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You're Not Too Much: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Lauren "L2" Howard
Welcome to You're Not Too Much, a podcast about how you're not too much, space expands, so let's fill it. You’ve spent your whole life feeling like something’s wrong with you. Here’s a radical thought: what if you’re not too much? This is your no-filter, emotionally intelligent, occasionally sweary podcast that challenges the idea that we all have to fit inside neat little boxes to be acceptable. Hosted by L2 (aka Lauren Howard), this show dives into the real, raw and ridiculous sides of being neurodivergent, introverted, chronically underestimated - and still completely worthy. Expect deeply honest conversations about identity, neurodivergence, gender, work, grief, anxiety and everything in between. There’ll be tears, dead dad jokes, side quests, and a whole lot of swearing. If you are tired of pretending to be someone you’re not, this space is for you. Come for the chaos. Stay for the catharsis. Linger for the dead Dad jokes.
Latest Episodes
The most recent episodes — sign up to get AI-powered summaries of each one.
- 4 days ago25 min
How to Survive a Toxic Job When You Can't Afford to Quit
It was like a switch flipped.I had a job. Jobs are good. We like jobs. It paid my bills, it sucked, it was awful, and it was crushing my soul — and I had decided that's just what being an adult is. My whole life was operating in shades of gray. Not the interesting kind. Nothing was exciting, and it didn't even occur to me that things were supposed to be.Then one insidious thought got into my brain: if the alternative to this sucks and this already sucks, why not try the new suck?Thirty seconds later I was done. My CEO sent me a Slack at 8:30 one morning — not the worst thing he'd ever said, honestly pretty benign — but the glass was already broken, and you can't put glass back together. Resignation letter, thirty minutes later. Zero plan. Zero idea what was next.I don't regret it. The whole life I have now came out of that one decision.But I wish I'd done it differently, and that's the actual episode.Then an Ask L2 from Tanya: do you tell a new client you're neurodivergent before you start, or are you just handing them a reason to be weird about you for six months?And if you want the version of this with actual people in the room, we've just launched Leave Your Sh*tty Job over at What The Fractional. It's pay what you can, the minimum is a dollar, and the point of it is that you end up leaving or staying because it's the choice you made, not the one you got forced into: https://whatthefractional.com🎧Every episode: https://yourenottoomuchpodcast.com📞Leave me a voicemail: https://yourenottoomuchpodcast.com/voicemail💬 Come find the rest of us: https://alwaysquirky.com
- 1 weeks ago17 min
Lindsay Clancy, Postpartum Illness and Why We're Missing the Point
I miss my dad. You know that.What you might not know is that he was a forensic psychiatrist for 55 years, I ran his practice for 10 of them, and on a case like Lindsay Clancy's, he's exactly who would've been called to testify. So for the last couple of weeks I've had his voice in my ear. Screaming.Not about postpartum illness. That conversation is correct — women get sick after babies, they're scared to say so, they deserve better help. All of it, yes.He'd be screaming because that's not what happened here.Lindsay Clancy was diagnosed bipolar. That came out at trial. She was complaining of racing thoughts, worsening intrusive thoughts and no sleep, and somebody's answer was to increase her antidepressant — a thing that is documented to make bipolar patients worse. Her illness didn't make her psychotic. Her medication did. And if we don't separate "postpartum illness" from "shit-ass medical care," every woman who's already scared to disclose gets more scared.I'm not a clinician. I say that about six times in this episode. This is his rant, from beyond the grave, delivered by the person who sat in the depositions.Heads up: this one talks about postpartum mental illness, bipolar disorder, the Lindsay Clancy case (including the deaths of her children) and, briefly, suicide. Look after yourself.If you're postpartum and struggling: Postpartum Support International, 1-800-944-4773.If you're in crisis: call or text 988.
- 2 weeks ago3 min
Idris Elba Lost His Piece In My Bedroom Once - A Saturday Sidequest
Idris Elba jumped off my nightstand at three o'clock in the morning.Ten minutes before my alarm. Which was also set for three o'clock in the morning, because I had that much work to get to. There is nothing in that room that can fall, and I lay there in the dark going "what?"So Kyle and I went looking for the piece, under nightstands that have about an eight-inch gap at the bottom.⏱️ Chapters00:00:00 I named my CPAP Idris Elba00:00:11 3am: the thunk00:00:45 The clip is broken00:01:28 One plastic clip is my entire edge00:01:58 Under the nightstand00:02:27 I am leaving the dust bunnies00:02:46 Kyle was not leaving the dust bunnies00:03:15 Vacuuming at 11pm
- 2 weeks ago19 min
Women at Work: You’re Not Too Much, They’re Not Enough
Every time I talk publicly about being a woman at work, the first response is the same. It’s never "that sounds hard." It’s "well, I had a terrible boss once, and she was a woman."Yeah. Okay. Women are allowed to suck, too. Plenty of men suck and we just accept that as fine.So this episode is about the two women you’re allowed to be in a workplace that was not built for you. The one who shrinks to fit — who gets told she’s too big, too loud, too many ideas, and folds all of it up inside herself, hands her ideas to somebody else so they’ll get heard, stops saying the thing she knows is going to go wrong. And the one who strikes to kill — who was taught there’s only ever room for one of her, so she leaves no space for the next one coming up behind.They’re the same woman. Same message, two ways out. You are not allowed here, you should feel lucky we let you in, and if you’re uncomfortable with how we do things then you should shut up or leave.I’ve talked to thousands of women over the last five years who live inside that, and I lived inside it myself. I’m the person who had to hand her idea to the nearest male coworker because it would be taken seriously from him and ignored from me.All of that is evidence of a problem with the workplace. It is not evidence of a problem with you.You are not intimidating. They’re intimidated. Nobody is going to make them do the work to find out why you’re such a threat, so you’re going to stay a threat — but you do not have to make yourself smaller to fix something you didn’t break. You’ve been the same person the whole time.You are not too much. They are not enough.Plus: breaking news on the semicolon rant, in which four actual English professors turn up to tell me I was right. And an Ask L2 from Kieran, who wants an exemption from the don’t-fight-with-pigs rule for a pig who owes him $4,000.CHAPTERS00:00:00 "You are not allowed here"00:00:23 Welcome to You’re Not Too Much00:00:37 What always happens when I talk about women at work00:01:08 Women are allowed to suck, too00:01:46 I wish you the success of the mediocre white male00:02:25 Persona one: the woman who shrinks to fit00:04:13 Persona two: the woman who strikes to kill00:05:09 Both of those are the same thing00:06:37 Thousands of women, same paradigm00:07:57 Give it to your nearest male coworker00:08:19 A problem with the workplace, not a problem with you00:08:28 You are not intimidating. They’re intimidated.00:09:03 What you actually owe a job you need00:09:44 You are not too much00:10:04 They are not enough00:10:57 Do enough to survive, then find a place that doesn’t suck00:11:05 Ten thousand levers you don’t need to pull00:11:20 You’ve been the same person the whole time00:11:55 Your five to nine is better than your nine to five00:12:03 A toxic waste dump and no hazmat suit00:12:31 What professionalism actually means00:12:57 Why the show is now called You’re Not Too Much00:13:25 Breaking news: the semicolon rant, vindicated00:15:26 Ask L2 — "This pig owes me $4,000"00:16:37 You can have whatever tone you want00:17:15 The strongly worded emailEvery episode: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.comLeave me a voicemail: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemailCome find the rest of us: https://alwaysquirky.com
- 3 weeks ago3 min
Husband's New Toy - A Saturday SideQuest
I heard the Fed Ex van. Which means my husband bought something else stupid.P.S. If you are the household's designated Reasonable Adult — the one doing the mental maths on everybody else's impulse purchases — this is a very short episode to let you know you are very seen.
- 3 weeks ago30 min
He Smashed Into It — Then Waited 9 Hours To Tell Me To My Face
Right. Semicolons.There is one rule of semicolons. I wonder if you can guess what that is. I was a journalism major and the first time my professor taught us the situations where a semicolon is appropriate, I put my hand up and told him the only rule is don't. If you disagree you may want to skip this episode. But not before you bite me.But that's just one of the things we have for this week, friends.We walked out of the house to go and get french fries and there was a car two houses down that didn't look right. When we tracked the skid marks back to their origin, we quickly found out why. I'll tell you all about Carlos. Spoiler alert, this story is not going where you think it is.Then Ask L2, from Ray: everyone tells him the money's in the room, but the room is two hundred people, a buffet and compulsory eye contact. Is there a version of networking that doesn't involve the room? Grab a pen. I have the lesson plan for you.🎧 Apple Podcasts | SpotifyMembership community for awesome people who know they're worth more than the standard average mediocre white men: http://whatthefractional.com/📞 Voicemail line, for Ask L2 questions, small talk, brags and fights: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail💬 Come and argue with us in the Quirky community, it's free: https://alwaysquirky.com
- Aug 21, 202612 min
Grief Doesn't Get Smaller. You Grow Around It.
Same show, same me, new name on the door. If your app says You're Not Too Much and you were looking for Different, Not Broken — you're in the right place, nothing has changed except the sign.There's that saying that all roads lead to Rome. In my life, all roads lead back to my dad.If there's something annoying I do, it came from him. If there's something good I do, it came from him too. I'm good at business because he was abhorrent at it — I took over his practice at 21 because it was a mess and that is not how you're supposed to do anything. He was also the best doctor I have ever met, and I don't say that because he was my dad. Sometimes those two things don't go together.August 21st, he will have been gone for ten years. We recorded this two days out.Here's the thing about ten years. In the first week I remember thinking there was no way we would ever get here — that I could not be a person for a decade without him, that it was structurally impossible. Except I'm here. And I have a ten-year-old who got six weeks with him, and who was six weeks early, which is a level of detail the universe did not have to include and included anyway.There's an idea that you survive grief. That you get to the other side of it.There is no other side of grief. It doesn't end. It doesn't stop. Some days it might as well be the day it happened, and some days are worse.My grief is not smaller. I've just grown around it. The life around him got so much bigger that it takes up less of my brain — but he's still at the middle of it, I still talk about him like he's here, he's still in every decision I make, and he still drives me fricking crazy, which I assume is the job.I tell you about the drive to get everybody dinner, the first time I'd properly been alone since he died, and asking out loud into an empty car for anything at all. And what was in the text box on my phone when I picked it up again. I didn't type it. I'm not a woo-woo afterlife person. I'm just telling you what was there.And I leave you with my youngest, who asked what Pop Pop's real name was, found out how Jewish naming works, and reached a conclusion I could not argue with.Ten years. He hasn't left. Here's to a long time more of missing him.This one is about my dad, and about grief. If today isn't the day for that, it'll still be here when it is.🎧 You're Not Too Much — honest, funny conversations about neurodivergence, mental health, burnout and being human.📞 Leave me a voicemail: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail💬 Come hang out with the rest of us in the Quirky community (it's free): https://alwaysquirky.com🌐 Everything else: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com
- Aug 19, 202615 min
You're Not Too Much: Betting on Yourself When You're Scared
Same feed. Same me. New name.If you subscribed to Different, Not Broken, you're in the right place and there is nothing for you to do — this show is now called You're Not Too Much, and it lives on the Different, Not Broken Network alongside everything else we're building. Same host, same voicemail line, same everything. Just a name that finally says what the show has always been about.Now. On to it.There are extremely good reasons not to start a business. You have a job. You don't want the stress, the minutia, the responsibility. You have a non-compete. You have bills, and in the US you have health insurance to think about. All of that is valid and I am not one of those people who acts like having a job is embarrassing. If you're paying your bills and taking care of your people, you're doing the right thing.But if the reason you're not betting on yourself is what somebody else might think — that's not a reason.What other people think about you is not your business. What they say when you're not in the room has nothing to do with you. And in my experience the people who actually matter don't have the time or the calories to hold an opinion about what you're doing that isn't a positive one. If a negative one does turn up, it's a two-second blip and then they've forgotten and gone back to their day.So the critic you're performing for is imaginary. You built him. Tell him to get bent and get to work.In this one: why "I don't have the connections" is the easiest problem on the list, why the referrals that actually land come from people nowhere near your industry, the fact that someone less qualified than you is already getting paid to teach the thing you know better, what networking is and very much is not, and my new career in bowling alley maintenance — a field I invented mid-sentence and now urgently need to know about.Then Ask L2, which is what Small Talk is called now. Deborah writes in: she hired someone to take the admin off her plate and has spent three weeks secretly redoing their work at midnight. Bad boss, or bad delegator?Not a bad boss. Possibly a bad delegator. There's a difference, it's fixable, and I go through exactly how — including how people successfully manage me, which takes a lot, and the employee I genuinely loved who was in completely the wrong job.Space expands. Let's fill it.— Voicemail line — Ask L2, brags, fights: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail— Quirky community (free): https://alwaysquirky.com— What The Fractional: https://whatthefractional.com/
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About You're Not Too Much
Welcome to You're Not Too Much, a podcast about how you're not too much, space expands, so let's fill it. You’ve spent your whole life feeling like something’s wrong with you. Here’s a radical thought: what if you’re not too much? This is your no-filter, emotionally intelligent, occasionally sweary podcast that challenges the idea that we all have to fit inside neat little boxes to be acceptable. Hosted by L2 (aka Lauren Howard), this show dives into the real, raw and ridiculous sides of being neurodivergent, introverted, chronically underestimated - and still completely worthy. Expect deeply honest conversations about identity, neurodivergence, gender, work, grief, anxiety and everything in between. There’ll be tears, dead dad jokes, side quests, and a whole lot of swearing. If you are tired of pretending to be someone you’re not, this space is for you. Come for the chaos. Stay for the catharsis. Linger for the dead Dad jokes.
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