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TheWillpowerPodcast with Will Gordon: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Will Gordon
Sobriety podcast featuring real addiction recovery stories and practical tools that actually work. I'm Will Gordon. Boston school teacher, two-time organ transplant survivor, and a guy who used to hide vodka bottles in places I don't even like remembering. At 35, my liver and kidneys were done. Doctors said weeks, maybe less. Transplants gave me a second shot. Sobriety gave me everything else. This isn't some shiny recovery show. It's raw conversations about what addiction actually feels like, how messy getting sober really is, and the quiet moments that slowly pull you back to life. Every Friday I talk with people who've been to the edge - some still hanging on by their fingernails - and we unpack the doubts, the small wins, the tools that actually work when everything else fails. If you're fighting cravings, questioning if it's worth it, or just need to hear someone who gets it... this is for you. Real stories. Real tools. No bullshit. AND ALWAYS with Respect and Compassion. "Your greatest comeback starts the moment you decide it's possible." Feel that pull? Hit play. One story could change your lens.
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- 1 weeks ago1h 4m
Told I’d Die Within a Year, I Kept Drinking | Liver Transplant Story
Chelsea was told she’d die within a year without a liver transplant, and she kept drinking for nine more months, even in her hospital bed. Two years sober and nine months post-transplant, this is her raw, honest story of addiction, liver failure, and getting her life back.“I’m this little nobody, drug addict, alcoholic that nobody ever listened to. And he goes, ‘I’m listening.’”Chelsea doesn’t clean her story up. She lost her son at 24, went from never using to shooting heroin, contracted hepatitis C and never took the cure sitting in her medicine cabinet. Then she spent ten years drinking from the moment she woke up until she fell asleep. She documented her liver failure for 177,000 people on TikTok. She was told she had three months left and nearly sent to hospice. Then a doctor, a 2 a.m. nurse and a total stranger reminded her she was worth saving.I’m a liver and kidney transplant recipient myself, and this is one of the most honest conversations I’ve ever had on this show. If you’ve ever felt like you didn’t deserve to be saved, this one’s for you.CHAPTERS00:00 “You Don’t Deserve That Liver” (Cold Open)00:30 Meet Chelsea01:41 Losing Her Son at 2402:32 From Never Using to Shooting Heroin05:31 “You Guys Have Only Seen Me Dying”07:26 10 Years of Drinking & the Hep C Pills She Never Took11:37 “I Was the Chaos”12:22 DCF, Search Dogs & a Car Full of Alcohol13:35 “My Life Is So Boring Now and I Love It”14:10 Why She Finally Stopped16:55 Why She Filmed Her Own Liver Failure19:56 “The Smartest, Dumbest Person”22:33 The Water Bottle Trick for Letting Go of Anger23:44 From Toxic to Peaceful: Her Marriage Sober25:55 Drinking in the Hospital28:01 3 Months to Live & Hospice28:34 Hospice in the Room & a Secret Referral30:02 MELD Scores & 9 Months on the List32:29 “Just Get Through the Day”33:45 The 2 A.M. Nurse36:57 “Do I Deserve This Liver?”39:53 The Day My Family Said Goodbye40:37 Part 2: Waking Up From a Liver Transplant42:01 Suboxone & “There’s No One Way to Get Sober”45:09 The Doctor Who Said “I’m Listening”48:38 A Bile Leak & a Second Surgery50:03 Depression & Guilt After Transplant50:45 Letters to Donor Families52:41 Meds, Labs & Life After Transplant57:54 Life Now: Quiet, Simple, Sober59:46 If You’re Still Drinking, Hear ThisIF YOU’RE STRUGGLINGUS: SAMHSA National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357 (free, confidential, 24/7)Call or text 988 if you’re in crisis or struggling with your mental healthFind treatment, including medication for opioid use disorder: findtreatment.govOutside the US: findahelpline.comIf you drink heavily every day, please don’t stop suddenly without medical help. Withdrawal can be dangerous.BECOME AN ORGAN DONORIt takes one checkbox: registerme.orgSUPPORT THE SHOW ☕💛The Willpower Podcast is independent, made with a mic, a lot of heart and a whole lot of gratitude. If an episode helped you feel little less alone, you can buy me a coffee to help keep these conversations going. Every single one means the world to me.https://buymeacoffee.com/thewillpowerpodcastCONNECT tiktok.com/@chelseablake1125||instagram.com/chelseablake_85 instagram.com/thewillpowerpodcastThis podcast shares personal experiences and isn’t medical advice. Please talk to your own doctor about your health.#LiverTransplantSurvivor #SoberMom #HepatitisC #TransplantLife #MATSavesLives #OrganDonationSavesLives
- 2 weeks ago46 min
I Couldn’t Tell My Dying Best Friend I Was Drinking Too Much | Gray Area Drinking
Melissa McGovern, The Sober New Yorker, looked fine on the outside. Then her bloodwork came back: liver enzymes in the 200–300s, near-diabetic blood sugar, and a doctor telling her to change or start medication.“I would love to tell him that I’m drinking too much… and I couldn’t even say that to him.” In this episode of The Willpower Podcast, Melissa shares the story she’s never sugarcoated: watching her best friend, T Scott, die from alcohol use disorder while she quietly wondered if she could still drink while caring for him. Then she gave herself 90 days, and her life changed. She’s been alcohol-free since August 2023, and today she coaches women who are quietly negotiating with the bottle every night.IN THIS EPISODEThe doctor’s email that changed everything, and what her labs looked like 11 weeks laterGray area drinking: “She’s a party girl. I’d never think she has a problem.”Why she could never keep vodka in the houseLosing T Scott to cirrhosis, and “just don’t give up on me”Why you don’t have to wait for rock bottom (or a transplant) to quitThe fear of change vs. the fear of staying stuckHer first sober retreat, her first online meeting, and finding communityLeading alcohol-free retreats in New York CityFinding purpose at 51: coaching Gen X womenHer rule for early sobriety: treat it like a newborn babyCHAPTERS00:00 Finding the Strength to Change00:50 Introduction to Melissa's Journey01:48 The Turning Point: A Doctor's Warning06:11 The Struggle with Alcohol and Identity11:02 The Shift to Vodka: A Dangerous Path16:08 The Impact of Loss: T Scott's Story22:37 Finding the Strength to Change25:39 The Fear of Change vs. Staying Stuck26:31 Facing Change and Fear29:23 The Journey to Sobriety32:40 Building Community and Connection34:57 Embracing Recovery and Finding Purpose39:28 Navigating Social Aspects of SobrietyIF YOU’RE STRUGGLING👇US: SAMHSA National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357 (free, confidential, 24/7)Call or text 988 if you’re in crisis or struggling with your mental healthOutside the US: findahelpline.comIf you drink heavily every day, please don’t stop suddenly without medical help. Withdrawal can be dangerous.SUPPORT THE SHOW ☕💛The Willpower Podcast is independent, made with a mic, a lot of heart and a whole lot of gratitude. If an episode ever helped you feel a little less alone, you can buy me a coffee to help keep these conversations going. Every single one means the world to me.https://buymeacoffee.com/thewillpowerpodcastCONNECTMelissa: instagram.com/thesobernewyorker| thesobernewyorker.comThe Willpower Podcast: instagram.com/thewillpowerpodcastSubscribe for new episodes every Friday.This podcast shares personal experiences and isn’t medical advice. Please talk to your own doctor about your health.#GrayAreaDrinking #Sobriety #AlcoholFree
- 3 weeks ago52 min
They Were Preparing for My Death | Alcohol, Sepsis & a Liver Transplant Story
Scarlett Larkley’s alcohol-related liver failure led to sepsis, dialysis and a liver transplant in 2025. This is her honest story of recovery, shame and sobriety.“Everyone was kind of like preparing for my death.” In this episode of The Willpower Podcast, I sit down with Scarlett Larkley, a mom of two and liver transplant recipient, to talk about the parts of a transplant story that rarely get told: how daily drinking took over, how fast it fell apart, and what the first year afterward is really like. I’m a liver and kidney transplant recipient myself, so this one hit close to home.IN THIS EPISODEWhen alcohol stopped being fun and became a daily routineDay drinking during COVID, and what was going on in her life at the timeThe day her eyes turned yellow (May 3, 2025) and her hospital stay (May 22 to July 1, 2025)Kidney failure, dialysis, hepatic encephalopathy, ascites and paracentesisGoing septic, and the moment doctors told her family to preparePEth tests, getting listed, and a transplant in June 2025Waking up after transplant and relearning to walk and talkYear one: a feeding tube, anti-rejection medications and nauseaThe shame, telling friends, and her partner getting soberWhat it’s been like for her kidsDreams about drinking, and “Why do I deserve this?”CHAPTERS00:00 They Were Preparing for My Death | Meet Scarlett Larkley05:52 Yellow Eyes, Dialysis & Going Septic17:11 Waking Up After the Liver Transplant22:46 When Her Partner Quit Drinking & Learning to Walk Again28:09 Year One After a Liver Transplant: Feeding Tube & Meds35:55 Her Kids, Sobriety & the Shame44:55 “Why Do I Deserve This?” Donor Guilt & PurposeI edit and produce everything myself; so if you found value in this please consider supporting Donate here 👈 🙏IF YOU’RE STRUGGLINGUS: SAMHSA National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357 (free, 24/7)Call or text 988 if you’re in crisisOutside the US: findahelpline.comDon’t stop heavy drinking suddenly without medical help. Withdrawal can be dangerous.BECOME AN ORGAN DONORIt takes one checkbox: registerme.orgCONNECTScarlett: instagram.com/scarlettlarkleyThe Willpower Podcast: instagram.com/thewillpowerpodcastSubscribe for new episodes: [https://youtube.com/@thewillpowerpodcast]This podcast shares personal experiences and isn’t medical advice. Please talk to your own care team about your health.#LiverTransplant #AlcoholRecovery #Sobriety
- 4 weeks ago1h 2m
She Drank a Liter a Day. Her MELD Hit 40.
She drank a liter of vodka a day. Her MELD score hit 40. And she still thought she'd never be able to quit. Welcome to Season 3 🎙️ of The Willpower Podcast. I've been away since June, and this is the conversation I wanted to come back with.Tia is 44, from Albuquerque, and nearly three years out from her liver transplant. She found out her liver was failing by accident, when an urgent care visit for a sore elbow turned up iron levels so high doctors sent her to an oncologist. She's honest about the "duh" that came with the diagnosis: not surprised, and completely surprised, both at once.In this episode we talk about:- Growing up in an alcoholic family, and why drinking never felt like a choice- Weekly fluid drains, the yellow bile, and the moment she couldn't roll over in bed- Watching her aunt choose to drink until the end while Tia fought to keep her own life- Two transplant calls that fell through, including one on Christmas Day- Coding on the table, a missed bile duct, and a second surgery- Fourteen days in a coma, and waking up to a decorated room and a birthday she'd missed- Her donor, Chad, and the letters we both keep writing to families who may never write back- How she and her husband rebuilt a marriage after the bottleAnd because this is what The Willpower Podcast is for, I shared a part of my own story I've never told on camera, from the night I had a 4% chance of surviving. A near-death experience story I've never told publicly before until today. If you've ever felt like there was no way back, or you're carrying shame about how you got sick, I hope this feels like a conversation with someone who gets it. Tia said it better than I could: "we're not evil people, we're just people, and we deserve to be saved as much as anyone." 💚 To every organ donor and donor family: thank you. If you're not registered, you can sign up in a couple of minutes at registerme.org.💚If you or someone you love is struggling with alcohol, the free, confidential SAMHSA National Helpline is 1-800-662-4357 (24/7). This episode is personal storytelling, not medical advice. Please talk to your care team about your own health.If this moved you, a like, a share, and a subscribe help this message reach someone who needs it. I edit and produce the podcast myself, so donations are so appreciated. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.Donate here 👈 🙏CHAPTERS00:00 Raised in It02:59 Under the Table05:52 Iron at 30,00008:52 She Already Knew11:55 MELD 4014:50 Her Aunt Chose the Other Ending18:08 A Liter a Day20:00 The Marriage After the Bottle24:25 She Hid It at Work26:48 The Shower Prayer37:46 The Calls That Fell Through39:52 She Coded, Then They Missed the Duct43:21 The Bracelet47:58 Fourteen Days in the Dark51:41 The Laugh That Brought Him Back57:15 We Are Not Evil People#livertransplant #alcoholism #organdonation #alcoholicliverdisease #sobriety
- Jun 5, 202650 min
“I Hired a Private Investigator on My Husband” — The Partner’s Side of Addiction
Most of us don’t really understand what it’s like to love someone deep in addiction...until we’re living it.In this earnest and valuable conversation, Anita Ondine Smith opens up about being married to former NBA player Randy Livingston while he battled gambling addiction for over two decades. She shares the confusion, the shame, the moments she felt completely lost, and how she learned that love alone wasn’t enough.Anita talks honestly about:- The early signs she missed- Why she hired a private investigator- What “boundaries” actually mean (and why most people get them wrong)- The turning point that finally got Randy real help- Why compassion worked better than controlIf you’re the one struggling with addiction, or you’re the partner, family member, or friend trying to support someone — this episode is for you.Resources mentioned:- Anita’s book: ASSIST: How to Help a Loved One with a Gambling Problem Without Losing Yourself- National Gambling Helpline: 1-800-RESETConnect with Anita:- Instagram: @anitaosmith- LinkedIn: Anita Ondine SmithIf this helped you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it.
- May 29, 202619 min
Why Willpower Alone Fails in Addiction (And What Actually Rewires It)
Most people think beating addiction comes down to having more willpower. Chris Hill says that’s one of the biggest mistakes you can make.In this episode, we break down why willpower eventually runs out, what’s actually happening in the brain when cravings return, and how rewiring your mind (instead of white-knuckling) creates real, lasting freedom.Chris is the founder of Beat My Addictions and author of Get Your Life Back. He’s also completed extreme endurance challenges — swimming the English Channel and running over 950 miles across the UK. He’s not just talking theory.We talk about:- Why the survival mechanism in your brain works against you in addiction- The “separation model” — how to separate your conscious self from the system running in the background- His personal rock bottom moment and how he finally broke the cycle- The difference between white-knuckling recovery vs actually rewiring your brain- Why counting days can sometimes work against youIf you’ve ever felt like you keep failing even though you want to change, this episode will give you a completely different way of looking at it.Chris’s Book:Get Your Life Back – The Road to Freedom from Addiction (Available on Amazon)Free 7-Day Beat Addiction Plan:https://robhillfoundation.orgConnect with Chris:- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beatmyaddictions- Website: https://www.beatmyaddictions.comIf this episode helped you, please like, subscribe, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.Take care of yourself.#AddictionRecovery #Willpower #MentalHealth #RewireYourBrain #RecoveryPodcast #TheWillpowerPodcast
- May 22, 202641 min
What Happens After Rock Bottom? Inner Child Work & Honest Recovery | David Deane Haskell
In this raw and honest conversation, author David Deane Haskell joins me to talk about what happens after you survive rock bottom. We dive into trauma, inner child work, shame attacks, codependency, and why recovery isn’t a straight line or a highlight reel.David shares how he learned to stop performing healing and started doing the real, messy work — including a powerful technique for connecting with your inner child that many people find life-changing.This episode is for anyone who’s tired of toxic positivity and wants to hear what recovery actually looks like when you stop trying to make it look inspiring.David’s Book – Wounded Angels- Kindle: https://mybook.to/woundedangels- Paperback: https://mybook.to/woundedangelspaperback- Website: https://daviddeanehaskell.comIf you’re struggling right now:You are not alone.- National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US): Call or text 988- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741- International Association for Suicide Prevention: https://www.iasp.info/suicidalthoughts/- SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) → https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline- Alcoholics Anonymous: https://www.aa.org/- Al-Anon (for families & loved ones): https://al-anon.org/Connect with Will:- Sober Mentoring (limited spots): https://calendly.com/thewillpowerpodcast/30min- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thewillpowerpodcast- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@willgordonsober- Buy Me a Coffee (supports the show): https://buymeacoffee.com/thewillpowerpodcastThank you for being here. If this episode helped you, please like, subscribe, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.Take care of yourself.#Recovery #InnerChildWork #MentalHealth #AddictionRecovery #WoundedAngels #DavidDeaneHaskell #TheWillpowerPodcast
- May 15, 202637 min
I Did Kim Kardashian’s Intervention – The Reality of Family Interventions
In this episode, I sit down with Evan Jarschauer, a licensed psychotherapist and one of the most experienced interventionists in the country.Evan has led interventions for families from all walks of life — including one that aired on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. We talk about what actually happens during a real intervention, the emotional weight of the job, and some of the heaviest cases he’s ever faced (including working with families where a parent is dying).Evan also opens up about his own childhood trauma and how it shaped the way he works with families today.Topics we cover:- What really happens behind the scenes of a family intervention- The emotional toll of working with families in crisis- Why denial is so powerful (and the most common things people say)- The difference between people who stay sober long-term vs. those who don’t- What it’s like when a dying parent wants to see their child get help before they passIf you love someone who’s struggling with addiction or mental health, this episode offers a rare look into how families can actually get help.Timestamps:00:00 – Intro01:45 – Evan’s personal story & childhood trauma06:41 – Doing Kim Kardashian’s intervention11:27 – What actually happens during a real intervention14:12 – The hardest cases (including dying parents)18:16 – Common things people in deep denial say21:16 – Why the substance is usually a symptom, not the root23:32 – What actually determines long-term recovery27:11 – What families should do first when someone is struggling31:52 – What keeps Evan doing this workEvan’s Website: behavioralhelp.comIf this episode helped you, please like, subscribe, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.#Intervention #AddictionRecovery #FamilyIntervention #MentalHealth---My Links:- Sober Mentoring: https://calendly.com/thewillpowerpodcast/30min- Instagram: @thewillpowerpodcast- TikTok: @willgordonsober
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About TheWillpowerPodcast with Will Gordon
Sobriety podcast featuring real addiction recovery stories and practical tools that actually work. I'm Will Gordon. Boston school teacher, two-time organ transplant survivor, and a guy who used to hide vodka bottles in places I don't even like remembering. At 35, my liver and kidneys were done. Doctors said weeks, maybe less. Transplants gave me a second shot. Sobriety gave me everything else. This isn't some shiny recovery show. It's raw conversations about what addiction actually feels like, how messy getting sober really is, and the quiet moments that slowly pull you back to life. Every Friday I talk with people who've been to the edge - some still hanging on by their fingernails - and we unpack the doubts, the small wins, the tools that actually work when everything else fails. If you're fighting cravings, questioning if it's worth it, or just need to hear someone who gets it... this is for you. Real stories. Real tools. No bullshit. AND ALWAYS with Respect and Compassion. "Your greatest comeback starts the moment you decide it's possible." Feel that pull? Hit play. One story could change your lens.
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