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by Dean Pohlman
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- 4 days ago54 min
172: Gentle Strength Parenting with Vince Benevento (Boys Will Be Men author & therapist)
There are a lot of ways that fathers get in their own way of being a great parent. Sometimes it wears the mask of "self-improvement." Sometimes it gamifies your presence. And sometimes, it's a desire to overcorrect your parents' mistakes. In many ways, it's much harder to be a father today than ever before too. Gender roles are more fluid than they were in previous generations (but there's still value in distinguishing gender roles). Fathers are forced to feel through their feelings when it comes more naturally to think through them. And balancing the climate of your home, the relationship with your partner, and your responsibilities at work can lead to burnout. That's why I was personally excited for today's follow-up discussion with Boys Will Be Men author and therapist and fellow father, Vince Benevento. Vince answers all my toughest questions around: The Gentle Strength method to become a stronger, and gentler, parent How to be better at accepting yourself as you are today instead of who you'll become after hitting another milestone How to better divvy up the balance of traditional and modern gender roles to best benefit your entire home And more, including… Why modern fathers have unique challenges previous generations didn't have (and how to better balance your responsibilities without burning out) How your tone, anxiety, and sense of urgency seeps into your climate at home even when it originates from work The insidious "Destination Mindset Trap" that stifles your presence when parenting Why men in particular are prone to gamifying being present (and why you might be blinded to how this interrupts presence) The best thing you can do if you have too much free time that will show you why you're more isolated than you acknowledge The real reason workaholics struggle in relationships that precedes working long hours and doing fulfilling work Why new parents have a tendency to overcorrect their parents' mistakes (and why this overcorrection backfires) Why the word "self-improvement" is a sneaky way you hold yourself back 3 characteristics of "Gentle Strength" that make you a better parent in your children's eyes (even after you've drifted apart from your kid) Guest Bio: Vince Benevento is the Director and Founder of Causeway Collaborative, leading and providing direct service for all three specialized teams. A licensed professional counselor, he holds a BA in Psychology from Wesleyan University and an MA in School Counseling from Fairfield University. Vince began his career as an in-home therapist for adolescents and families at the Wheeler Clinic in Plainville, Connecticut, a regional behavioral health services provider. From there, he entered the corporate world, where he worked as a professional recruiter and honed his career-counseling skills. With this valuable experience under his belt, Vince transitioned back to individual and community-based counseling as an employment specialist for the Kennedy Center, one of Connecticut's largest and most highly regarded community organizations. At the Kennedy Center, Vince worked to find meaningful jobs for unemployed adults with psychiatric diagnoses and criminal histories. He joined Freudigman & Billings in 2010 as an educational therapist and completed a year-long internship in the Weston High School guidance department, where he initiated and co-led weekly support groups for at-risk-students. In 2012, Vince brought his skills and experiences together to start Causeway Collaborative. Vince's work experience, whether in the corporate world or in couns
- 1 weeks ago58 min
171: Your Journey Doesn't Have To Be Perfect (Member Interview: Alan S.)
Despite what your mind visualizes when you're thinking about your fitness and health journey, reality is never as picture perfect. You'll have various setbacks that threaten your confidence. You might struggle with mental health issues that ruin your consistency. And you might even go years without progressing towards a healthier, happier, and leaner version of yourself. And you know what? This happens to everyone, including former fitness professionals like today's guest, Man Flow Yoga Member Alan. Alan started his career in the fitness industry as a gym manager and group fitness instructor. But after spending a few years climbing the ranks of the gym and putting his body into what he thought was the best shape its been in, life threw Alan a wicked curveball: He suffered a mini-stroke! You would think that a mini-stroke would force Alan to take his health even more seriously, but it actually caused him to fall off the wagon. Shortly after, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, ADHD, and chronic depression - something he struggled with his entire life, but was only diagnosed with as an adult. Alan didn't let this defeat him. Instead, he realized that a perfect fitness journey didn't exist, and started building his health and fitness back brick-by-brick. He started walking, then rowing, and then in October 2024 his journey took a quantum leap: He joined Man Flow Yoga, which caused a snowball effect to his health and fitness. Today, he's stronger, happier, more resistant, and healthier than at any other point in his life. His story shows you that your fitness journey will be full of peaks and valleys. And that the only way to fail is to give up completely. Here's what Alan and I discuss: How Alan utilized different medications to keep himself grounded when his mental health swayed Why overthinking is the #1 threat to your health journey How to be okay with the ebbs and flows of your health journey (so one mistake or misstep doesn't cancel out years of progress) And more, including… How Alan suffered a TIA (a mini-stroke) when he thought he was at the fittest of his life Why overthinking can sabotage your health journey (even after beating a major health complication) The best type of journaling to try if you have a bipolar disorder diagnosis Think you're "bad" at something? Use the power of "yet" to instantly make progress How to borrow motivational energy from your family when you're too depressed to exercise for yourself Why Man Flow Yoga enabled Alan, a former group fitness coach, to prioritize his health when HIIT, strength training, pilates, walking, and rowing didn't Going through a seismic career change? Alan shares why Man Flow Yoga can help save you from drowning in new stress Why relying on "negative motivation," while it can be helpful when you're starting, becomes a trap that keeps you stuck (and how to transmorph it into positive motivation) The #1 overlooked reason behind why it's easier to be consistent with Man Flow Yoga compared to any other type of fitness modality Resources mentioned in this episode: 1. Man Flow Yoga Events: Alan credits the 2025 DC event as a pivotal step on his journey. If you want to come to a 2026 in-person event, find the full list of cities we're coming to here: https://manflowyoga.com
- 2 weeks ago1h 15m
170: Winning Your Mind Before Stepping Foot in Battle with Mark Divine (Retired Navy SEAL Commander)
If you're not training your mind, then someone else is training it for you. Without your awareness, knowledge, or consent. And you only notice how deeply entrenched your conditioning when shit hits the fan. Mark Divine (retired Navy SEAL Commander, best-selling author, and CEO of SEALFIT and Unbeatable Mind) returns to the Better Man podcast for a beautiful example of showing courageous vulnerability in today's show. Because despite writing five books on mental and emotional health… Despite being a retired Navy SEAL Commander and successfully founding multiple companies… And despite having perhaps the most intense morning routine you'll ever hear about… … shit still hit the fan for Mark, which reminds us that perfection isn't possible and to never get complacent. Mark's one of my favorite guests. And you'll see why when you listen to this show. Here's what Mark and I discuss: Mark's exact 4-hour long morning routine (and the "shit hit the fan" story behind why Mark makes it so intense) How to start a mental strength practice and use it to improve your emotional intelligence and resilience How to bounce back after going through major setbacks without losing yourself And more, including… Why Zen monks break a sweat when they meditate - and easy-to-follow steps for beginners to train your mind to concentrate The "barbell curls for your brain" mindset shift that makes you look forward to meditation (even if you suck at it) How to train your mind like a Navy SEAL (and why you must rewire your brain or someone else will) Why training your mind to become "One Mind" allows you to perceive more than others think possible, to create with almost unlimited potential, and to stay young for as long as you need A simple practicing mistake almost all men make when trying to learn something new How gamifying your goals hijacks your mind and practically forces you to achieve them How to tap into a river of consciousness dating back thousands of years and "borrow" its energy by repeating ancient mantras Why the best way to "rewrite" memories of your past is to create memories of your future An extreme real life example of the imminent danger posed to and others by letting your emotions drive your actions Why doing the work Mark describes in this episode, work that can change your life in ways you can't even imagine right now, won't make you perfect Guest Bio: Dr. Mark Divine|PHD is a retired Navy SEAL Commander, New York Times Best-Selling Author, Founder / CEO of SEALFIT and Unbeatable Mind, founder of multiple million-dollar businesses, lifetime Martial Artist, Ashtanga Yoga teacher, and host of the Unbeatable Mind podcast (recently rated #1 health podcast and #30 overall on itunes). The U.S. Navy selected him to create a nationwide leadership and mental-performance program for the SEALs, designed to help elite teams excel under extreme stress. Resources mentioned in this episode: 1. Find Mark's programs, coaching, books, and podcast on his site here: https://markdivine.com/ 2. Man Flow Yoga Events: We just announced new locations for 2026 in-person events. Find the full list of cities we're coming to here: <a href= "https://manflowyoga.com/man-flow-yoga-events
- 3 weeks ago54 min
How To Radically Change Your Internal Dialogue with Ted Phaëton
Today's guest, Emmy-winning meteorologist turned podcast host and productivity coach, Ted Phaeton, knew something was missing in his life. He had a great career. He got the recognition he craved. But he didn't have true autonomy and freedom and it was eating at him. Ted realized he became too attached to his identity as a meteorologist. Meteorology wasn't his only skill. He's also honed and mastered a productivity system that led to winning an Emmy in meteorology without missing his kid's games. Ted also knew that most men live lives of quiet desperation. He knew there was a male loneliness epidemic sweeping across the country. And he knew the wicked cycle (which comes natural to men) of how loneliness leads to taking on too much which leads to overwhelm and further isolation. Ted wanted to help these men connect with other men like them. And so, he created new identities that he could lean on for wisdom. The result? He started The Modern Man Podcast and became a productivity and time mastery coach. This episode is packed with helpful tips about creating a more fulfilling life, getting more done in less time (so you can spend more time on the important things in life like family), and how to radically change your internal dialogue and get out of your own way. Listen now. Here's what Ted and I discuss: Why removing "discipline" from your vocabulary can make you consistent almost overnight How to "visit" the little version of you to get clearer on your life mission Plus, Ted shares some of his most effective and useful time mastery and productivity hacks And more, including… How to elevate your capacity to hold life and virtually eliminate drowning in overwhelm How to "sit in" multiple identities and pull wisdom from the most relevant one instead of being chained to a single one Why time blocking has been the most effective way for Ted to feel more present (try it if you also struggle to be in the moment) The "Tools of Time" secret that allows you to better bend time to your will How to start time blocking without whiteknuckling your calendar, getting overwhelmed, and quitting before it creates more time in your day How a "Should Detox" frees you from the mental burden of your internal dialogue and creates more time in your day to do the things you want The "Value Connection" trick that rewires your thinking patterns and creates motivation out of thin air by swapping a few words Why reducing friction (instead of beating yourself up with discipline) is a more successful long-term strategy for doing hard things that are easy to skip The "Habit Stack" method that makes building healthier habits so simple that your brain might immediately disregard it (but if you try it, you'll agree) Why the 10,000 hour rule popularized by Malcolm Gladwell has silently crushed more men's spirit and drive than perhaps any other idea Guest Bio: Ted Phaëton is an Emmy Award-winning broadcaster and host of The Modern Man, a top 2% globally ranked podcast dedicated to helping men unlock their full potential. As a performance architect, he specializes in the Ops Audit, helping high-achieving entrepreneurs and leaders implement the Optimized Performance Systems required to master their time and scale their impact. Ted provides
- Apr 3, 202657 min
168: The Story of Jim's Death & Rebirth (Member Interview: Jim A.)
Today's guest, Jim (a Man Flow Yoga Member since 2018), had his life turned completely upside down shortly after he retired. He had a near-fatal heart crisis, technically died, and came back to life. Here's how it happened: Before retirement, he worked an ultra stressful job as a director of global health and safety and crisis management during both Covid and the Russia-Ukraine war. When he was offered early retirement, he took it without blinking. A few months later, he pushed himself too hard doing yard work and ended up hurting his back. This forced him to be sedentary and to pop Ibuprofen like they were candy because they were the only thing that eliminated his pain. Well, it turns out that Jim overdosed on the Ibuprofen he was taking. Something he almost completely ignored and chalked up to fatigue. Fortunately, one day after exiting the shower, he noticed red spots all over his legs - a sign of overdosing on Ibuprofen. In an attempt to dilute the Ibuprofen, he combined water with a hydrator not realizing how much sodium content hydrators contain. And so, his legs and hands started to swell to the size of balloons. Jim still wanted to tough it out and had no desire to go to the ER. But his mother forced him to go. He looked sickly. And that trip saved his life. In the hospital, they found water in his heart and lungs which prompted an immediate open heart surgery. During the surgery there were all sorts of complications and his family was left with a decision: Say their final goodbyes or put Jim on an ECMO machine. They put him on an ECMO machine and saved his life. But his journey wasn't over yet. Part of his recovery was being in a drug-induced coma for 9 days. And then intensive physical therapy afterwards. Anyway, this happened a little over a year ago. Jim still isn't quite 100%, but he also feels better, more fulfilled, and more alive now in his "second life" than he ever felt in his first. Jim's story is an incredible and eye-opening one. Listen now. Here's what Jim and I discuss: Why all men need to know their numbers like the back of their hands. (It can save your life. Seriously.) How Jim went from being doctor-adverse to being one of the best spokesman for men's physical health Life lessons from coming back from death (and why you don't need to wait until a near-fatal experience to make changes that benefit your long-term health) And more, including… How Man Flow Yoga helped save Jim's mental health after being in charge of crises (like covid and the Russia-Ukraine war) as director of global health and safety and crisis management for a global company The blistering decline of health Jim experienced after retirement (first he hurt his back, then became sedentary for months and popped ibuprofen to the point he overdosed, and lastly he suffered a near-fatal heart crisis) Here's what Jim remembers from his heart stopping in the middle of open heart surgery and from being on a 9-day, drug-induced coma How Jim managed his emotions after going from being completely independent to utterly dependent during recovery of his near-fatal heart crisis Why do so many men avoid the doctor? Jim was one of these men who thought he was invincible… here's his advice after almost dying How being courageous and vulnerable with your body can literally save your life How music therapy saved Jim's memory after losing so much oxygen in his brain that his doctors were worried he'd have severe memory deficiencies for the rest of his life
- Mar 27, 20261h 0m
167: Are Humans Herbivores By Design? With Dr. Douglas Graham (Creator of the 80-10-10 Diet)
Human beings are designed for the consumption of fruits and vegetables. That single sentence is what inspired today's guest, Dr. Douglas Graham, to experiment with his diet for decades, which led to his creation of the counterintuitive 80-10-10 Diet. He's sustained this dieting approach for 40 years even though it defies the most common advice from "health experts." And it's also why Dr. Graham doesn't cook his food. This is an eye-opening episode that will challenge your beliefs about health, diet, and longevity. It certainly challenged my beliefs. It is NOT about biohacking (because Dr. Graham doesn't believe in it). It is also NOT about prioritizing protein consumption. Instead, it's about controlling the parameters (substances, forces, influences, and conditions) that create health in the human body. Listen now. Here's what Dr. Graham and I discuss: Are humans herbivores by design? All the evidence suggests that's the case… The truth about eating a raw food diet (and why a cooked food cannot be considered a "whole food") Why you might be eating too much fat and too much protein And more, including… How modern society approaches health in the complete opposite way (instead of focusing on the causes of disease, it's often more helpful to focus on the causes of health) Here are 2 reasons why you don't feel better after seeing a chiropractor straight from a retired chiropractor himself Why your body responds to all types of trauma -- physical, chemical, or emotional -- in the same exact way (and what this insight means for recovering from trauma) Why most of trauma the average person has today comes from chemical trauma (NOT emotional or physical though those types can happen) A scientific reality that explains why cooked food can lead to disease How Dr. Graham's strict raw fruit and veggie diet made his endurance go through the roof, gave him pristine mental clarity, significantly increased his recall, allowed him to cut his sleep by 25% without any negative effects, and even made him more compassionate The "80-10-10 Diet" popularized by Dr. Graham after experimenting with all sorts of diets (many of which you've probably never even heard of) for a decade How reducing the fat intake of type 2 diabetics caused 100% of Dr. Graham's patients to get 100% off insulin in under 72 hours The "20-80" rule for figuring out which fats your body finds healthy and useful and which ones it finds unhealthy and unuseful Are high-fat and high-protein diets actually bad for human health? Dr. Graham weighs in with his surprising answer at Why cooked foods cannot be considered "whole foods" according to Dr. Graham (and backed by science) Guest Bio: Dr. Douglas Graham is a lifelong athlete, raw-food pioneer, and the creator of The 80/10/10 Diet—the nutritional gold standard for those seeking peak biological performance. A true "living blueprint" for his own teachings, Dr. Graham is the current two-time British Powerlifting Champion and World Champion in Squat, proving that elite strength and fruit-based nutrition go hand in hand. For over 40 years, he has served as a high-level advisor to world-class performers, including tennis legend Martina Navratilova, NBA pros, and Olympic sprinters. He is the author of numerous definiti
- Mar 20, 202652 min
166: Surviving in the Face of Trauma with Vince Benevento (Boys Will Be Men author & therapist)
Today's guest, Boys Will Be Men author and therapist, Vince Benevento has spent decades of his life helping men battle their own demons and heal their internal environments. Vince was originally attracted to men's mental health after facing his own share of demons in his 20s. But he never imagined how much he'd need to lean on his decades of experience when his life was uprooted in the face of an unspeakable trauma… One day, out of absolutely nowhere, one of his sons developed an unexpected rash that suddenly turned into life-threatening illness. His son spent 135 days in the hospital. Went through multiple surgeries. And at one point, he had a sub 10% chance of surviving. Vince and his wife spent every second in that hospital with their son as he fought to survive. And despite being a therapist, an experience as traumatic (and random) as this caused a swelling of big, heavy emotions. Vince admits that he didn't handle those 135 days in the hospital in the best way. But his son survived. Vince changed as a result. And he gives some pointers on how he would act today if he was thrown into a similar situation, which you'll find instantly applicable to any traumatic event that happens in your life. Today's show is a masterclass in courageous vulnerability. And you'll learn a lot about how to soothe your own internal environment too. Listen now. Here's what Vince and I discuss: How men can have more meaningful and vulnerable conversations with each other The one area I'm personally stuck at in my healing journey (and why so many men get stuck at this point) And, of course, Vince shares the story about how he handled his son's life-threatening illness And more, including… How conventional dialogue between men chokes out your emotions and your ability to connect meaningfully with other guys How to heal yourself so when your childhood wounds get poked you don't revert back into your old patterns or search for external support The counterintuitive way the traits you pride yourself on are the very things that box you in an emotional wall The "Do, Not Be" trap that guys are particularly vulnerable to that causes you to replace your emotional fulfillment with meaningless achievements Why success blows up so many marriages and relationships fathers have with their kids How Vince handled one of the most traumatic experiences a parent have (and how he would handle it differently today): his son ended up with a life-threatening illness out of nowhere, spent 135 days in the hospital, and at one point had a sub 10% chance to survive Why surrendering to deeply traumatic experiences, as wrong as it may sound, gives you the deepest sense of freedom, peace, and relief Guest Bio: Vince Benevento is the Director and Founder of Causeway Collaborative, leading and providing direct service for all three specialized teams. A licensed professional counselor, he holds a BA in Psychology from Wesleyan University and an MA in School Counseling from Fairfield University. Vince began his career as an in-home therapist for adolescents and families at the Wheeler Clinic in Plainville, Connecticut, a regional behavioral health services provider. From there, he entered the corporate world, where he worked as a professional recruiter and honed his career-counseling skills. With this valuable experience under his belt, Vince transitioned back to individual and community-based counseling as an employment specialist for the Kennedy Center, one of Connecticut's largest and most highly regarded community organizations. At the Kennedy Center, Vince worked to find meaningful jobs for unemployed adults with psychiatr
- Mar 13, 20261h 5m
165: Remembering Who You Are with Mark Divine (Retired Navy SEAL Commander)
Everyone lives in a world of their own creation through their conditioning, their thought patterns, and their behaviors. The problem is, this route leads to pain because it severs the connection with your true identity. When you're disconnected from your true identity, and you forget to remember who you are, you'll wake up one day and realize you're living a complete lie. Instead of creating a life that makes you happy and fulfilled, you trade your future for someone else's opinion of you. Today's guest, retired Navy SEAL Commander Mark Divine, was lucky enough to discover this early in his life thanks to his meditation practice. His conditioning told him that he was going to business school to join the family business. But a few months after getting his MBA and CPA, Mark decided to give it all up to become a Navy SEAL because his meditation practice created enough stillness that he remembered he was a warrior. Despite being a "civilian" (who have terribly low success rates of becoming a SEAL - only about 10 to 15% make it), Mark's meditation practice allowed him to reconstruct his identity and become the #1 student in SEAL training. As Navy SEAL Commander, Mark introduced other SEALs to meditation, yoga, and fully integrating the body, mind, and spirit. Since he's retired, his Navy SEAL training program (called SEALFIT) has had incredible success. Mark's students who went through his SEALFIT program had a 90% success rate of joining the SEALs (which is even more impressive when you realize the failure rate is between 85-90%). He's also authored several best-selling books that are designed to help anyone rediscover their true identity. This conversation won't just open your eyes, but it will be deeply inspiring too. Listen now. Here's what Mark and I discuss: How to start meditating and the reason why so many people fail at it Why remembering who you truly are helps you stumble on your true identity How integrating all your training can greatly accelerate your journey to self-awareness And more, including… How your mind gets conditioned (by your parents, society, schooling, and more) from the very second you open your eyes in this world This book can reframe spirituality for you (without any religious overtones) and make it easier for you to tap into "Zen" How to become still enough to hear your soul's whispers and discover your true calling The #1 source of angst among men in the world (and the trick Mark used to avoid living a life of quiet desperation) 3 things you must do to break through separation and tune into "Unity Consciousness" that turns the universe into your silent partner Why the "descriptive-prescriptive fallacy" makes meditation impossible (and a simple mindset shift that makes mediating as simple as riding a bike) How to change the very nature of what you believe to be true about yourself The incredible story about how Mark used meditation to change his identity, join the Navy SEALs off the street, and become the #1 student in his SEAL training Why figuring out how to navigate "VUCA" is like becoming Neo in the Matrix (in fact, according to Mark, this is what SEAL training is all about) How training to be softer, more flexible, and more durable is the ultimate "strength training" for men Guest Bio: Dr. Mark Divine|PHD is a retired Navy SEAL Commander, New York Times B
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About The Better Man Podcast
The Better Man Podcast is a podcast redefining what it means to be better as a man. In it, we'll discuss how to balance success with our overall well-being, take on a more comprehensive understanding of fitness to include our physical, mental, and emotional well-being, and strive to align our actions with who we are at our cores. We can be successful and proud of who we are without sacrificing our core values or our well-being.Dean Pohlman is known as THE yoga expert for men. His unique fitness-centric, strength-based approach to yoga—exemplified in his yoga workouts, programs, books, videos, blogs, and more—has helped to transform the lives of hundreds of thousands of men [and women] worldwide.Join Dean as he explores the habits, mindsets, tools, and tactics that lead to health, happiness, and fulfillment for men. You'll hear interviews with world-class experts who pull back the curtain and share their proven strategies for taking your body and mind to the next level.More signif
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