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Attract Don't Chase with Chitra Rochlani: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Stop chasing. Start attracting.
The feeling of exhaustion, the feeling of being drained. You've done the work. The therapy, the journaling, the courses. You're capable, driven, and doing everything right. And still something feels like it's just out of reach. That feeling is not a flaw. It's an invitation. Attract Don't Chase is a podcast for the woman who is ready to stop straining toward the life she wants and start drawing it in. Host Chitra Rochlani, spiritual guide, medium, and transformational teacher, brings you honest conversations about intuition, energy, alignment, and what it actually feels like to live from your head, heart, and gut. When we are aligned in who we truly are, we attract. We stop chasing. And everything changes.
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- 5 days ago9 min
How to Stop Taking It Personally When Someone Doesn't Show Up for You
It’s not always the big things that hurt.Sometimes it’s the very little things that take up the most space in our minds. Someone says they’ll call, and they don’t. A friend forgets something that was important to you. You show up for everyone, and when you finally need someone, they’re nowhere to be found.And then the thinking starts.Our minds are master storytellers. Give them one small seed of a thought and they will spin it into a whole story. “If I mattered to them, wouldn’t they have shown up?” Suddenly one missed call is no longer a missed call. It becomes a statement about the entire relationship. And then about you.They don’t care. I’m not important. I always come last.So we replay it over and over. We get upset. We withdraw. Or we try even harder to be noticed.I know this pattern well. In my chronic people-pleasing days, I would bend over backwards for everyone. I was always the strong one, the one who had it figured out, the one who didn’t need help. And then when nobody helped me, I didn’t say, “I’m good.” I became resentful. Nobody ever thinks about me.It took me a while to see that I had made it very easy for people to never show up for me. As I did the work to peel, feel and heal, that whole attitude changed. I began to understand that their behavior is not a measurement of my worth.Three things can be true at once1. What happened. They didn’t call. They didn’t show up. They didn’t follow through.2. What you made it mean. This is the most important part. “I’m not important to them” is a meaning you attached to the experience. I still catch myself doing it. When a potential client takes three days instead of one to sign up, my mind is already writing the story that they don’t think I’m good enough. We all do it.3. What you still need to find out. Was this a one-off, a misunderstanding, or a recurring pattern?You don’t have to excuse someone’s behavior to stop making it about your worth.And sometimes people really are being inconsiderate. Not taking it personally doesn’t mean you ignore someone who is genuinely hurting you. Lowering your standards or pretending it doesn’t hurt is not the answer. You still feel your feelings. Their behavior gives you information about how they are showing up. It doesn’t get to decide whether your worth goes up or down.Q-TIPWhen my kids were teenagers, a parenting coach gave me a tip I still use: Q-TIP. Quit Taking It Personally.A teenage brain is like a house with multiple renovations going on at once. They are trying to figure out who they are, and when we as parents tell them how to behave, they snap back, because it’s safe to do that with us. If I took it personally, I felt like the worst mother on earth. When I didn’t, I could say, “I see you’re having a bad day. Let me come back and talk to you when you’re in a better mood.”Same situation. Completely different response.Four questions for the next time someone lets you downAsk yourself what actually happened. No meaning, no emotion attached. Just the facts.Ask yourself what story you told yourself about what it meant.Then question that story. What else could be true? Maybe they were traveling. Maybe they forgot. Maybe something is going on in their life that I need to check in on. Your inner witch will tell you it’s your fault and you should have said it differently. Call out your inner warrior instead and ask, what else could be true here?And finally, ask yourself: what do I need now? Maybe it’s clarity about what happened. Maybe it’s a conversation. Maybe this is a pattern and you need a boundary, a little more distance, because being around this person all the time is not healthy for you. Or maybe you just need to let it go, because carrying it around is not serving you.Before you react, pause. Separate what you know from what you are assuming, before your mind goes on its storytelling, script-writing expedition.You can still speak up. You can still ask for what you need. You can still decide that a relationship isn’t working for you. The goal isn’t to stop caring. It’s to respond from a place of clarity instead of a painful story.You cannot control whether someone shows up for you. You can choose how you interpret it, what you communicate, and what you accept going forward.Stop chasing proof that you are worthy. You already are.Go deeper: the guided practice for paid subscribersIf this brought up a situation you’re in right now, I’ve created a deeper guided practice for my paid subscribers. We work through what happened, what it stirred up in you, and how to decide what you want to do next without abandoning yourself in the process.Join me live this Thursday, for freeEvery month I host Peel, Feel, Heal: the Aligned
- Sep 1, 202613 min
Why Everything Falls Into Place For Some People (And Not Others)
Some people seem to move through life with an ease everyone else is chasing.The right call comes at the right time. The parking spot opens up. They think of someone and that person texts. They double-book by accident and one meeting cancels itself. Things just seem to fall into their lap.We call those people lucky.People used to say it to me all the time when I was younger. “You’re so lucky. Everything works out for you. Things just fall into your lap.”I don’t think I was lucky. I think I was aligned. And I kept working on that alignment, over and over.Alignment is not a magic wandBefore you think I’m telling you that spiritual growth means you get everything you want, let me stop you there. That’s not it.People who have grown in alignment still have difficult days. They still get rejected. They still grieve. They still lose people. They still have bills, and they still get stuck in traffic.The difference is how they move through it.They don’t spend all their energy fighting reality. They don’t need to control every variable. They don’t read every setback as a catastrophe. Instead of asking “how am I going to solve this,” they tap into a deeper knowing that says, “I’ll do my part, and I’ll trust the rest to unfold.”That surrender changes everything.Head, heart, and gutThere are three forms of intelligence at work here.Your IQ helps you learn and understand. Your EQ helps you feel deeply. And your SQ, your spiritual intelligence, helps you trust what you know beyond what you can logically explain.When these three are disconnected, life feels exhausting.Say you hear a big layoff is coming. Your IQ gets practical: update the resume, reach out to the network, learn a new skill. Your emotions get loud: I’m scared, what if I fail, what if it all falls apart.And then, if you go deeper, your intuition speaks: what if this is a blessing in disguise? What if this is the opening I’ve been waiting for? What if I meet my next boss at a networking event, or by the water fountain? What if it could be that easy, because I’ve done everything to show up as myself?When your head, your heart, and your gut stop fighting each other, something shifts. Not just inside you. Your outer life starts to give you evidence of what magic looks like on an ordinary day.Look at the evidenceI see this over and over. I help people see through the logic, go deeper into the emotion, and then reach the energetic field underneath it all.As they do, their energy lifts. They start to see the same situation with more lightness. And from that lighter, higher place, what they attract begins to shift. Not because the solution appeared out of nowhere. Because they finally understood, truly, that they deserve better and can attract better.Your external world is evidence of your internal state.So today, look at the evidence in your own life. Is it full of ease and flow, or stress and chaos? Then look at the people around you. What are they attracting? What’s happening in their external world?Take that, sit with it, and notice what it’s telling you.Peel. Feel. Heal.If your outer life isn’t reflecting the growth you’ve done on the inside, there’s a missing link somewhere in your alignment. That’s the work I do with people, one on one, looking at what’s happening in your energetic field and showing you how to grow into your most aligned self.Explore 1:1 Intuitive Coaching, or book an Energy Reading if you want to look at your energetic field together.With so much love and light, Chitra Get full access to Chitra Rochlani at thewarriormindset.substack.com/subscribe
- Aug 25, 202612 min
Soul or Ego? The Question That Changed How I Make Decisions
Before you spend the next dollar.Before you make your next purchase, your next decision, before you say yes to the next big thing.Ask yourself one question:Is this coming from my soul, or is it coming from my ego?I promise you, that one question, asked honestly, will change your life.It changed mine.And I want to give you the tool underneath it, because the question on its own is easy to answer badly.The SymbolA few years ago I was channeling messages for a client. What came through was not a sentence.It was a shape.Picture an infinity symbol. The sideways eight. Two loops, and one point in the centre where they cross.One side is the soul.The other side is the ego.I have used it every single day since to answer almost any question that comes up in my life.Ego Is Not What You Think It IsHere is where most people get stuck, so let me be very clear.When I say ego, I do not mean pride.I do not mean arrogance.Ego is the material and physical world.The body you live in. Money, career, possessions, status, achievements, survival needs.All of it.You need the ego world.You are in a human body, and that body has to eat and sleep and be housed and be paid.There is nothing shameful in that.The soul side is the other set of things you arrived with.Curiosity. Intuition. Wonder. Presence. Love. Connection.All the qualities you were born fluent in and then slowly learned to distrust.And the centre of those two loops, that crossing point, is home.That is where we are meant to live.We cannot be all soul and no ego.We cannot be all ego and no soul.There is a reason this human form arrives with both intact.How We DriftWe are born at the centre.Look at a baby, or any young child. They live from that centred place.They are led by the soul, so they are full of wonder and curiosity and joy.When they have a need in the ego world, they tell you about it, loudly. And the moment that need is met, they go straight back to the centre.Somewhere while we are growing up, that stops.We get skewed.Instead of living centred and dipping into the material world to meet real needs, we move in and try to grow there.And here is the part that I find hardest to say, because I lived it:We start using the soul’s gifts to feed the ego world.We use our intuition to win.We use our emotional connection to sell.Our presence stops being presence and becomes a way of impressing people.Visualise the loop now.The ego side swells and gets bigger and bigger.The soul side shrinks and gets smaller and smaller.And the centre, the home point, drifts away from us.So Why Aren’t We Happier?If more in the ego world were supposed to make us happier, we would have arrived by now.We have more than any generation before us.And still we are seeking.Joy.Meaning.Purpose.Something we cannot quite name.This has been happening for generations.I do not think we are broken.I think we have been growing the wrong side of the loop.And the correction is not what people assume.The goal is not to shrink the ego and grow the soul, because that is still an imbalance, just pointing the other way.It is not sustainable and it is not the point.The goal is to return to centre, and to use the ego material world as a tool and not as the destination.What My Guides Told Me About Your BodyA lot of what I understand about this came through in readings.I have been told by my guides:You have a physical body. We do not.We can give you thoughts, and there is only so much we can do with thoughts.But you, in your physical form, have hands.Hands that can make a meal and carry it to someone who has none.Hands that can build a home for a person who does not have one.Legs that can take you places.A mouth that can communicate a feeling.A heartbeat that can connect and stay.You can create far more good karma in a physical body than you ever could in an energy body.That is why this life is rare, and why it is valuable.The human experience is not a distraction from the spiritual work. It is the instrument.The PracticeSo what if we used this loop to check in before every decision?I started doing that, and it has completely liberated the way I decide things.If I am spending money on something, I ask:Is this going to feed my soul, or is it merely feed
- Aug 4, 20268 min
You are not here to fix anyone
Hi friend,Have you ever caught yourself thinking, if I could just get my spouse to communicate better. If I could just get my child to make better choices. If I could just get my boss to appreciate me. If I could just get my parents to understand me.We spend so much of our lives trying to improve and change the people around us. But what if that was never our job?Here is something I want you to sit with. People do not become rescuers because they are controlling. They become rescuers because somewhere along the way they learned that if the people around them are okay, then they will finally feel okay. Sometimes it starts in childhood. Sometimes in people pleasing, and I know that one well. Sometimes in perfectionism. Most of the time, in trauma.Fixing others becomes a way to create safety.Ego asks one question. Your soul asks another.The ego says, if they change, then I will finally be happy. If they heal, then I will feel peaceful. If they become who I need them to be, then everything will be okay.That is chasing. You are waiting on a future version of someone else before you let yourself have peace.Your soul is not asking how do I fix them. Your soul is asking, what am I here to learn through this relationship?That is a radically different question. Because suddenly the difficult spouse, the anxious child, the critical parent, the demanding boss, they become teachers instead of problems.Peel. Feel. Heal.Instead of asking why are they like this, ask what is this bringing up in me.Peel away the conditioning. Feel what sits underneath the reaction. Heal the part of you that still believes your peace depends on someone else changing.This is where your freedom lives.Something I say oftenIf I had the same conditioning as some of the most difficult people I meet, I might have become exactly like them. Maybe worse. I do not know. And every time I think of that, I feel grateful. Their conditioning is so hard to break that they cannot even see it. That is not something to resent. That is something to have compassion for.And what if that toxic boss is here to teach you how to speak up for yourself? How to stand up for yourself and for others? Because once you learn that, you become the kind of leader who is there for the people who have no voice.The shiftStop fixing. Start becoming. Calmer. More compassionate. More authentic. More aligned.People do not change because we pressure them. They change because they experience something different in our presence.You are not here to rescue anyone. You are not here to carry everyone else’s healing. You are not here to convince people to grow. You are here to become so deeply aligned with your authentic self that your life becomes an invitation.One more thing. When you try to fix someone, you are quietly telling them they are not good enough as they are. But when we truly see people, hear them, and love them while honoring our own boundaries, we create the safety for them to choose growth on their own.So this week, ask yourself: where am I trying to fix someone, when my soul is simply inviting me to love, learn, and let go?There is a reason you are reading this. There is a reason you are still here.🎧 Listen to the full episode: Spotify · Apple Podcasts · YouTubeIf this one stirred something, these are the doors that are open:* 1:1 Intuitive Coaching* Energy Reading Session* ALIGN CommunityWith so much love and light,Chitra Get full access to Chitra Rochlani at thewarriormindset.substack.com/subscribe
- Jul 21, 202616 min
The 5 Foundations of Real Spiritual Growth
You go to the yoga class and feel great. The meditation, the retreat, the breathwork. You shed so much. You come home lighter.Then Monday happens.Before you know it you are back in the chaos, the stress, the frustration, already counting down to the next escape.I have been watching this pattern in the spiritual world, and it is the same one I watched for years in health and fitness. Every year, two or three new diets. New classes. Each one promising to be the way out. And still, so many of us struggled. Not because we did not know what to do, but because we were sold information instead of integration.Fitness came down to five simple truths for me: how you eat, how you move, your stress, your sleep, your mindset. No system can argue with those.So I asked myself, what are the foundational truths of finding peace, love and joy? The ones no one selling you a modality can deny?Here they are.1. Awareness. Of who you are, why you are the way you are, and who made you this way. Your thoughts, your beliefs, your patterns.2. Clarity. Awareness gives you clarity, and clarity lets you act.3. Courage. This is the big one. I could read every book about people-pleasing. I understood the tools. But nothing changed until I found the courage to make the shift in my own life. My default is still to say yes and give. Now I pause. I can only give from a place of fullness.4. Alignment. As you do the work, you naturally shed the old beliefs that held you back.5. Attraction. From alignment, what you have dreamed of starts coming to you. Not chased. Attracted.The modality is not the cure. It is the tool that points you toward the path. A breathwork session might help you reach the root. But if you do not take that learning and live it, nothing changes.Spirituality was never meant to be a business idea. It was meant to be a path back to yourself.So here is my invitation. Name one thing in your life you want gone. Then ask what it would take to integrate what you already know about it. Courage? Help? Accountability?Information isolates. Integration connects.Go within. Break free from there. That is where it all begins.If your modalities are not clicking and you want to understand why, book a free discovery call with me. The only way I know how to work is deep.Book here: https://www.fitwarriorlife.com/service-page/discovery-call-consultationIn alignment,Chitra Get full access to Chitra Rochlani at thewarriormindset.substack.com/subscribe
- Jul 7, 202617 min
When FEAR shows up, it impacts our mind, body and energy!
Picture this: you’re on a plane, the fear of flying kicks in, and you sit there telling yourself “I’m fine, I’m fine, everything’s okay.” Your heart races anyway. Your breath goes shallow anyway. Your body responds to the emotion whether you give it permission or not.Emotions need about 90 seconds to be released. When we don’t give them that outlet, they don’t disappear. Studies now show suppressed emotions increase inflammation and bring down our immunity. Your dog knows this instinctively, it shakes off stress after a scuffle. We’ve trained ourselves out of it.In this episode, I share the story of a woman with chronic back pain who had been to every doctor and tried every medication. When I tapped into her energy, it was clear this was more than physical. Years of not standing up for herself at work, staying silent with her husband, absorbing her teenager’s anger. It had to go somewhere.I also talk about the energy of toxic people and places, why forest bathing became a national health strategy in Japan, and what happened the morning after my first few hours playing crystal singing bowls.Whatever you’re feeling this week, allow yourself to feel it, acknowledge it, express it, and release it. The problem starts when you hold it in.And if you’re local to Livingston, join me for my next pop up meditation LIVE in-person.Warrior On,Join the next FREE workshop: Raise Your VibeBuy The BookThe Warrior Mindset BookNeed more support? Join my communityJoin the ALIGN CommunityCurious what you’re holding on to? Book a 1:1 Energy Reading SessionSocials:InstagramWebsite Get full access to Chitra Rochlani at thewarriormindset.substack.com/subscribe
- Jun 23, 202610 min
Stop Doing, Start Being: How Constant Productivity Is Costing You Peace
We’re trained to do, do, do. More productivity, more output, more accomplishment. But all that doing isn’t getting us what we actually want: more peace, more love, more joy.In this episode I talk about the difference between being a doer and a “beer” (yes, being) and why most of us have forgotten how to be still long enough to feel anything at all.When we suppress our emotions, they don’t disappear. They settle into the body as dis-ease. I share how I’ve learned to connect physical ailments to their emotional roots, a healing session with a woman who finally felt lighter after carrying years of pressure, and the everyday magic that shows up when you stop racing and start being present.Plus simple, doable ways to bring more being into a life that’s already full.In this episode:- Why productivity culture isn’t delivering peace- How suppressed emotions show up in the body- The link between physical pain and emotional patterns- Where intuition actually comes from (and what blocks it)- Small ways to add intention to the doing you already doBooks mentioned: The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, You Can Heal Your Life by Louise HaySo tell me in the comments: how you being today?Work with me: https://fitwarriorlife.com Get full access to Chitra Rochlani at thewarriormindset.substack.com/subscribe
- Jun 9, 202612 min
How to Find Joy Within When Life Feels Hard (Joy vs Happiness)
We chase a lot of things. The career, the to-do list, the image of the perfectly put-together life. And somewhere in all that chasing, we forget the one thing that was never out there to begin with.Joy.Let me start by clearing something up, because we use these two words like they mean the same thing, and they do not. Happiness is fleeting. It comes from outside us. A moment, a thing, a person, an achievement. It arrives, and then it leaves, because that is its nature.Joy is different. Joy is a deep sense of contentment and wellbeing that lives inside you. It is a high vibrational state, and it stays. Happiness comes and goes based on what is happening around you. Joy persists from within, and you can tap into it even during life’s most difficult, inevitable challenges.That is the whole point. We do not have to wait for our circumstances to be perfect to feel joy.The story that changed how I think about hard momentsI saw a video recently that I have not stopped thinking about.A man was at an airport, his flight delayed, and he had somewhere important to be. Over a thousand people were waiting to hear him speak at a conference. As he approached the counter, the woman working it looked at him and told him, before he even spoke, that there was no chance of him flying out until that delayed flight decided it was ready.Most of us know exactly how this scene usually goes. Frustration. Tension. Two exhausted people on opposite sides of a counter, both bracing for a fight.He did something else. He looked at her and said he believed she was an incredible problem solver, that the airline pays her good money because she is good at solving problems. Not as manipulation. As a genuine choice to bring a little joy into a frustrating moment.And it shifted everything. She smiled. She asked what the problem was. She started working her computer while he worked his phone, and instead of complaining at each other, they were both quietly working to bring each other a small win. He found a flight that would get him there thirty minutes early. And just as he went to book it, she called out across the counter that she had found him a seat on a flight leaving in half an hour, one that would get him there three hours early.A simple infusion of joy changed the entire outcome.Joy is something we receive, and something we spreadHere is what I took from that story. The next time I am stuck in a frustrating situation, I want to ask myself a different question. Not “how do I get through this” but “how can I bring joy here, not just to me, but to someone else in this with me.”I do this at airports already. When a flight is delayed and there is a baby crying, I will catch the child’s eye and make faces, smile, play a little peek-a-boo from a few seats away. The baby gets distracted and stops. And I get the most beautiful, grateful nod from a mother who was too exhausted to think of it herself.It is so easy to get caught up in the frustration. It is just as easy, with one small pause, to think about the joy we can offer each other in moments of crisis. It only takes that mindset shift.A little experimentI went around recently asking people what brings them joy, recording them on the spot with no time to prepare. I turned it into some fun reels you can watch.👉 Watch the reel here: What brings you joy?Here is what amazed me. Before anyone even answered, a smile spread across their face. They got curious. Excited. “Ooh, what brings me joy? Let me think.” Two people actually broke into dance and song after talking about their grandkids and their work.Just talking about joy brought them joy. We do not even have to be living the experience. Reflecting on it is enough to lift us.What is your focus telling you?So I want to leave you with some honest questions.What brings you joy? And what stops you from focusing on it?Where is your attention going, all day, every day? Are you focused on the chase? On hustling for what you need? On building an image of perfection, the well-behaved family, the put-together life, so no one can judge you? On giving and giving and giving until there is nothing left?Wherever your focus lands, it will show you exactly what is standing between you and your joy.A few of the things that bring me joyI wrote mine down, so here they are:* Talking to loved ones. A video call with my cousins, my mom, my sister in India, or my kids checking in from college or work. That fills me up.* Listening to my bird app. Every time I hear chirping I open it and it tells me the names of the birds and shows me their pictures, and I feel so connected to them.* Watching hummingbirds drink from the nectar in my backyard.* Finding signs and sy
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About Attract Don't Chase with Chitra Rochlani
The feeling of exhaustion, the feeling of being drained. You've done the work. The therapy, the journaling, the courses. You're capable, driven, and doing everything right. And still something feels like it's just out of reach. That feeling is not a flaw. It's an invitation. Attract Don't Chase is a podcast for the woman who is ready to stop straining toward the life she wants and start drawing it in. Host Chitra Rochlani, spiritual guide, medium, and transformational teacher, brings you honest conversations about intuition, energy, alignment, and what it actually feels like to live from your head, heart, and gut. When we are aligned in who we truly are, we attract. We stop chasing. And everything changes.
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