Free Daily Podcast Summary
Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Melanie Curtin
Advice for smart men on how to succeed with women in sex, dating, relationships, and marriages. Beautiful women give you a peek behind the curtain into what the feminine really craves from the masculine ... and how to give it to us. Personal growth is sexy, haven't you heard?
Latest Episodes
The most recent episodes — sign up to get AI-powered summaries of each one.
- 4 days ago48 min
417: Top 3 ways to NOT come off as creepy (ft. Jason Lange)
A 2022 dating survey showed that a whopping 69% of American men say that fear of being labeled "creepy" impacts how they interact with women. And 44% said it diminishes how much they interact with women at all, romantically or otherwise. In other words, the fear of being creepy can hold you back from all connection with women, not just in the realm of dating/relationships.But let's talk about sex and dating for a moment. The cruel irony is that this kind of fear usually means you've got a good heart — but left unchecked, it can make you shrink, go invisible, and tuck your sexuality away entirely ... which kills polarity.Here, Jason and I count down the top 3 ways to make sure you're NOT coming off as creepy. We get practical as well as emotional. I share the "library story" I still think about; Jason gets honest about the years he spent frozen and numb — and we get into why whoever is breathing more deeply in the room ... is holding alpha.We also share the simple thing you can say out loud that turns an awkward, high-stakes context with a woman into one where she actually feels safe enough to say yes — including the exact line that helped one man ask out a longtime friend and land in the healthiest relationship either of them had ever had.plus a breakthrough that took one client from scared-and-small to making out outside a restaurant with a woman he thought was "out of his league" — plus the married man who finally said six words to his wife he'd never dared say in their whole marriage, and how she responded.Whether you've frozen, over-corrected, or held your fire because you were terrified of being "that guy" — single or married — this one's for you. You can move beyond creepy and reclaim this part of yourself ... and everyone benefits when you do.—Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I will help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)—Memorable quotes from this episode:"'Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.'""There's an inverse relationship between safety and creepy.""Head evokes head, heart evokes heart, body evokes body.""And she said, 'It's not that I don't want that — it's not like this, right now.'""The problem isn't always the context — it's whether you set a container and can speak to it.""There's nothing wrong with our sexuality. It's what we do with it.""Whether you say yes or no, I'm going to be okay.""'I find it really hot when you wear a short skirt and boots!'""Shame is healed in community."
- 1 weeks ago1h 0m
416: How do you deal with your trust issues? (ft. Violet Lange)
Who doesn't have trust issues? Let's be real. Whether it shows up as "I don't trust her to handle my anger," or "I'm afraid I'll just be treated like an ATM" or, "I can't relax until I know the person really, really well," — almost all of carry some version of trust concerns into our dating and relationships.Here, my dear friend and co-facilitator Violet Lange and I do something we don't often get to: We put our worlds side by side. I work primarily with men who are attracted to women; she works primarily with women who are attractd to men.Here we map out the top 3 trust issues we see in our clients -- in other words, how trust issues show up differently across men and women that are attracted to the opposite sex. And, encouragingly, we outline how the path to healing them is remarkably similar.We also get practical about the 3 things required to actually rebuild trust — and none of them is blind trust. As Violet puts it, the goal isn't to trust everyone; it's to trust trustable people, and to feel good about staying closed when you need to.If you want the relationship but dread the dating part; if you're tired of being on dating apps; if you keep wondering "why do I keep ending up here?" — this one's for you. Trust can be repaired. People come, they grow, they flourish.—Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I will help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)—Mentioned on this episode:The Love Field: Hot Love Summer — Violet's and my new 3-month program (constellations, embodiment, polarity, and the brave conversations we were never taught to have,). Starts June 18th; early bird ends Monday, June 8th. Enroll at www.violetlange.com/thelovefieldDocumentary: The Mask You Live In — on how our culture socializes boys and men; this is a great way to open dialogue if you have a young man in your lifeDM 114: Bullying, resilience, and relationships — on reclaiming a healthy relationship to the masculine after being bullied as a kid, teen, or adult—Memorable quotes from this episode:"I'm so sick of being on the apps.""I feel like I can't have sex with someone until I know them really, really, really well.""We feel unsafe to be in our bodies.""Wow, that was really healing to experience something different.""The concern is: In my most vulnerable moments, I will be left.""Women fear, 'I won't be chosen.'""I've been loyal to myself throughout.""I'm not afraid to start over.""A lot of it is about recognizing the patterns that we've inherited.""Now I feel a little more relaxed in my body, so that I can be open to men that are safe for me.""I want the relationships but I don't really want to go through the dating part."
- 2 weeks ago1h 1m
415: The 5 biggest reasons relationships go sexless ... and what to do (ft. Jason Lange)
You love your partner. You're committed. But the sex has slowed to a trickle — once a month, once every six months, maybe not in years — and you're starting to wonder: "Is this just what long-term partnership is?"No -- it doesn't have to be. Unfortunately, if this is happening and you're feeling lonely in your marriage, you're not alone. And it can be hard to know what to do; millions of men feel ill-equipped to address the issue because either a) whenever they do, it becomes a fight; or b) they're scared of coming off as demanding or a jerk.Here, Jason and I count down the 5 root causes we see most often behind sexless relationships, ranked from least to most common, drawing on our work with hundreds of men.We cover how much changes when you have kids (including the partner that just can't relax when the kids are in the house); resentment and quiet breaches of trust; mental load; what kind of sex actually feels good for women; and how to engage on the topic skillfully. As Jason says: “Neither men nor women do well when sex is connected to pressure.”We also share story after story of men whose "spines got straighter," who stopped using sex to discharge stress, and whose wives initiated for the first time in a decade!If you've been the higher-desire partner wondering, "Is this just how it is now?" -- this one's for you. It can come back online, and when it does, it's often even more glorious than ever.—Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I will help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)—Mentioned on this episode:The Love Field -- our new co-gendered course www.violetlange.com/thelovefieldDM 222: Are you using your woman for sex?DM 103: Reverse polarity can kill your sex life as a couple -- unless you do thisMy streaming course Please Her In Bed — which includes how a man can lead sexual communication (www.pleaseherinbed.com)DM 172: Revealing my sex research, one stat at a time (ft. Robbie Kramer)DM 1: Pain in Pleasure, Pleasure in Pain -- episode with my friend Z, who took a Tantra course and went on her own journey of sexual healing within her marriage—Memorable quotes from this episode:“Instead of being on the same team, suddenly we’re against each other.”“This is the challenge most couples aren’t prepared for.”"'I enjoyed that he enjoyed it.' ... That's not the same thing as, 'I enjoyed it.'"“How do we actually create desire in the relationship? That's polarity.”"If there are unresolved tensions between the two of you, there's no room for erotic tension.""'My wife initiated with me for the first time in, I swear to God, a decade.'"“After retreat these guys are CHARGED UP with masculine energy.”“Spending deep, quality time with other men is a big part of this.”“‘I want you to take me!’”"It can change.""Good sex is like lubricant for the relationship itself."
- 3 weeks ago51 min
414: What to do with, ‘You’re great! … I just don’t feel attracted to you.’ (ft. Jason Lange)
Ever been told you're a "great guy!" but she's "just not feeling it"? Or felt like you're endlessly chasing women but never being pursued yourself?Here, we dig into what's actually happening when women consistently report not feeling attracted to you -- and what you can do about it.The truth is, attraction only has a little to do with what you look like physically. For example, one client came into our program good-looking by every conventional standard: broad shoulders, nice body, the whole thing.But he wasn't having success with women. He was frustrated and stuck. He felt like if he kept going in the same vein, he'd never get the partnership he craved. In this episode we reveal how he got to a breakthrough; after 8-10 weeks of doing what we talk about ... he was being chased for the first time in his life.Plus, Jason shares a personal story — a date that fizzled, a year of doing the men's work, and then reconnecting with the same woman and completely changing the dynamic -- including having sexy time! Not because he looked different. Because he showed up differently.Spoiler: "A man's looks account for 20% of attraction. The consciousness that animates a man is 80% of it." And the good news — that 80% is workable.—Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I will help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)—Memorable quotes from this episode:"If I'm in the friend zone with a woman, can I change it?""I would freeze when it would be time to bring attraction forward.""We know pretty fast whether we're interested in someone.""There are a lot of guys that know they were attracted to a woman they're friends with from the moment they met.""Rejection wears you down.""I don't want to make her uncomfortable, so I'm going to hold that back.""We ended up changing it to a sexual relationship.""By being direct, you're leading.""I can't always tell whether I'm attracted to a man until he comes towards me.""You're just the same man with a nicer car.""I'd never had a woman chase me before."
- May 15, 20261h 5m
413: 'Is this ever going to happen for me??' (Violet Lange)
You know the feeling. You've been holding a vision — for the partner, the family, the sex life you actually want — for months. Maybe years. Maybe decades. And it's still not here.And underneath the longing, there's a quieter, scarier question: Is there something wrong with me that it hasn't happened yet?Here, my dear friend and co-facilitator Violet Lang and I have an honest conversation about what it actually takes to hold a long-term vision without collapsing or giving up. We speak vulnerably from experiences in our own lives, as well as the lives of hundreds of clients with whom we've worked.Violet walks us through her fertility journey (including two devastating miscarriages, failed IVF, and ultimately the path of donor embryo) — which she never would have chosen without being brought to her knees first. She also shares her journey from dissociating during sex and fearing that maybe she was broken — to a genuinely thriving sex life.I share my own stretch — over a year of unstable housing while trying to co-found a group house, watching teams fall apart, deals fall through, and feeling a good amount of despair. And my 10-year vision of a conscious romantic partner that's still unfolding.We dig into what actually moves the needle; why the closer you get, the harder it sometimes feels; what Violet calls "initiation" — and why you cannot do this alone.Plus, a client story: a woman who, 8 years post-divorce, went on barely 2-3 dates and completely shut down after a shady situation. And then, within a few months of doing the work, met her partner at a coffee shop when he held the door open for her. They've been together since 2017.And a note for the men listening: conscious men who do personal growth work stand out! There are fewer of you than you think, and it matters.If you've been working toward something for a long time and the question keeps arising — is this ever gonna happen for me? — this one's for you.—Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I will help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)—Mentioned on this episode:Violet's summer group program, with which I'm involved: The Love Field: Hot Love Summer — 12 weeks of shadow work (constellations), polarity practice, embodiment, and live dares. Open to men, women, non-binary folks, singles and couples. Starting June. Enrollment open now at www.violetlange.com/thelovefieldDM 265: What if she's got a sexual trauma background? How do you help? -- Violet covers the jade egg and other modalities that can help a woman overcome sexual trauma and go from not wanting sex to feeling back in her sexy, radiant power (whether she's partnered or not)—Memorable quotes from this episode:"I had never masturbated until I was 27."“I had to decide whether I was going to lean in and keep going, or give up.”“When I was trying to find my beloved, I was with someone who looked great on paper, but who wasn’t right.”"Your past doesn't have to dictate your future — but you have to call yourself in.""The longings on our hearts are sacred.""Love is an art, and it's meant to be practiced."“I had to give myself permission to have crazy-ass fantasies!”“When I invest in what I want, big shifts happen.”“There’s something that is calling me forward.”
- May 8, 202659 min
412: Is perimenopause or menopause stealing her sex drive? (ft. sexual wellness physician Dr. Debra Durst)
She used to want it. Now she doesn't. And you're not sure if it's you, the kids, the stress — or something that's quietly shifted inside her.A lot of the time, it's her hormones. Specifically, perimenopause or menopause.Here's what most people don't know: perimenopause doesn't start at 45 years old. Dr. Debra Durst — an MD who left traditional medicine to specialize in hormone optimization and sexual wellness — is seeing it in women in their 30s, and sometimes even their 20s.And the first hormones to drop aren't estrogen -- they're progesterone and testosterone. Which means your partner may be dealing with sleep disruption, anxiety, a shorter fuse, brain fog, low libido, and body composition changes — while her doctor keeps saying her labs look "normal."Here, Dr. Durst breaks down what perimenopause actually is (it can last a decade or more), why most gynecologists aren't trained to address it, and what comprehensive hormone optimization actually looks like. We get into why testosterone is, surprisingly, the most abundant hormone circulating in a woman's body — and what happens to a couple's sex life when it's properly restored (hint: sometimes you're back to doing it twice a day!).Plus, we talk about solutions to dryness. There are now cutting-edge tissue regeneration treatments — laser rejuvenation and PRP O-Shots — that can bring arousal, sensitivity, and orgasmic strength back after menopause causes physical changes. And we talk about why Dr. Durst's office coined the phrase "no man left behind" — because when a woman gets optimized, her husband sometimes can't keep up. ;)If your partner has gone quiet in the bedroom and you don't know why — or she's been told everything looks fine but something clearly isn't — this one's for you. And if she's listening: this one's for you, too.—Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I will help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)—Mentioned on this episode:Dr. Debra Durst's practice: RevitalizeMD — https://www.revitalyzemd.com — also does remote consultationsSexMD Podcast and Dr. Debra Durst on YouTubeA4M (Anti-Aging Academy) provider directory: A4M.com — search by zip code to find a hormone specialist near youO-Shot and P-Shot official provider directories (oshot.info/members/directory/; https://pshot.info/homepage/)GAINSWave provider network — for men's sexual wellness (https://gainswave.com/directory/)—Memorable quotes from this episode:"If you don't feel like yourself, then you need to start thinking hormones.""Progesterone is your feel-good hormone — sleep and mood, if I was to simplify it.""Leaving problems unaddressed is not sustainable for couples.""These women get tearful because it's the first time they felt like they actually were listened to.""When we get you optimized, he won't be able to keep up.""No man left behind.""A lot of men will say, 'I didn't know I had an issue until you optimized her.'""Women on testosterone — it is life-changing.""Sex does not have to be different if you don't want it to be.""I want my life back. My sex life back."
- May 1, 20261h 12m
411: 'Do I have low testosterone?' (ft. neuroscientist & urologist Dr. Kelly Morgan)
It’s one of the top questions in Dr. Kelly’s men’s health practice. And it’s not just coming from older men — it’s guys in their 20s and 30s. We're talking 27-year-old chiseled Marine sergeants walking in saying, "I can't get motivated. I rarely wake up with erections anymore. I haven't had sex with my girlfriend in two weeks." And their buddies are reporting the same thing.It's not all in their heads, either. According to Dr. Kelly, the average 22-year-old man today often has the testosterone of a 70-year-old. And get this: This is a global trend.Here, Dr. Kelly takes us through the data, including a 2025 meta-analysis of over a million men, which shows roughly a 50% drop in average T since the 1970s. We talk through what’s behind this insanely precipitous drop, as well as what a man can do about it. Plus, we cover why just reaching for a vial of testosterone isn't the move most men think it is. Spoiler: exogenous T can shut down your natural production, shrink your testicles, and tank your fertility.We also get into a success story where a patient went from a testosterone level of 400 to 650 in just 12 weeks, and how he blew Kelly away with his transformation (or as she put it, “When he walked in it was like, ‘Who the f*** is this guy?”). Plus a frank word on what Western medicine has become, and the "free testosterone check" clinics she wants you to be careful of.If you've ever wondered about your testosterone levels and whether they might be low, or your drive has quietly gone missing and you don't know why — this one's for you.—Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I will help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)—Mentioned on this episode:Dr. Kelly Morgan's practice: morganmenshealth.com — free intro men's health webinar in May, 4-part series in June—Memorable quotes from this episode:"Your 22-year-old today often has the testosterone of a 70-year-old in the 1970s.""It's your get up and go anything. And it's your get up and get your dick up.""There's actually no food in the grocery store anymore.""We doctors have become body mechanics to the nth degree. We're not healers anymore. We are mechanics employed by large corporations.""We're an I-want-it-now generation.""These are all things all men can be doing on their own.""Every aspect of your life improves when you have community.""My libido's back!""Oh my god, my dick works again!"
- Apr 24, 20261h 5m
410: Does her emotional intensity overwhelm you? (ft. Jason Lange)
You know the moment. She comes at you with heat — frustrated, hurt, disappointed, or just a lot — and something inside you freezes.Maybe you start minimizing her experience ("It's not that bad"; "You're exaggerating"). Or you lawyer up ("Well but you also said ____" or "That's not what I meant; if you'd just listen while I explained..."). Or you look present, but you're not.It's one of the most common patterns we see in hetero relationships. And the story we've been told about why it happens is mostly wrong.Here, Jason and I dig into what's actually going on when her intensity floods you — and surprising research on this. For example, we still, as a culture, have a story that boys are "strong" and girls are "sensitive," but the Still Face Experiment found that baby boys are actually more emotionally reactive than baby girls, and more dependent on maternal attunement to come back to regulation.Add in the fact that boys receive less comforting touch than girls — more functional, directive touch, less "I've got you" — and by the time you're a grown man, you often don't quite know what it feels like to be truly held. Which means you don't quite know how to hold her. Plus, the Gottman Institute has found that it actually takes a flooded man 20 minutes to come back into presence.Then we get into what actually works. Spoiler: it's not white-knuckling your way through.We also name something critical: none of this is about tolerating emotional abuse. If your partner's intensity is off the charts and the pattern never shifts no matter how present you get — it's time to listen to our episodes on Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).If you've ever looked at your partner mid-conflict and thought I don't know what to do right now or This isn't working; it's just escalating— this one's for you.---Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I will help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Mentioned on this episode:Our Generating Polarity in Dating! masterclass coming up on May 29th. Register at: www.melaniecurtin.com/masterclassOur Borderline Personality Disorder episodes: 128 (start here), 313, 345, 354 & 373 (a 2-part series)Memorable quotes from this episode:"Receiving comfort is actually often a struggle for me.""Sometimes the body is activated while the mind suppresses awareness of it.""What are you grounding into?""It's better to tell her you can't be present right now than pretend like you can.""'I'm flooded. I can't receive you the way I want to right now. I need a 20-minute timeout. And then I want to come back.'""It's not about becoming an invulnerable robot that can handle intensity forever.""The more held you are, the more you can hold her.""Investing in other men is the single best investment you can make in your life.""It's like plugging into a source of clean energy you didn't even know was available.""'I had never experienced safe love in that way before.'"
Get Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women summaries in your inbox
Free AI-powered daily recaps. Key takeaways, quotes, and mentions — in a 5-minute read.
Get Free Summaries →Free forever for up to 3 podcasts. No credit card required.
You Might Also Like
Listeners also like.
You Are Not Broken
Explores sex, hormones, and midlife for women with science, humor, and candid conversations about body and mind reconnection.
The Bad Girls Bible - Sex, Relationships, Dating, Love & Marriage Advice
Explores sex, relationships, dating, and marriage through expert interviews and practical advice.
After Hours with Fresh&Fit Podcast
Dating, fitness, social media, and finance advice shared through late-night conversations with guests and in-studio women.
Please Me! Podcast with Eve
A sex-positive podcast exploring sexuality, sexual health, and intimacy through candid conversations and expert insights.
How To Talk To Girls Podcast
A podcast offering practical dating advice and communication techniques for men seeking to build confidence and attract partners.
Get Your Guy Coaching Podcast
A dating and relationship coach offers practical advice for women on healing, dating, and understanding men to improve their love lives.
The Intimate Marriage Podcast, with Intimacy Coach Alexandra Stockwell, MD
Explores emotional and sexual intimacy in marriage through practical advice on building deeper connection and authentic partnership.
How Men Think
A podcast exploring men's behaviors and relationship dynamics through candid weekly conversations with celebrity guest hosts.
BETTER! with Dr. Stephanie Estima | Strength, Body Composition & Perimenopause
Explores women’s health during perimenopause and menopause through science-backed discussions on nutrition, fitness, hormones, and mindset.
The Sabrina Zohar Show
Explores modern dating, anxious attachment, and personal growth through raw conversations on healing and self-discovery.
Sex With Emily
A sex therapist answers listener questions on intimacy, relationships, and sexual wellness.
Modern Wisdom
Discussions with experts on psychology, philosophy, and self-improvement to help navigate life’s challenges.
About Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women
Advice for smart men on how to succeed with women in sex, dating, relationships, and marriages. Beautiful women give you a peek behind the curtain into what the feminine really craves from the masculine ... and how to give it to us. Personal growth is sexy, haven't you heard?
Customized Recaps
AI-powered recaps with compact key takeaways, quotes, and insights.
Straight to Your Inbox
Get key takeaways from Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women in a 5-minute read.
Save Hours Every Week
Stay current on your favorite podcasts without falling behind.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is Podzilla's Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women daily summary?
It's a free AI-powered email that summarizes new episodes of Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women as soon as they're published. You get the key takeaways, notable quotes, and links & mentions — all in a quick read.
How does the Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women podcast summary work?
When a new episode drops, our AI transcribes and analyzes it, then generates a personalized summary tailored to your interests and profession. It's delivered to your inbox every morning.
Is this an official Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women product?
No. Podzilla is an independent service that summarizes publicly available podcast content. We're not affiliated with or endorsed by Melanie Curtin.
Can I get summaries of other podcasts too?
Absolutely! The free plan covers up to 3 podcasts. Upgrade to Pro for 15, or Premium for 50. Browse our full catalog at /podcasts.
How often does Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women release new episodes?
Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women publishes weekly. Our AI generates a summary within hours of each new episode.
What topics does Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women cover?
Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women covers topics including Education, Sexuality, Fitness, Relationships, Culture, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture. Our AI identifies the specific themes in each episode and highlights what matters most to you.
Start getting Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women summaries tomorrow morning.
Free forever for up to 3 podcasts. No credit card required.
Free forever for up to 3 podcasts. No credit card required.