Free Daily Podcast Summary
I Wish You Knew: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Adam Lane Smith & Andrey Korikov
Join the duo, Andrey Korikov, and Adam Lane Smith The Attachment Specialist, as they cut through the noise with bold, unfiltered discussions on love, connection, and relationships. From questions about love, psychology, and relationships to discussing the latest shifts in the culture and media, they’ll cover it all. If you’re ready for a podcast that’s as insightful and real as it gets—buckle up and get ready to rethink everything you thought you knew about relationships!
Latest Episodes
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- 5 days ago1h 12m
The Resentment Epidemic Your Wife Will Never Tell You About | Dr. Morgan Cutlip and Adam Lane Smith
She is exhausted, overwhelmed, and carrying a running list in her head that never stops. And he has no idea it exists. Not because he does not care. Because nobody ever showed him what it actually is or what it is costing her. Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Dr. Morgan Cutlip, the world's leading expert on the mental load, to break down exactly what the mental load is, why most men completely miss it, and what it actually takes to fix it without destroying the marriage in the process. This is not a lecture about fairness. It is an attachment science and relationship psychology breakdown of why the invisible labor of home and family life is quietly building resentment in millions of marriages and what both partners can do about it right now. What you will learn in this video: 1- What the mental load actually is and why most men only see one third of what their wife is actually carrying 2- The triple threat of physical mental and emotional labor and why one item on a to do list unpacks into something enormous 3- Why the mental load crowds out the mental real estate required for desire and what that means for your sex life 4- Why men change for pain and consequences not for love and what that means for this conversation 5- Why resentment builds silently for years before it explodes as divorce 6- The exact words a man can say to a wife who has felt dismissed for years that will not blow the whole thing up 7- Why the weekly check-in changes everything and what it actually looks like in practice 8- What women need to get clear on before they can ever communicate what they need 9- Why running your marriage like a business and treating your wife like talent you cannot afford to lose changes the dynamic overnight If she is carrying everything and he does not know where to start, this conversation will show both of you exactly what to do next. 📚 WORK WITH ME 👉 Join Secure Circle PLUS: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-community?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social Join the Secure Circle: FREE Community: https://circle.adamlanesmith.com/free-sign-up?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=newsletter If you enjoyed this video and want more content like this, do me a favor: be sure to hit that like button, leave a comment, and don't forget to subscribe to the channel! Connect with me on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ Better Share app, get started for free with the Care Load Assessment. Make the invisible visible in 5 minutes. https://quiz.bettershareapp.com/?utm_source=morgan Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmorgancutlip Website: www.drmorgancutlip.com http://www.drmorgancutlip.com book: https://amzn.to/4dkxUu4
- 1 weeks ago1h 10m
Why Men Stop Trying to Make You Happy | Alison Armstrong & Adam Lane Smith
Most women have been trying to understand men the same way they understand other women. And it has never worked. Not because men are broken, but because nobody ever showed her how they actually work. Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Alison Armstrong, one of the world's leading experts on understanding men and the author of The Queen's Code, for a conversation years in the making. Together they break down why men and women keep missing each other, what women get catastrophically wrong about men, and what changes everything when a woman finally learns to see a man for what he actually is. Join the Secure Circle: FREE Community: https://circle.adamlanesmith.com/free-sign-up?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=6/4 What you will learn in this video: 1- Why men are actually more naturally committal than women and what is getting in the way of that commitment 2- Why the testosterone soaked brain is built for focus and why interrupting that focus is not just annoying but genuinely disruptive to his peace 3- Why a man working 16 hour days and giving everything he has can still hear that he is not enough 4- Why men concealing things from their partners is not dishonesty and what it actually is 5- Why respect matters more to most men than love and why women resist saying it even when they feel it 6- Why a man cannot commit to something he believes he cannot win at and what that means for marriage 7- Why 95 percent of a woman's happiness depends on herself and not on him and why that is actually good news 8- Why men scan for complementary strengths in a partner and why women compete instead of complement If you have ever felt misunderstood by the man in your life, or if you are a woman who cannot figure out why nothing you try is working, this conversation will show you exactly what has been missing. 📚 WORK WITH ME Secure Circle: FREE Community: https://circle.adamlanesmith.com/free-sign-up?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=6/4 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=6/4 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=6/4 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=6/4 If you enjoyed this video and want more content like this, do me a favor: be sure to hit that like button, leave a comment, and don't forget to subscribe to the channel! Connect with me on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/
- 3 weeks ago1h 12m
How to Win at Marriage (The Way You Win at Work) | Patrick Lencioni
Your marriage is a team. Most people are running it like a dysfunctional one and have no idea why nothing is working. Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Patrick Lencioni, author of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team and one of the world's leading experts on organizational health, to break down what makes teams fall apart, why the same dysfunctions destroying companies are destroying marriages, and what it actually takes to build real trust, real loyalty, and a relationship that functions like a winning team. This is not a business conversation. It is an attachment science and leadership psychology breakdown of why the skills that build great organizations are the exact same ones that build great families. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why trust is the single greatest competitive advantage in business and in marriage and why most people never build it 2- Why vulnerability is not weakness and what it actually unlocks biochemically in the people around you 3- Why the five dysfunctions of a team show up identically in marriage and what to do about each one 4- What Working Genius is and why understanding yours and your partner's changes everything overnight 5- Why your partner may have been loving you in the way God made them and you completely missed it 6- Why couples date nights make disconnected marriages worse not better and what to fix first 7- Why the most bitterly resentful couples usually want the exact same thing and just never knew it 8- How to run a marriage like a business in a way that creates more joy not less 9- Why unhealed wounds always find their way back into the marriage no matter how hard you try to keep them out 10- What secure attachment and organizational health have in common and why both require the same foundation If your marriage feels like a dysfunctional team, this conversation will show you exactly why and what to build instead. An exclusive discount on Working Genius Assessments. Use code IWISHYOUKNEW for 20% off all WG Licenses and Assessments. 📚 WORK WITH ME 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=5/21 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=5/21 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=5/21 Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1 Patrick Lencioni: -LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-lencioni-orghealth/ -YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6uqwkNOGb7Qf-uTeEC8K_w -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patricklencioniofficial/ -X: https://x.com/patricklencioni?lang=en
- May 15, 202659 min
What Nobody Teaches You About Making Friends as an Adult | Jordan Harbinger & Adam Lane Smith
Two thirds of millennials are experiencing depression symptoms from loneliness. Everyone is walking around wishing someone would talk to them. And nobody is starting. Not because they do not want connection. Because they are terrified of looking like they only want something. Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Jordan Harbinger, one of the world's leading experts on human connection and authentic relationship building, to break down exactly why people stay isolated, what the difference is between networking and genuine bonding, and how to start building real human relationships even if you have no one right now. This is not a social skills video. It is an attachment science and behavioral psychology breakdown of why the loneliest people are often the kindest ones, and what they have been getting wrong without knowing it. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why the nicest people in the room are the ones staying silent and how that is making the loneliness epidemic worse 2- The number one mistake people make when trying to build relationships and why it poisons everything before it starts 3- Why covert contracts are quietly destroying friendships you thought were solid 4- The difference between ABC always be closing and ABG always be generous and why one builds real loyalty and the other destroys it 5- Why 65 percent of adult Americans are running a feelings and services mentality without knowing it 6- How secure attachment and Jordan's abundance networking model are describing the exact same thing from two different fields 7- Why keeping score in relationships is a losing battle even when you think you are being fair 8- How to be interesting if you do not think you are and what the most genuinely magnetic people do instead 9- What to actually do if you are new to a city, isolated, and have no idea where to begin 10- Why the only currency that survives everything is real human relationships and how to start building them today If you have been waiting for someone else to reach out first, this conversation is for you. 📚 WORK WITH ME 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=5/14 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=5/14 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=5/14 Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1 Jordan Harbinger: Linktree: https://linktr.ee/jordanharbinger YouTube: jordanharbinger.com/youtube Instagram: instagram.com/jordanharbinger
- May 8, 20261h 16m
The Real Reason Men Are Terrified of Fatherhood | Devin Schadt and Adam Lane Smith
Why would a man embrace marriage and fatherhood in 2026? Most men are not asking that question with curiosity. They are asking it with exhaustion. They have heard a thousand reasons why marriage is a trap, why fatherhood is a burden, and why the risk is not worth the reward. And almost nobody is giving them a reason to say yes. Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Devin Schadt, Executive Director of Fathers of Saint Joseph, for a conversation about what fatherhood actually is, why men are starving for it without knowing it, and why the crisis at the center of every social, financial, and cultural problem in America traces back to one thing: the absence of fathers. What you will learn in this conversation: 1- Why masculinity finds its fulfillment in spiritual fatherhood and what that means for men who have never heard it framed that way 2- What the statistics on fatherless homes actually show and why every major social crisis connects back to this one root 3- Why men are wired for mission and what happens to a man's nervous system when that mission is denied or never given to him 4- Why living in relationship is the hardest and most necessary thing a man can do and why his instinct to solve and complete works against him 5- Why trust in God the Father is the foundation of becoming a father worth trusting and what that looks like in daily life 6- How a man leads his wife in a way that she follows eagerly and why most men have never been shown what that actually looks like 7- Why loneliness precedes depression in men and what the research says about isolation versus solitude 8- The five practical steps for building real brotherhood with other men and why most men's groups fail before they start 9- Why the mission of fatherhood is the one thing that can unite men across every political, cultural, and ideological divide If you are a man wondering whether marriage and fatherhood are worth it, or a father who is already in it and not sure he is doing it right, this conversation is going to give you something the culture has stopped offering: a reason to say yes. 📚 WORK WITH ME 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=5/7 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=5/7 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=5/7 Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1 Devin Schadt: Link: www.fathersofstjoseph.org https://www.instagram.com/fathersofstjoseph/ https://www.facebook.com/fathersofstjoseph New book: https://sophiainstitute.com/product/the-rule/?srsltid=AfmBOop4QoDaN1IppaIPsTNLWy2PqJ9gaTU00QcJrEFGynRdUgZtSbS1
- May 1, 20261h 5m
Why Nice Guys Finish Last | Marni Kinrys and Adam Lane Smith
Most men today are doing everything they have been told to do to attract a woman. They are being kind, accommodating, agreeable, and endlessly pleasing. And it is working against them every single time. Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Marni Kinrys, dating coach and wing girl to men for over 22 years, for one of the most honest and practical conversations about what women actually feel on a date, why nice guys keep finishing last, and what the science says about why the very thing men think is working is exactly what is destroying their chances. What you will learn in this conversation: 1- Why a woman's attraction can completely reverse within minutes of a first impression and what actually changes it 2- The four S's that create attraction in women and why most men are accidentally hitting zero of them 3- Why a nervous man does not just fail to attract a woman but actively makes her feel unsafe and what her nervous system does as a result 4- Why a woman who soothes a nervous man on a first date has already decided she will never sleep with him 5- Why nice guys are training women to see them as employees instead of leaders and what that costs them in every relationship 6- Why avoidant men are not just born that way and how anxious men are actually creating avoidant women without knowing it 7- What vasopressin bonding is why men can only get it from other men and what happens when they never do 8- Why the CEO and COO model of marriage is the only dynamic that actually makes both people happy 9- What Marni's husband finally understood after she sent him ten Instagram posts that changed everything between them If you are a man who has been working hard to make women happy and wondering why it never seems to work, or a woman who wants to finally understand why the men she loves keep getting it wrong, this conversation will give you both the answer and the path forward. 📚 WORK WITH ME 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/30 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/30 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/30 Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1
- Apr 24, 20261h 45m
Why Christian Men Are So Anxious In Dating | Franco Fernandez & Adam Lane Smith
Most young men today have never had a real conversation about relationships with another man who actually knows what he is talking about. This episode is that conversation. Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Franco Fernandez, a 24 year old Catholic content creator with a large social media following, for one of the most raw and honest coaching sessions the show has ever done. Franco came in thinking he was just anxiously attached. What came out was something much more layered, much more human, and much more relatable than either of them expected. What you will learn in this conversation: 1- Why young men today are trying to reverse engineer something they were never shown from the inside and why that is not their fault 2- How anxious and avoidant tendencies pull in opposite directions at the same time and what that looks like in real dating situations Why performing to make someone like you is the exact thing that prevents real connection from ever forming 4- Why chasing the hardest to get woman is not always confidence and what it might actually be rooted in 5- The difference between a feelings based relationship and a real one and why feelings alone will always leave you in the airport alone 6- Why asking questions with context is the single most powerful tool for building intimacy and how most men never learn to do it 7- What it actually looks like to stop performing and start being a human being with another human being 8- Why the men and women who want the same things keep completely missing each other and what is actually in the way 9- What it means to need proof that people can love you when you are not performing and why almost every young person needs that proof right now If you are a young man trying to figure out how relationships actually work without anyone to show you, this conversation will give you more clarity than years of trying to figure it out alone. 📚 WORK WITH ME 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/23 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/23 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/23 Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1
- Apr 17, 20261h 25m
Inside the Mind of an Avoidant Woman: Dating, Motherhood and Business
Most people ask if avoidant women even exist. They do. And this conversation is one of the most honest and revealing looks at what avoidant attachment actually looks like from the inside of a woman who lives it every day. Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Carly Randall, a self-identified avoidant woman and strategic business partner, for a live coaching session that covers everything from two avoidant partners trying to make a relationship work, to avoidant mothering, to why asking if you would still love me if I was a bug is actually one of the healthiest things an avoidant woman has ever said. What you will learn in this conversation: 1- What avoidant attachment actually looks like in a woman and why men so often mistake it for selfishness 2- Why avoidant women lose respect for anxious partners and what that tells you about what they actually need 3- What happens when two avoidant people get together and why it can actually work with the right systems in place 4- Why the black and white switch of I am all in or I am completely done is one of the most dangerous patterns for avoidant women and what to do about it 5- The difference between taking space to regulate and taking space to dodge and how to tell which one you are doing 6- How avoidant mothering shows up in real life and what the biggest risks are for the children of avoidant parents 7- Why telling your kids mommy needs a break without giving them context is one of the most damaging things you can accidentally do 8- Why an avoidant woman suddenly asking for reassurance is not a sign she is becoming anxious but a sign she is finally becoming secure 9- Why the feeling that you do not want to be a burden is actually rooted in adoption and early abandonment and what it is really asking for If you have ever wondered whether avoidant women are real, what they feel, how they parent, and whether they can actually build a deep loving relationship, this is the episode you have been waiting for. 📚 WORK WITH ME 🫂 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE April 23–26, 2026 | San Diego, California 4 days of real skill-building with people who understand exactly what you're going through. Apply here: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat-new/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/16 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/16 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/16 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/16 Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1
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About I Wish You Knew
Join the duo, Andrey Korikov, and Adam Lane Smith The Attachment Specialist, as they cut through the noise with bold, unfiltered discussions on love, connection, and relationships. From questions about love, psychology, and relationships to discussing the latest shifts in the culture and media, they’ll cover it all. If you’re ready for a podcast that’s as insightful and real as it gets—buckle up and get ready to rethink everything you thought you knew about relationships!
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