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by Erika Alsborn
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- 4 weeks ago29 min
120: Why you are sexually disconnected (and how to come back to yourself)
In this episode, I unpack what it really means to feel sexually disconnected and disempowered as a woman. I explore why so many women feel numb, shut down, resentful, bored, or distant from their sexuality – and why this is far more common than most people realize. I talk about the roots of sexual disconnection, from conditioning and negative experiences to lack of education, self-knowledge, and true safety. Most importantly, I share how to begin rebuilding a loving, empowered relationship with your body, desire, sensuality, and pleasure. In this episode: What sexual disconnection can look like in real life Why many women feel sex is “for someone else” How shame, numbness, and resentment are often learned patterns The missing link between sensuality and sexuality Why self-knowledge is the foundation of sexual empowerment How to begin reconnecting with desire, pleasure, and your body What becomes possible when sexuality finally feels like it belongs to you Join my Sensuality course: https://www.erika-alsborn.com/zen-suality Join waitlist for my year-long mastermind SHAMELESS: https://www.erika-alsborn.com/shameless-waitlist Related episodes: 113: Are you a teen or a woman in the bedroom? → 111: Flirting, feeling confident, masculine women, sexual growth in a relationship →
- Apr 2, 202625 min
119: Not in the mood for sex? Let’s talk alternatives
In this episode, I explore the nuance of sexual intimacy in long-term relationships and what it really means to meet each other in desire, even when you’re not fully “in the mood.” I share the deeper context behind a recent (and quite controversial) post about offering a blowjob as an alternative form of intimacy and unpack why this idea sparked so much conversation. We dive into the differences between male and female arousal, spontaneous vs. responsive desire, and why sexuality is far more complex than a simple yes or no. This episode opens up a more expansive way of thinking about intimacy, where communication, choice, and mutual satisfaction take the lead. This is an invitation to move beyond rigid definitions of sex, to explore what feels truly aligned for you, and to approach intimacy from a place of empowerment, generosity, and self-awareness. In this episode: Why desire differs between men and women The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire Why intimacy doesn’t always have to include penetration How to stay connected when you’re not in the mood for sex The role of communication, consent, and boundaries Reframing giving (including oral sex) as a choice, not an obligation How sexual empowerment transforms your relationship Related episodes: 67: Embrace your desire style: explaining spontaneous vs. responsive desire → 69: The ultimate desire hack: how to have more sex in your longterm relationship →
- Mar 17, 202624 min
118: rest and relaxation – essential for well being and PLEASURE
In this episode, I explore the art of relaxation and why so many women struggle to truly rest. I share my personal journey of moving out of “go-go girl mode,” how quitting caffeine changed my relationship with my body, and why modern culture keeps us stuck in chronic stress. We dive into the concept of yin and yang energy, why relaxation is essential for hormonal health and pleasure, and how learning to rest can transform your nervous system, libido, and connection to your body. This episode is both an invitation and a permission slip to slow down, reconnect with yourself, and discover the power of rest as a pathway to deeper pleasure and self-awareness. In this episode: Why modern culture keeps us trapped in constant productivity and stress The difference between yin (relaxation) and yang (action) energy How chronic stress affects hormones, libido, and pleasure Why many women struggle to feel safe enough to truly rest Simple practices to access relaxation in your body The connection between nervous system regulation and sexual pleasure What real self-care looks like (and what it isn’t) Related episodes: 89: Productivity vs pleasure – how to make space for pleasure in burn-out culture →
- Mar 3, 202633 min
117: Choosing family in a culture of “having it all”
In this episode, I share a deeply personal reflection on turning 40, living in the in-between without a home, and what it has taught me about identity, nervous system regulation, and belonging. I talk about choosing family over constant movement, how simplifying life has changed my relationship to desire and sexuality, and why prioritizing both quality and quantity time with children feels radically countercultural. We explore the grief and surrender that come with big life transitions, the myth of “having it all,” and how motherhood reshaped my values, attachment patterns, and sense of self. This episode is an honest look at choosing a slower, more rooted life—and finding pleasure, intimacy, and aliveness inside it. In this episode: Turning 40 and living in the “messy middle” without a home Stress, caffeine, and how they affect mood, libido, and arousal Roots, family, and community as nervous system support Motherhood as identity shift—and choosing a slower, simpler life Quality + quantity time with kids, and why it feels countercultural Letting go of “having it all” while still staying connected to desire
- Feb 17, 202624 min
116: Q&A - fantasy, self-touch, and body signals
In this episode, I answer three honest and intimate questions from my community about mental arousal and fantasy, shame or disgust around self-touch, and burning or sensitivity at the vaginal entrance. We explore why the brain is essential for pleasure, where the “dirty” feeling around touching yourself comes from, and how to listen to your body when it communicates through sensation rather than symptoms. In this episode: Why mental arousal and fantasy are a natural and necessary part of pleasure Letting go of judgment around needing erotic imagination to feel turned on Where the “dirty” feeling around self-touch is learned and how to change it Psychological, subconscious, and somatic roots of sexual shame Burning or sensitivity at the vaginal entrance as tension or stored communication How to gently explore sensation through presence, touch, and body awareness Related episodes: 109: Q&A: Sex questions we’re afraid to ask (but should) → 107: Q&A – rebuilding desire, expressing needs, unhealthy fantasies, overcoming shame and MORE →
- Feb 4, 202624 min
115: life updates + my season of expansion
In this episode, I drop in with an honest life update after a long pause from the podcast. I share what the past months have really been like behind the scenes—sleep deprivation, sickness, moving homes during the holidays, intense mothering seasons, and the slow return to myself. We talk about pride in motherhood, being seen and appreciated, coming out of a year of deep healing, and what it truly takes to expand without burning yourself out. In this episode: Life updates after winter, sickness, moving, and parenting through exhaustion Sleep deprivation, nervous system regulation Being seen, honored, and appreciated in partnership Moving from deep healing into expansion, creativity, and momentum Guilt, fear, impatience, and choosing joy, boundaries, and self-trust JOIN SLUT ACADEMY 👉 JOIN THIS LIFE CHANGING PROGRAM https://www.erika-alsborn.com/s-academy Related episodes: 25: Slut Academy 26: The Slut Archetype – what and who is she and why she'll revolutionize your sex life! 97: Erotic expansion – understanding and playing with domination and submission 34: The importance of imperfect pleasure and sex
- Dec 11, 202534 min
114: Q&A - arousal drop after Clit Os, disgust when touching yourself, and getting back into intimacy after 10 months
In this episode, I answer three powerful questions from my community about orgasms, disgust in self-touch, and how to find your way back to sex after a long dry spell in a relationship. We explore the refractory period after clitoral orgasm, how to “edge” your pleasure to expand into vaginal orgasms, what’s really behind feeling icky or nauseous when you touch your body, and how to reconnect intimately with your partner when sex has felt clunky or disappointing. In this episode: Why pleasure is a choice and how attention grows desire The refractory period after clitoral orgasm and what to do about it Using edging to expand pleasure and support vaginal orgasms Disgust and nausea during self-touch as a protective, learned response Somatic and emotional tools for healing shame and body aversion Rebuilding sexual connection with your partner after months without intimacy JOIN SLUT ACADEMY 👉 JOIN THE WAITLIST HERE to get 50% off enrollment, exclusive bonuses, first access to spots, and my erotic diaries newsletter: https://www.erika-alsborn.com/s-academy-waitlist Related episodes: 25: Slut Academy 26: The Slut Archetype – what and who is she and why she'll revolutionize your sex life! 97: Erotic expansion – understanding and playing with domination and submission 34: The importance of imperfect pleasure and sex
- Dec 4, 202538 min
113: Are you a teen or a woman in the bedroom?
In this episode, I unpack a powerful question from a listener who shared that while she’s a fully capable adult woman in every area of life (career, motherhood, friendship, creativity), but her sexuality still feels frozen at age twelve. She resonated deeply with my reel “Are you a teen or a woman in the bedroom?” and described the confusion of being perceived by others as sensual while internally feeling disconnected from her own body. Together, we explore what it means to evolve from that teen-like sexual identity into an embodied, confident adult woman… and how vulnerable, confusing, and awakening that transition can be. In this episode, I talk about: Why your erotic self can lag decades behind your adult self-image Early sexual imprinting and how it silently shapes your confidence today The “capable woman” identity and why sexuality is the one place it often collapses Vulnerability with your partner: why it feels terrifying and why it matters How repressing emotions shuts down your pleasure and orgasmic potential Dropping performance and approaching sexuality as a learnable skill Identity-based habits that support your evolution into an empowered sexual woman Download the Quick Start Guide to Identity-Based Habits by James Clear to map out daily actions that support your new mature sexual identity. Join the Slut Academy waitlist (sae 50% on enrollment + bonuses + frist access to limited spots) to walk this rite of passage with me over four months and become the free, powerful, orgasmic woman you came here to be: https://www.erika-alsborn.com/s-academy-waitlist Powerful resource, a guided meditation, from the pod: 85. Empowering Narrative meditation
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About Yes, please...
This podcast is for you if you are dying to experience your most satisfying and mind-blowing sex, pleasure and orgasms – which inevitably means exploring and embodying your sexual confidence, sensual power, and learning the art of eroticism and feminine delight!If you want to embody a deep sense of “Yes, Please… I want MORE and BETTER sex, pleasure and orgasms!” – then you’re gonna love my podcast.The things you’ll learn here will expand and elevate your theoretical knowledge about your body, sexuality and pleasure AND birth…it will inspire you to explore all this knowledge in your life in a practical way and prioritize pleasure and sex as something for YOU – which obviously will change your whole life in the most amazing ways!Pleasure Rebels Fb group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/plsrebelsIG: https://www.instagram.com/erikaalsborn/Website: www.erikaalsborn
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