When the Doors Close | Holly Fowles-Pazdro on What Keeps You Going When Nobody Else Is There

Content Warning This episode contains first-hand accounts of childhood physical and sexual abuse, family estrangement and difficult periods of mental health. If any of these topics may affect you, please take care of yourself while listening. You can pause, skip or come back to this when you feel ready. You are not alone. Samaritans: 116 123 NAPAC: 0808 801 0331 Rape Crisis: 0808 500 2222 Holly Fowles-Pazdro grew up not feeling safe, not feeling seen and not feeling allowed to say so. She spent her teens escaping into drugs and parties because that was easier than going home. She spent fifteen years in film and TV doing hair and makeup, working eighteen-hour days, going to the toilet to cry and coming back out smiling. Until the day her back collapsed on set and she could not get up.   What followed was an eleven-hour surgery, months alone with a litter grabber, a wean off opioids, and the beginning of one of the most profound personal rebuilds I have ever witnessed.   During EMDR therapy, Holly began to remember things her brain had locked away to protect her for decades. Things she had no conscious memory of. And she had to face them. Alone. In the dark. Every day.   She has never spoken about any of this publicly. Until now.   In this conversation Holly talks about what it means to grow up as the black sheep. About finding a diary at 41 that told her things she had forgotten at 10. About the eleven-hour surgery that forced her to stop and in stopping, find out who she actually was. About cutting off her family and watching abundance flood in. About the poem she wrote when words were the only thing left.   And about the insight her therapist says changed everything: it is not about letting go. It is about whether you have the capacity to hold space for all of it.   Holly is now a mind, body and facial specialist focused on nervous system-led treatments. She holds space for others as someone who has had to hold space for everything herself.   Content note: this episode contains discussion of childhood physical and sexual abuse, family estrangement, chronic pain, addiction and dark moments during recovery. Please take care of yourself while listening. Can you also add in her socials in Connect with Guest section. Holly's Instagram: @mindfulglow_withholly Holly's TikTok: @mindfulglow_withholly  Holly's website: www.mindfulglowwithholly.com