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The Art Of Imperfect Adulting: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Amy Stone
Welcome to The Art of Imperfect Adulting. This is a show where we explore the beautiful mess of real-life decisions that shape who we become. Real life doesn't come with an instruction manual. Most of us make decisions without as much information or confidence as we'd like, and our stories don't fit neatly into highlight reels or cautionary tales. In a world of picture-perfect posts and reality TV extremes, this show carves out space for everyday adults figuring things out as we go. Each episode features honest conversations with guests sharing the choices, changes, and challenges that defined their journey. These aren't stories of flawless triumph or epic disaster. They're real accounts of life's pivotal moments, big and small. From choosing unconventional paths and setting unexpected boundaries to moving cross-country or reinventing yourself entirely, we explore decisions that seemed simple at the time but changed everything. Your host is Amy Stone. She's an adult herself—mortgage, kids, and all.
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- 5 days ago47 min
Deconstructing Religious Identity to Embrace Authenticity with Bekah Slider
If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/supportIn this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Bekah Slider about the journey of deconstructing and rebuilding personal identity after leaving evangelical Christianity and a decades-long marriage. Based in Ohio, Bekah shares her path from corporate America to church leadership, and later, her transformations through coaching and creating adult content on OnlyFans. This episode does not ignore the tough questions. We go deep into themes of authenticity, the cost of belonging, overcoming shame, and ultimately, learning to refuse self-abandonment in the search for external validation.About Bekah Slider:Bekah Slider is an identity coach, speaker, and creator of The Inevitable Woman methodology. After deconstructing her faith, leaving a 22-year marriage, and rebuilding her life from the ground up, she went on to become a top 1% OnlyFans creator—one chapter in a much larger story about choosing herself before her life made sense. Today, she helps high-achieving women stop renegotiating who they've already decided to be and trust themselves before the evidence arrives. Her work challenges the belief that clarity comes first, arguing instead that self-loyalty is what changes everything.Main Topics Covered:Deconstructing faith and identity after growing up in conservative evangelical Christianity.What it means to stop negotiating with yourself and start asking hard personal questions.Navigating the complexity of sexuality, shame, and coming out as bisexual after years of compartmentalization.The ripple effect of major identity shifts: leaving church leadership, ending a 22-year marriage, and finding autonomy.Exploring creativity, empowerment, and stigma as a top 1% OnlyFans creator.Real talk on the skills gained from preaching, coaching, and content creation—and how they overlap in unexpected ways.The pain and liberation of losing relationships (including family) in order to live authentically.Practical steps for reconnecting to one’s body, intuition, and self-trust after living under external authority.Quote from the Episode:"I would rather live true to myself even if that meant losing people than continue to fragment myself in a way that I had been doing my entire life at that point." — Bekah SliderTimestamps:00:18 Meet Bekah Slider—origins, nature-loving in Ohio, and generational identity02:10 Bekah’s path: corporate work to lay church leadership to pastor03:21 What being a (female) pastor in a nondenominational evangelical church meant06:27 Growing up in conservative Christianity—strict home, questioning faith in adolescence08:06 What does “stopping negotiating with yourself” really mean?11:36 Identity bricks: reconciling sexuality, faith, and harmful constructs13:25 The ongoing, painful choice of releasing old identity—fear of hell and the unknown15:33 Timeline: leaving pastoring, deconstruction, ending marriage, and exploring sexuality17:51 Coaching, speaking, open marriage, then the decision to become an OnlyFans creator20:57 The decision process: sitting with potential stigma, honesty with children21:40 First baby steps: reconnecting to body, unshaming mistakes, intuitive self-trust24:33 OnlyFans Q&A—creative intentions, what content Bekah created, and surprises26:02 Stigma versus reality: intimacy, connection, and authenticity on OF28:06 Pre-deconstruction self—sexuality, shame, and differing conceptions of “freedom”31:28 Skill overlaps: how being a pastor shaped Bekah’s OnlyFans and coaching persona33:09 Wrapping up OnlyFans, why Bekah walked away despite financial success35:58 The high personal cost—losing family, refusing to abandon yourself for others41:24 Book & podcast recommendations: "You Are a Badass" and The Courage to Fully Live43:22 Recent online purchase: rainbow-colored mini mic windscreens for creative joy and self-expression44:32 Final reflections: the journey from external validation to feeling at home with yourselfABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting shares authentic conversations with and for women about the choices and decisions that shape a life. These are the choices that nobody gives you an instruction book to handle. Topics include: career reinvention, divorce and starting over, caregiving for aging parents, getting sober, menopause, and healing from abuse and trauma and more. These are stories of lived experience, not advice because there's a difference between being told what to do and hearing how someone else actually navigated a similar crossroads.CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: <a href="https://theliberationlounge.netlify.app/"
- 1 weeks ago39 min
Unexpected Job Loss and Finding Purpose with Charnisse Thompson
If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/supportNever Miss a Moment of Imperfect AdultingWe invite you to join our email community and let us bring the podcast directly to you! As a subscriber, you'll receive notifications about new episodes, exclusive offers from our amazing guests, and easier access to any of the important links mentioned on the show—no more scrambling to write down websites or remember special codes.Why subscribe?Stay up-to-date without checking your podcast appGet guest offers delivered straight to your inboxAccess all important links in one convenient placeCatch the highlights even when you don't have time to listenAre you ready? Join us at https://www.imperfectadulting.comIn this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Charnisse Thompson about the connection between career upheaval, personal identity, and rediscovering passion after a layoff. Based in the Northeast, where she enjoys the vibrancy of major cities like New York, Washington D.C., and Philadelphia, Charnisse shares how being laid off from her dream job led her to pursue a long-held love for fashion. The conversation uncovers her journey from pharmaceutical sales to becoming a fashion stylist and entrepreneur, exploring the mindset shifts, financial realities, and self-permission needed to start over. Listeners will gain insights on resilience, redefining success, and embracing career pivots as gateways to renewed confidence and purpose.About Charnisse Thompson:Charnisse Thompson is a fashion stylist, personal style mentor, author, and founder of Maison Charnisse, a personal styling and fashion education brand dedicated to helping women reconnect with confidence through style. Through virtual styling services, digital guides, and practical fashion education, she helps women navigate body changes, life transitions, and wardrobe disconnects with greater clarity, confidence, and intention. After an unexpected career pivot led her to pursue her lifelong passion for fashion, Charnisse launched Maison Charnisse to empower women to show up confidently as themselves. She is also the author of Girl, Dress the Body You've Got and believes personal style can be a powerful tool for self-trust, confidence, and transformation.Main Topics Covered:The emotional impact of unexpected layoffs and the myth of job securityRealities of financial preparedness, severance, and navigating major life changes soloReframing traditional notions of success and identity beyond job titlesHow attending a women’s empowerment conference unlocked self-permission to pursue entrepreneurshipThe steps and mindset required to turn a lifelong passion for fashion and styling into a businessBuilding a personal brand: from giving friends style advice to establishing Maison CharnisePractical support and confidence for women navigating wardrobe changes during life transitionsThe importance of a supportive network and starting before everything feels “perfect”Quote from the Episode:"I always thought that everything needed to be perfect in order to start a business.I learned so much at that conference that it doesn't have to be perfect. You just have to just start." — Charnisse ThompsonTimestamps:[00:00:19] Introduction to Charnisse and the themes of career and personal identity[00:01:48] Charnisse’s origin story: from a medical school dream to pharmaceutical sales[00:04:43] The expectation of lifelong employment and the corporate “dream company”[00:05:12] The shock of layoff despite high performance and support system reassurances[00:08:13] Facing a layoff solo: emergency funds, severance, and financial mindset[00:10:18] Giving herself permission to pursue a passion for fashion after a pivotal women’s conference[00:13:09] The influence of entrepreneurial friends and the value of a supportive circle[00:14:22] Balancing a new business alongside a 9-to-5 job and redefining reliance on corporate work[00:16:41] Realizing the instability of corporate security and considering entrepreneurship as an option[00:17:12] Breaking free from the belief that starting something on the side requires permission[00:19:35] From sketchbooks to styling: the evolution of Maison Charnise[00:21:53] The role of a personal stylist and the emotional side of shopping and wardrobe consulting[00:26:44] Shifting identity from corporate job titles to entrepreneur and auth
- 2 weeks ago49 min
Embracing Change and Authenticity After Divorce with Paige Lavelle
If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/supportIn this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Paige Lavelle about letting go of the “picture-perfect life” to pursue true self-discovery and authenticity. Paige, who now lives in Rochester, New York, opens up about leaving behind a carefully curated adult existence to confront her dissatisfaction and embark on a journey of rebuilding. She shares candidly about cultural and family expectations, breaking away from perfectionism, and what it takes to publicly own our most difficult transformations.About Paige Lavelle:Paige Lavell is the author of Invisibly Unwell and host of the Invisibly Unwell podcast. She is also a fintech leader with over 18 years of experience working for companies including Etsy, Meta, Block, and PayPal. Through Invisibly Unwell, Paige explores chronic illness beyond wellness culture and the quiet suffering masked by achievement, perfectionism, and the pressure to keep it all together.Main Topics Covered:Why the “picture-perfect life” doesn’t guarantee happiness—and how societal, family, and cultural conditioning shape our adult choicesThe hidden misery behind checking all the right boxes: graduate degree, career, marriage, and home ownershipSigns and symptoms of internal discomfort: boredom, lack of fulfillment, and wishing for “external” reasons to make big life changesNavigating pushback, judgment, and projections from friends and family after making unconventional choices, especially divorceThe role of therapy and self-reflection in identifying true needs versus surface-level fixes (diet, wellness, decor)The non-linear, often uncomfortable process of self-discovery: trying on new identities, moving, and re-evaluating relationshipsBuilding a new life on your own terms: cultivating authentic friendships, trying new things, and facing loneliness and doubtShifting from private struggle to public sharing: why Paige writes and podcasts about invisible health challenges and difficult transitionsQuote from the Episode:“What I used to think was my own little special mixture of issues was not so special. Obviously we all have unique stories and unique circumstances, but there was definitely this underlying theme of women I met who were just going through this period or had gotten past this period of, like, is this really what I want?” —Paige LavelleTimestamps:[00:00:19] Welcome and greetings from Rochester, NY; Paige on appreciating family, convenience, and this life chapter[00:03:10] Defining “picture-perfect”: owning a home, marriage, career, but feeling unfulfilled[00:05:18] Sources of the ideal: family, being “eldest daughter,” and cultural pressure toward conventional success[00:09:40] Signs of hidden misery: boredom, longing for more, self-doubt, and fantasizing about escape[00:12:31] Realization in therapy and wishing for something to end her marriage “for” her[00:16:20] Making the leap: divorce, moving, and the resulting feedback from friends, family, and others[00:18:18] Facing judgment tied to religion, family, and societal expectations about marriage and divorce[00:21:07] Attempts at self-discovery: going down the “wellness” rabbit hole before confronting deeper truths[00:24:22] Starting over: healing, moving “home,” re-evaluating friendships and self[00:31:03] The reality of rebuilding: finding solid friendships, facing singles/dating world, exploring new interests like yoga[00:34:51] Doubt, loneliness, and the emotional cost of transformation[00:37:25] Choosing to go public: shedding the stigma of invisible struggle and helping others feel seen[00:42:27] Paige’s recommendation: the ritual and mental escape of watching Jeopardy[00:44:28] Favorite online purchases: Lovevery toddler toys and a whole house water filter—small wins that matterABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges. These are conversations with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: <a href="https://www.invisiblyunwell.c
- 3 weeks ago53 min
Debt, Shame and Being Honest About Finances with Julian Kohlbrand
If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/supportIn this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Julian Kohlbrand about navigating six figures of consumer debt, financial shame, and the path to authentic money management. Based just outside Seattle, Washington, Julian opens up about her experiences as an economics major, her personal struggles with debt despite a strong financial education, and how her journey led her to both self-acceptance and coaching others. Listeners will hear honest reflections on the emotional weight of debt, the power of open communication, and the practical, values-driven steps Julian took to change her financial future.About Julian Kohlbrand:Julian "Jewlz The Budget Nerd" Kohlbrand is on a mission to empower families to take control of their finances and reclaim their time. Through her coaching practice and podcast, she provides practical advice, actionable strategies, and ADHD-friendly support to help individuals and families achieve their financial dreams.Main Topics Covered:The emotional impact of consumer debt and why shame is so prevalent—even for those with financial know-how.How family values, generational beliefs, and upbringing shape our relationship with money and debt.The disconnect between academic economics and real-life personal finance skills (budgeting, debt management).Communication and transparency in relationships: aligning money philosophies with your partner.The role of ADHD in money management, executive functioning, and day-to-day financial decision-making.Creating actionable, judgment-free plans to dig out from debt—why talking about it is the first step to transformation.Rethinking social spending, boundaries with friends and family, and the tough adjustments that support financial health.Prioritizing values and intentional spending—how to manage your money without feeling deprived.Quote from the Episode:"It just felt like I had put on this backpack that I couldn't let go of. I carried it around with me everywhere. Then one day I said, we can't do this anymore. We have to rip the Band-Aid off. We have to figure this out and get rid of this because this is not how I envisioned my life to be." — Julian KohlbrandTimestamps:[00:00:22] Julian introduced; Seattle life and love for Western Washington summers[00:01:38] Navigating generational identity and family patterns[00:04:10] Studying economics: college experience and the surprising lack of personal finance education[00:06:19] Choosing not to pursue grad school—financial motivations and career pivots[00:12:54] What qualifies as consumer debt? Differentiating mortgage, student loans, car loans, and credit cards[00:16:00] Real estate commissions, irregular income, prioritizing family over bills, and how debt snowballs[00:19:59] Breaking down the origins and weight of financial shame[00:21:35] The turning point: deciding to face the debt and rebuild as a couple[00:28:09] How talking about debt (and dropping the “backpack”) was key to overcoming shame[00:31:04] The ripple effect on friendships and the need to reset social spending habits[00:34:11] Calculating the true extent of debt years later; importance of facing the numbers[00:37:12] The first actionable steps: emergency savings, redefining what’s an “emergency,” and ongoing communication[00:40:32] Why Julian shares her story publicly: hope for others and the ADHD connection[00:45:15] How Julian helps others as a financial coach (and podcast info: Debt Rebel)[00:46:37] Special offer: free financial self-care journal for listeners[00:47:50] Recommendations—favorite podcast for family nostalgia[00:49:21] Online shopping and intentional splurges: golf clubs, joy, and mindful value-based spending[00:50:38] Closing thoughts on values-based money management and gratitude for communityABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting shares authentic conversations with and for women about the choices and decisions that shape a life. These are the choices that nobody gives you an instruction book to handle. Topics include: career reinvention, divorce and starting over, caregiving for aging parents, getting sober, menopause, and healing from abuse and trauma and more.These are stories of lived experience, not advice because there's a difference between being told what to do and hearing how someone else actually navigated a similar crossroadsCONNECT WITH THE GUEST: <a href="https://www.jewlzthebudgetnerd.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank
- Aug 18, 202645 min
Finding Support in the Postpartum Experience with Kristen Smith
If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/supportIn this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Kristin Smith about the power of hard-won resilience, career pivots, and building a family-focused business from personal struggle. Kristin, based in Western Massachusetts, shares her journey from becoming a mother at age 19 in New York City to founding a nationwide postpartum care company. Listeners will take away insights on early motherhood, overcoming isolation, and the steps to turning life’s hardest moments into entrepreneurial fuel.About Kristin Smith:Kristin Smith is the founder of Well Supported Family, a newborn care and postpartum support agency with a national presence that connects families with experienced caregivers during the early stages of parenthood. She began her career as a professional nanny, and in 2008, she was named Nanny of the Year by Family Helpers, and the following year she was selected as a finalist for ABC’s America’s Supernanny.Main Topics Covered:The profound impact of becoming a mother at a young age, and how it changed Kristin’s life trajectoryExperiences of postpartum isolation—even in the middle of a big city and while working in childcareThe practical and emotional micro-decisions involved in leaving an unsupportive relationship and starting overTurning personal challenges in early motherhood into a meaningful, sustainable career as a doula and eventually entrepreneurBuilding and scaling a postpartum support business (now Well Supported Family) from solo practice to a national team serving diverse familiesThe logistics and realities of growing a service business as a single mother, with the help of family and later, a supportive partnerEmbracing bold choices, learning from mistakes, and cultivating confidence as a self-taught business ownerEncouragement that it’s possible to find joy and purpose in work, and that past choices don’t define one’s future potentialQuote from the Episode:"I just always had the mentality of go big or go home... I have to have the ability to kind of sit back within my own company and hand off all the tasks that I don't want to do so I can enjoy life. Because I've worked so hard and so long and put so many blood, sweat, and tears into this that I gotta make this bigger than it is." — Kristin SmithTimestamps:[00:00:19] Kristin’s introduction and life in Western Massachusetts[00:01:38] Identifying as a Millennial and early life plans[00:02:35] Nearly joining the military and pivoting to nanny work in NYC[00:05:27] Experience of moving alone to New York and early motherhood[00:08:01] Raising a newborn with minimal support and returning home[00:09:34] Mindset and decision-making when isolated postpartum[00:12:03] Reflection on giving her partner a “fair shot” for her daughter’s sake[00:15:12] In-depth exploration of postpartum isolation—even with a childcare background[00:18:13] Career pivots: training as an EMT, postpartum doula, home birth midwife, and starting solo practice[00:22:09] The realities of balancing overnight client work and single motherhood[00:24:58] Growing a solo practice into a team and national agency (Nightingale Night Nurses/Well Supported Family)[00:28:33] First steps in hiring, business learning curve, and problem-solving through mistakes[00:34:21] Kristin’s motivations for building a larger business and desire to help more families[00:36:34] Kristin’s advice—on redefining yourself after setbacks, and building a joyful career[00:38:23] About Well Supported Family: services, who they serve, and how to connect[00:40:50] Kristin’s current TV recommendation and favorite purchase for new parentsABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges. These are conversations with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: https://wellsupportedfamily.com/Never Miss a Moment of Imperfect Ad
- Aug 11, 202647 min
Redesigning Life for Family with Kimberly Tara
If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/supportIn this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Kimberly Tara about navigating career pivots, entrepreneurship, and the realities of balancing family life with professional ambition. Kimberly Tara is based in the suburbs of Charlotte, North Carolina. Kimberly shares her journey from aspiring chemical engineer to CPA firm owner. Listeners will gain insight into the pressures of high achievement, handling burnout, the challenges of growing a business while raising four young kids, and the confidence required to own both your finances and your dreams.About Kimberly Tara:Kimberly Tara is a CPA, Certified Tax Coach, author, podcast host and founder of The Tara CPA firm and TaxMove. She's also a wife and mom to four amazing kiddos all born in 5 and a half years (no twins!). She's on a mission to help profitable business owners have access to reliable tax strategy, so they can actually use their business to pay less taxes instead of more. Kimberly believes that the definition of success isn't about more money, it's about making the most of what you have on your terms.Main Topics Covered:Pivoting from chemical engineering to accounting mid-college: decision-making and overcoming feelings of failure.The realities of financial planning and debt after changing majors.Choosing between corporate career tracks and entrepreneurship, and how observing workplace role models can clarify life priorities.Experiencing and identifying burnout as a high-achieving parent and business owner.Transitioning from solopreneur to building and leading a team, including the operational and mindset shifts required.The societal pressures on women to “do it all,” people-pleasing, and the importance of setting boundaries.Strategies for sustainable business growth, scalable systems, and redefining personal and professional success.Empowering women to take charge of their finances and believe in their ability to thrive as business owners.Timestamps:[00:00:00] Show intro; Kimberly’s move from New Orleans to Charlotte, NC, and what she loves about it[00:00:44] Reflections on generational identity and why it matters for the conversation[00:02:39] Original college plans: chemical engineering, internships, and the hard pivot to accounting[00:04:25] The emotional process of changing majors and facing internalized feelings of failure[00:06:51] Financial impacts of switching majors, scholarships lost, and student debt[00:08:14] Starting a new career in public accounting; the importance of the CPA credential[00:09:39] Why Kimberly chose a medium-sized firm over the Big 4[00:13:29] The partnership track in accounting and a moment of clarity: witnessing a manager balance work and motherhood[00:16:39] Choosing personal over professional milestones; how representation informs life decisions[00:22:04] Early career burnout, and feeling pressured to perform in every life role[00:27:17] The ongoing influence of people-pleasing and perfectionism[00:30:26] Deciding whether to stay small or grow the firm; math, motherhood, and management[00:35:35] The operational reboot: packages, team-building, and shifting systems to support scale[00:39:45] Why Kimberly shares her story—empowering women in business and financial confidence[00:41:11] Redefining business ownership for freelancers and digital creators[00:42:25] Kimberly’s recommended read: “Remarkably Bright Creatures”[00:43:30] Favorite practical purchase: The Dyson stick vacuum[00:44:53] Amy’s wrap-up, how to join the community, and podcast closing notesABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges. These are conversations with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: https://taracpafirm.com or https://taxmove.ioGET KIMBERLY TARA'S S
- Aug 4, 202642 min
Stand-up Comedy and Embracing Creative Risks with Lisa Reid
If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/supportIn this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Leisa Reid about facing fears and stepping onto the stand-up comedy stage for the first time as an adult. Based in Rancho Santa Margarita, Orange County, CA, Leisa shares how she challenged her self-doubt, pushed personal boundaries, and translated her background in public speaking into a one-night-only comedy experience. Listeners will discover how leaning into discomfort can spark transformation, why resisting an opportunity can be a sign to pursue it, and the behind-the-scenes process of writing and performing a stand-up set.About Leisa Reid:Leisa Reid is known as The Speaking Strategy Mentor and is the Founder of Get Speaking Gigs Now™ and the CEO of the International Speaker Network™.Having delivered over 600 talks and authored 9 books, Leisa has helped business owners scale their impact beyond 1:1- through the power of speaking. She believes speaking isn’t just about giving a talk; it’s about creating a consistent strategy to get booked, stay booked, and attract clients for the lifetime of your business.Leisa is passionate about showing experts how to use speaking as a serious revenue pathway, without the pressure of being perfect or “salesy.” Her down-to-earth approach and proven system empower business owners to confidently share their message, grow their business, and make the impact they were born to create.Quote from the Episode:“There’s no one who can do your pushups for you when you’re on stage. It is you, you, and you, baby. And it can feel scary. It can feel vulnerable, but that’s also the juicy part of it.” — Leisa ReidTimestamps:[00:00:00] Introduction to the show & what listeners can expect[00:00:41] Leisa’s home in Rancho Santa Margarita, CA, and what she loves about it[00:01:36] Generation identifier and connecting with the Gen X audience[00:02:21] How few people actually knew about Leisa’s stand-up comedy venture[00:03:44] Leisa’s lifelong resistance to stand-up comedy and why she thought it was the scariest speaking format[00:05:07] Quick-wittedness versus planned jokes; discovering personal comedic style[00:06:42] The story behind Leisa being invited — and initially refusing — to perform stand-up[00:08:26] Setting a personal deadline: making stand-up her birthday event[00:09:04] Why strong resistance sometimes means it’s time to say yes[00:12:20] Coaching preparations, writing struggles, and tailoring comedy to her true voice[00:16:07] Researching and choosing the right open mic environment[00:18:04] Doing a dry run and the contrast of performing for strangers versus a supportive crowd[00:19:25] Audience reactions and support from friends and family[00:21:12] Will Leisa keep doing comedy? Writing new material and documenting ideas[00:24:02] Stand-up comedy as a hobby, not a new career—balancing enjoyment and practicality[00:25:28] Reflecting on how trying comedy impacted Leisa’s confidence, life, and relationships[00:27:17] Hopes for listeners: pushing through discomfort and sharing your unique brilliance[00:28:32] Exploring vulnerability, fear, and the “safe, risky yes” in adult growth[00:30:09] Leisa’s professional work helping entrepreneurs craft their signature talks[00:33:07] Changing fears of public speaking and how social dynamics have shifted[00:36:04] Special offer for listeners: Leisa’s tips for public speaking and booking gigs[00:36:54] Leisa’s podcast/media recommendations and a lighthearted discussion of favorite showsABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges. These are conversations with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: https://GetSpeakingGigsNow.comGET LEISA'S SPECIAL OFFER: Want speaking gigs? Get FREE Access to the “5 Top Tips to Get Speaking Gigs Now™”Link to ACCESS: https://GetSpeakingGigsNow.com/tips$97 Value
- Jul 28, 20261h 7m
Self-Defense Beyond Fighting with Elicia Ybarra
If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/supportIn this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Elicia Ybarra about the intricate relationship between martial arts, self-defense, trauma, and personal healing. Elicia, based outside Los Angeles, California, opens up about her journey from martial arts prodigy to survivor of emotional and physical manipulation and abuse. Elicia is a lifelong martial artist, dedicated women's self-defense instructor, and passionate advocate for empowering women to live confidently and fearlessly. With over three decades of martial arts experience, including a 4th dan black belt in Taekwondo and a 1st dan black belt in Hapkido, Elicia has transformed her personal journey of resilience into a mission to uplift others. She is the founder of Pretty Hands, Hard Punches.Main Topics Covered:How childhood chaos and trauma led Elicia to find structure and identity through martial arts.The role of martial arts in fostering confidence—but also the hidden dangers of imbalance in power and authority within insular communities.The process of grooming, manipulation, and the often-missed warning signs, especially for young women in high-trust environments.Redefining self-defense: why emotional intelligence, boundaries, and situational awareness are just as vital as physical fighting skills.Elicia’s experience escaping cycles of abuse—from martial arts instructors to romantic partners—and recognizing patterns to break free.The impact of postpartum depression and motherhood in bringing unresolved trauma to the surface, eventually prompting deep healing work.The creation of Pretty Hands Hard Punches, Elicia’s business focused on empowering women to recognize red flags, set boundaries, and advocate for themselves inside and outside martial arts.Practical advice for women on trusting intuition, refusing to sideline discomfort, and shifting the definition of self-defense to include emotional and psychological empowerment.Timestamps:[00:00:00] Amy introduces Elicia and her Southern California roots[00:02:13] Elicia’s early love for martial arts and personal motivation[00:05:07] Martial arts styles explained—taekwondo, karate, hapkido, and the importance of structure for kids[00:10:03] Martial arts as sanctuary from a chaotic childhood and the soothing power of routine[00:15:27] The illusion of safety—why physical prowess didn’t prevent Elicia from falling victim to grooming and manipulation[00:18:17] How grooming began: trusting authority, ignoring discomfort, and escalating boundary crossings[00:24:55] Elicia reflects on the normalization of inappropriate dynamics and the later realization of abuse[00:34:07] How community and family reactions reinforced isolation after she came forward[00:38:41] Escaping one abusive environment, only to face another in a professional martial arts setting[00:43:40] The breaking point: realizing her true role in the toxic gym and finally walking away[00:49:06] The cycle of self-loathing, toxic relationships, and eventually, a decisive break for self-love and healing[00:52:18] Postpartum depression as a catalyst for deep self-reflection, therapy, and transformation[00:54:05] Transitioning from teaching fighting techniques to empowering women through boundaries, self-worth, and intuition[00:58:16] Why most “self-defense” tools aren’t enough—advocating for listening to intuition over guns or pepper spray[01:00:28] Free resources from Elicia: Safety guide and Ideal You worksheet in the show notes[01:01:14] Elicia’s recommendations: From Now On podcast and the book The Gift of Fear[01:03:53] A lighthearted close—Elicia’s American flag dress and embracing celebrationABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges. These are conversations with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: www.prettyhandshardpunches.comGET ELICIA
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About The Art Of Imperfect Adulting
Welcome to The Art of Imperfect Adulting. This is a show where we explore the beautiful mess of real-life decisions that shape who we become. Real life doesn't come with an instruction manual. Most of us make decisions without as much information or confidence as we'd like, and our stories don't fit neatly into highlight reels or cautionary tales. In a world of picture-perfect posts and reality TV extremes, this show carves out space for everyday adults figuring things out as we go. Each episode features honest conversations with guests sharing the choices, changes, and challenges that defined their journey. These aren't stories of flawless triumph or epic disaster. They're real accounts of life's pivotal moments, big and small. From choosing unconventional paths and setting unexpected boundaries to moving cross-country or reinventing yourself entirely, we explore decisions that seemed simple at the time but changed everything. Your host is Amy Stone. She's an adult herself—mortgage, kids, and all.
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