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The Love Drive with Shaun Galanos: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Shaun Galanos
No-nonsense advice on sex, love, relationships, and dating for hopeful romantics, love cynics, and everyone navigating modern love, hosted by Love Coach Shaun Galanos. The Love Drive is for women tired of toxic love advice and men who want to do better. The antidote to the red pill manosphere, we're making emotional intelligence, honest communication, and healthy masculinity cool again.
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- 5 days ago14 min
What is love?
What is love? It's a question I've never seriously stopped to answer — and one that's surprisingly hard to get at.In this solo episode, I share reflections from Love Camp, a retreat I hosted for 25 people, where only one participant raised their hand when asked if they had positive loving role models growing up. I explore what love actually looks like in practice — not the grand gestures we're sold, but the quiet, boring, mundane acts of showing up.I read a letter I wrote to myself, share an email from my friend Kathy, and read some of my favorite quotes on love from M. Scott Peck and Rainer Maria Rilke — plus a Hawaiian prayer to close.This episode won't give you a clean answer. But it might help you live the question a little better.If you've ever found yourself asking what love actually is, why it hurts, or whether you're doing it right, this one's for you.Maybe the answer isn't something we figure out.Maybe we live our way into it.Listener question from Sarah in British Columbia, Canada.Featured quotes: M. Scott Peck "Love is the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth. Love is as love does. Love is an act of will — namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love."Rainer Maria Rilke "Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."Connect with Shaun:Retreats and latest offerings: https://bit.ly/m/thelovedriveRead my blog: https://shaungalanos.substack.comThe Love Drive Podcast: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/More About Shaun: https://shaungalanos.com/about/Buy me a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive
- 1 weeks ago1h 21m
Once a cheater, sometimes a cheater with Lauren LaRusso
There is life after betrayal. It might not feel like it right now, but there is.My guest today is Lauren LaRusso, a licensed therapist and the author of Beyond Infidelity, a book she wrote after living through betrayal herself. Then she discovered the infidelity, and everything split into a before and an after.We talk about why infidelity is a trauma, not just a relationship issue, how being gaslit by someone you love can make you stop trusting yourself, and why the reaction you’re having probably isn’t “too much.” It’s grief. It’s shock. It’s your body trying to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense.We also get into the myths that don’t help — “happy people don’t cheat,” “if it were me, I’d leave immediately,” and “once a cheater, always a cheater.” Lauren brings so much nuance to the messy middle: staying, leaving, repair, shame, self-soothing, emotional maturity, and learning to live with answers you may never get.This one is for anyone who’s been betrayed, anyone who’s betrayed someone else, or anyone trying to understand how love, devastation, anger, and hope can all live in the same body.Find Lauren:Website: https://www.laurenlarusso.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/laurenlarussoBook: Beyond Infidelity https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Infidelity-Turn-Relationship-Beginning/dp/B0F3W9ZKP2Connect with Shaun:Retreats and latest offerings: https://bit.ly/m/thelovedriveRead my blog: https://shaungalanos.substack.comThe Love Drive Podcast: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/More About Shaun: https://shaungalanos.com/about/Buy me a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive
- 2 weeks ago23 min
Can awkward sex be improved?
What if the sex is awkward, but the connection is actually really good?This week, I’m answering a listener question about dating someone new after years of being mostly single - someone kind, compatible, emotionally available… and a little nervous in bed. Fun! Humbling! Slightly confusing!I get into whether sexual compatibility has to be there from the start, how to tell the difference between someone who’s shut down and someone who’s simply inexperienced, and why nervousness doesn’t have to mean immaturity or incompatibility. Sometimes it just means: new person, new body, new dynamic, new reps. I also talk about kissing, giving feedback without making someone feel like a project, and why asking for what you want in bed is not as obvious as people pretend it is.And yes, I start with a personal update. I’m in a very real in-between place right now - with love, work, grief, anxiety, medication, and the annoying little fact that I don’t currently have clear answers.Maybe you don’t either.Mentioned in this episode: Clarity & Connection by Yung PuebloConnect with Shaun:Retreats and latest offerings: https://bit.ly/m/thelovedriveRead my blog: https://shaungalanos.substack.comThe Love Drive Podcast: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/More About Shaun: https://shaungalanos.com/about/Buy me a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive
- 3 weeks ago1h 14m
Herpes Is Just a Skin Rash — with Debbie Barish, NP
Most adults in the world carry the virus that causes herpes. Most of them don't know it. And the shame around it is doing more damage than the virus.This week I sit down with Debbie Barish, DNP, MS, WHNP-BC — a board-certified women's health nurse practitioner with 32 years in sexual and reproductive health — for a no-shame, no-bullshit conversation about herpes (both HSV-1 and HSV-2). We get into what it actually is, how it's actually transmitted, why your standard STI panel doesn't test for it, what suppression therapy can (and can't) do, how to talk about it with a partner, and why this one virus carries so much more shame than other, often more serious, STIs.I also share my own diagnosis story for the first time on the show.We cover:What HSV actually is — and the difference (or lack of one) between HSV-1 and HSV-2Why most new genital herpes cases today are HSV-1How transmission really happens, and why 70% of cases come from people who don't know they have itWhy HSV is not part of a standard STI panel — and the one situation where a blood test is actually usefulWhat a first outbreak feels like, and how to take care of yourself through itSuppression therapy: how it works, how effective it is, what the side-effect profile actually looks likeDisclosure: when to tell a partner, how to say it, and what to do if they react badlyWhy herpes carries the stigma it does — and where that stigma comes fromHSV in pregnancyDebbie's own diagnosis story (including a 26-year-later reunion with the firefighter who gave it to her)Resources mentioned:World Health Organization — Herpes simplex virus fact sheet — global stats and overviewWashington University in St. Louis HSV research — Debbie's go-to source for current, accurate herpes informationAmerican Sexual Health Association (ASHA) — US, but the patient-facing info is universalPlanned Parenthood — STI information — US-based, info applies globallySF City Clinic — STI-specialized clinic in San Francisco (model for what to look for locally)If you're outside the US: Search for your country's national sexual health service. In the UK, Terrence Higgins Trust and the NHS herpes page. In Australia, Better Health Channel or Family Planning Australia. In Canada, Sex & U. Most public health systems have free or low-cost sexual health clinics — use them.Find Debbie: @thenewdebbieb on Instagram — where she posts zines and art journals about sexual and reproductive health.Citation for the transmission number: The 50% figure I give at the end of the episode is from Corey et al., 2004, New England Journal of Medicine — the landmark study on daily valacyclovir as suppression therapy for HSV-2 transmission. Read the study here.Heads-up: This episode talks openly about shame, self-image after diagnosis, and mental health. If those topics are heavy for you right now, take care of yourself listening.Connect with Shaun:Retreats and latest offerings: https://bit.ly/m/thelovedriveRead my blog: https://shaungalanos.substack.comThe Love Drive Podcast: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/More About Shaun: https://shaungalanos.com/about/Buy me a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive
- May 14, 202616 min
You don’t need to be ready to be loved
Someone recently told me I wasn't too complicated to love and it inspired me to explore the ways in which we keep ourselves small rather than dare to show up for love. This one's a pep talk about the lie we tell ourselves: that we have to lose the weight, get the job, finalize the divorce, heal more, become our "best self" before we deserve to be loved. The goalpost always moves. The waiting isn’t about the conditions, it’s about the fear of being seen as unfinished and unloveable.I get into the honest exception of when waiting actually is the wise call, why "ready" is usually code for something else, and what to do when you realize the person who only wants the polished version of you was never going to stay anyway.I hope you enjoy it. In this episode:• The fear of being “too complicated” to love• Why “I’ll date when…” is often fear dressed up as self-improvement• The moving goalpost of readiness• Being seen in transition, mess, grief, uncertainty, and change• The difference between acute crisis and ordinary human messiness• Why capacity matters more than perfection• How relationships can help heal the parts of us we keep trying to fix alone• Dating with roommates, anxiety, career uncertainty, body insecurity, and unfinished business• The danger of comparing your insides to someone else’s outsides• Why the right person doesn’t need you smaller, simpler, richer, or more healedComing upNext guest episode — Debbie Barrish, sexual and reproductive health nurse practitioner, on everything we get wrong about herpes. Her journey, my journey, how to protect yourself, how to talk about it. Maybe the most honest STI conversation I've had on the show.Next solo episode — the flip side of this one. A listener question about a guy she's been seeing: great connection, real long-term potential, but the sex feels awkward and he's clearly in his head. He's just out of a 15-year relationship where intimacy never deepened. She's wondering: is this workable? How long do I give it? How do I invite him into more without making him feel bad? And the question I cannot wait to answer — can you actually teach an adult to be a better kisser?Send Shaun your questions at +1 (415) 494-9559 or email him at podcast@thelovedrive.com. Voicemails and voicememos are preferred, but texts/emails are OK too.To submit a guest, please do so here: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/If you’re listening on Spotify or watching on YouTube, please leave a comment. Shaun loves hearing from you. And leave a review wherever you listen.Connect with Shaun:Love Camp: https://shaungalanos.substack.com/p/summer-camp-isnt-just-for-kids-loveRetreats and latest offerings: https://bit.ly/m/thelovedriveRead my blog: https://shaungalanos.substack.comThe Love Drive Podcast: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/More About Shaun: https://shaungalanos.com/about/Buy me a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive
- May 7, 20261h 18m
What straight people can learn from gay men with Eric Williams
This week, Shaun sits down with comedian, actor, writer, and host of That’s a Gay Ass Podcast, Eric Williams, for a conversation that’s hilarious, horny, and a surprisingly tender masterclass on queerness, straight male loneliness, flirting, consent, emotional intelligence, and what the straights can learn from the gays.Eric and Shaun talk about Dan Savage, Grindr, gay panic, open relationships, non-monogamy, and why deleting the apps might be the universe’s way of sending you back into the real world. They unpack the weirdness of being recognized while dating, the blurry line between flirting and boundary-pushing, and why good flirting usually happens one tiny green light at a time. Eric shares what it’s been like to build his own queer playbook around marriage, family, career, sex, and not having kids, while Shaun asks the very important question: how do you know if your boyfriend is gay?They also get into straight men, gay men, emotional intelligence, the loneliness epidemic, and how boys are still taught that anger is the only acceptable feeling. Shaun opens up about his dad softening near the end of his life, Eric talks about grieving the version of himself that tried to fit into his straight family’s rules, and together they make a case for living more honestly, more expressively, and with better communication around desire.And yes, there is also a surprisingly educational detour into foreskin, mushroom trips, chesticles, Edgy Albert, and whether Shaun is officially gayer than Dan Savage.Eric Williams hosts That’s A Gay Ass Podcast, a top 100 comedy podcast that was named “One of the Best Podcasts To Listen To” by Glamour Magazine. It was nominated for Best Podcast at the 2025 + 2026 Queerty Awards and has been featured in Variety, The Hollywood Reporter, Vulture, and more. As a comedian, Eric has performed in the Netflix Is A Joke festival and is currently touring his solo show Why All The Drama after playing NYC's famed Joe's Pub.You can check out more of Eric's work on Tiktok, Instagram, and you can watch That's A Gay Ass Podcast on Youtube.In this episode:• How Shaun and Eric bonded over Dan Savage• Why deleting the apps might bring dating back to life• The difference between being sexually forward and being creepy• What straight people can learn from gay flirting• Open relationships, non-monogamy, and making your own rules• Why gay men may have better emotional muscles than straight men• Straight male loneliness and the cost of emotional shutdown• How boys are taught that anger is the only acceptable feeling• Family, queerness, boundaries, and living unapologetically• How do you know if your boyfriend is gay?• Mushrooms, grief, dads, softness, and self-soothing• A very educational conversation about intact penises• What love means to Eric WilliamsMentions:Hot hairy guy — Edgy Albert Instagram https://www.instagram.com/edgyalbert/Connect with Shaun:Love Camp: https://shaungalanos.substack.com/p/summer-camp-isnt-just-for-kids-loveRetreats and latest offerings: https://bit.ly/m/thelovedriveRead my blog: https://shaungalanos.substack.comThe Love Drive Podcast: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/More About Shaun: https://shaungalanos.com/about/Buy me a coffee: <a href="https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive" target="_blank" rel="noo
- Apr 30, 202626 min
Solo in Seoul
This week, Shaun comes to you solo from Seoul, South Korea, for an episode that’s part travel diary, part dating debrief, and part emotional field note from the road.After a muted-mic false start, a pastry reset, and some solo wandering, Shaun reflects on the strange clarity that can come when you’re alone in a new city. From there, he answers listener questions about sex, desire, independence, receiving love, and the confusing ways intimacy can stir up old survival patterns.In one question, Shaun unpacks why someone might seem interested before sex, only to pull away after intimacy happens. Maybe desire was running the show all along. Or maybe something deeper is at play, like the Madonna-whore split, where someone struggles to hold another person as both sexually desirable and emotionally worthy.He also responds to a listener who has built a deeply independent life — running a business, raising two boys, buying her own car — but struggles to receive love, compliments, or support. Shaun validates the strength it took to become that self-reliant, while gently naming that independence can also be a survival mechanism. Receiving, he says, doesn’t mean giving up your power. It starts with baby steps: letting in a compliment, asking for help, trusting safe people slowly, and noticing what happens inside when you don’t have to do everything alone.If you’ve ever been alone in a beautiful city, wondered why the “chemistry” suddenly disappeared, or struggled to let love in because you’ve had to hold everything together yourself, this one’s for you.In this episode:Why Shaun is solo in SeoulTravel, solitude, and the thoughts that catch up with youWhy someone might lose interest after sexWhen desire is driving the connectionThe Madonna-whore split, explained simplyWhy receiving love can feel uncomfortableIndependence as a survival mechanismGiving energy vs. receiving energyAsking for help without losing your strengthHow trust is built slowly, with safe peopleLinks:Paradise Band (Kasima's birthday band) — Spotify and InstagramNeedles Tattoo Studio, Hongdae — Jackpot + Red LipCulinary Backstreets Food Tour Seoul Last week's episode with Laura Griffith https://youtu.be/fXm0bi-rZeE?si=l0TD9ZOiqCMcFoGpVoicemail line: 415-494-9559Email: podcast@thelovedrive.comTo submit a guest, please do so here: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/If you’re listening on Spotify or watching on YouTube, please leave a comment. Shaun loves hearing from you. And leave a review wherever you listen.Connect with Shaun:Love Camp: https://shaungalanos.substack.com/p/summer-camp-isnt-just-for-kids-loveRetreats and latest offerings: https://bit.ly/m/thelovedriveRead my blog: https://shaungalanos.substack.comThe Love Drive Podcast: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/More About Shaun: https://shaungalanos.com/about/Buy me a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive
- Apr 23, 20261h 18m
Peter Pan, grief, and the men who won't grow up with Laura Griffiths
This week, Shaun sits down with his good friend, somatic therapist and sex & relationship coach Laura Griffiths, for a conversation that's part confessional and part masterclass on masculinity, grief, and the kind of intimacy most men are too scared to reach for.Laura calls Shaun out on the charm he wears like armor, names his "performative" first-date energy that kept them from ever being romantic, and unpacks why women fully rooted in their bodies feel threatening to so many men, including him. They go deep on the Peter Pan archetype and the absence of real initiation into manhood, why the Manosphere is fueled by guys who are "angry their mothers weren't their fathers," and what healthy masculinity actually looks like when you let the mask down.Shaun opens up about the emotional rock bottom he hit this past fall - a short romance that cracked open a lifelong childhood wound, followed by the death of his beloved dog Roger — and why he chose this time not to hide. Laura brings a somatic therapist's precision to grief, the pain body, receiving love, and the erotic charge that lives in the space between vulnerability and strength.If you've ever wondered whether men and women can really be friends, why grief and eros live in the same room, or what it means to "optimize for heartbreak," this one's for you.Laura Griffiths is a somatic therapist and sex & relationship coach working with individuals and couples on rupture, repair, and creative-erotic power. Find her at thelauragriffiths.com, on Instagram @thelauragriffiths, and on Substack at Tongue of Honey.In this episode:How Laura and Shaun met on Hinge — and why there were no flirty vibesThe mask of charm and the "little wounded boy" underneath itWhy powerful, embodied women feel threateningPeter Pan, Neverland, and the initiation men never gotThe Manosphere decoded: the father wound in plain sightGrief, eros, and crying in coffee shopsWhat receiving really asks of usLove as "optimizing for heartbreak"Send Shaun your questions at +1 (415) 494-9559 or email him at podcast@thelovedrive.com. Voicemails and voicememos are preferred, but texts/emails are OK too. To submit a guest, please do so here: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/If you’re listening on Spotify or watching on YouTube, please leave a comment. Shaun loves hearing from you. And leave a review wherever you listen. Connect with Shaun:Love Camp: https://shaungalanos.substack.com/p/summer-camp-isnt-just-for-kids-loveRetreats and latest offerings: https://bit.ly/m/thelovedriveRead my blog: https://shaungalanos.substack.comThe Love Drive Podcast: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/More About Shaun: https://shaungalanos.com/about/Buy me a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive
About The Love Drive with Shaun Galanos
No-nonsense advice on sex, love, relationships, and dating for hopeful romantics, love cynics, and everyone navigating modern love, hosted by Love Coach Shaun Galanos. The Love Drive is for women tired of toxic love advice and men who want to do better. The antidote to the red pill manosphere, we're making emotional intelligence, honest communication, and healthy masculinity cool again.
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