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The Art of Manliness: Daily Summaries Delivered
by The Art of Manliness
The Art of Manliness Podcast aims to deepen and improve every area of a man's life, from fitness and philosophy, to relationships and productivity. Engaging and edifying interviews with some of the world's most interesting doers and thinkers drop the fluff and filler to glean guests' very best, potentially life-changing, insights.
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- 4 days ago49 min
Go Ahead and Feel Envious (It Can Be a Positive Force)
Envy is a universal human emotion, but it's one we don't like to admit we feel. When a friend gets a promotion, a neighbor buys a bigger house, or someone you follow on social media seems to be living a better life than you, you might feel a pang of envy. And then you probably feel bad about feeling envious.But what if envy isn't necessarily a bad thing? What if, instead of trying to suppress it, you could use it to build a better life?My guest today says that's entirely possible. Her name is Dr. Stacy Kim, and she's a social scientist, a coach who works with high achievers, and the author of Envy: Why Wanting What They Have Is the Key to Getting What You Want.Today on the show, Stacy explains the difference between benign and malicious envy, how envy can reveal what we really want out of life, and how envy is experienced and expressed differently in the U.S. versus Korea, where Stacy was born. We also discuss why you can't simply stop comparing yourself to others, how to turn envy into motivation and meaningful action, and how this uncomfortable emotion can actually help you build stronger relationships with others.After the show is over, check out the show notes at aom.is/goodenvyRelatedAoM Podcast #949: Unpacking The Emotion No One Likes to Talk AboutAoM Article: An Intro on EnvyAoM Article: Envy, Ressentiment, and the Inversion of ValuesAoM Article: The Insidious Disguises of EnvyConnect With Stacy KimStacy's website0:00 Introduction1:43 What Kickstarted the Envy Project4:28 Defining Envy: Benign vs. Malicious11:08 Envy vs. Jealousy vs. Admiration13:54 The SIREN Framework for Exploring Envy19:17 Envy in Korea vs. America24:50 Collective Envy: Nations & Groups27:59 Why You Can't Stop Feeling Envy31:45 Discovering What You Really Want39:59 Learning From Those You Envy46:25 Turning Envy Into Service48:29 Where to Find More & ClosingSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
- 1 weeks ago51 min
Treat Your To-Do List Like a River, and Other Mindset Shifts for Making Better Use of Your Time
Note: This is a rebroadcast.When people think about living more fully and making better use of their time, they typically think of finding some new organizational system they can structure their lives with.Oliver Burkeman says that what you really need instead are perspective shifts — small, sustainable changes in how you view and approach your day-to-day life. He provides those mindset shifts in his new book, Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts. And we talk about some of them today on the show, including why you should view life’s tasks and problems like a river instead of a bucket, stop feeling guilt over your “productivity debt,” make peace with your decisions by embracing an unconventional reading of the poem “The Road Not Taken,” aim to do your habits “dailyish,” be more welcoming of interruptions, and practice “scruffy hospitality.”Resources Related to the PodcastOliver‘s previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #748 — Time Management for MortalsAoM Article: Autofocus — The Productivity System That Treats Your To-Do List Like a RiverAoM Podcast #956: Feeling Depressed and Discombobulated? Social Acceleration May Be to BlameSunday Firesides: To-Dos, the Rent We Pay For LivingAoM Podcast #962: The Case for Minding Your Own BusinessAoM Podcast #821: Routines Are OverratedAoM Article: Routines Not Working For You? Try a Daily ChecklistSunday Firesides: Life Is for LivingResonance: A Sociology of Our Relationship to the World by Hartmut Rosa“The Road Not Taken” by Robert FrostThe Road Not Taken: Finding America in the Poem Everyone Loves and Almost Everyone Gets Wrong by David Orr“The Road Less Traveled” — great, short podcast on the alternate interpretation of Frost’s poemConnect With Oliver BurkemanOliver‘s website:00 Introduction0:23 Welcome & Book Overview1:45 Continuation of Four Thousand Weeks3:40 Why Productivity Makes Us Feel Dead Inside9:04 The Efficiency Trap11:09 Productivity Debt14:56 Treat Your Reading List Like a River18:58 Your To-Do List Is a Menu, Not a Bucket23:47 Accepting You'll Always Have Problems27:43 The Pressure to Solve the World's Problems34:05 Making Decisions & "The Road Not Taken"37:32 Daily-ish Habits, Interruptions & Scruffy HospitalitySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
- 2 weeks ago55 min
The New Dark Ages — The Death of Reading and the Dawn of the Post-Literate Society
You can't help but notice, in yourself and in others, how much less people are reading these days. When it comes to content consumption, we're often replacing articles and books with videos and, well, podcasts.My guest says that this shift is having consequences, not only for our shrinking individual attention spans, but for society, and Western civilization writ large. His name is James Marriott, and he's a columnist at The Times of London and the author of The New Dark Ages: The Death of Reading and the Dawn of the Post-Literate Society. Today on the show, James explains how people thought and interacted before the rise of reading and writing, how literacy changed our minds and made possible everything from democracy to modern science, and how television and smartphones may be returning us in some ways to a preliterate age. We then explore how our increasingly visual culture is making public debate more emotional and influence more personality-driven, and what it might mean for the future.After the show is over, check out the show notes at aom.is/darkagesResources Related to the ShowThe Intellectual Life of the British Working Classes by Jonathan RoseAoM Article: The Medium Is the MessageDying Breed Article: The Four Ages of Communication: How Changing Media Transforms the Human ExperienceOrality and Literacy by Walter OngAmusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business by Neil PostmanConnect With James MarriottJames' Substack: Cultural Capital0:00 Introduction0:39 The Decline of Reading5:14 The Golden Age of Mass Literacy8:24 How Literacy Changed the Mind12:06 The Preliterate Mind14:51 Truth and Conflict in Oral Culture19:18 How Literacy Built Civilization21:34 The Gutenberg Press & the Reading Revolution30:45 Television and the Decline of Reading33:16 Amusing Ourselves to Death42:03 The Smartphone & the Post-Literate World50:50 The Future of ReadingSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
- 3 weeks ago41 min
The Lost Art of Mingling: How to Talk to Anyone, Anywhere
It's always been intimidating to enter a room where you don't know everyone, or anyone, and to initiate conversation with people at a wedding, holiday party, or work event. But it's never felt more potentially awkward and anxiety-generating than in an age dominated by screen-mediated interactions, when we don't get much practice in mixing at social events and making small talk in real life.Here to help us get a lot more confident and comfortable in this area is Jeanne Martinet, author of The Art of Mingling, which is out in a newly updated edition. Jeanne last joined me on the podcast nearly a decade ago, and today she's back to share why the ability to mingle is more important than ever and how to get better at it.We discuss why small talk is more valuable than you might think, and can not only lead to finding a potential romantic partner or lifelong friend, but is something worth doing for its own sake. Jeanne then shares practical tips you can put to use at your next social gathering or simply when you're out and about. She explains how to identify people who are open to conversation, four ways to break the ice with them, as well as an opening line to avoid, how to keep a conversation going, how to gracefully extract yourself from an interaction that's gone on too long, how to recover from putting your foot in your mouth, and more. We end our conversation with how to find more opportunities to socialize and practice your mingling skills.After the show is over, check out the show notes aom.is/artofminglingRelatedAoM Article: The Importance of Developing and Maintaining Your Social FitnessAoM Article: How to Make Small TalkAoM Podcast #502: Why You Should Talk to StrangersAoM Article: How to Follow Up After Meeting Someone in PersonAoM Article: How to Break Away From Someone at a PartyAoM Podcast #874: Throw a 2-Hour Cocktail Party That Can Change Your LifeAoM article on having a host mindsetConnect With Jeanne MartinetJeanne's websiteJeanne on LinkedInJeanne on IGJeanne on X0:00 – Introduction1:19 – Why a New Edition of The Art of Mingling5:23 – What Is Mingling and Why It Matters7:14 – The Value of Small Talk11:10 – What Holds People Back from Mingling12:43 – How to Spot Someone Open to Conversation16:17 – The Thin Room, Wingmen & Arriving with a Partner19:14 – Four Ways to Break the Ice23:21 – Keeping the Conversation Going26:41 – Navigating Politics and Sensitive Topics28:56 – How to Gracefully Exit a Conversation33:54 – Mingling Anywhere & Finding Opportunities to SocializeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
- Oct 13, 202639 min
Brandon Flowers, Frontman of the Killers, on Family, Faith, and Becoming a Thrasher
If you’ve been following the Art of Manliness for a while, you know that I typically interview the authors of books on this podcast. But,if you’ve been following the Art of Manliness for a while, you’ll know why I had to make an exception for today’s guest.Brandon Flowers is my very favorite musical artist. He is the frontman for the multi-platinum-record-earning band The Killers and has also put out three solo albums.I recently had the chance to talk to Brandon backstage before one of his shows in Las Vegas. My wife Kate, as well as a couple of friends, were also on hand, and you’ll hear me allude to them a couple times during the interview.Brandon and I had a great conversation. We discuss his third and latest solo album, Thrasher and why he went country-western on it, what his dad taught him about what makes a good man, what he’s currently reading (hint: it involves the author of my all-time favorite novel), his top five favorite country songs, the influence of faith in his life and music, what’s on his mind in midlife, and how he balances work and family.Resources Related to the PodcastThrasher on iTunes, Spotify, and YouTubeFlamingo on iTunes, Spotify, and YouTubePressure Machine on iTunes, Spotify, and YouTubeImploding the Mirage on iTunes, Spotify, and YouTubeWinesburg, Ohio by Sherwood AndersonThe Pastures of Heaven by John SteinbeckAoM Podcast #824: Lonesome Dove and Life’s Journey Through UncertaintyAoM Podcast #1,104: Ecclesiastes on Enjoying Our Weirdly Unsatisfying LivesMama Baskets at CostcoCome Follow Me LDS scripture study program“My Lord, What a Morning”Take the Simple Test That Can Predict Your MortalityBrandon’s favorite country songs:“Don’t Close Your Eyes” by Keith Whitley“The Winner” by Kris Kristofferson“Silver Stallion” by The Highwaymen“A Lot of Things Different” by John Conlee<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?
- Oct 6, 202653 min
Silence, Solitude, Stillness: The Spiritual Disciplines We Need in a Noisy World
We live in a world of pervasive noise. Even when we're alone and our surroundings are quiet, our devices bombard us with an endless stream of inputs — messages, news, opinions, entertainment — and we feel constantly connected.My guest argues that this lack of both silence and solitude isn't just generating stress and fragmenting our attention, but doing real damage to our souls. His name is John Mark Comer, and he’s a pastor and the author of Into the Quiet. Today on the show, we discuss what noise is doing to the deepest parts of us and how engaging in silence and solitude can help us cultivate inner stillness. We explore the monastic tradition behind these spiritual disciplines, why engaging in them can sometimes feel like a negative experience, and what happens when all our usual distractions disappear. We also get into simple ways to bring more quiet into everyday life.After the show’s over, check out the show notes at aom.is/silence.Resources Related to the PodcastGet the Book: Into the QuietJohn Mark's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #1,013 — Practicing Spiritual Disciplines as an Act of ResistanceJohn Mark's Previous Book: Practicing the WayAoM Article: The Spiritual Disciplines — Solitude and SilenceClear Creek Abbey in OKNew Camaldoli Hermitage in Big SurA Time to Keep Silence by Patrick Leigh FermorConnect With John Mark ComerJohn Mark's website0:00 Introduction1:33 What Prompted "Into the Quiet"5:42 Soundless Noise in the Digital Age7:39 What Noise Does to Our Souls11:02 Loneliness vs. Solitude13:57 Cultivating Inner Stillness19:02 The Eremos: Jesus' Practice of Solitude23:58 The Desert Fathers & Monastic Tradition29:06 What Happens in the Silence39:17 Confronting Inner Demons in Solitude47:36 Practical Ways to Practice Silence & Solitude51:47 OutroSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
- Sep 29, 202652 min
Why Modern Convenience Feels So Inconvenient
Modern life is filled with conveniences designed to make things easier. We can order dinner without leaving the couch, check ourselves out at the grocery store, communicate instantly with anyone, and stream nearly every movie and song ever made.So why do we often feel busier, more stressed, and more, well, inconvenienced than ever?My guest today argues that many supposed advancements don’t actually save us time, money, or energy — and that even when they do, they can eliminate forms of friction that made life richer, more enjoyable, and more human.His name is Gabe Bullard, and he’s the author of Against Convenience. Today on the show, Gabe and I discuss how self-checkout, mobile ordering, digital communication, streaming services, food delivery, and even smartphone cameras can paradoxically make life more annoying and less satisfying. Gabe also shares questions to ask yourself to decide which conveniences are worth keeping, and why deliberately adding a little friction back into your life can sometimes make it better.0:00 Introduction1:45 Why Convenience Isn't Working4:22 Self-Checkout & Starbucks App Failures11:29 The Illusion of Technological Progress17:28 Phones as a Single Point of Failure18:20 How Digital Communication Hurts Relationships23:49 Dating Apps & Making Friends27:15 Smartphone Cameras & the Value of Photos32:41 Streaming & Entertainment Disappointment40:10 Food Delivery Problems46:30 Wendell Berry's Questions for New Tech50:12 Practical Tips for Embracing FrictionSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
- Sep 22, 202654 min
The One-Skill-a-Year Plan for a More Interesting Life
We all have things we’ve always wanted to know how to do, but have never gotten around to learning. Speak a foreign language. Play an instrument. Write a book. Take up surfing. Maybe you’ve even started one of these pursuits a few times, only to drop it after a couple of weeks.My guest calls this collection of abandoned or deferred desires your “invisible list” and is the author of a book of the same name.Today on the show, Ravi Gupta presents a plan for tackling the things on your invisible list by picking one hobby-like activity each year and working your way to an intermediate level in it. He explains the different categories these pursuits can fall into, from the liftoff project to the mental marathon to the skillbatical, and how to pick the right one for your season of life. We also discuss how camps for grownups can make skill acquisition more enjoyable, why you should consider taking up an adult-appropriate sport like tennis, why Ravi decided to take the MCAT even though he doesn't plan to become a doctor, and how working on your invisible list can give your life chapters and, over the course of a decade, turn you into a Renaissance-man badass.After the show is over, check out the show notes at aom.is/invisiblelist0:00 — Introduction1:45 — What is the Invisible List?4:38 — Examples & Bucket List Comparison8:46 — Why a Year Creates Life Chapters11:10 — Making Time: Family & Constraints15:44 — Five Rules of the Invisible List18:39 — Why Aim for Intermediate?21:19 — The Five Archetypes26:50 — Liftoff Year: Powerlifting & Journaling37:30 — Skill-Batical: Surfing & Adult Camps43:17 — Age-Appropriate Sports: Tennis45:46 — Mental Marathon: Taking the MCATSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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About The Art of Manliness
The Art of Manliness Podcast aims to deepen and improve every area of a man's life, from fitness and philosophy, to relationships and productivity. Engaging and edifying interviews with some of the world's most interesting doers and thinkers drop the fluff and filler to glean guests' very best, potentially life-changing, insights.
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