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Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal: Daily Summaries Delivered
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- 5 days ago15 min
#159 Why Every Conversation Feels So Hard After Betrayal
After infidelity or betrayal, even simple conversations can feel loaded, tense, or unsafe.You may feel like:You’re trying to connect… but it keeps going wrongYour partner misunderstands youEvery conversation turns into conflictIn this episode, we explore the concept of mistranslation after betrayal—how both partners can be reaching for connection but experiencing each other as a threat due to nervous system activation.This episode takes a trauma-informed approach, emphasizing that emotional safety and recovery must come first before relational repair can begin.Connect With Me + Continue Your HealingIf today’s episode resonated with you, you don’t have to walk the healing journey after betrayal alone. I create trauma-informed resources, conversations, and learning experiences to support individuals and couples navigating infidelity, betrayal trauma, and relational repair.Here are a few ways to stay connected and continue your healing:Join the Help Her Heal weekly support group for men working to rebuild trust and create safety.Sign up for my Rooted and Rising Healing mailing list to stay informed of all upcoming resources and events where we can connect. Join me at a Retreat or IntensiveIf you’re craving deeper, in-person support and embodied healing, I’m helping facilitate upcoming experiences created specifically for betrayed partners.If you're ready for a deeper connection with your daughter(s), complete this interest list for more information about my upcoming retreat - Becoming Together: A Mother Daughter Retreat - hosted by myself and my two daughters in Sedona, Arizona on September 8 - 12th.Email Hali to join the Interest list for an upcoming course for parents called Intentional Parenting After Betrayal, hosted by Hali and her daughter, Morgan Ellsworth. The Rise, Renew, Restore Retreat in Costa Rica, happening July 30 - August 3, offers a more spacious, restorative experience focused on slowing down, reconnecting with your body, and healing in the presence of nature and supportive community. The Courage to Thrive Betrayal Trauma Intensive takes place August 25-28 in Spanish Fork, Utah and offers a structured, trauma-informed space to understand betrayal trauma, regulate your nervous system, and rebuild self-trust.Free Resources & DownloadsAccess free tools, guided practices, and educational resources designed to support nervous system regulation, self-trust, boundaries, and clarity after betrayal. 👉A Mini Guide to Mindful Healing After Betrayal👉Your First Steps to Rising After BetrayalUpcoming Course: Reclaiming You After BetrayalIf you’re ready for deeper guidance in a structured, supportive format, I am offering a course focused on healing after betrayal, rebuilding self-trust, and grounding into your values and identity—without rushing decisions about staying or leaving.This course is ideal for those who want support without individual coaching and at a pace that honors their nervous system. 👉 Join the Reclaiming You Waitlist!Listen to My Other PodcastIf you are a betrayed partner, I also host a second podcast called Rooted & Rising Healing After Betrayal, created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma.This show offers grounded, trauma-informed convers
- 1 weeks ago22 min
#158 What Actually Changes When Healing Is Happening
After betrayal, one of the most common questions couples ask is: “How do we know if we’re actually healing?” Are we moving forward… or just surviving? Is this real progress… or just a calm before another storm?Healing after infidelity or betrayal rarely arrives with certainty. It doesn’t usually feel dramatic, resolved, or even peaceful. Instead, healing often shows up in subtle shifts — more capacity, more consistency, and more emotional safety over time.In this episode, we explore the difference between false calm and real safety, and the quiet signs that healing is happening — even when things still feel uncertain.This conversation is trauma-informed and designed for both partners — whether you were betrayed or you are working to rebuild trust — and helps couples orient toward progress without rushing outcomes.Connect With Me + Continue Your HealingIf today’s episode resonated with you, you don’t have to walk the healing journey after betrayal alone. I create trauma-informed resources, conversations, and learning experiences to support individuals and couples navigating infidelity, betrayal trauma, and relational repair.Here are a few ways to stay connected and continue your healing:Join the Help Her Heal weekly support group for men working to rebuild trust and create safety.Sign up for my Rooted and Rising Healing mailing list to stay informed of all upcoming resources and events where we can connect. Join me at a Retreat or IntensiveIf you’re craving deeper, in-person support and embodied healing, I’m helping facilitate upcoming experiences created specifically for betrayed partners.If you're ready for a deeper connection with your daughter(s), complete this interest list for more information about my upcoming retreat - Becoming Together: A Mother Daughter Retreat - hosted by myself and my two daughters in Sedona, Arizona on September 8 - 12th.Email Hali to join the Interest list for an upcoming course for parents called Intentional Parenting After Betrayal, hosted by Hali and her daughter, Morgan Ellsworth. The Rise, Renew, Restore Retreat in Costa Rica, happening July 30 - August 3, offers a more spacious, restorative experience focused on slowing down, reconnecting with your body, and healing in the presence of nature and supportive community. Free Resources & DownloadsAccess free tools, guided practices, and educational resources designed to support nervous system regulation, self-trust, boundaries, and clarity after betrayal. 👉A Mini Guide to Mindful Healing After Betrayal👉Your First Steps to Rising After BetrayalUpcoming Course: Reclaiming You After BetrayalIf you’re ready for deeper guidance in a structured, supportive format, I am offering a course focused on healing after betrayal, rebuilding self-trust, and grounding into your values and identity—without rushing decisions about staying or leaving.This course is ideal for those who want support without individual coaching and at a pace that honors their nervous system. 👉 Join the Reclaiming You Waitlist!Listen to My Other PodcastIf you are a betrayed partner, I also host a second podcast called Rooted & Rising Healing After Betrayal, created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma.This show offers grounded, trauma-informed conversations, solo reflections, and tools to help you reconnect with yourself, reclaim your voice, and rise with clarity and strengt
- 2 weeks ago23 min
#157 Boundaries That Heal vs. Boundaries That Punish
After betrayal, boundaries become one of the most talked about — and most misunderstood — parts of healing. Many couples find themselves stuck in painful cycles where boundaries meant to create safety instead lead to more conflict, defensiveness, and distance.In this episode, we explore the difference between boundaries that heal and boundaries that punish, and why that distinction matters for couples trying to rebuild trust after betrayal.When boundaries become punitive, relationships often shift into an unhealthy parent/child dynamic — where one partner becomes the enforcer and the other becomes the one trying not to get in trouble. This dynamic can increase resentment, defensiveness, and emotional distance, making healing more difficult.Instead, we’ll talk about how healthy boundaries create safety, predictability, and nervous system regulation, helping couples move from power struggles into partnership.This episode is designed for both partners — whether you were betrayed or you’re working to rebuild trust — and offers a compassionate, trauma-informed approach to boundaries that support real healing.Connect With Me + Continue Your HealingIf today’s episode resonated with you, you don’t have to walk the healing journey after betrayal alone. I create trauma-informed resources, conversations, and learning experiences to support individuals and couples navigating infidelity, betrayal trauma, and relational repair.Here are a few ways to stay connected and continue your healing:Join me at a Retreat or IntensiveIf you’re craving deeper, in-person support and embodied healing, I’m helping facilitate upcoming experiences created specifically for betrayed partners. Register for my 90-minute Zoom workshop called Boundaries That Build Safety: Reclaiming Your Power After Betrayal. Happening Thursday, April 30th at 6 PM Pacific Time.Email Hali to join the Interest list for an upcoming course for parents called Intentional Parenting After Betrayal, hosted by Hali and her daughter, Morgan Ellsworth. The Courage to Thrive Betrayal Trauma Intensive takes place August 25-28 in Spanish Fork, Utah and offers a structured, trauma-informed space to understand betrayal trauma, regulate your nervous system, and rebuild self-trust. Free Resources & DownloadsAccess free tools, guided practices, and educational resources designed to support nervous system regulation, self-trust, boundaries, and clarity after betrayal. 👉A Mini Guide to Mindful Healing After Betrayal👉Your First Steps to Rising After BetrayalUpcoming Course: Reclaiming You After BetrayalIf you’re ready for deeper guidance in a structured, supportive format, I am offering a course focused on healing after betrayal, rebuilding self-trust, and grounding into your values and identity—without rushing decisions about staying or leaving.This course is ideal for those who want support without individual coaching and at a pace that honors their nervous system. 👉 Join the Reclaiming You Waitlist to be the first to Register!Listen to My Other PodcastIf you are still in your relationship—or in the process of discerning whether you want to stay—I invite you to also follow my podcast, Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal, where I speak to both partners about healing, accountability, and rebuilding trust. 👉 Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and BetrayalJoin My NewsletterStay connected through my newsletter, where I share reflections, trauma-informed insights, and updates on upcoming courses, workshops, retreats, and live experiences. 👉 Rooted and Rising WeeklyConne
- 3 weeks ago41 min
#156 Anger After Betrayal — What It Really Means & How to Work With It with Matt Wenger, LPC, CSAT, CCPS
Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions in betrayal trauma — but still shapes every interaction, every conversation, and every attempt at repair.In this powerful conversation, I’m joined by Matt Wenger, LPC, CSAT, CCSP to unpack what anger actually is, what it’s protecting, and why nervous system regulation is the key to responding rather than reacting.Because anger isn’t the problem. It’s the nervous system underneath it that determines what happens next.Matt is the Executive Clinical Director of Begin Again Institute, a treatment center that offers Trauma Based Intensives for Men seeking recovery from porn and sex addiction. He has served more than 1,500 families since 2019. Matt’s expertise is in men’s addiction, betrayal trauma, childhood trauma, couple’s recovery and the spiritual aspects of recovery. Matt holds a Master’s degree in Couples and Family Counseling and is credentialed as Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist (CCPS). If you would like to connect with Matt: beginagaininstitute.com matt.wenger@bai.care https://www.linkedin.com/in/matthew-wenger-19b883294/Connect With Me + Continue Your HealingIf today’s episode resonated with you, you don’t have to walk the healing journey after betrayal alone. I create trauma-informed resources, conversations, and learning experiences to support individuals and couples navigating infidelity, betrayal trauma, and relational repair.Here are a few ways to stay connected and continue your healing:Join me at a Retreat or IntensiveIf you’re craving deeper, in-person support and embodied healing, I’m helping facilitate upcoming experiences created specifically for betrayed partners.Register for my 90-minute Zoom workshop called Boundaries That Build Safety: Reclaiming Your Power After Betrayal. Happening Thursday, April 30th at 6 PM Pacific Time.Email Hali to join the Interest list for an upcoming course for parents called Intentional Parenting After Betrayal, hosted by Hali and her daughter, Morgan Ellsworth. The Courage to Thrive Betrayal Trauma Intensive takes place August 25-28 in Spanish Fork, Utah and offers a structured, trauma-informed space to understand betrayal trauma, regulate your nervous system, and rebuild self-trust.Free Resources & DownloadsAccess free tools, guided practices, and educational resources designed to support nervous system regulation, self-trust, boundaries, and clarity after betrayal.👉A Mini Guide to Mindful Healing After Betrayal👉Your First Steps to Rising After BetrayalUpcoming Course: Reclaiming You After BetrayalIf you’re ready for deeper guidance in a structured, supportive format, I am offering a course focused on healing after betrayal, rebuilding self-trust, and grounding into your values and identity—without rushing decisions about staying or leaving.This course is ideal for those who want support without individual coaching and at a pace that honors their nervous system.👉 Join the Reclaiming You Waitlist to be the first to Register!Listen to My Other PodcastIf you are still in your relationship—or in the process of discerning whether you want to stay—I invite you to also follow my podcast, Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal, where I speak to both partners about healing, accountability, and rebuilding trust.👉 Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and BetrayalJoin My NewsletterStay co
- Apr 16, 202649 min
#155 Resolving the Push-Pull Dynamic of the Trauma Bond with Dr. Nima Rahmany
In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Nima Rahmany to unpack the push-pull dynamic that so many couples experience after betrayal or relational trauma.He explains how our nervous system shifts between states like fight-or-flight, shutdown, and connection—and how real healing requires learning to regulate those states rather than just understanding the dynamics intellectually.Dr. Nima Rahmany is a nervous system and trauma specialist helping individuals heal attachment wounds and become trigger-proof in love and leadership. Formerly a chiropractor, he now guides clients through somatic and shadow integration to break free from toxic patterns and self-abandonment. Dr. Nima offers several programs designed to support this process, including his Attachment Style Quiz and the Trigger Proof Experience, a monthly program focused on emotional regulation and relationship transformation.If this episode resonated with you, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, or sharing it with someone who might need this conversation.Connect With Me + Continue Your HealingIf today’s episode resonated with you, you don’t have to walk the healing journey after betrayal alone. I create trauma-informed resources, conversations, and learning experiences to support individuals and couples navigating infidelity, betrayal trauma, and relational repair.Here are a few ways to stay connected and continue your healing:Join me at a Retreat or IntensiveIf you’re craving deeper, in-person support and embodied healing, I’m helping facilitate upcoming experiences created specifically for betrayed partners. Register for my 90-minute Zoom workshop called Boundaries That Build Safety: Reclaiming Your Power After Betrayal. Happening Thursday, April 30th at 6 PM Pacific Time.Email Hali to join the Interest list for an upcoming course for parents called Intentional Parenting After Betrayal, hosted by Hali and her daughter, Morgan Ellsworth. Later this year, the Courage to Thrive Betrayal Trauma Intensive takes place August 25 - 28 in Spanish Fork, Utah and offers a structured, trauma-informed space to understand betrayal trauma, regulate your nervous system, and rebuild self-trust. Free Resources & DownloadsAccess free tools, guided practices, and educational resources designed to support nervous system regulation, self-trust, boundaries, and clarity after betrayal. 👉A Mini Guide to Mindful Healing After Betrayal👉Your First Steps to Rising After BetrayalUpcoming Course: Reclaiming You After BetrayalIf you’re ready for deeper guidance in a structured, supportive format, I am offering a course focused on healing after betrayal, rebuilding self-trust, and grounding into your values and identity—without rushing decisions about staying or leaving.This course is ideal for those who want support without individual coaching and at a pace that honors their nervous system. 👉 Join the Reclaiming You Waitlist to be the first to Register!Listen to My Other PodcastIf you are a betrayed partner, I also host a second podcast called Rooted & Rising Healing After Betrayal, created specifically for women healing from betrayal traum
- Apr 9, 202615 min
#154 Healing Fatigue After Betrayal: When You’re Both Just Tired
After betrayal, many couples expect the hardest part to be the initial crisis. But what often comes next is something quieter—and just as real: healing fatigue.In this episode, we talk about what happens when the adrenaline wears off, the urgency fades, and both partners begin to feel emotionally and relationally exhausted. This episode offers validation, relational clarity, and practical ways for couples to stay engaged in healing without burning out or quietly disconnecting.You don’t heal betrayal trauma by trying harder—you heal it by creating enough safety to rest.Connect With Me + Continue Your HealingIf today’s episode resonated with you, you don’t have to walk the healing journey after betrayal alone. I create trauma-informed resources, conversations, and learning experiences to support individuals and couples navigating infidelity, betrayal trauma, and relational repair.Here are a few ways to stay connected and continue your healing:Join me at a Retreat or IntensiveIf you’re craving deeper, in-person support and embodied healing, I’m helping facilitate upcoming experiences created specifically for betrayed partners. Email Hali to join the Interest list for an upcoming course for parents called Intentional Parenting After Betrayal, hosted by Hali and her daughter, Morgan Ellsworth. Help Her Heal Intensive — a powerful 4-day men’s intensive — is designed for men who are ready to move beyond surface apologies and truly learn how to support their partner’s healing after betrayal. Held in a safe, confidential environment in Spanish Fork, Utah, this experiential program blends trauma-informed workshops, real-life practice, and expert coaching to help participants cultivate empathy, emotional capacity, and integrity in their relationships. This intensive offers experiential learning, feedback, and concrete strategies to grow personally and relationally. Later this year, the Rise, Renew, Restore Retreat in Costa Rica, happening July 13–18, offers a more spacious, restorative experience focused on slowing down, reconnecting with your body, and healing in the presence of nature and supportive community. The Courage to Thrive Betrayal Trauma Intensive takes place August 25-28 in Spanish Fork, Utah and offers a structured, trauma-informed space to understand betrayal trauma, regulate your nervous system, and rebuild self-trust. Free Resources & DownloadsAccess free tools, guided practices, and educational resources designed to support nervous system regulation, self-trust, boundaries, and clarity after betrayal. 👉A Mini Guide to Mindful Healing After Betrayal👉Your First Steps to Rising After BetrayalUpcoming Course: Reclaiming You After BetrayalIf you’re ready for deeper guidance in a structured, supportive format, I am offering a course focused on healing after betrayal, rebuilding self-trust, and grounding into your values and identity—without rushing decisions about staying or leaving.This course is ideal for those who want support without individual coaching and at a pace that honors their nervous system. 👉 Join the Reclaiming You Waitlist to be the first to Register!Listen to My Other PodcastIf you are a betrayed partner, I also host a second podcast called Rooted & Rising Healing After Betrayal,
- Apr 2, 202613 min
#153 Staying or Leaving After Betrayal — Discernment for Both Partners
After betrayal, one of the most painful questions couples face is: Do we stay… or do we leave?In this episode, we explore why that question feels so urgent after betrayal—and why clarity rarely comes through forcing a decision. This episode is for couples navigating the messy middle—where nothing is fully resolved yet, but healing is still possible.Staying is not a lifetime contract. Leaving is not always immediate clarity. Discernment is a process, not a deadline.Connect With Me + Continue Your HealingIf today’s episode resonated with you, you don’t have to walk the healing journey after betrayal alone. I create trauma-informed resources, conversations, and learning experiences to support individuals and couples navigating infidelity, betrayal trauma, and relational repair.Here are a few ways to stay connected and continue your healing:Join me at a Retreat or IntensiveIf you’re craving deeper, in-person support and embodied healing, I’m helping facilitate two upcoming experiences created specifically for betrayed partners. Email Hali to join the Interest list for an upcoming course for parents called Intentional Parenting After Betrayal, hosted by Hali and her daughter, Morgan Ellsworth. Help Her Heal Intensive — a powerful, immersive 4-day men’s intensive — is designed for men who are ready to move beyond and truly learn how to support their partner’s healing after betrayal. Held in a confidential environment in Spanish Fork, Utah, this experiential program blends trauma-informed workshops, real-life practice, and expert coaching to help participants cultivate empathy, emotional capacity, and integrity in their relationships. This intensive offers experiential learning, feedback, and concrete strategies to grow personally and relationally. Later this year, the Rise, Renew, Restore Retreat in Costa Rica, happening July 13–18, offers a more spacious, restorative experience focused on slowing down, reconnecting with your body, and healing in the presence of nature and supportive community. The Courage to Thrive Betrayal Trauma Intensive takes place August 25-28 in Spanish Fork, Utah and offers a structured, trauma-informed space to understand betrayal trauma, regulate your nervous system, and rebuild self-trust. Free Resources & DownloadsAccess free tools, guided practices, and educational resources designed to support nervous system regulation, self-trust, boundaries, and clarity after betrayal. 👉A Mini Guide to Mindful Healing After Betrayal👉Your First Steps to Rising After BetrayalUpcoming Course: Reclaiming You After BetrayalIf you’re ready for deeper guidance in a structured, supportive format, I am offering a course focused on healing after betrayal, rebuilding self-trust, and grounding into your values and identity—without rushing decisions about staying or leaving.This course is ideal for those who want support without individual coaching and at a pace that honors their nervous system. 👉 Join the Reclaiming You Waitlist to be the first to Register!Listen to My Other PodcastIf you are a betrayed partner, I also host a second podcast called Rooted & Rising Healing After Betrayal, created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma.This show offers grounded, trauma-informed conversations, solo reflections, and tools to help you re
- Mar 26, 202648 min
#152 The Individual Healing That Saved Our Marriage with Chance and Crystal
Today we’re talking about something that can feel counterintuitive when a relationship is in crisis: slowing down and focusing on individual healing first. So many couples rush to fix the relationship, but sometimes the path forward starts with healing me before healing us.I’m honored to be joined by Chance and Crystal, a couple who share their honest and powerful journey of how individual healing became the foundation for rebuilding trust, connection, and safety in their marriage. Together, we explore why couples work too early didn’t help, what each partner had to face on their own, how trauma responses shaped their relationship, and how nervous system regulation transformed the way they communicate.Whether you’re a betrayed partner, a betraying partner, or a clinician supporting couples, this episode offers hope, wisdom, and a roadmap for what healing can look like when each person does their own work first.Connect With Me + Continue Your HealingIf today’s episode resonated with you, you don’t have to walk the healing journey after betrayal alone. I create trauma-informed resources, conversations, and learning experiences to support individuals and couples navigating infidelity, betrayal trauma, and relational repair.Here are a few ways to stay connected and continue your healing:Join me at a Retreat or IntensiveIf you’re craving deeper, in-person support and embodied healing, I’m helping facilitate two upcoming experiences created specifically for betrayed partners. Email Hali to join the Interest list for an upcoming course for parents called Intentional Parenting After Betrayal, hosted by Hali and her daughter, Morgan Ellsworth. The Rise, Renew, Restore Retreat in Costa Rica, happening July 13–18, offers a more spacious, restorative experience focused on slowing down, reconnecting with your body, and healing in the presence of nature and supportive community. Later this year, the Courage to Thrive Betrayal Trauma Intensive takes place August 25-28 in Spanish Fork, Utah and offers a structured, trauma-informed space to understand betrayal trauma, regulate your nervous system, and rebuild self-trust. Free Resources & DownloadsAccess free tools, guided practices, and educational resources designed to support nervous system regulation, self-trust, boundaries, and clarity after betrayal. 👉A Mini Guide to Mindful Healing After Betrayal👉Your First Steps to Rising After BetrayalUpcoming Course: Reclaiming You After BetrayalIf you’re ready for deeper guidance in a structured, supportive format, I am offering a course focused on healing after betrayal, rebuilding self-trust, and grounding into your values and identity—without rushing decisions about staying or leaving.This course is ideal for those who want support without individual coaching and at a pace that honors their nervous system. 👉 Join the Reclaiming You Waitlist to be the first to Register!Listen to My Other Podcast If you are a betrayed partner, I also host a second podcast called Rooted & Rising Healing After Betrayal, created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma.This show offers grounded, trauma-informed conversations, solo reflections, and tools to help you reconnect with yourself, reclaim your voice, and rise with clarity and strength. 👉 <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/rooted-and-rising-healing-after-betrayal/id185
About Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal
Choosing To Stay After Infidelity & Betrayal is a podcast for couples navigating the aftermath of infidelity, betrayal, and broken trust. Whether you’re a betrayed partner making sense of the pain, or the partner who caused harm and wants to repair what was broken, this show offers trauma-informed tools, honest conversations, and grounded hope. Hosted by Hali Roderick, the podcast explores trust repair, emotional regulation, accountability, boundaries, and discernment—without rushing forgiveness or pushing a one-size-fits-all outcome.
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