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Do You F*cking Mind?: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa - Neuroscientist and Mindset Coach
Mindset hacks for a badass life, hosted by cognitive neuroscientist Alexis Fernandez. On Mondays my episodes are a combo of neuroscience and psychology. I deep dive into everything from habit formation and how to live a carefree life, to friendships and heartbreak. And on Fridays we've got Head Noise - where I answer your questions!
Latest Episodes
The most recent episodes — sign up to get AI-powered summaries of each one.
- Yesterday30 min
Can You Truly Love Someone and Still Cheat? (+ More Listener Questions)
Can you truly love someone and still cheat? Honest advice on infidelity, setting boundaries with a mother-in-law and why a best friend might ghost you.Key takeaways Can you truly love someone and still cheat on them? My honest take on whether love and infidelity can exist together, and what that says about the kind of love you’re offering. Do you want your ex back, or just their forgiveness? Learn how guilt, insecurity and the need for validation can feel like love after a breakup, and how to tell the difference. The two questions every healthy relationship depends on. Discover a simple test for whether your relationship is built to last, and why I believes good relationships shouldn’t feel hard. How to handle an overbearing mother-in-law. Find out who’s really responsible for setting boundaries with a clingy in-law, and the one conversation that will show you whether things can change. Why do people ghost their friends when they’re depressed? Understand what might be behind a friend’s silence, what to make of their social media activity, and how to find closure when someone you love goes quiet. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
- 4 days ago36 min
The Neuroscience of wasted time | What are you feeding your Brain?
**How to Feed Your Brain for a Happier, Healthier You** In today's world, it's easy to get caught up in the habit of mindless scrolling and doom scrolling, but what if you could turn those "dead" moments into something more enriching? In this episode I go into the importance of consuming a balanced diet of information, including education, entertainment, and comfort. Our brains are wired to respond to stories and how this can be a powerful tool for retaining information and making it more enjoyable. This ep will teach your how to turn "dead time" into something more productive where you feel more fulfilled at the end of the day. Thank you so much to the episode sponsor Audible for working together with me to bring you this piece. (and for providing me with my favourite audio books) See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
- 1 weeks ago34 min
Should I Stay or Should I Make the Move? | Life advice
Struggling to decide between staying home or moving overseas? In this ep I give you 9 questions to ask yourself to get the clarity you need. Then I answer 3 listener questions. Key themes covered are indecision after moving, what changing locations does to personal growth and how to plan ahead for the difficult times that moving can bring. Takeaways - Are you after adventure or permanent change? A year abroad for adventure means saying yes to everything, not settling into a dull nine-to-five. A move for permanent change comes from dissatisfaction, so be clear about which one it is. If money is what’s holding you back, booking a non-refundable flight can turn a dream into a plan. Are you running away or chasing something? You take yourself with you wherever you go. Moving fixes problems with your town or city, but not your habits or motivation. A sunny city won’t make you a morning person. A new place is a strong fresh start, but only if you do the work. Plan for everyday life, not the holiday version. Think about what a normal Monday will look like, how you cope with being alone, and whether you can afford to come home if things go wrong. Then ask which you’d regret more in five years: going or staying. Loneliness after emigrating keeps your brain in survival mode. Long stretches without safety or belonging keep the brain in a stressed, reactive state, which wears down confidence and self-esteem. The main fix is building a sense of belonging. That can start small: run clubs, volunteering, learning your barista’s name, getting to know your neighbours. Being alone abroad isn’t a failure, and moving for love needs a fair plan. Travelling solo builds self-trust and resilience, even when it doesn’t feel that way. If you keep moving for a partner’s career, talk honestly about a long-term plan before the sacrifices turn into resentment.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
- 1 weeks ago37 min
The Psychology of Where You Live | The Ten Minute Radius And Why it Matters
What you can walk to shapes your mental health. Having shops, cafés and friends within a 10-minute walk means you leave home more often and have more small interactions. Long drives make you batch your errands into one trip, which is more isolating. Other Takeaways Living close to friends makes you happier because it allows spontaneous catch-ups. Living nearby turns a quick text into a coffee or a dog walk together. A 40-minute drive means every catch-up has to be planned, so you see good friends far less often. Chrono-urbanism: time-based living lowers chronic stress. This urban planning idea measures a place by how quickly you can reach what you need. Short trips and good public transport cut the daily stress of traffic, parking and long drives. The “big house, small life” problem: more space can mean less connection. Many families move further out for a yard and extra rooms, then end up feeling isolated. Choosing location over space often makes for a bigger social life. Social connection protects your health, and small interactions count. Research comparing the health impact of loneliness to smoking about 15 cigarettes a day. Chatting with neighbours and strangers builds a sense of belonging, which supports mental health, immunity and healthy years of life.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
- 2 weeks ago40 min
Finding Your Authentic Self: Stop People-Pleasing & Close the Gap Between Who You Are and Who You “Should” Be (E)
Feeling lost, stuck people-pleasing, or like you’re living the 'wrong' version of your life? In this encore episode, I break down what your authentic self really means, the psychology of self-conflict and self-discrepancy theory, and how living authentically boosts your self-esteem, confidence and resilience. Too much choice can leave you paralysed, and the pressure to please family, friends and society can pull you far from who you really are. This episode gives you practical mindset tools and journal prompts to reconnect with your true self. Top takeaways: What your authentic self is: knowing your values, morals and what you actually want, and why it keeps evolving The freedom test: a simple exercise that shows whether you’re living on your own terms Self-conflict vs self-inconsistency: why abandoning yourself to please others destroys fulfilment Self-discrepancy theory: your actual self, ideal self and “ought” self, and how the gap between them creates anxiety Real vs false responsibilities: how to stop carrying other people’s expectations The research: how authenticity is linked to resilience, trauma recovery, self-esteem and lower stress, anxiety and depression Your job is not your identity: why you don’t need to find your passion in your career Signs of an authentic person: no comparison, no competing for validation, and being able to laugh at mistakes Journal prompts: questions to audit where you’re people-pleasing, fitting in or being inconsistent Dealing with judgement: how to respond when people comment on the new you See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
- 2 weeks ago51 min
Fear of the Irreversible Decision: Why Committing Helps You
Is fear keeping your life small? Learn the difference between good and bad fear, how to stop spiralling, and why irreversible decisions make you happier.Key takeaways Good fear versus bad fear: short-term stress can improve performance. Fear, anxiety and excitement use similar brain circuitry and feel similar in the body. So you can reframe nerves as excitement, or burn off anxious energy with quick exercise. Fear becomes harmful when it’s chronic and stops you from acting. Fears grow bigger because the brain rewrites memories each time you recall them. Each time you revisit a fear, you add emotion and context to the memory. Big life changes, like becoming a parent, can also make old fears feel bigger. Name the fear to stop the spiral. Spiralling happens when anxious thoughts keep pulling in similar thoughts. Naming the feeling, ideally out loud, pinpointing its cause and offering yourself a more neutral counter-thought brings your prefrontal cortex back online. Fear of being alone, disappointing your parents or being judged often keeps you stuck. Learning to enjoy your own company makes you less controlling in relationships. Your parents’ disappointment is often about the story they imagined for you, not about you. People will talk when you change, but they’ll move on quickly. Irreversible decisions often make people happier. In the study I describe, people who couldn’t change their choice of photo print were more satisfied than those who could swap. Committing helps you go all in. Useful anchors include a non-refundable flight or a paid deposit. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
- 3 weeks ago34 min
Life Advice | I caught my husband on Grindr & How to overcome FOMO and doubt in your 20s
Bonjour and welcome to your head noise episode! Today I am covering 3 questions. From overcoming the doubt that arrises in your 20s and fear of not doing enough, to dealing with pain and anxiety from past experiences and how to not relive that same pain in the future, and lastly, a listeners husband who has cheated on her on grindr. If you would like to submit your questions, email info@dyfmpod.com or go to www.dyfmpod.com to submit you voice note! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
- 3 weeks ago42 min
The Neuroscience of Success | How to Harness Brain Regions For Success
What if success isn't about trying harder, but about working with your brain instead of against it? In this episode, I dig into the neuroscience of success: how your brain sets goals, gets you motivated and turns effort into progress. I share what's helped me build a growth mindset, beat procrastination and stay disciplined when motivation fades. I cover: Defining success on your own terms, and why intrinsic motivation beats external pressure Which brain regions are directly involved in success and how to increase functional connectivity between them. How Dopamine is involved in goal setting and will power and how to get more of it. How HIIT and other activities can strengthen connections between brain regions Breaking big goals into small, doable steps, and focusing on the process rather than the outcome Automating habits to free up mental space for creativity and better decisions Self-care, stress management and building a "happy mind, happy grind" life If you're ready to reach your goals without burning out, this one's for you. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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About Do You F*cking Mind?
Mindset hacks for a badass life, hosted by cognitive neuroscientist Alexis Fernandez. On Mondays my episodes are a combo of neuroscience and psychology. I deep dive into everything from habit formation and how to live a carefree life, to friendships and heartbreak. And on Fridays we've got Head Noise - where I answer your questions!
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