I Don't Have a Tidy Ending | Alexandra Alden on Running From Your Own Power and What Stopped Her

Content note: this episode contains references to childhood emotional violence, alcoholism in the family, addiction, grief, and the loss of a sibling. Alexandra Alden has done a lot. She founded a 500-person community. Consulted with the World Food Programme. Produced events across multiple countries. Travelled, built, created. And described herself as half disappearing through all of it.   Always moving right before anything got real. Right before anyone could get close enough to truly see her. Not out of restlessness but out of something much quieter and much harder to name. A fear not of failure but of her own power.   In this conversation, Alexandra traces the arc from a childhood of walking on eggshells in a home with alcoholism and emotional violence, through decades of movement, building and leaving, to the night of the soul that eventually cracked it all open. The toxic relationship that became the mirror. The plant medicine. The grief work. The loss of her brother in January of this year. And the grief dance that has become her medicine for others.  Alexandra works with people on moving out of emotional shutdown and back into instinct, feeling and embodied presence. She is also the founder of the Liberation Atelier programme and the creator of the Grief Dance. This is one of the most honest conversations I have had on this podcast. Not because Alexandra has it figured out. But because she doesn't. And she said so. Out loud. In the middle of it. TIMESTAMPS 02:59  Half disappearing  |  what it actually feels like from the inside 08:03  Not the fear of failure  |  the fear of her own power 10:50  Stepping out of the story of her family of origin 14:45  The different countries, the different exits  |  what was really happening 21:01  The family of origin  |  alcoholism, emotional violence, the OCD diagnosis at eight 27:00  The masters degree, the UN, the blockchain project 29:30  The toxic relationship and what it cracked open 33:00  Costa Rica  |  finally stopping 46:00  The grief dance and what it did in her body 01:01:31  What each path reached that others could not 01:02:37  What it is like to speak publicly about something unfinished 01:14:49  Rachel's closing reflection CONNECT WITH ALEXANDRA Insta: https://www.instagram.com/electricindigomusic/ Web: https://electricindigomusic.com/ GUEST BIO: Alexandra Alden  is a grief facilitator and DJ who creates spaces where grief and ecstacy meet. As the creator of the Grief Dance and a Transition Doula and ritualist, she guides a somatic, body-first approach to loss and art as alchemy; as the artist Electric Indigo, she channels that same current onto the dance floor. Her work lives at the edge where the deepest human experiences become something we move through together. To connect with your host, follow Me HERE:  Insta:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/rachel_unspokenemotions/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  TikTok:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠www.tiktok.com/@rachel.unspoken.em⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email: ⁠⁠⁠rachel@unspokenemotions.co.uk⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/rachel.elimelech⁠⁠   To Buy Rachel a Coffee: ⁠⁠https://buymeacoffee.com/unspokenemotions⁠⁠  LinkedIn: ⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachel-elimelech-a07a1a46/⁠⁠  HOST BIO   Rachel Elimelech is the warm, courageous voice behind Unspoken Emotions - a podcast that gives voice to the feelings we so often keep buried. A qualified Solicitor and Higher Court Advocate, Rachel combines professional insight with deeply personal lived experience - from surviving sexual abuse, loss, and single parenthood to rebuilding her life with quiet strength and unwavering resilience. Her journey from teenage single mum to respected legal professional has shaped her gift for deep connection. With empathy and authenticity, Rachel creates a safe, judgment-free space where guests are invited to speak the unspoken - grief, guilt, shame, anger, fear - and begin to let go of what no longer serves them. Through honest, unfiltered conversations, Unspoken Emotions explores how real people have turned pain into purpose and silence into healing. Rachel believes that healing begins the moment we speak the truth of our experiences - and that none of us should carry our emotions alone.