The Kink Consultant

How To Dom When You’re A Sub

April 16, 2026·12 min
Episode Description from the Publisher

How does one really become a Dom? In this episode, I answer one of the most frequently asked questions from my Ask Me Anything Mondays which is: how do I become a Dom? And more importantly, how do you do it without feeling awkward, forced, or like you’re playing a role that doesn’t actually fit you? We get into why so many people feel pressure to “perform” dominance, and why that’s usually the thing getting in your way. I walk you through what Dom energy actually is, which is less about control and more about presence, and how you’re creating a space or “bubble” that your submissive steps into. We also talk about different styles of Doming, why you don’t have to be the kind of Dom you’re used to receiving, and how asking questions and actually listening is one of the most underrated skills you can have.If you’ve ever thought “my partner wants me to Dom and I have no idea how,” this is where you start. This episode will help you let go of the pressure, figure out what kind of Dom you want to be, and step into it in a way that feels natural, confident, and actually enjoyable.I’M HOSTING A LIVE CLASS! Join here: https://www.amandadames.com/domenergy2Connect with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consultDownload the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560Join the Kinky Book Club:https://www.amandadames.com/offers/H3LbqfTw/checkoutCourses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store

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