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The Rollercoaster Podcast: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Tyler Hall
Some things break you open in a way you never fully close back up. The Rollercoaster Podcast lives in that space: the aftermath of loss, trauma, and grief, and what it takes to keep living after everything falls apart. Host Tyler Hall sits down with people who've survived the unthinkable, from the death of a loved one to abuse, addiction, and mental health crises. No polished takes, no tidy lessons. Just honest stories of healing and rebuilding.
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- 2 days ago45 min
My Husband Left Me One Final Message, Then He Ended His Life
What do you do when the person you love tells you “I love you,” and just minutes later, your entire world falls apart?On June 13, 2024, MaKela Allen lost her husband, Michael, to suicide. Just hours earlier, they were planning their future, preparing to move into a new home, and talking about having another child. There was no goodbye. No warning she could have recognized. Just a final text message that would haunt her forever.I sat down with MaKela for a deeply personal and emotional conversation about suicide, grief, domestic abuse, and the unimaginable reality of raising children after losing their father.In this episode:The final moments before Michael took his own lifeThe warning signs MaKela never imagined could lead to suicideHow she told her three-year-old son his dad was goneThe complicated grief of loving someone who also hurt youFinding the strength to rebuild a life after unimaginable lossWhat struck me most was MaKela’s ability to hold love, anger, heartbreak, and compassion all at once.Her story is a reminder that grief isn't something we simply overcome. Sometimes, surviving means learning to carry what we cannot change.Key Moments:00:00 My husband's final I love you before his death03:42 The family tragedy before everything fell apart07:42 The morning my husband took his own life10:24 I found my husband's car surrounded by police15:19 The moment doctors told me he was dead18:22 Telling my three-year-old his dad was gone21:14 The painful truth about our marriage and domestic abuse24:08 The suicide note my husband left behind27:59 Loving someone who caused you so much pain32:05 Were there warning signs I missed before his suicide?36:27 How I want my children to remember their father40:15 Surviving the worst day of my life43:00 Finding hope when grief feels unbearableConnect with Me:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/Connect with MaKela:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/makelaallen/
- 1 weeks ago1h 17m
She Buried Her Son… Then Went Looking for Her Husband
How do you keep going when the person who helped you survive losing your baby is suddenly gone too?I sit down with Britt Del Toro for a conversation about infant loss, suicide bereavement, and the grief that follows you into every corner of your life. Britt shares the heartbreaking loss of her 10-week-old son, Zeppelin, her own suicide attempt, and later losing her husband, Troy, to suicide.What stays with me is her honesty about everything that comes after: the guilt, the unanswered questions, and trying to parent when you can barely get through the day yourself.In this episode:Saying goodbye to Zeppelin and choosing organ donationThe depression that deepened after the funeralSurviving a suicide attempt and reaching for helpLoving Troy through mental illness and grieving his deathFinding moments of faith while living with lossI’m grateful Britt trusted me with the parts of her story that are still painful to say out loud. She speaks about grief without pretending she has it figured out, and about asking for support when the weight feels unbearable.If you’re carrying a loss nobody else can see, I hope this conversation helps you feel a little less alone.Key Moments:00:00 Losing a baby, then a husband03:48 The moment Britt found Zeppelin08:17 The guilt of every “what if”12:19 Holding her baby one last time16:47 The heartbreaking choice to donate his organs21:26 When the funeral ends and grief gets louder25:17 The nightmares nobody saw29:25 When grief became a mental health crisis33:40 Surviving a suicide attempt41:50 The side of Troy others didn’t see46:20 Chronic pain and a growing crisis50:57 The week before everything changedConnect with Me:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/Connect with Britt:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/britt_deltoro/
- 2 weeks ago1h 9m
The Most Heartbreaking Story I've Ever Heard...
What happens to your faith when you witness suffering so horrific that you begin asking God why He allows it?I sit down with Alex Barbir, founder of Building Zion, who has risked his life to stand alongside persecuted Christians in Nigeria, where families are being murdered, villages destroyed, and countless survivors left with nothing.Alex shares heartbreaking firsthand accounts of religious persecution, including a mother cradling her murdered son, families grieving unimaginable losses, and the moments that brought him to tears and challenged his own faith.In this episode:The horrifying reality of Christian persecution in NigeriaWhat Alex witnessed at massacre sites that still haunts himWhy he believes the church and world are failing innocent familiesHow witnessing unimaginable suffering challenged his relationship with GodRebuilding destroyed villages and restoring hope to survivorsThis conversation goes far beyond violence and religious persecution. It's about faith in the face of evil, the courage to stand with those who are suffering, and what it truly means to love your neighbor.Alex's story left me questioning how easily we look away from suffering simply because it isn't happening to us.Because sometimes the hardest question isn't where God is in suffering, but where we are.Key Moments:00:00 The horrifying reality of Christian persecution in Nigeria03:30 Why the world is ignoring the massacre of Christians07:00 Who is really behind the attacks on Nigerian Christians10:40 The religious beliefs behind the violence14:50 The Nigerian village where hundreds were massacred18:25 Why nobody came to help the survivors22:30 Why the Nigerian government isn't stopping the violence26:30 Are officials hiding the true death toll?30:35 The heartbreaking moment that broke Alex34:40 Why does the world look away from suffering?38:20 Where is God when innocent people are murdered?42:55 The faces of victims that still haunt him47:40 The massacre that changed everything51:35 Why rebuilding villages became his mission55:30 Choosing faith over fear in dangerous places59:30 How armed attackers terrorize Christian communities1:01:00 The unimaginable pain of losing a child1:04:00 Why these families desperately need protection1:07:00 What Christians can do to help NigeriaConnect with Me:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/Connect with Alex:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexbarbir/
- 3 weeks ago59 min
He Thought It Was Just a Headache, 5 Months Later, He Was Dead
What happens when the person you've loved almost your entire life is suddenly taken from you?My guest today is Ashley Leatham, who lost her husband, Scott, a 39-year-old firefighter, to a rare and aggressive cancer called NUT carcinoma. What started as persistent headaches turned into a devastating diagnosis, and just five months later, Ashley was holding her husband's hand as he took his final breath.They had known each other since they were 12. They built a beautiful life, raised two children, and imagined growing old together. Then everything changed.Ashley opens up about the unimaginable pain of watching her husband fight for his life, the heartbreak of telling their children he was dying, and the final moments she'll never forget.In this episode:The warning signs before Scott's devastating cancer diagnosisHow five months changed their family's lives foreverThe heartbreaking final days before Scott passed awayNavigating grief, widowhood, and raising children after lossFinding purpose, faith, and hope when life feels unbearableThis conversation is a powerful reminder that tomorrow is never promised, the people we love are everything, and even in our darkest moments, there can still be a reason to keep going.Key Moments:00:00 The heartbreaking final moments of Scott's cancer battle03:01 A childhood friendship that became a lifelong love07:50 The headaches that revealed a deadly cancer diagnosis12:44 The hospital visit that changed everything16:14 The rare cancer diagnosis and desperate fight to survive20:11 When chemotherapy led to a terrifying emergency23:05 Seven organs failing and the fight to stay alive27:28 The devastating cancer prognosis that shattered their hope30:18 How facing death changes what matters most35:16 The powerful life lesson Scott left behind38:55 The suspected cancer risks inside the fire station43:23 The heartbreaking news that Scott had weeks to live46:16 The final family memories before saying goodbye49:09 Holding her husband's hand as he took his last breath52:35 The painful reality of grief after losing a spouse56:06 Finding purpose and hope after unimaginable lossConnect with Me:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/Connect with Nick & Cassie:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dsnyash/
- Sep 29, 202653 min
I Was Almost a Killer, Here's How I Got There...
There’s a point where you can’t blame your past anymore. You have to look in the mirror and decide who you’re going to become.My guest, Shane Goodbar, has lived both sides of that truth.Shane was sexually abused as a child, learned to hide behind a mask, and eventually found escape through alcohol and drugs. What started as a way to numb the pain spiraled into addiction, broken relationships, multiple DUIs, jail, and a moment where he came terrifyingly close to taking another man’s life.But this isn’t just a story about addiction. It’s about accountability, recovery, fatherhood, faith, forgiveness, and what happens when you finally stop seeing yourself as the victim of your own life.In this episode:How childhood sexual abuse shaped Shane’s identity and need to escapeWhy drugs and alcohol became a way to stop feelingThe rock-bottom moment that finally broke through years of denialHow a two-year therapeutic community completely rebuilt his lifeWhy recovery meant learning to love the man staring back in the mirrorWhat stayed with me most was Shane’s willingness to own all of it. Not excuse it. Not hide from it. Own it.Because no matter how lost you’ve become, your past doesn’t have to be where your story ends. But eventually, you have to take the first step.Key Moments:00:00 The man behind the mask03:18 Hiding childhood sexual abuse06:02 When drugs became the escape09:41 Living two different lives13:15 Addiction starts taking over17:46 The relationship that changed everything21:07 Becoming a father changes the path24:49 The lie he told himself about fatherhood27:07 His fourth DUI and arrest30:04 Ten days after leaving jail33:09 When rock bottom finally hit36:03 Facing the man he had become39:01 Learning to love himself again42:03 The identity crisis facing men45:12 Finding God after years of pain48:26 Why surrender finally brought peace51:03 His message to anyone still lost53:02 What recovery actually gives youConnect with Me:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/Connect with Shane:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sr_goodbar/
- Sep 22, 20261h 34m
This Voicemail is All I Have Left of My Mom
There are some phone calls that divide your life into a before and an after.My guest, Kylie Hammonds, was just 26 when she received one of those calls. Her mom, Tabitha, had died suddenly, leaving Kylie and her brother searching for answers about what happened that night.Kylie takes me inside the events surrounding her mother’s death, the fentanyl discovered during the investigation, the questions surrounding her father, and the painful reality of grieving her mom while also grieving a father who was still alive.In this episode:The phone call that changed Kylie’s life foreverThe unanswered questions surrounding her mom’s sudden deathWhy the investigation left Kylie and her brother searching for answersHow she learned to release the anger she carried toward her fatherWhy preserving the voices and memories of the people we love matters so muchBut this conversation became about so much more than loss.Kylie shares what three years of grief, anger, prayer and healing have taught her about forgiveness, giving yourself grace, and how easily we convince ourselves we’ll have more time with the people we love.Later, Kylie’s boyfriend Michael Curtis joins us to share how watching her navigate this unimaginable loss inspired him to create Forevermore, a platform designed to preserve the voices, stories and memories of the people we love.And at the very end, Kylie plays the only voicemail she has left of her mom.It’s only a few seconds long, but when it’s the only chance you have to hear someone you love again, a few seconds is everything.Key Moments:00:00 The phone call that changed everything05:13 Flying home without knowing the truth10:03 Why her brother warned her at the airport15:07 The heartbreaking scene inside the house20:05 Strangers caught entering her mom’s office24:48 Her father’s story starts falling apart29:10 The addiction Kylie never fully understood33:07 Fentanyl changes the entire investigation38:22 The discovery that changed how she saw her dad42:04 Grieving a father who is still alive49:21 What grief taught her about surviving loss57:30 The tragedy that shaped Michael’s view of loss1:02:00 How Kylie’s grief sparked a bigger idea1:12:00 Using AI to preserve a loved one’s voice1:17:00 The questions that uncover your life story1:25:16 Hearing a loved one’s voice after they’re gone1:32:12 What she’d give to hear her mom againConnect with Me:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/Connect with Kylie:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kylie_knh/Connect with Michael:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelrrcurtis/
- Sep 15, 202659 min
He Thought it Was a Stomach Ache - Now My Husband is Dead
In this episode, I sit down with Nick Rogers and his wife, Cassie, two people whose lives were shattered by the unimaginable loss of their spouses to cancer.Nick takes me through his wife Anna’s battle with aggressive breast cancer, the moment they thought she had beaten it, and the devastating reality of watching it return and spread. He also shares the impossible decisions he had to make as a father while trying to protect his two young daughters from losing their mom.Cassie’s story is different, but equally heartbreaking. Her husband Cody went from seemingly healthy to being diagnosed with metastatic pancreatic cancer, and just 66 days later, he was gone. Before he died, Cody told Cassie something incredible: he was already praying for the man who would one day love her and help raise their children.In this episode:What it’s really like to lose a spouse to cancerThe impossible decisions parents face while grievingHow Nick and Cassie helped their children process lossThe role faith played when life stopped making senseHow they slowly found hope, healing, and love againAnd somehow, through grief, faith, and circumstances that are almost impossible to explain, Nick and Cassie found each other.This conversation is about losing the person you thought you’d grow old with, parenting through grief, trusting God when nothing makes sense, and slowly discovering that life, and even love, can exist after unimaginable loss.Key Moments:00:00 Two spouses lost to cancer, one unexpected love story03:18 The cancer diagnosis that changed everything07:04 Finding faith through aggressive cancer treatment10:19 When chemotherapy made death feel real13:17 Cancer remission and a new beginning16:32 The symptoms that revealed a brain tumor20:07 When cancer came back even more aggressively24:03 Facing the reality that Anna could die28:26 The final months of Anna’s cancer battle34:44 She fell asleep and never woke up38:09 Telling two young girls their mom was dying41:40 66 days from pancreatic cancer diagnosis to death45:00 The scan that revealed a death sentence49:32 Cody’s final message of faith51:21 Why Cody prayed for Cassie’s future husband54:28 Finding love after losing a spouse56:48 Anna’s message to Cassie before she diedConnect with Me:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/Connect with Nick & Cassie:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rebuildingrogers/
- Sep 8, 202650 min
We Had the Best Week Together, Then I Got the Call He Was Dead
A few days before 16-year-old Landon took his own life, he spent what felt like one of the best weeks of his life with his cousin, Landon Ashworth.They ate way too much sushi, played golf, shot guns, laughed, talked about life, and dreamed about the future. When the week ended, Landon told him how much he needed it. He seemed happy. He seemed okay.Then came the phone call that changed everything.I sit down with filmmaker, actor, writer, and creator Landon Ashworth for an incredibly raw conversation about suicide, autism, grief, survivor’s guilt, and the things we sometimes don't see until it's too late.In this episode:Losing his 16-year-old cousin Landon to suicideThe warning signs he wishes he had recognized soonerGrowing up autistic, masking, bullying, and feeling misunderstoodThe survivor’s guilt he still carries after Landon’s deathTurning grief into his deeply personal film Go OnLandon opens up about experiencing suicidal thoughts himself and why he now isn’t afraid to directly ask someone if they’re thinking about taking their own life.We also talk about the painful reality of trying to help someone find their way out of the darkness, why emotional pain can feel impossible to escape, and the importance of finding something worth holding onto.This conversation is heavy. But more than anything, it’s about choosing to keep going.Key Moments:00:00 The week before everything changed03:03 When Landon’s future fell apart06:25 The week that made him feel okay again10:02 The phone call no one expected13:43 The guilt of missing the signs17:02 The suicide warning signs he missed20:23 The reality of masking autism24:00 Why other people’s opinions mean nothing29:39 What an autistic brain can feel like34:29 The Hollywood advice Landon couldn’t accept38:00 Why vulnerable people started finding him41:37 Turning Landon’s suicide into Go On45:01 Finding a reason to stay alive48:02 How to get out of emotional hellConnect with Me:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/Connect with Landon Ashworth:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/landonashworthdirects/#SuicidePrevention #AutismAwareness #SurvivorsGuilt
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About The Rollercoaster Podcast
Some things break you open in a way you never fully close back up. The Rollercoaster Podcast lives in that space: the aftermath of loss, trauma, and grief, and what it takes to keep living after everything falls apart. Host Tyler Hall sits down with people who've survived the unthinkable, from the death of a loved one to abuse, addiction, and mental health crises. No polished takes, no tidy lessons. Just honest stories of healing and rebuilding.
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