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The Psychology of Relationships: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu
Every couple has a story: the sparks, the late-night talks, the fights about nothing, and the moments that change everything. So why do some relationships thrive while others fall apart? The answer isn’t luck; it’s psychology. Join Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu, hosts of the hit podcast Dateable and authors of the book 'How to Be Dateable,' as they navigate this next phase of long-term committed relationships. Together with leading experts in the field, they'll explore what science really tells us about love, conflict, and connection — and translate it into tools you can actually use.
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- 3 days ago58 min
The Truth About Attachment Styles: Why You’re Not Just Anxious or Avoidant w/ Lauren Korshak
Attachment styles have become one of the most popular ways to understand relationships—but they’re often reduced to a few labels on social media. Julie & Yue are joined by licensed marriage and family therapist Lauren Korshak to take a closer look at what attachment theory actually tells us about love, closeness, and security. Rather than treating attachment as a fixed identity, we explore how our patterns develop, why insecurity can show up even in secure relationships, and how awareness can help us create more compassionate and connected partnerships. In this episode, you’ll learn: -What attachment theory actually tells us about relationships How anxious and avoidant patterns develop -Why even securely attached people can feel insecure -How attachment patterns can change over time -How to use attachment as a tool rather than a label To learn more about Lauren Korshak, visit https://www.lovewellsf.com/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Omaha Steaks: Try the Burger Perfection Flight at OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code BEEF. * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/por * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por * The Dare: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
- 1 weeks ago38 min
Money & Relationships: What Financial Compatibility Really Means for Couples w/ Joe Gavazza
Money can create some of the biggest tensions in a relationship—but the conflict usually isn’t just about money. It’s about what money represents: security, freedom, control, priorities, and the future you want to build together. Julie & Yue are joined by Joe Gavazza of Gavazza Wealth Management to explore what financial compatibility really looks like and how couples can talk about spending, saving, debt, and long-term goals before they become sources of conflict. In this episode, you’ll learn: - What financial compatibility actually means beyond income - How your money mindset can shape your relationship - How to talk about spending, saving, and debt - Why financial transparency can strengthen trust - How couples can create greater alignment around their future To learn more about Joe Gavazza, visit www.gavazza.com. Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Omaha Steaks: Try the Burger Perfection Flight at OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code BEEF. * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/por * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por * The Dare: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
- 2 weeks ago42 min
Relationship Self-Sabotage: Why We Push Away the Love We Actually Want w/ Dr. Raquel Peel
Sometimes the things we do to protect ourselves from getting hurt are the very things that create distance in our relationships. Julie & Yue are joined by psychologist and relationship researcher Dr. Raquel Peel to explore why we sometimes sabotage healthy relationships, from pulling away when things get serious to criticizing, becoming defensive, or shutting down when we feel vulnerable. Together, they unpack the Four Horsemen and how greater self-awareness can help us respond differently before protective patterns become relationship-ending habits. In this episode, you’ll learn: - Why we sometimes sabotage relationships that are actually healthy - How fear and self-protection can create relationship problems - What the Four Horsemen reveal about relationship conflict - How to recognize your own self-sabotaging patterns - Ways to respond with more vulnerability and intention To learn more about Dr. Raquel Peel, visit https://www.raquelpeel.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Omaha Steaks: Try the Burger Perfection Flight at OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code BEEF. * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/por * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por * The Dare: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * The Throne of Broken Gods: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
- 3 weeks ago50 min
Marriage 101: The Relationship Skills Nobody Ever Taught You w/ Dr. Alexandra Solomon
Most people enter relationships without ever being taught the skills needed to sustain one. Communication, conflict, intimacy, and emotional responsibility are often learned through trial and error instead of intention. Dr. Alexandra Solomon—licensed therapist, professor at Northwestern University, and author of Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy Back—joins Julie & Yue to explore the lessons behind her popular course Marriage 101. Rather than focusing on finding “the one,” her work centers on becoming “the one” through self-awareness, emotional growth, and relational skill-building. In this episode, you’ll learn: - Why self-awareness is essential for healthy relationships - How family history shapes the way we love - Why conflict is something to work through, not avoid - The role emotional and sexual intimacy play in long-term love - What differentiation means and why it matters in relationships To learn more about Dr. Alexandra Solomon, follow her @dralexandrasolomon and visit dralexandrasolomon.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
- Aug 20, 20261h 1m
The New Science of Emergent Love: How to Build Relationships That Grow Instead of Collapse w/ Dr. Sara Nasserzadi
What if healthy relationships require more than simply falling in love? Many traditional relationship models teach couples to merge into one shared identity, but that approach can sometimes weaken connection instead of strengthening it. Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, social psychologist and author of Love by Design, joins Julie & Yue to introduce the Emergent Love Model—a more intentional framework for lasting partnership. She explains why thriving relationships allow both people to continue evolving individually while building a meaningful life together. In this episode, you’ll learn: - The difference between emergent and submergent relationships - Why “becoming one” can sometimes weaken connection - The six ingredients that support lasting love - How intentional partnership differs from passive expectation - Ways to approach relationships with more clarity and design To learn more about Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, follow her @dr.saranasserzadeh and visit https://www.sara-nasserzadeh.com/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Omaha Steaks: Try the Burger Perfection Flight at OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code BEEF. * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/por * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por * The Dare: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * The Throne of Broken Gods: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
- Aug 13, 202651 min
Sex Talks: The Five Conversations Every Couple Needs To Transform Their Love Life w/ Vanessa and Xander Marin
Sex is one of the most important parts of a relationship—and one of the hardest topics for couples to talk about openly. Vanessa Marin, licensed psychotherapist and author of Sex Talks, joins Julie & Yue alongside her husband and collaborator Xander Marin to unpack why conversations around intimacy often feel so uncomfortable, and how avoidance can quietly create distance in relationships. Together, they explore how communication, emotional safety, and vulnerability shape intimacy far beyond the physical side of sex. In this episode, you’ll learn: - Why so many couples struggle to talk about sex openly - How avoidance impacts intimacy and emotional connection - Ways to communicate needs without shame or pressure - Why emotional safety is essential for a healthy sex life - How better conversations can strengthen intimacy overall To learn more about Vanessa and Xander Marin, follow them @vanessaandxander and visit vmtherapy.com. Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Omaha Steaks: Try the Burger Perfection Flight at OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code BEEF. * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/por * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por * The Dare: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * The Throne of Broken Gods: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
- Aug 6, 202650 min
How to Break Toxic Relationship Cycles for Good w/ Pharaoh Kyle
After enough painful relationships, many people start asking the same question: why do I keep ending up here? Pharaoh Kyle, spiritual coach and entrepreneur, joins Julie & Yue to explore how toxic relationship patterns form, why people ignore red flags, and what it takes to break unhealthy cycles. He shares how emotional wounds and lost self-trust can keep people stuck in dynamics that no longer serve them—and how healing those patterns can lead to healthier, more aligned relationships moving forward. In this episode, you’ll learn: - The common signs of toxic relationship patterns - Why people ignore red flags and stay stuck - How to rebuild trust in yourself after unhealthy relationships - What keeps old relational cycles repeating - Tools for healing and choosing healthier connections moving forward To learn more about Pharaoh Kyle, follow him @pharaohkyle and visit pharaohkyle.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Omaha Steaks: Try the Burger Perfection Flight at OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code BEEF. * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/por * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por * The Dare: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * The Throne of Broken Gods: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
- Jul 30, 202649 min
The Science Behind Knowing Yourself: How Self-Awareness Changes the Way You Love w/ Dr Tasha Eurich
Most people believe they’re self-aware—but research shows we’re often far less aware of our patterns, behaviors, and impact on others than we think. Dr. Tasha Eurich, organizational psychologist, researcher, and bestselling author of Insight, joins Julie & Yue to explore how self-awareness shapes relationships, communication, and long-term compatibility. She explains why the gap between how we see ourselves and how others experience us can quietly influence attraction, conflict, and connection—and how increasing awareness can change the way we show up in relationships. In this episode, you’ll learn: - The difference between internal and external self-awareness - Why most people overestimate how self-aware they are - How self-awareness impacts attraction and communication - Why asking “what” instead of “why” creates more change - Ways to become more conscious of your relationship patterns To learn more about Dr. Tasha Eurich, follow her @tashaeurich and visit tashaeurich.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
About The Psychology of Relationships
Every couple has a story: the sparks, the late-night talks, the fights about nothing, and the moments that change everything. So why do some relationships thrive while others fall apart? The answer isn’t luck; it’s psychology. Join Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu, hosts of the hit podcast Dateable and authors of the book 'How to Be Dateable,' as they navigate this next phase of long-term committed relationships. Together with leading experts in the field, they'll explore what science really tells us about love, conflict, and connection — and translate it into tools you can actually use.
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