance. The subtle disbelief. The gut-punch comments like “it takes two.” And the part that hurts the most? Wonderin...
- Mar 12, 202624 min
18 | "I'll Never Need Anyone Again" Hyper Independence Phase
“I’ll never need anyone again.” If you’ve said this (out loud or quietly to yourself) after coercive control, betrayal, divorce, or going no contact… this episode is for you. In this conversation, I’m unpacking the very real phase so many women enter after high-control or narcissistic relationships: the swing from “I can’t survive without them” to “I will never depend on anyone ever again.” And I want to normalize this immediately: That response makes sense. If trusting someone meant humiliat...
- Mar 5, 202617 min
17 | Why Peace Feels Boring After Narcissistic Abuse
You finally got out. The chaos has stopped. So why does peace feel flat? Restless? Almost… boring? In this episode of The Messy Middle, I’m talking about something that so many women experience after leaving a narcissistic or high-control relationship but rarely admit out loud: Calm can feel uncomfortable. Instead of relief, you might feel numb. Irritated. Agitated. Like something is missing. You might even catch yourself missing parts of the relationship and immediately spiral into, “What is...
- Feb 26, 202623 min
16 | Who Am I Without Him? Journey Back to Yourself
Who am I when I’m not managing someone else’s moods? Who am I when I’m not bracing for the explosion, calculating the cost of my resistance, or shrinking myself to keep the peace? In this raw and deeply honest episode of The Messy Middle, I’m diving into one of the most disorienting questions we face after narcissistic abuse and coercive control: Who am I without him? This isn’t just about being single. It’s about identity loss after emotional abuse. It’s about what happens to your nervous sy...
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About The Messy Middle Podcast
The podcast for women navigating the raw, confusing, lonely aftermath of narcissistic abuse and emotional control.I'm Erika Leon, trauma-informed Abuse Recovery coach, mom of five, and creator of the Six Keys to Unfu*kwithable.I have walked thousands of women through the part after the leaving where the adrenaline fades, the grief hits, and the world really wants you to just move on.If you are picking up the pieces, questioning everything, and trying to remember who the fuck you were before you were so carefully erased, you are in the right place.
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