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Chats From the Peak: A Marriage Pinnacle Podcast: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Marriage Pinnacle
Welcome to Chats From the Peak by Marriage Pinnacle—the relationship podcast where love, marriage, and emotional growth are priority. Hosted by Dr. Lara and Memi, two Nigerian-American besties, this show brings you honest, hilarious, and heart-centered conversations about what it truly takes to build and sustain healthy relationships. From cultural expectations to communication struggles, intimacy, and self-work, we’re unpacking the highs and lows of doing this "forever" thing with purpose and joy. Whether you’re married, dating, engaged, or in your healing era, this podcast is your go-to space for: Marriage support that’s actually realRelationship tips rooted in faith, culture & psychologySelf-help meets real conversations on love, boundaries, and growthAuthentic stories from people who don’t just want #couplegoals—they want real connectionJoin our Peak Seekers crew every other Thursday as we climb toward
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- 1 weeks ago1h 8m
You’re Not Losing Your Mind, You’re Losing Yourself ft Gilly of Nu Momish
CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction & Welcome01:49 Who Is Gilly & What Is Nu Momish03:44 How Nu Momish Was Born09:02 Why Moms Are Still Isolated in 202617:11 The Biggest Struggle Moms Face in Community 20:56 Transformation Stories From Nu Momish Girls24:47 Identity & The New Version of Yourself After Motherhood32:58 How Having a Baby Changed Gilly's Marriage40:47 Balancing Entrepreneurship, Marriage & Motherhood 51:20 Gilly's Personal Village & Letting People Pour Into You55:17 Tools, Takeaways & What's Next for Nu MomishNobody told you that having a baby would also mean losing yourself or that your marriage would feel like a stranger standing across the kitchen from you. And yet, here you are. In this episode, Dr. Lara and Memi sit down with Gilly of Nu Momish — a community leader who is literally going into moms' homes, folding their laundry, and reminding them they don't have to do this alone. But the conversation doesn't stop at motherhood. Gilly gets personal about what it looked like when she and her husband tried to navigate new parenthood, entrepreneurship, and identity all at the same time and how they fought their way back to each other. She shares the question her husband asks before every hard conversation. She talks about why "balance" is a lie and what boundaries actually look like when two business owners are trying to also be present parents and partners. And she gets honest about what it cost her to finally let people pour back into her after years of only pouring out. If you're a mom who's been running on empty, a wife who feels like she's lost somewhere between the baby monitor and the boardroom, or a couple trying to find each other again… this one is for you. Come get your stuff. What's one area of your life where you've been refusing help you actually need? Tell us in the comments.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/chats-from-the-peak-a-marriage-pinnacle-podcast--6737017/support.Check out 101 CHATS TO REACH THE PEAK Convo Cards- Carefully curated to generate healthy dialogue aimed at strengthening connections. If you are dating, engaged, or married, there is a deck for you!!!Grab your deck here ---- 101 Chats to Reach the Peak Be sure to like, comment and subscribe to keep up with all things Marriage Pinnacle!Stay on the Peak and subscribe to our Peak Seekers community at http://www.marriagepinnacle.com, where you'll be the first to know about new episodes, receive discount codes for exciting merch drops, and upcoming events!Follow us on:IG: @marriagepinnacle Twitter: @thapeakTiktok: marriagepinnacleFacebook: Marriage PinnacleYou'll get the most up-to-date information, free tips, and relationship support resources!
- 3 weeks ago42 min
How to Stay Connected to Your Spouse When Them Kids Take Over Everything
In honor of BACK TO SCHOOL, this episode is about them kids!!! Your kids didn't hurt your marriage. But the version of you that's been running on empty, managing logistics, and somewhere losing track of your spouse? That's worth talking about.In this episode of Chats from the Peak, Memi and Dr. Lara pull back the curtain on one of the quietest threats to a healthy marriage. It's not a big blow-up, not a betrayal, but the slow fade that happens when parenthood takes over and you stop tending to each other.They talk about how cultural expectations around motherhood and fatherhood shape who we allow ourselves to be in marriage, what disconnection actually looks and feels like from both sides, and why "I don't feel connected to you" is not the same thing as rejection even when it feels like it.You'll also walk away with five real questions to reconnect with your person this week, no therapy appointment required, no perfect timing needed. Just two people choosing each other on purpose, even in the middle of the chaos.Because what you don't water won't grow. And your marriage deserves to be tended to.When is the last time you really felt seen by your partner? Let's talk about it._____________________________________________________________________________CHAPTERS__________________00:00 Can a Bad Husband Be a Good Father?01:40 Welcome to Chats from the Peak03:00 Summer With the Kids Is Over (Thank God)04:46 The Transition Nobody Talks About07:00 Our Stories: When the Baby Came Too Soon13:15 How Children Unintentionally Become the Center of Your Marriage17:30 What You Don't Water Will Not Die22:09 The Real Cost of Disconnection25:57 Three Questions to Reopen the Door28:28 Five Practical Ways to Reconnect35:10 Five Check-In Questions for Couples38:23 Let Your Kids See You Choose Each OtherBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/chats-from-the-peak-a-marriage-pinnacle-podcast--6737017/support.Check out 101 CHATS TO REACH THE PEAK Convo Cards- Carefully curated to generate healthy dialogue aimed at strengthening connections. If you are dating, engaged, or married, there is a deck for you!!!Grab your deck here ---- 101 Chats to Reach the Peak Be sure to like, comment and subscribe to keep up with all things Marriage Pinnacle!Stay on the Peak and subscribe to our Peak Seekers community at http://www.marriagepinnacle.com, where you'll be the first to know about new episodes, receive discount codes for exciting merch drops, and upcoming events!Follow us on:IG: @marriagepinnacle Twitter: @thapeakTiktok: marriagepinnacleFacebook: Marriage PinnacleYou'll get the most up-to-date information, free tips, and relationship support resources!
- Aug 13, 20261h 11m
Putting Down Shame After Trauma: Dating, Trust & Emotional Safety with Michelle Valorae
What happens when your past has shaped the way you trust, date, attach, and protect yourself?In this episode of Chats From the Peak, Dr. Lara and Memi sit down with Michelle Valorae for an honest conversation about singleness, trauma, dating after painful experiences, emotional safety, boundaries, trust, and healing before partnership. Rather than focusing only on what happened to her, this conversation explores what can happen after the trauma. How does pain affect the people we choose? Can chaos feel more familiar than peace? How do you know whether you are protecting your heart or hiding from intimacy? And what does it look like to stay hopeful about love without making a relationship responsible for healing you? Together, we unpack questions like:How can trauma influence attraction and dating patterns?Can peace feel boring when you are used to emotional intensity?What is the difference between chemistry and familiarity?How do you know if your single season is helping you heal or helping you hide?When should you disclose trauma to someone you are dating?What does a healthy response to vulnerability look like?Can hyper-independence disguise itself as high standards?How do you build trust in yourself after painful relationship experiences?This episode is for anyone navigating dating, dating after trauma, singleness, emotional healing, trust issues, boundaries, relationship anxiety, vulnerability, healthy relationships, and preparing for love after heartbreak or disappointment.Being healed does not mean you will never be triggered again. Sometimes healing looks like learning how to recognize what is safe, communicate what you need, and remain open to love without abandoning yourself in the process.______________________________________________________________CHAPTERS__________________________________00:00 Content Warning & Episode Preview01:20 Welcome to Chats from the Peak02:15 Meet Michelle Valorae 03:50 Living Without Shame: The Freedom Journey09:08 Growing Up in Performance Culture12:30 The Night Everything Changed18:00 Finding Rock Bottom and the Road Back23:00 How Trauma Shapes Who You Choose33:00 The Power of Solitude vs. Isolation42:00 Practical Advice for Singles Still Becoming51:30 Knowing When and How Much to Share56:00 Contentment Without Compromise66:00 A Word for Whoever Needs It69:30 Rapid Fire RoundBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/chats-from-the-peak-a-marriage-pinnacle-podcast--6737017/support.Check out 101 CHATS TO REACH THE PEAK Convo Cards- Carefully curated to generate healthy dialogue aimed at strengthening connections. If you are dating, engaged, or married, there is a deck for you!!!Grab your deck here ---- 101 Chats to Reach the Peak Be sure to like, comment and subscribe to keep up with all things Marriage Pinnacle!Stay on the Peak and subscribe to our Peak Seekers community at http://www.marriagepinnacle.com, where you'll be the first to know about new episodes, receive discount codes for exciting merch drops, and upcoming events!Follow us on:IG: @marriagepinnacle Twitter: @thapeakTiktok: marriagepinnacleFacebook: Marriage PinnacleYou'll get the most up-to-date information, free tips, and relationship support resources!
- Jul 30, 202645 min
Pursue, Attack, Withdraw: Which Conflict Style Is Running Your Marriage?
Every couple has conflict. But have you ever noticed that you and your spouse seem to have the same argument over and over again, even when the issue changes?In this episode of Chats From the Peak, Memi and Dr. Lara break down four common conflict patterns that can shape how couples argue, communicate, disconnect, and repair: pursue-withdraw, attack-attack, pursue-pursue, and withdraw-withdraw. From the spouse who keeps pushing for an answer to the partner who shuts down, from couples who escalate together to those who both pursue resolution without knowing when to pause, these patterns can quickly turn a disagreement into a cycle. But understanding your conflict style is only the beginning. We’re talking about how to recognize the pattern, understand what is happening underneath it, and interrupt the cycle before conflict creates emotional distance.In this episode, you’ll learn:• The four common conflict styles and what they look like in marriage• Why some partners pursue while others withdraw• How couples unintentionally trigger each other’s conflict responses• Why both attacking and withdrawing can damage connection• How to identify the conflict pattern you and your spouse fall into• Practical ways to interrupt unhealthy conflict cycles• How to move from “me versus you” to “us versus the problem”• Why healthy marriages aren’t conflict-free, but learn how to navigate conflict differently If you and your spouse keep having the same fight in different forms, this conversation will help you understand why and give you tools to start changing the pattern. Because oftentimes the problem isn’t the problem, it’s the pattern. _______________________________________________________________________________CHAPTERS ________________________________________________00:00 Introduction01:23 Why Every Couple Has a Conflict Pattern04:36 Pattern 1: Pursue and Withdraw10:29 How to Break the Pursue-Withdraw Cycle14:53 Pattern 2: Attack and Attack18:35 How to Break the Attack-Attack Cycle19:01 Pattern 3: Withdraw and Withdraw23:05 How to Break the Withdraw-Withdraw Cycle26:40 Pattern 4: Pursue and Pursue33:39 Step-by-Step Tools to Interrupt Any Conflict Pattern40:15 Build Your Couples Conflict Action Plan43:06 Closing Thoughts**Take our free couples communication quiz** → https://marriagepinnacle.com/take-the-quiz/ **Sign up for our Communication Styles Decoded Masterclass* → https://thempschool.marriagepinnacle.com/products/live_events/communication-styles-decoded **Book a 1:1 coaching session** → https://calendar.app.google/qhmURBwrcaaRQ9dm8Your conflict pattern is not your character. It's a cycle. And cycles can be broken once you figure out how. Drop your conflict type in the comments, what are you: a pursuer, withdrawer, attacker, or over-processor?Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/chats-from-the-peak-a-marriage-pinnacle-podcast--6737017/support.Check out 101 CHATS TO REACH THE PEAK Convo Cards- Carefully curated to generate healthy dialogue aimed at strengthening connections. If you are dating, engaged, or married, there is a deck for you!!!Grab your deck here ---- 101 Chats to Reach the Peak Be sure to like, comment and subscribe to keep up with all things Marriage Pinnacle!Stay on the Peak and subscribe to our Peak Seekers community at http://www.marriagepinnacle.com, where you'll be the first to know about new episodes, receive discount codes for exciting merch drops, and upcoming events!Follow us on:IG: @marriagepinnacle Twitter: @thapeakTiktok: marriagepinnacleFacebook: Marriage PinnacleYou'll get the most up-to-date information, free tips, and relationship support resources!
- Jul 16, 20261h 10m
Get In the Room: How Community Actually Saves Your Marriage with Nai S. of Black Marriage Club
What inspires someone to dedicate their life to strengthening relationships?Welcome to the very first episode of 'Founders Corner,' a Marriage Pinnacle series that takes you behind the brands, organizations, and movements making an impact in the relationship space. In this inaugural conversation, Memi and Dr. Lara sit down with Nai Sobowale, founder of Black Marriage Club and Room to Relate, to explore the heart behind her mission to create meaningful spaces where couples can connect, grow, and thrive. Nai shares the story behind launching Black Marriage Club, the gap she recognized in the relationship community, and why building intentional spaces for Black couples has become her life’s work. Together, they discuss entrepreneurship, community building, marriage, and what it takes to create movements that strengthen families for generations. In this episode, you’ll discover:• The story behind the creation of Black Marriage Club• Why representation and community matter in healthy relationships• What founders often sacrifice to build something that serves others• How creating intentional spaces helps couples thrive• The importance of collaboration over competition in the relationship space• What legacy looks like when your mission is bigger than your businessWhether you’re a founder, creator, or simply passionate about building healthy relationships, this conversation offers inspiration, practical wisdom, and a behind-the-scenes look at the purpose driving one of today’s most impactful relationship communities. __________________________________________________________________________ CHAPTERS __________________________________________________________________________ 00:00 Welcome to Founders Corner with Nai S.02:06 Ice Breakers: Marriage Would Be Easier If...04:35 What Single People Romanticize About Relationships07:50 How Black Marriage Club Was Born from a Double Date13:45 Why Couples Need Community — Not Just Brunch19:30 The Real Reason People Won't Invest in Their Marriage25:10 Getting Men into the Room: Nai S. on the Hard Sell33:00 Social Media, Love, and Who's Really Watching40:15 The Role of Friendship and Pride in Marriage Crisis50:20 What Couples Actually Need in the In-Between Season61:30 Room to Relate, Thrive in Love Retreat, and What's NextBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/chats-from-the-peak-a-marriage-pinnacle-podcast--6737017/support.Check out 101 CHATS TO REACH THE PEAK Convo Cards- Carefully curated to generate healthy dialogue aimed at strengthening connections. If you are dating, engaged, or married, there is a deck for you!!!Grab your deck here ---- 101 Chats to Reach the Peak Be sure to like, comment and subscribe to keep up with all things Marriage Pinnacle!Stay on the Peak and subscribe to our Peak Seekers community at http://www.marriagepinnacle.com, where you'll be the first to know about new episodes, receive discount codes for exciting merch drops, and upcoming events!Follow us on:IG: @marriagepinnacle Twitter: @thapeakTiktok: marriagepinnacleFacebook: Marriage PinnacleYou'll get the most up-to-date information, free tips, and relationship support resources!
- Jun 25, 20261h 4m
Postpartum and The Unspoken Fourth Trimester with Dr. Nicole Kumi
What nobody tells you about having a baby is that two people are born that day and historically, we've only been preparing for one of them. Dr. Nicole Kumi, founder of The Whole Mom and maternal mental health expert, joins the ladies of Marriage Pinnacle for one of the most honest conversations about postpartum life, Black maternal health, and what the fourth trimester actually does to a marriage.If you've ever felt like a stranger in your own body after baby, fought your partner over who did more, or quietly wondered why you still don't feel like yourself two years later then this episode was made for you.What you'll learn in this episode:What the fourth trimester actually is (hint: it lasts way longer than 12 weeks) and why postpartum mental health symptoms are so easy to missHow the "strong Black woman" narrative directly impacts whether moms ask for help and what it costs families when they don't Why equal task-splitting doesn't mean equal mental load, and how couples can stop fighting each other and start fighting the problem together Practical tools for partners including the split-shift sleep strategy, initiative-taking, and the Sunday check-in The difference between postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and intrusive thoughts and when it's time to get professional support Dr. Nicole also opens up about her own postpartum journey, what she wishes she'd told her husband sooner, and why she frames her work as education and not therapy to reach women who wouldn't otherwise walk through the door. _______________________________________________________ CHAPTERS_______________________________________________________ 00:00 The Mental Load Is Not Equal01:35 Welcome & Meet Dr. Nicole Kumi03:58 Icebreaker: This or That With a Mom Twist10:11 What Is the Fourth Trimester Really15:15 Why We Prep for Birth But Not Recovery18:46 The Strong Black Woman Narrative & Postpartum Stigma28:55 How the Fourth Trimester Hijacks Intimacy33:13 Feeling Unsupported Even When He's Helping39:18 What Postpartum Actually Looks Like51:43 Practical Tools for Couples Right Now58:59 Dr. Nicole's Final Word to Couples & Rapid Fire **Find Dr. Nicole Kumi:**Dr. Nicole Kumi, PhD, PMH-C, is a maternal wellness expert, speaker, author, and founder of The Whole Mom. After experiencing postpartum depression and anxiety following the births of her own children, Nicole dedicated her work to changing the way we prepare and support mothers during one of the biggest transitions of their lives. Her work centers around the “birth of the mother," the understanding that when a baby is born, a woman is also undergoing a profound psychological, emotional, relational, and identity transformation.Through education, coaching, and community programs, Nicole helps mothers and families navigate postpartum before they reach a point of crisis. As a certified perinatal mental health professional and Postpartum Support International Board Member, Nicole is passionate about expanding the conversation beyond the baby and helping partners recognize their important role in protecting maternal mental health. Her mission is to build a future where every mother feels prepared, supported, and seen, not just as a parent, but as a whole person.Books: *Postpartum My Language*, *Butterfly Mama*, *Born Together: The Birth of the Mother* — all available on AmazonWebsite: thewholemom.com | Instagram: @nicolekumiPostpartum Support International Hotline: 1-800-944-4773 (staffed 24/7)**Subscribe, leave a review, and join our PeakSeeker community on Instagram.** If this episode helped you or someone you love, share it because someone in your circle needs this conversation right now.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/chats-from-the-peak-a-marriage-pinnacle-podcast--6737017/support.Check out 101 CHATS TO REACH THE PEAK Convo Cards- Carefully curated to generate healthy dialogue aimed at strengthening connections. If you are dating, engaged, or married, there is a deck for you!!!Grab your deck here ---- 101 Chats to Reach the Peak Be sure to like, comment and subscribe to keep up with all things Marriage Pinnacle!Stay on the Peak and subscribe to our Peak Seekers community at http://www.marriagepinnacle.com, where you'll be the first to know about new episodes, receive discount codes for exciting merch drops, and upcoming events!Follow us on:IG: @marriagepinnacle Twitter: @thapeakTi
- Jun 11, 202628 min
You Cannot Build a Real Marriage on a Curated Version of Yourself
What you don't say before the wedding can shake your entire marriage to its foundation. Memi and Dr. Lara are pulling back the curtain on the conversations most couples avoid, rush through, or flat-out skip and why those silences cost you later. From body counts to bankruptcy, chronic illness to childhood trauma, this episode breaks down exactly what belongs on the table before you say "I do" and gives you a practical framework to figure out what's your secret to keep and what's your partner's right to know.In this episode, you'll learn:Why health disclosures (chronic illness, STIs, fertility challenges, genotype) are non-negotiable before marriageHow to talk about debt, financial history, and money habits without it feeling like an interrogationWhat past relationship history, including previous marriages, children, and adoptions because your future spouse deserves to knowHow trauma, mental health diagnoses, and addiction histories show up in marriage whether you name them or notFive self-check questions to help you decide if something needs to be disclosed before you walk down the aisleWhether you're engaged, dating seriously, or already married and realizing some conversations got skipped, this episode meets you where you are.CHAPTERS _______________________________________________________________________________00:00 Introduction & Cold Open 00:28 Welcome to Chats from the Peak01:34 Today's Topic: What to Disclose Before Marriage03:58 Health Disclosures: Chronic Illness, STIs & Genotypes07:40 Finances: Debt, Credit & Money Conversations13:29 Past Relationships: How Much Is Too Much?18:03 Trauma, Mental Health & Addiction Histories22:34 The Observation Factor: Reading Family Dynamics23:10 Practical Takeaways: 5 Questions to Ask Yourself26:26 Closing Thoughts & Homework for CouplesBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/chats-from-the-peak-a-marriage-pinnacle-podcast--6737017/support.Check out 101 CHATS TO REACH THE PEAK Convo Cards- Carefully curated to generate healthy dialogue aimed at strengthening connections. If you are dating, engaged, or married, there is a deck for you!!!Grab your deck here ---- 101 Chats to Reach the Peak Be sure to like, comment and subscribe to keep up with all things Marriage Pinnacle!Stay on the Peak and subscribe to our Peak Seekers community at http://www.marriagepinnacle.com, where you'll be the first to know about new episodes, receive discount codes for exciting merch drops, and upcoming events!Follow us on:IG: @marriagepinnacle Twitter: @thapeakTiktok: marriagepinnacleFacebook: Marriage PinnacleYou'll get the most up-to-date information, free tips, and relationship support resources!
- May 28, 202633 min
Your Relationship Isn't Content: How to Stop Performing and Start Connecting
When did your relationship beome content instead of connection?You're posting the Valentine's Day roses, holding hands for the camera, and captioning it "blessed,"but the second the phone goes down, so does the act. You're performing a marriage for people who don't sleep in your bed, and it's exhausting.This episode calls out what nobody wants to admit: some of us are better at curating our relationships than actually living in them. We're breaking down how celebrating your love online can quietly become producing content for validation, comparison, and the approval of people who don't pay your bills.Memi and Dr. Lara explore the sneaky signs you've crossed into performance mode like planning spontaneous moments, posting only when things are good, or feeling obligated to share just to prove you're not struggling. They also reveal what you lose when you prioritize the aesthetic over the actual: intimacy, identity, and the ability to ask for help when things get hard.If you've ever caught yourself worrying more about how your marriage looks than how it feels, this one's for you. Real intimacy happens off-camera with a sincere apology, the quiet moments, and the messy middle that never makes it to the highlight reel.This week's challenge: Do one thing for your partner that has nothing to do with content. Then come tell us you did it!! Just drop "DONE" in the comments.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------CHAPTERS00:00 Introduction01:41 When the Aesthetic Isn't Giving Reality03:03 Social Media as a Stage for Fake Relationships04:14 Celebrating Love vs. Using It for Content06:06 Signs You're Performing Instead of Living09:58 Why We Produce Our Joy Online13:27 The Comparison Culture Trap17:27 The Fear of Looking Like You're Struggling20:14 What You Lose When You Perform26:29 How to Get Back to Being Real31:08 Homework: Do Something Just for You TwoBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/chats-from-the-peak-a-marriage-pinnacle-podcast--6737017/support.Check out 101 CHATS TO REACH THE PEAK Convo Cards- Carefully curated to generate healthy dialogue aimed at strengthening connections. If you are dating, engaged, or married, there is a deck for you!!!Grab your deck here ---- 101 Chats to Reach the Peak Be sure to like, comment and subscribe to keep up with all things Marriage Pinnacle!Stay on the Peak and subscribe to our Peak Seekers community at http://www.marriagepinnacle.com, where you'll be the first to know about new episodes, receive discount codes for exciting merch drops, and upcoming events!Follow us on:IG: @marriagepinnacle Twitter: @thapeakTiktok: marriagepinnacleFacebook: Marriage PinnacleYou'll get the most up-to-date information, free tips, and relationship support resources!
About Chats From the Peak: A Marriage Pinnacle Podcast
Welcome to Chats From the Peak by Marriage Pinnacle—the relationship podcast where love, marriage, and emotional growth are priority. Hosted by Dr. Lara and Memi, two Nigerian-American besties, this show brings you honest, hilarious, and heart-centered conversations about what it truly takes to build and sustain healthy relationships. From cultural expectations to communication struggles, intimacy, and self-work, we’re unpacking the highs and lows of doing this "forever" thing with purpose and joy. Whether you’re married, dating, engaged, or in your healing era, this podcast is your go-to space for: Marriage support that’s actually realRelationship tips rooted in faith, culture & psychologySelf-help meets real conversations on love, boundaries, and growthAuthentic stories from people who don’t just want #couplegoals—they want real connectionJoin our Peak Seekers crew every other Thursday as we climb toward
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