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Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Choosing To Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal
Choosing To Stay After Infidelity & Betrayal is a podcast for couples navigating the aftermath of infidelity, betrayal, and broken trust. Whether you’re a betrayed partner making sense of the pain, or the partner who caused harm and wants to repair what was broken, this show offers trauma-informed tools, honest conversations, and grounded hope. Hosted by Hali Roderick, the podcast explores trust repair, emotional regulation, accountability, boundaries, and discernment—without rushing forgiveness or pushing a one-size-fits-all outcome.
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- 4 days ago11 min
#177 One Hour a Week Was Never Going to Be Enough
If you're a woman and you’re doing the work — therapy, coaching, reading everything you can get your hands on — and you're still white-knuckling it alone most days of the week, this episode is for you. I talk about why healing from betrayal trauma was never going to happen in one hour a week, including from my own experience, and about a pattern I see constantly: how much of our time, money, and energy goes toward his healing while ours quietly gets put on the back burner. Then I introduce Reclaiming You, the group program built to put your healing first — with community and high-touch support to get you through the hardest days. Click here to learn more.Enjoyed This Episode?If this conversation resonated with you, here are three ways you can support the show:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Leave a Review 💬 Join the Community 📲 Share This Episode Connect With Me + Continue Your HealingIf today’s episode resonated with you, you don’t have to walk the healing journey after betrayal alone. Here are a few ways to stay connected and continue your healing:Download my free guide: The Six Ways Betrayal Hides in Your BodyLearn more about Reclaiming You: Healing after betrayal starts with reclaiming yourself. Reclaiming You is a high touch, trauma-informed group experience designed to help you restore nervous system safety, rebuild self-trust, and come home to who you are.Join the Help Her Heal weekly support group for men working to rebuild trust and create safety.Sign up for my Rooted and Rising Healing mailing list to stay informed of all upcoming resources and events where we can connect. Join me at a Retreat or IntensiveIf you’re craving deeper, in-person support and embodied healing, I’m helping facilitate upcoming experiences created specifically for betrayed partners.The Revive and Thrive Somatic Healing Intensive takes place October 6-9 in Spanish Fork, Utah and offers a structured, trauma-informed space to understand betrayal trauma, regulate your nervous system, and rebuild self-trust.The Awakening The Man Within men’s Somatic Intensive is a powerful, immersive experience designed for men who have already begun their recovery and self-awareness journey — and are ready to go deeper. This takes place November 8-11th. Rise, Renew, Restore Retreat in Bali, Indonesia is an intimate, trauma-informed women’s healing retreat designed for women who have already done significant inner work and are ready to move beyond surviving into deeper joy, embodiment, and wholeness. Join us April 18–25, 2027, in Bali for a powerful fusion of somatic healing, breathwork, sound, energy work, Human Design, meaningful cultural experiences, adventure, rest, and connection—all guided by trauma-trained facilitators.If you are a navigating parenting in the aftermath of betrayal, you will find insightful information and tips on how to talk to your kids in my self-paced course called Intentional Parenting After Betrayal, created with my daughter, Morgan Ellsworth, LMAFT, CCPS. Free Resources & DownloadsAccess free tools, guided practices, and educational resources designed to support nervous system regulation, self-trust, boundaries, and clarity after betrayal. 👉A Mini Guide to Mindful Healing After Betrayal👉Your First Steps to Rising After BetrayalListen to My Other PodcastIf you are a betrayed partner, I also host a sec
- 1 weeks ago14 min
#176 The Fight Under the Fight — Decoding What Betrayal Trauma Does to Your Everyday Arguments
If you're rebuilding trust after infidelity, you've probably noticed something strange: small disagreements can escalate way faster and way bigger than the topic seems to deserve. A dish in the sink. A short text back. Being fifteen minutes late.In this episode, we talk about why that happens — and it's not because either of you is being dramatic. After betrayal, your nervous system starts running everyday moments through a threat filter, not just an annoyance filter. That means ordinary conflict can carry real weight underneath it: questions about safety, about control, and about repair work that hasn't fully landed yet.Enjoyed This Episode?If this conversation resonated with you, here are three ways you can support the show:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Leave a Review💬 Join the Community📲 Share This Episode Connect With Me + Continue Your HealingIf today’s episode resonated with you, you don’t have to walk the healing journey after betrayal alone. Here are a few ways to stay connected and continue your healing:Download my free guide: The Six Ways Betrayal Hides in Your BodyJoin the Reclaiming You Waitlist: Healing after betrayal starts with reclaiming yourself. Reclaiming You is a high touch, trauma-informed group experience designed to help you restore nervous system safety, rebuild self-trust, and come home to who you are.Join the Help Her Heal weekly support group for men working to rebuild trust and create safety.Sign up for my Rooted and Rising Healing mailing list to stay informed of all upcoming resources and events where we can connect. Join me at a Retreat or IntensiveIf you’re craving deeper, in-person support and embodied healing, I’m helping facilitate upcoming experiences created specifically for betrayed partners.The Revive and Thrive Somatic Healing Intensive takes place October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.The Awakening The Man Within men’s Somatic Intensive is a powerful, immersive experience designed for men who have already begun their recovery and self-awareness journey, and are ready to go deeper. This takes place November 8-11, 2026. Rise, Renew, Restore Retreat in Bali, Indonesia is an intimate, trauma-informed women’s healing retreat designed for women who have already done significant inner work and are ready to move beyond surviving into deeper joy, embodiment, and wholeness. Join us April 18–25, 2027, in Bali for a powerful fusion of methods—all guided by trauma-trained facilitators.If you are a navigating parenting in the aftermath of betrayal, you will find insightful information and tips on how to talk to your kids in my self-paced course called Intentional Parenting After Betrayal. I created this course alongside my daughter, Morgan Ellsworth, LMAFT, CCPS. Free Resources & DownloadsAccess free tools, guided practices, and educational resources designed to support nervous system regulation, self-trust, boundaries, and clarity after betrayal. 👉A Mini Guide to Mindful Healing After Betrayal👉Your First Steps to Rising After BetrayalListen to My Other PodcastIf you are a betrayed partner, I also host a second podcast called Rooted & Rising Healing After Betrayal, created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma.This show offers grounded, trauma-informed c
- 2 weeks ago43 min
#175 The Separation Plan Guide: Navigating Time Apart After Betrayal Trauma with Shawna Meek, PCC, CPC-S
"Separation" doesn't have to mean divorce. In this episode, I'm joined by Shawna Meek of Living Stones Coaching to talk about the therapeutic separation — a structured, intentional time apart designed to create safety and clarity for couples navigating betrayal.Whether you're considering time apart or just trying to understand your options, this conversation offers a grounded starting point. Connect with Shawna Meek: www.livingstonescoaching.com or shawna@livingstonescoaching.comDetermined for More bookSix Episode Podcast SeriesGet the resources mentioned in today’s episode: The Separation Plan GuideRelational Safety Plan for CouplesShawna is a Professional Certified Coach, author, and coaching consultation supervisor. Her specialized focus is supporting woman experiencing betrayal trauma from problematic sexual behavior and are in a neurodiverse marriage, primarily with autism and Asperger profiles. She currently reaches those around the world through her podcast appearances, individual coaching, couples workshops, and supervising other professionals. She is also a brainspotting practitioner. She is the author of the book, Determined for More, based on her own 25 year marriage journey, available on Amazon.Enjoyed This Episode?If this conversation resonated with you, here are three ways you can support the show:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Leave a Review💬 Join the Community📲 Share This Episode Connect With Me + Continue Your HealingIf today’s episode resonated with you, you don’t have to walk the healing journey after betrayal alone. Here are a few ways to stay connected and continue your healing:Download my free guide: The Six Ways Betrayal Hides in Your BodyJoin the Reclaiming You Waitlist: Healing after betrayal starts with reclaiming yourself. Reclaiming You is a high touch, trauma-informed group experience designed to help you restore nervous system safety, rebuild self-trust, and come home to who you are.Join the Help Her Heal weekly support group for men working to rebuild trust and create safety.Sign up for my Rooted and Rising Healing mailing list to stay informed of all upcoming resources and events where we can connect. Join me at a Retreat or IntensiveIf you’re craving deeper, in-person support and embodied healing, I’m helping facilitate upcoming experiences created specifically for betrayed partners.If you're ready for a deeper connection with your daughter(s), learn more about my upcoming retreat - Becoming Together: A Mother Daughter Retreat - hosted by myself and my two daughters in Sedona, Arizona on September 8 - 12th.The Revive and Thrive Somatic Healing Intensive
- 3 weeks ago29 min
***BONUS Choosing Different Mini Series: What I Wish I'd Done Differently with my daughters, Mataia and Morgan
In this episode of the Choosing Different mini-series, Hali is joined by her daughters, Mataia and Morgan, for an honest conversation about betrayal trauma's impact on the whole family — not just the marriage. Hali reflects on what she believed she was doing right at the time (staying reassuring, keeping hard details between the adults) and what she's since learned she missed about how her daughters were actually experiencing it. Mataia and Morgan share what that season of family trauma recovery looked like from where they were standing as kids, and how it's shaping the choices they make now as young moms of their own.Together they talk about the protective patterns that form in the middle of survival mode, why validating both the parent's experience and the child's experience matters for real healing, and what it looks like to break old patterns on purpose instead of by accident. The episode closes with an invitation to the Becoming Together mother/daughter retreat.Mentioned in this episode: If you're ready for a deeper connection with your daughter(s), learn more about my upcoming retreat - Becoming Together: A Mother Daughter Retreat - hosted by myself and my two daughters in Sedona, Arizona on September 8 - 12th.Get support for your children: Witnessed Group Coaching program led by Morgan Ellsworth. Connect with Morgan Ellsworth: morgan.ellsworth98@gmail.comInstagram: @healing.betrayed.families Podcast: Healing Betrayed FamiliesEnjoyed This Episode?If this conversation resonated with you, here are three ways you can support the show:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Leave a Review💬 Join the Community📲 Share This EpisodeConnect With Me + Continue Your HealingIf today’s episode resonated with you, you don’t have to walk the healing journey after betrayal alone. Here are a few ways to stay connected and continue your healing:Download my free guide: The Six Ways Betrayal Hides in Your BodyJoin the Reclaiming You Waitlist: Healing after betrayal starts with reclaiming yourself. Reclaiming You is a high touch, trauma-informed group experience designed to help you restore nervous system safety, rebuild self-trust, and come home to who you are.Join the Help Her Heal weekly support group for men working to rebuild trust and create safety.Sign up for my Rooted and Rising Healing mailing list to stay informed of all upcoming resources and events where we can connect. Join me at a Retreat or IntensiveIf you’re craving deeper, in-person support and embodied healing, I’m helping facilitate upcoming experiences created specifically for betrayed partners.The Revive and Thrive Somatic Healing Intensive takes place October 6-9 in Spanish Fork, Utah and offers a structured, trauma-informed space to understand betrayal trauma, regulate your nervous system, and rebuild self-trust.Email Hali to join the Interest list for an upcoming course for parents called Intentional Parenting After Betrayal, hosted by Hali and her daughter, Morgan Ellsworth. Free
- 3 weeks ago14 min
#174 It's Not Too Late: Healing an Affair You Thought Was Behind You
If the betrayal in your relationship happened years ago — and life moved forward, but the deepest layers of healing never actually happened — this episode is for you.Maybe the resources weren't available at the time. Maybe neither of you had the language for what betrayal trauma actually is. Maybe you got through the facts but never did the deeper grief work. Whatever the reason, when real repair gets skipped, the pain doesn't disappear — it waits.Enjoyed This Episode?If this conversation resonated with you, here are three ways you can support the show:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Leave a Review 💬 Join the Community📲 Share This EpisodeConnect With Me + Continue Your HealingIf today’s episode resonated with you, you don’t have to walk the healing journey after betrayal alone. I create trauma-informed resources, conversations, and learning experiences to support individuals and couples navigating infidelity, betrayal trauma, and relational repair.Here are a few ways to stay connected and continue your healing:Download my free guide: The Six Ways Betrayal Hides in Your BodyJoin the Reclaiming You Waitlist: Healing after betrayal starts with reclaiming yourself. Reclaiming You is a high touch, trauma-informed group experience designed to help you restore nervous system safety, rebuild self-trust, and come home to who you are.Join the Help Her Heal weekly support group for men working to rebuild trust and create safety.Sign up for my Rooted and Rising Healing mailing list to stay informed of all upcoming resources and events where we can connect. Join me at a Retreat or IntensiveIf you’re craving deeper, in-person support and embodied healing, I’m helping facilitate upcoming experiences created specifically for betrayed partners.If you're ready for a deeper connection with your daughter(s), learn more about my upcoming retreat - Becoming Together: A Mother Daughter Retreat - hosted by myself and my two daughters in Sedona, Arizona on September 8 - 12th.The Revive and Thrive Somatic Healing Intensive takes place October 6-9 in Spanish Fork, Utah and offers a structured, trauma-informed space to understand betrayal trauma, regulate your nervous system, and rebuild self-trust.Email Hali to join the Interest list for an upcoming course for parents called Intentional Parenting After Betrayal, hosted by Hali and her daughter, Morgan Ellsworth. Free Resources & DownloadsAccess free tools, guided practices, and educational resources designed to support nervous system regulation, self-trust, boundaries, and clarity after betrayal.👉The Six Ways Trauma Hides in the Body 👉A Mini Guide to Mindful Healing After Betrayal👉Your First Steps to Rising After BetrayalListen to My Other PodcastIf you are a betrayed partner, I also host a second podcast called Rooted & Rising Healing After Betrayal, created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma.This show offers grounded, trauma-informed conversations, solo reflections, and tools to help you reconnect with yourself, reclaim
- Aug 20, 202644 min
#173 Betrayed Men: Why Their Trauma Looks Different — and What Actually Helps with Dr. Laney Knowlton
When we talk about betrayal trauma, the picture most people carry is of a betrayed woman. But men experience betrayal too — and their pain often goes unseen, misread as anger, or dismissed entirely. In this episode, Dr. Laney Knowlton joins us to look honestly at what betrayal trauma looks like for men.We talk about the support gap, look at the cultural messages men carry, and how those make healing challenging.Most importantly, we talk about what actually helps and what genuine healing looks like whether a man chooses to stay or leave. Dr. Laney Knowlton is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Supervisor and clinical sexologist with a PhD in Clinical Sexology. She maintains a private practice, Knowlton Counseling with physical offices in TX and UT and is licensed across more than a dozen states. She specializes in sexual abuse, betrayal, and problematic sexual behavior. Dr. Knowlton is the author of Healing from Betrayal, Infidelity, and Problematic Sexual Behaviors (Routledge, 2025) and the developer of the Connected Recovery® framework. She currently serves as President of the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH). KnowltonCounseling.com & ConnectedRecoveryTraining.comLaney@KnowltonCounseling.comlinktr.ee/connectedrecoveryFree Handouts Most Recent BookSASH podcast Other Resources in this Episode: Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual AddictionHelping Couples Heal From Infidelity and Find Love AgainThe Intimacy PyramidThe Betrayal ShrinkEnjoyed This Episode?Here are three ways you can support the show:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Leave a Review💬 Join the Community📲 Share This EpisodeConnect With Me + Continue Your HealingYou don’t have to walk the healing journey after betrayal alone.Here are a few ways to stay connected and continue your healing:Download my free guide: The Six Ways Betrayal Hides in Your BodyJoin the Reclaiming You Waitlist: Healing after betrayal starts with reclaiming yourself. Reclaiming You is a high touch, trauma-informed group experience designed to help you restore nervous system safety, rebuild self-trust, and come home to who you are.Join the Help Her Heal weekly support group for men working to rebuild trust and create safety.Sign up for my Rooted and Rising Healing mailing list to stay informed of all upcoming resources and events where we can connect. Join me at a Retreat or IntensiveI’m helping facilitate upcoming experiences created specifically for betrayed partners.If you're ready for a deeper connection with your daughter(s), learn more about my upcoming retreat - <strong
- Aug 13, 202627 min
#172 Why the Right Words Aren't Enough: Embodied Empathy in Betrayal Recovery
You can say all the right words and still leave your partner feeling completely unsafe.If you're the partner who caused harm, that may be the most frustrating thing you've encountered in recovery — you apologized, you said "I understand," you told her you're here, and somehow it still landed wrong. In this episode, Hali explains why your partner isn't responding to your words. She's responding to your body — to whether your presence feels safe or braced, whether you're actually with her or just managing her. That's embodied empathy.Hali walks through what embodied empathy actually is and why a traumatized nervous system is exquisitely tuned to detect the mismatch between what you say and the state you're actually in. Then she lays out two concrete lists: the behaviors that model embodied empathy and build safety (staying regulated and present when she's activated, accountability without minimizing, letting her be angry without firing back, transparency over time), and the behaviors that get in the way (defensiveness, minimizing, blame-shifting, gaslighting, withdrawal, empty promises).Drawing on the response patterns in the book Courageous Love alongside a somatic, nervous-system lens, this episode gives both partners a clear, behavior-level map of what genuine presence after betrayal actually looks like.Enjoyed This Episode?If this conversation resonated with you, here are three ways you can support the show:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Leave a Review💬 Join the Community 📲 Share This Episode Connect With Me + Continue Your HealingIf today’s episode resonated with you, you don’t have to walk the healing journey after betrayal alone. Here are a few ways to stay connected and continue your healing:Download my free guide: The Six Ways Betrayal Hides in Your BodyJoin the Reclaiming You Waitlist: Healing after betrayal starts with reclaiming yourself. Reclaiming You is a high touch, trauma-informed group experience designed to help you restore nervous system safety, rebuild self-trust, and come home to who you are.Join the Help Her Heal weekly support group for men working to rebuild trust and create safety.Sign up for my Rooted and Rising Healing mailing list to stay informed of all upcoming resources and events where we can connect. Join me at a Retreat or IntensiveIf you’re craving deeper, in-person support and embodied healing, I’m helping facilitate upcoming experiences created specifically for betrayed partners.If you're ready for a deeper connection with your daughter(s), learn more about my upcoming retreat - Becoming Together: A Mother Daughter Retreat - hosted by myself and my two daughters in Sedona, Arizona on September 8 - 12th.The Revive and Thrive Somatic Healing Intensive takes place October 6-9 in Spanish Fork, Utah.Email Hali to join the Interest list for an upcoming course for parents called Intentional Parenting After Betrayal, hosted by Hali and her daughter, Morgan Ellsworth. Free Resources & DownloadsAccess free tools, guided practices, and educational resources designed to support nervous system regulation, self-trust, boundaries, and clarity after betrayal. 👉A Mini Guide to Mindful Healing After Betrayal👉Your First Steps to Rising After Betrayal<b
- Aug 8, 202620 min
*** BONUS Choosing Different Mini Series: Three Words Every Parent Owes Their Child: "I Believe You"
What happens when a child no longer has to convince their parent that their pain was real?In this episode of Choosing Different Mini Series, Hali sits down with her daughter, Morgan Ellsworth, for a short, unscripted conversation about one of the most healing things a parent can offer: belief. They talk about the three quiet ways parents unintentionally dismiss a child's experience - through differing memories, good intentions, and simple unawareness - and why none of those things make a child's pain any less real.Mentioned in this episode: If you're ready for a deeper connection with your daughter(s), learn more about my upcoming retreat - Becoming Together: A Mother Daughter Retreat - hosted by myself and my two daughters in Sedona, Arizona on September 8 - 12th.Join us: FREE Parenting Through the Wreckage Webinar on Wednesday, August 12, 2026 at 5pm PacificGet support for your children: Witnessed Group Coaching program led by Morgan Ellsworth. Connect with Morgan Ellsworth: morgan.ellsworth98@gmail.comInstagram: @healing.betrayed.families Podcast: Healing Betrayed FamiliesEnjoyed This Episode?If this conversation resonated with you, here are three ways you can support the show:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Leave a Review — Reviews help other people in the betrayal trauma community find this podcast when they need it most. It only takes a minute and means the world.💬 Join the Community — Connect with others who are navigating this same journey. You don't have to do this alone. 📲 Share This Episode — Know someone who needs to hear this? Send it to them. Share it on your social media. You never know who might be waiting for exactly this conversation.Connect With Me + Continue Your HealingUpcoming Group Coaching: Reclaiming You After BetrayalIf you’re ready for deeper guidance in a structured, supportive format, I am offering a group coaching program focused on healing after betrayal, rebuilding self-trust, and grounding into your values and identity—without rushing decisions about staying or leaving.👉 Join the Reclaiming You Waitlist!Join the Help Her Heal weekly support group for men working to rebuild trust and create safety.Sign up for my Rooted and Rising Healing mailing list to stay informed of all upcoming resources and events where we can connect. Join me at a Retreat or IntensiveThe Revive and Thrive Somatic Healing Intensive takes place October 6-9 in Spanish Fork, Utah and offers a structured, trauma-informed space to understand betrayal trauma, regulate your nervous system, and rebuild self-trust.Access free tools, guided practices, and educational resources designed to s
About Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal
Choosing To Stay After Infidelity & Betrayal is a podcast for couples navigating the aftermath of infidelity, betrayal, and broken trust. Whether you’re a betrayed partner making sense of the pain, or the partner who caused harm and wants to repair what was broken, this show offers trauma-informed tools, honest conversations, and grounded hope. Hosted by Hali Roderick, the podcast explores trust repair, emotional regulation, accountability, boundaries, and discernment—without rushing forgiveness or pushing a one-size-fits-all outcome.
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