Church Staff Book Club

Kindness Isn't Soft... It's the Most Important Part of Our Leadership

July 28, 2026·31 min
Episode Description from the Publisher

Nobody wants to admit they want to be liked. But what if likability isn't about feeding your ego... What if it's about whether people actually want to follow you?Welcome to Season 4 of the Church Staff Book Club. Jonathan Malm and Jason Young are diving into their own book, Likable Leader, and right out of the gate they're wrestling with the title itself. Because "likable" sounds like something a people-pleaser cares about, not a serious leader. Except the research says otherwise. And so does every volunteer who ever quietly stopped showing up.In this episode, you'll learn:Why likability has nothing to do with personality type and everything to do with consistent behaviorThe critical difference between being nice and being kind as well as why confusing them is quietly killing your team cultureHow the strongest leaders use kindness while holding people accountableWhy the banking metaphor is the most honest picture of how trust actually works in leadershipWhat "honor culture" gets wrong and why you shouldn't have to manufacture what should happen naturallyWhy people stay with leaders not because of competence but because of how they're consistently treated7 simple questions to take inventory of your own likability right nowPlus Jonathan shares what it was like watching his brother lead a worship team with zero sugarcoating and total loyalty from everyone on it, why the sandwich feedback method is eroding trust faster than you think, and why being a chameleon leader is the fastest way to lose your kids.

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