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CLOSER with Rachel Lim: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Rachel Lim
CLOSER with Rachel Lim is about the conversations beneath the surface. Rachel sits down with people who fascinate her to explore not just what they’ve done, but what has shaped who they are: the experiences, relationships, contradictions, failures, beliefs and questions that have made them who they are today. Alongside long-form conversations are personal reflections from Rachel on what she is learning, unlearning and seeing differently in her own life. There may not always be a clear answer.. but perhaps the point is to come away seeing someone differently, seeing ourselves differently, and feeling a little closer. To ourselves. To each other. To what matters.
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- Today47 min
Raising Conscious Humans: Raising Children Who Still Tell Us the Hard Things
Our children will tell us things we don’t want to hear. What we do in that moment teaches them what to bring us next. In Episode 3 of Raising Conscious Humans, Hwee Keng Maeder and I talk about why “because I’m your parent!” isn’t the same as real authority, and what it looks like to hold the line without using fear. In this episode: • The day her youngest lost his MRT card, and why she didn’t bail him out • How she separates a child’s feelings from their actions • What she does when a teenage son’s friends worry her • What her sons have said that stung, and what she took from it • A moment she’s not proud of, and how she repaired it • The moment after the Olympic bronze when she knew her son had grown up Hwee Keng’s line I keep coming back to: “You want to be right or you want to be close. It’s your choice.” One day, Ollie and Keira will have something hard to tell me. I want to be the person they’re not afraid to tell. Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:00 What Does Authority Without Fear Look Like? 00:01:58 Allowing Children to Own the Consequences of Their Choices 00:06:25 Respect vs. Fear: What Are We Actually Building? 00:08:32 Guiding Their Choices Without Taking Away Their Agency 00:12:58 When We Get It Wrong: Accountability and Repair 00:19:15 How Reframing Changes the Way We Parent 00:21:39 Knowing When to Step Away Before Emotions Take Over 00:23:04 Teaching Children to Disagree Without Disrespect 00:28:46 The Hidden Cost of Fear in Parenting 00:32:38 Helping Children Build Their Own Moral Compass 00:35:51 “Mum, I’m Not Your Friend. I’m Your Son.” 00:40:43 Do You Want to Be Right or Do You Want to Be Close? 00:43:17 What It Means to Raise Children Who Are Fit for Life Follow CLOSER on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/closerwithrach/ Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
- 2 weeks ago1h 6m
#62: Chloe Tong: Marriage First, Life Beyond Labels & Growing With Grab
Chloe Tong opens up about the life behind the roles she is most known for: daughter, wife, mother of five, partner to Grab co-founder and CEO Anthony Tan, and now the work she is building through ACE Foundation. In this conversation, she shares how losing her mother young shaped the way she thinks about love and family, what boarding school taught her about independence, and how growing up gave her the freedom to be both ambitious and maternal. We go into the early days of her relationship with Anthony, why it began with deep respect before love, why she quit just two weeks after meeting him to build alongside him, the fights that shaped their marriage, and why they made the unconventional decision to put their marriage before their children. We also talk about motherhood, privilege, service, identity, the pressure of building a family in public, and what it means to create a home that feels steady even when life outside is not. At the heart of the conversation is a question Chloe is still living into: how do you build a life deeply intertwined with others while still becoming more fully yourself? Chapters 00:00:00 Getting to Know Chloe Tong 00:01:24 Growing Up with the Courage to Speak Up 00:03:42 Learning to Hold Love and Regret Together 00:05:18 Carrying Forward Unconditional Love 00:06:33 Finding Her Voice Away from Home 00:07:52 Knowing When Not to Rescue Your Child 00:09:51 Learning to See Her Mother More Fully 00:11:33 Why Children Don’t Always Need Equal 00:14:03 Wanting Both: Ambition and Motherhood 00:17:50 Meeting Anthony: A Relationship Built on Honesty 00:24:18 Building a Marriage Around Shared Values 00:26:27 Learning to Disagree Without Losing Respect 00:28:17 Choosing to Stay Through the Hard Things 00:31:33 Beyond Titles: Making Space for Every Version of Herself 00:34:12 What It Takes to Hold Family and Work Together 00:36:17 Building a Home That Feels Like Peace 00:38:43 Why Their Marriage Comes Before Their Children 00:44:03 Finding Purpose Through ACE Foundation 00:55:05 Building a Family Culture That Works for You 00:56:01 Finding Perspective Through Faith and Family 00:57:15 Who Is Chloe Beyond Everything She Does? 00:58:04 Learning to Put Ego Aside 01:01:52 When Purpose Calls You Beyond Yourself 01:03:25 What Her Mother Would Say Today Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/doctorramani?stkn=MWcxZXNwdng3YzZteA== Follow Chloe Tong here: https://www.instagram.com/chloetong/ Follow CLOSER here: https://www.instagram.com/closerwithrach/
- 4 weeks ago41 min
Raising Conscious Humans: Raising Children With an Inner Compass
When do children stop trusting themselves? They start out asking why about everything. They know what they like. They challenge us. They follow their curiosity without wondering whether they’re doing it “right”. And then, somewhere along the way, many start looking outside themselves for the answers. In the 2nd episode of Raising Conscious Humans, I sit down again with Hwee Keng Maeder, mother of three boys, including Singapore’s youngest Olympic medallist, Max Maeder, to talk about how we protect that inner compass instead of slowly overriding it. She tells me, “You can’t want to raise a curious child that doesn’t challenge you. Then it’s not a curious child.” We talk about knowing when to step in and when not to rescue, including why she resisted bringing her youngest home from a summer camp in Greece even when he called every day asking to leave. We also talk about giving children real responsibility, letting them face consequences, and creating different “pockets” where they can build confidence and self-worth, so their whole identity doesn’t rest on our approval or how well they perform. And I share a moment with Ollie that made me realise how easily our children’s struggles can start to feel like a reflection of us. At the heart of it is one question: How do we raise children who can trust themselves? Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:02:00 Curious Child vs. Compliant Child 00:03:38 It’s Okay to Say, “Not Right Now” 00:04:49 Honouring the Child’s Agenda, Not Ours 00:08:52 How Good Intentions Can Kill Curiosity 00:11:47 Creating a Safe Space for Questions and Discernment 00:15:11 When to Sit With Discomfort Instead of Rescuing 00:19:11 “Is This for Them, or Is This for Me?” 00:23:21 When Our Child’s Struggle Feels Like Our Failure 00:27:45 Giving Children Space to Build Their Own Confidence 00:33:48 Letting Children Face Consequences 00:37:40 Raising Conscious Humans, Not Compliant Ones 00:39:01 The Mindset Shift That Changes How We Parent Follow CLOSER on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/closerwithrach/ Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
- Sep 29, 202639 min
#61: Dr. Ramani: The Signs of a Narcissistic Relationship & How Not to Lose Yourself
The word narcissist gets thrown around a lot. But what does narcissism actually look like in a relationship, and what happens to us when we spend too long trying to manage someone else? In this episode of CLOSER, I sit down with clinical psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Ramani Durvasula to unpack narcissism beyond the label: the subtle signs we often miss, why narcissistic people can be so charming to the outside world, and why the people closest to them can have a completely different experience. We talk about what it feels like to walk on eggshells, to second-guess what you say, to give endlessly but feel unsupported in return, and how, over time, you can begin silencing parts of yourself just to keep the peace. Dr. Ramani also shares why we cannot change another person's narcissism, what healthy boundaries and realistic expectations can look like, and why compassion for someone else should not require abandoning yourself. We explore healing, self-blame, healthy ego, social media, and how we can raise children with a stronger sense of who they are. One idea from this conversation stayed with me: more than one thing can be true at the same time. You can love someone and still be hurt by them. You can see the good in them and acknowledge that their behaviour may not change. And sometimes, healing begins with seeing the relationship for what it is, rather than continuing to believe that if we just love better, give more, or say the right thing, we can make it different. Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:26 What Is Narcissism, Really? 00:03:57 Narcissism Is a Spectrum 00:06:12 How Dr. Ramani Recognised Narcissism in Her Own Life 00:08:42 What a Narcissistic Relationship Actually Feels Like 00:12:49 Is Social Media Fueling Narcissism? 00:15:16 How to Raise Children With a Strong Sense of Self 00:19:30 Can a Narcissist Actually Change? 00:21:26 How to Stop Blaming Yourself and Set Boundaries 00:24:36 The Biggest Myths About Narcissism 00:26:12 Healthy Ego vs. Narcissism 00:27:49 When Compassion Becomes Self-Abandonment 00:30:10 “It’s Not You” 00:32:04 Be Their Parent, Not Their Peer 00:35:53 What Dr. Ramani Wants You to Know About Narcissism Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/doctorramani?stkn=MWcxZXNwdng3YzZteA== Follow Dr. Ramani Durvasula here: https://doctor-ramani.com/
- Sep 15, 202643 min
Raising Conscious Humans: Raising the Child You Have, Not the Child You Want
Hwee Keng said: “There is a personality in that small human being... you don’t know the settings. First, I think you need to find out the settings.” As parents, we spend so much energy shaping who we hope our children will become, and perhaps not enough time discovering who they already are. What struck me about Hwee Keng is how much of her parenting has been about unlearning her own expectations. She even caught herself once after feeling disappointed that Max didn’t win a competition, and realised some of that disappointment was about her own ego. That hit me. Because maybe the work is not raising the child we imagined, but learning to really see the child in front of us. In this episode, we talk about curiosity over performance, giving children real agency, the difference between “you’ve got this” and “we’ve got you,” responsibility, consequences, and what it means to raise children who are truly fit for life. Follow CLOSER on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/closerwithrach/ Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
- Aug 11, 202647 min
#60: SG's Fastest Woman on What Success Never Taught Her
Before Shanti Pereira became Singapore's fastest woman, before she made history on some of the world's biggest stages, she was a ten-year-old girl who lost a few races in primary school and wanted to quit. That's where we begin. Not with the medals, but with the moments most people never see. Losing both her scholarships within the same week at 22 and sharing, "It really felt like rejection." Getting injured in an Olympic year after achieving her dream of qualifying for Paris on merit, and wondering if she'd even make it to the start line. The unglamorous discipline of showing up on the days she didn't feel like it at all. What struck me most wasn't Shanti's list of achievements.. it was the way she spoke about identity. About learning not to tie her self-worth to success or failure. About protecting her peace. And about choosing, again and again, not to give up when things get hard. At the end of every season, whether it's been a good one or a difficult one, she asks herself: "Did I show up?" I think that's a question all of us need from time to time. I hope you'll enjoy this conversation with Shanti Pereira. Chapters 00:00:00 Meet Shanti Pereira: The Woman Behind Singapore’s Fastest Sprint 00:01:20 Growing Up in the Shadow of Track and Field 00:03:46 The Childhood Lesson That Changed Everything 00:05:27 Grounded Advice For Her Younger Self 00:06:54 Facing Rejection: Losing Two Scholarships in a Single Week 00:09:14 Defying Failure and Choosing Resilience 00:12:40 Managing Olympic Dreams Amidst Physical Injuries 00:18:09 Staying Grounded: Body Care, Aging, and Reconnecting With Her "Why" 00:20:23 Choosing Stillness Over Chaos at the Starting Line 00:25:12 Tuning Out Public Pressure to Protect Your Joy 00:27:56 How to Reset Your Mindset After a Bad Race 00:30:48 The Powerful Advice That Stayed With Her 00:31:33 Finding Her Identity Beyond Winning and Losing 00:34:23 The Unseen Work and Human Side of Elite Performance 00:36:17 Choosing Consistency and Building Unshakable Habits 00:37:36 Shanti Pereira’s Definition of a Champion 00:39:19 Inspiring the Next Generation of Athletes 00:40:13 Sacrificing Her 20s: Choosing a Different Path Without Regret 00:41:23 Entering a Milestone Decade and Looking Toward Her Next Era 00:43:35 Shanti Pereira’s Recovery Rituals and Wellness Staples 00:45:18 The Message She Hopes to Leave Behind 00:46:05 Staying True to Herself Beyond the Spotlight 00:46:41 Final Reflections Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/ Follow Shanti Pereira here: https://www.instagram.com/vshantipereira/
- Jul 22, 202659 min
#59: What Success Never Prepared Me For with Ingck
Most people know Ing as the founder of INGU - the skincare brand that sold out 30,000 units in three minutes with zero advertising. The trusted voice who built a community of millions by doing the one thing his industry often punishes: telling the truth. But this conversation isn't really about skincare.. it's about what happens after you build something people believe in. The weight of carrying other people's trust. The loneliness of being misunderstood. The panic attacks that made him think he was dying. The goodbye video he filmed, edited, and still hasn't had the courage to post. For the first time, Ing shares what was happening behind the scenes during one of the biggest seasons of his life, and how it changed the way he thinks about ambition, happiness and success itself. We also talk about the person who answered the phone from a surgery room when Ing thought he was going to die on the floor of a café, and why that relationship ultimately reshaped his definition of what really matters. I left this conversation seeing success a little differently. I hope you do too. Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/ Follow Ing here: https://www.instagram.com/ingck/ Follow Ingu Skin here: https://www.instagram.com/inguskin/
- Jul 1, 202623 min
#58: What If Your Next Chapter Is Bigger Than You've Imagined?
You don't need a crisis to enter a new chapter. Sometimes life is moving along just fine. And yet, you find yourself carrying questions you can't quite shake. This conversation feels especially meaningful to me. Three years ago, Bill Burnett helped shape one of the biggest chapters of my life. Today, I'm returning to his work because the questions I'm asking have changed, and I need that space again. Together, we explore why so many of us feel there's "something more," why life was never meant to be a straight line, and how creating the time, space, and structure to think differently can help us navigate what's next with greater clarity, intention, and possibility. If this conversation resonates with you, Bill and I will be hosting a special CLOSER experience in Singapore on 25th July. We'd love for you to join us as we explore what your next chapter could become. Sing up for CLOSER x Bill Burnett here: https://tinyurl.com/5n7dkdrb Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/ Visit Bill Burnett’s website here: https://designingyour.life/ Read ‘Designing Your Life’ here: https://designingyour.life/books-designing-life-original-book/
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About CLOSER with Rachel Lim
CLOSER with Rachel Lim is about the conversations beneath the surface. Rachel sits down with people who fascinate her to explore not just what they’ve done, but what has shaped who they are: the experiences, relationships, contradictions, failures, beliefs and questions that have made them who they are today. Alongside long-form conversations are personal reflections from Rachel on what she is learning, unlearning and seeing differently in her own life. There may not always be a clear answer.. but perhaps the point is to come away seeing someone differently, seeing ourselves differently, and feeling a little closer. To ourselves. To each other. To what matters.
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