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I Wish You Knew: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Adam Lane Smith & Andrey Korikov
Join the duo, Andrey Korikov, and Adam Lane Smith The Attachment Specialist, as they cut through the noise with bold, unfiltered discussions on love, connection, and relationships. From questions about love, psychology, and relationships to discussing the latest shifts in the culture and media, they’ll cover it all. If you’re ready for a podcast that’s as insightful and real as it gets—buckle up and get ready to rethink everything you thought you knew about relationships!
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- 2 days ago1h 10m
The Truth About ADHD VS Attachment Trauma in Relationships | Dr. Steven Storage & Adam Lane Smith
ADHD, attachment, trauma, anxiety, and stress can look surprisingly similar. So how do you know what you’re actually dealing with? Adam Lane Smith sits down with psychiatrist Dr. Steven Storage to unpack what ADHD really looks like, how it affects relationships, what a proper assessment involves, and where medication, sleep, nutrition, movement, and behavioral work fit in. 💬 Ready to work with me? Apply here: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=9/17 📋 Learn your attachment style - take my free quiz: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=9/17 In this episode you will learn: 1 - Why overlapping symptoms make self-diagnosis unreliable, and what curiosity is actually good for 2 - Why a diagnosis explains behavior without excusing it 3 - How growing up with ADHD features can shape attachment, including through a parent with the same wiring 4 - What the condition involves beyond attention: time blindness, impulse control, task initiation, and thought loops 5 - Where the strengths sit, and what happens when hyperfocus lands somewhere other than the relationship 6 - Why the quiet, high-achieving kid is often missed while the disruptive one is caught early 7 - What a thorough assessment includes, and why medication is one tool rather than the whole plan 8 - Practical systems: the five minute rule, the Eisenhower matrix, timed sprints, and breaking distant goals into visible wins 9 - For parents: why yelling works in the moment and costs you later, and what connection over correction looks like 10 - For partners: written lists over spoken ones, clear targets, shared activity, and time-limited conversations Links: IG: https://www.instagram.com/drstevenstorage/ YT: https://www.youtube.com/@dr_steven_storage/shorts Dr. Steven Storage is a doctor at the Amen Clinics in California. He is a diplomate of the Medical Board of California for Physicians and Surgeons and a diplomate in both Child/Adolescent and Adult Psychiatry for the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology. He graduated from the University of California, Berkeley, magna cum laude with a degree in molecular and cell biology and earned his medical degree from the University of California, Los Angeles School of Medicine. Connect with me on your second preferred platform: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro 𝕏: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ 🧵 Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam
- 1 weeks ago1h 3m
The Real Reason Your Husband Is Pulling Away | Laura Doyle & Adam Lane Smith
Trying harder to fix your marriage can leave you exhausted, resentful, and convinced you’re married to a man who doesn’t care. In this episode of I Wish You Knew, Adam Lane Smith sits down with The Surrendered Wife author Laura Doyle to challenge what happens when fear turns into control, why stepping back can give a capable husband room to step forward, and how desire, receptivity, gratitude, and respect can change the dynamic between husband and wife. 💬 Ready to work with me? Apply here: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=9/10 📋 Learn your attachment style - take my free quiz: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=9/10 🎥 Watch my main channel on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg In this episode you will learn: 1- Why overperforming in your marriage can leave you feeling like the only responsible adult 2- What can happen when you stop automatically taking over and give your husband room to contribute 3- Why “he doesn’t care” may not tell the whole story when your husband doesn’t know what would actually make you happy 4- How the phrase “I would love…” communicates a desire without turning it into criticism or a demand 5- Why receiving help, affection, gifts, and care can be difficult for women who are used to handling everything themselves 6- How gratitude can change both the way you see your husband and the way the two of you respond to each other 7- Why respect and a clean apology can restore connection faster than defending or explaining your criticism You don’t have to carry every responsibility, anticipate every problem, and manage your husband into becoming the partner you want. Sometimes changing the marriage starts with making your desires clear, allowing him the opportunity to respond, receiving what he gives, and noticing what happens when you stop treating control as the only thing keeping your life together. Connect with me on your second preferred platform: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro 𝕏: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ 🧵 Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam
- 3 weeks ago54 min
How to Get Out of Your Head and Feel Like Yourself Again | Mark Walsh & Adam Lane Smith
Disembodiment rarely announces itself. It can look like fatigue, unexplained aches, trouble concentrating, or difficulty feeling close to the people around you. In this episode of I Wish You Knew, Adam Lane Smith sits down with embodiment expert Mark Walsh to unpack what happens when we stop listening to the body, and how rebuilding that connection can help you feel more present, connected, and human again. 💬 Ready to work with Adam and his team? Apply here: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/27 📋 Learn your attachment style - take Adam’ free quiz: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/27 👥 Free Secure Attachment Community - 7k+ members: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-free?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/27 🔒 Join the inner circle - get weekly live training from Adam and his Coaching Team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/27 In this episode you will learn: 1- Why the body whispers, then sings, then screams, and what it costs you to keep turning the volume up over it 2- What Mark calls the psychological apocalypse, and why the collapse may have already happened 3- The four connections modernity severed: to the body, to community, to nature, and to a higher power 4- Why treating yourself as a machine is the same habit that lets you treat everyone else as one 5- What co-regulation actually is, and why it’s more than therapy 6- Why chasing pleasure as a cure tends to land people somewhere worse 7- Where to start: one embodied practice you can fall in love with, and how to pick the one that fits what you're missing You don’t need to think your way back into connection. Sometimes the way back to yourself, other people, and the world around you starts with learning to inhabit your own body again. Mark is an expert in embodied learning, emotional intelligence, and practical psychology. His work focuses on helping individuals and organizations improve their performance and well-being through the mind-body connection. He has a fascinating background, with extensive training in martial arts, mindfulness, and various psychological disciplines. Mark has also taught in over 50 countries, including working with the UN and humanitarian projects in war zones. 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro 𝕏 : https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ 🎥 https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam/videos 🧵Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Mark Walsh: 🎥YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Theembodimentchannel 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/warkmalsh/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/embodimentunlimited 🌐 Website: https://embodimentunlimited.com/
- 4 weeks ago42 min
I Respond to My Most UNHINGED Podcast Comments | Adam Lane Smith Reacts
Adam Lane Smith celebrates three years of the I Wish You Knew podcast by reading your wildest comments, answering your most pressing questions, and sharing what he has learned from three years of conversations with guests from every walk of life. In this special episode Adam reflects on the shows that surprised him most, the moments that changed his thinking, and what he believes the future of men and women in relationships actually looks like. No guest. No script. Just Adam, your comments, and three years worth of things he wishes you knew. Looking for more way to learn from Adam? 💬 Ready to transform your attachment? Work directly with me & my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/22iwyk 👉 ADAM'S YOUTUBE LECTURES: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam?sub_confirmation=1 👉 FREE SKILL DEMONSTRATION - Turning Back the Damage: The Live Relationship Repair Session. See what secure communication and real relationship repair look like in action with Colin Safranek and Alyssa Mullen, and register free to watch live on August 26th. https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/skill-demo-registration?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/22iwyk 👉 Watch my latest Masterclass replay to learn The Pattern Breaker Method and the secure repair skills that can help rebuild emotional safety, reduce defensiveness, and create meaningful change https://youtube.com/live/uF5WfsiBVyU 👉 Ready for more? My Secure Circle Plus community has it all - live training sessions, masterclasses, skill demos, and more: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/22iwyk 💬 Ready to transform your attachment? Work directly with me & my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/22iwyk 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ - Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/22iwyk 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/22iwyk Connect with me on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/
- Aug 20, 202656 min
The Real Reason You Feel Like You Don't Matter | John R. Miles & Adam Lane Smith
He was CIO at Dell managing a billion and a half dollar budget. And he could not tell if he was valued more than the piece of furniture he was sitting in. Most people are living with that same feeling without knowing what it is. Adam Lane Smith sits down with John R. Miles, author of The Mattering Effect, to break down why the question “do I even matter?” is driving a global crisis and what it takes to build a life where your presence is felt rather than performed. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why loneliness burnout and depression are not separate problems but symptoms of the same root cause 2- Why mattering is social immunity and what happens when it disappears 3- Why insecure attachment trains people to believe they are only worth what they produce 4- The four stepping stones from internal worth to impact and why most people never get past the first 5- Why belonging and mattering are completely different and why confusing them keeps people stuck 6- What it means to build a life where your presence changes the room 👉 FREE SKILL DEMONSTRATION - Turning Back the Damage: The Live Relationship Repair Session. See what secure communication and real relationship repair look like in action with Colin Safranek and Alyssa Mullen, and register free to watch live on August 26th. https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/skill-demo-registration?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/20 👉 Watch the replay to learn The Pattern Breaker Method and the secure repair skills that can help rebuild emotional safety, reduce defensiveness, and create meaningful change https://youtube.com/live/uF5WfsiBVyU 💬 Ready to transform your attachment? Work directly with me & my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/20 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ - Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/20 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/20 Connect with me on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ John R Miles Socials: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles/ , Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/johnrmiles.c0m , https://x.com/John_RMiles , LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmileshumanperformanceexpert/ ,
- Aug 13, 20261h 8m
What Couples Therapy Gets Wrong About Men | Jeff St. James & Adam Lane Smith
Most women use therapy as a metric for whether a man is ready for marriage. Most couples therapists are operating from a framework that was never designed with men in mind. And one licensed professional clinical counselor has seen enough that he is leaving the field entirely. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Jeff Saint James, licensed professional clinical counselor and men's issues specialist, to break down what modern therapy is getting wrong about men, why couples therapy is failing husbands at an alarming rate, and what women need to understand about the men they love that nobody in the mental health field is telling them. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why therapy as a metric for a healthy man is one of the most misleading filters women are using today 2- Why the couples therapy field is operating from assumptions that actively harm men and what those assumptions are 3- Why paternity fraud is one of the most underreported and destructive forces in modern relationships 4- Why men in survival mode cannot express their needs and what happens to a relationship when that continues for years 5- What masculine leadership actually looks like and why it is not what most women were told to be afraid of 6- Why gratitude and respect do more for a marriage than almost any therapeutic intervention 7- Why men and women are suffering in the same relationships without either one being able to see what the other is carrying If you love a man and want to understand what is actually happening inside him, this is the conversation that will change how you see him. Jeff St. James is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), relationship strategist, and host of the Ask a Brotha podcast. Combining clinical expertise with candid cultural commentary, he helps people build emotionally safe, accountable relationships while tackling modern dating, emotional safety, and family dynamics. 👉 Reserve your spot for this FREE masterclass and learn the conversation and secure repair skills that help you lead change, even when your partner has given up. https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/masterclass-signup?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13 👉 Jeff St. James is a licensed clinical counselor in the process of leaving the therapy field because it keeps allying against the men it was supposed to help. If you want to understand what healthy masculine leadership actually looks like, the FREE Secure Circle is where that conversation keeps going. Join free: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-free?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13 👉 Too much couples therapy puts the man in the villain seat before the work even begins. Secure Circle Plus takes a different approach: coaches hold both partners accountable while teaching the attachment skills that rebuild connection through courses, practicums, and direct Q&A. Upgrade: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13 💬 Ready to transform your attachment? Work directly with me & my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ - Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13 Connect with me on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/
- Aug 6, 20261h 11m
The Science of Why You Cannot Feel Loved | Dr. Sue Carter & Adam Lane Smith
You are genuinely loved. Your partner is loyal. And you still cannot breathe out and relax all the way. That is not a character flaw. It is a biochemical problem. And it has a biochemical answer. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Dr. Sue Carter, the world's leading expert on oxytocin and vasopressin bonding, to break down exactly why some people cannot feel safe even when they are safe, what chronic fear does to the body over a lifetime, and what the science of love hormones actually tells us about how human beings bond, heal, and survive. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why you can be genuinely loved on paper and still be physically unable to feel that safety and what is actually happening in the body when that occurs 2- Why oxytocin is an extraordinary molecule and a terrible drug and what that distinction means for every person buying oxytocin spray 3- Why stress is not inherently bad and why shared challenge is actually one of the most powerful bonding mechanisms available to couples 4- Why the body encodes negative experiences differently than positive ones and what that means for people trying to heal 5- Why fathers who help raise their children live measurably longer and what the research says about sociality and longevity 6- Why novelty and shared experience produce more bonding than sitting on a couch together ever will 7- Why love connection and oxytocin are nature's medicine and why you cannot buy them on the internet If you have ever wondered why safety feels impossible to feel even when it surrounds you, this conversation will give you the science behind what is happening and what can actually change it. 👉 Join my Free Attachment Community - The Secure Circle. You get exclusive lives, videos, access to my team, and more! https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-free?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/6 👉 Ready for more? Upgrade to Secure Circle Plus for the complete attachment program, including courses, live masterclasses, coach-led practicums, workshops, Q&As, a private community, and session archive. Join today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/6 💬 Ready to transform your attachment? Work directly with me & my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/6 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ - Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/6 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/6 Connect with me on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/
- Aug 4, 20261h 11m
What Psychiatry Gets Wrong About Attachment and Mental Health | Dr. Aaron Kheriaty & Adam Lane Smith
Adam Lane Smith sits down with Dr. Aaron Kheriaty, psychiatrist, medical ethicist, and author of Making the Cut, to break down what modern psychiatry is getting catastrophically wrong, why the chemical imbalance model is not just incomplete but actively harmful, and what actually heals people when medications and therapy alone are not enough. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why reducing mental illness to a chemical imbalance in the brain has produced a generation of people who believe they will never get better 2- Why psychiatrists are seeing numbers on a sheet instead of people and what the system that created that looks like from the inside 3- Why physical activity four times a week is as effective as antidepressants for mild to moderate depression and why nobody tells patients that 4- Why relationships are the single strongest predictor of outcomes even in the most severe mental illnesses including schizophrenia 5- Why people in third world countries with schizophrenia often do better than people in industrialized nations and what that reveals 6- Why modern life has become voluntary solitary confinement and why dopamine binges have replaced human connection 7- Why the loneliness epidemic cannot be solved by more therapists and what actually has to happen instead 8- What Dr. Kheriaty would change about American psychiatry if he had absolute power and control If you have ever been handed a prescription and sent home and felt like something essential was being missed, this conversation will show you exactly what that something was. 👉 Start building secure attachment in the FREE Secure Circle. Get access to the community, foundational resources, support from others on the same journey, and weekly insights. Join today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-free?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/30 👉 Upgrade to Secure Circle Plus for weekly masterclasses, skill demonstrations, and guided exercises that move you from learning into doing, plus my best courses, coach Q&As, and a private community. Join Secure Circle Plus today: Join Secure Circle Plus today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/30 💬 Ready to transform your attachment? Work directly with me & my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/30 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ - Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/30 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/30 Aaron Kheriaty, MD, is a physician specializing in psychiatry and author of five books, including most recently, Making the Cut: How to Heal Modern Medicine (2025). He is a Fellow & Director of the Program in Bioethics, Technology, and Human Flourishing at the Ethics and Public Policy Center. He also serves in consulting and advisory roles at the Brownstone Institute, the Zephyr Institute, the Paul Ramsey Institute, and the Simone Weil Center for Political Philosophy. https://x.com/AaronKheriatyMD https://www.aaronkheriaty.com/
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About I Wish You Knew
Join the duo, Andrey Korikov, and Adam Lane Smith The Attachment Specialist, as they cut through the noise with bold, unfiltered discussions on love, connection, and relationships. From questions about love, psychology, and relationships to discussing the latest shifts in the culture and media, they’ll cover it all. If you’re ready for a podcast that’s as insightful and real as it gets—buckle up and get ready to rethink everything you thought you knew about relationships!
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