Free Daily Podcast Summary
The Imperfects: Daily Summaries Delivered
by The Imperfects
We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.
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- 5 days ago1h 4m
Beginning For Beginners with Hamish Blake & James van Cuylenburg
Have we ruined the art of being a beginner? 💌 To join our journaling club, with 9,900+ others, subscribe to my imperfect email - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ With guest host Hamish Blake, we welcome back friend (family?) of the show James van Cuylenburg to expertly guide us through beginners’ mindset: what is it, how can we harness it, and what is the best way to model it for our kids? In a time where kids are wanting to be the GOAT of a sport they learnt about yesterday, we’re winding back the clock to reframe the anger and frustration of trying a new skill, and to learn just how great persistence is for our identity. James leads us through why we avoid discomfort, the role of dopamine and reward, and when to allow ourselves to quit something. This episode contains lots of helpful advice for anyone wanting to adopt a beginners’ mindset, and embrace ‘friction maxing’ as their next expedition into embracing discomfort. Chapters 00:00:00 The Beginner's Mindset 00:01:32 Childhood Choir Days & The Pressure to Be the GOAT 00:10:32 Frictionless Society: The Dopamine Problem 00:22:08 Friction Maxxing: Inviting Discomfort Back In 00:27:49 Process Over Product: Finding Joy in the Journey 00:33:51 Persistence vs Endurance: The Art of Sticking With It 00:49:20 The Zone of Proximal Development: The 5% Rule 00:53:03 When Kids Get Angry: Co-Regulation & Small Wins 00:56:22 Shame vs Motivation: The Choir Director's Mistake 00:59:13 James Van Cuylenburg's New TV Show & Final Thoughts 🫖If you liked this episode, you might also love James van Cuylenburg - Love Your Wonky Bricks - https://bit.ly/3VZ1O26 James van Cuylenburg - What’s Your Relationship Status - https://bit.ly/4jFdIrF Hamish Blake - Let’s Talk About Self Doubt - https://bit.ly/4jKDwCQ Dr Emily - You’re Full of Grit - https://bit.ly/3ULXe6W Nedd Brockman - The Man, The Myth, The Neddgend - https://bit.ly/4ilxYvX The Academy of Imperfection - Dr Billy Garvey, Paediatrician - https://bit.ly/4Bpwmdn Dr Billy Garvey - From Boyz II Men - https://bit.ly/4zpm6QQ 📺 Things to watch Unskilled Adult - https://bit.ly/4dYgJQi 🎧 Things to listen to You’re A Good Kid - https://bit.ly/4z9u1Sp 📚Research to research Gretchen Rubin’s work on process over product - https://bit.ly/4z6UTCu Angela Duckworth’s work on grit - https://bit.ly/3WAhuJf 🚲 Things to check out Blue Derby Pods Ride - https://bit.ly/4irThwd Engage 1 on 1 Psychology - https://bit.ly/3Wev2dg 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
- 1 weeks ago1h 8m
How To Audit Your Mental Load with Prof. Leah Ruppanner
It’s time we talked about the mental load. Again. 💌 To join our journaling club, with 9,900+ others, subscribe to my imperfect email - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ Consider this a companion episode to our infamous, most shared episode of 2023, The Elephant in the Relationship where Hugh and Penny introduced us to their mental load, and how they were trying to make it more equal in their relationship. Today we’re sprinkling in some expertise and scientific data, as we’re joined by Professor Leah Ruppanner who explains to Hugh, Ryan and Josh that there’s actually 8 different types of mental load, and not all of them are draining. Bringing examples from their own lives, Hugh, Ryan and Josh discuss with Leah why the mental load can seem like an insurmountable amount of emotional thinking, and how partners can better communicate to reduce anxiety-like symptoms and burnout. We chat to Leah about the exacerbation of the mental load when chronic illness becomes part of the equation, and how to manage the mental load when there is no one to share it with. Chapters 00:00:00 – TRAILER 00:02:02 – The Mental Load is life changing for relationships 00:03:11 – Mental Load definition: emotional thinking work 00:05:41 – 3 characteristics of the mental load 00:08:00 – Mental Load vs Burnout: Treat Your Energy Like a Budget 00:14:19 – The Elephant in Hugh & Penny’s Relationship 00:16:50 – Type 1: Life Organisation 00:17:20 – Type 2: Emotional Support 00:18:00 – Type 3: Relationship Hygiene 00:19:03 – Type 4: Dream Building 00:20:26 – Type 5: Magic Making 00:25:00 – Type 6: Individual Upkeep 00:27:30 – Type 7: Safety 00:28:00 – Type 8: Meta Care (Doom Scrolling and the Mental Load) 00:29:56 – How to do a mental load audit with your partner 00:34:09 – Align your energy with your goals 00:36:25 – Delegating tasks vs sharing the mental load 00:38:24 – Shift work vs running the business 00:40:30 – Birthday presents and the perfect mother myth 00:41:30 – Mess: do men really not see it? 00:44:50 – Why women feel judged 00:48:41 – “Good enough is good enough” 00:54:13 – Mental load in same sex couples 00:57:07 – Why perspective + empathy matters 00:58:13 – Mental load when you’re single, or your partner won’t engage 00:59:02 – What a cancer diagnosis does for priorities 01:05:45 – A Little More Imperfects: Mental Load at Work 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Hugh & Penny - The Elephant in the Relationship - https://bit.ly/4zNi0C4 📚Things to read Drained, by Leah Ruppanner (this one has the audit in it) - https://bit.ly/47RUyI5 Motherlands, by Lead Ruppanner - https://bit.ly/3WjSCW0 Men do see the mess, study by Leah Ruppanner et al. - https://bit.ly/4dTCaSq Cognitive + Emotional Labour, research by Leah Ruppanner et al. - https://bit.ly/4eN3HFo 📺 Things to watch Inside Out - https://bit.ly/4yx5mG4 🂱 Things to do Fair Play Cards - https://bit.ly/3UFeWZK 💝 Breast Cancer Support Breast Cancer Network Australia - https://bit.ly/4igX8fj McGrath Foundation - 1800 183 338 Think Pink Foundation - https://www.thinkpink.org.au 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
- 2 weeks ago1h 10m
“MND Took Everything” Matt Nable on Grief, Depression & What Really Matters
In the end, Matt Nable wished his brother would give in. Motor neurone disease had taken everything, except his brother’s will to live. 💌 To join our journaling club, with 9,000+ others, subscribe to my imperfect email - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ Joining us in the studio today is writer, actor, boxer, and former rugby league player, Matt Nable. Recognisable for playing infamous tough guys on screen (Arrow, Underbelly, The Dry), Matt’s experience of loss and mental ill health has starkly redefined what he believes it is to ‘be a man’. Using the analogy of a ‘double edged sword’, Matt explains his experience with bipolar and hypomania, and how those periods have lead to the best, and worst, decisions of his life. Matt is incredibly generous in sharing his experience of biological melancholia depression, and explores with Josh just how quickly everything can seem to unravel. Matt speaks about the immense grief he carries for his brother who passed away MND, and how he was able to move through this grief to find purpose and compassion. *Content Warning: today's episode includes a discussion about psilocybin. In Australia, psilocybin is a controlled substance. Outside of authorised clinical settings, its use, possession and supply are illegal. This episode is not medical advice, and we're not encouraging or endorsing illegal drug use. Psilocybin can carry serious risks, particularly when taken without professional screening and supervision. Our guest's experience is their own and won't be typical of everyone's. This episode also mentions suicide. If you're struggling with grief or your mental health, please speak with your GP or a mental health professional. 🚨If you, or someone you know, are experiencing suicidal thoughts call lifeline on 13 11 14. In an emergency, call 000. Chapters 00:00:00 – TRAILER 00:02:48 – Childhood shapes who we are 00:03:40 – What does it really mean to be tough? 00:07:38 – Why Matt doesn’t think he is a tough man 00:09:21 – Redefining Masculinity, and Rejecting the Manosphere 00:12:00 – Letting Go of Ego 00:13:34 – Losing his brother to MND 00:20:40 – A Psilocybin Retreat for Grief: Matt’s Experience 00:23:08 – Meeting his younger self 00:24:09 – Reaching Acceptance 00:28:34 – Figuring out what really matters 00:35:12 – A brother’s love: Hugh & Josh reflect 00:38:55 – Finding humour in grief 00:40:34 – A Parent’s Grief vs a Sibling’s Grief 00:41:30 – The Meaning of Matt’s Tattoos 00:42:10 – Bipolar II + Melancholic Depression Diagnosis 00:43:46 – Hypomania: The Double-Edged Sword 00:46:52 – Matt’s rise to fame 00:51:10 – Bipolar vs Depression: The Crash, Exhaustion + Regret 00:52:34 – Sitting with someone in the dark 00:54:08 – The Quicksand of Men’s Mental Health 00:56:02 – Standing on the Edge: Josh’s Story 00:58:01 – Finding Joy in the Small Moments 01:01:29 – Writing as an Anchor Point 01:07:29 – Why men need to be vulnerable 01:07:59 – Journaling Club “How would you like to be remembered?” Some other great resources are below Black Dog Institute - https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au Beyond Blue - https://www.beyondblue.org.au 📚Things to read Mire, by Matt Nable - https://bit.ly/4hYglT0 Other books by Matt Nable - https://bit.ly/4dI1uut 📺 Things to watch The Final Winter - https://bit.ly/4s3EYSC Things to donate to Fight MND - https://fightmnd.org.au 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. Trailer footage sourced from Mr Inbetween.
- 3 weeks ago1h 30m
Zoë Foster Blake - Perimenopause, ADHD & Everything That Helped with Dr Fatima Khan
This is not your mother’s perimenopause. 💌 To join our journaling club, subscribe to my imperfect email - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ Joined by guest host Zoë Foster Blake, and Dr Fatima Khan, we’re diving head first into perimenopause: the what, the why, and the how-the-f**k to deal with it. Typically beginning in your late 30’s, and in your brain of all places, perimenopause symptoms include heightened anxiety, irritability, sleep disturbances, brain fog … all things that make you feel further and further away from your best self. Beginning 5 -7 years BEFORE your last menstrual period, perimenopause can coincide with postpartum, the most important presentation of your career to date, and the uncovering of neurodivergence, which may have been painstakingly masked until this shift in hormones. With the expertise of Dr Fatima, and the lived experience of Zoë, we hope this episode makes you feel seen, less alone, and ready to have THAT conversation with your GP. Chapters 00:00:00 The Truth of Perimenopause [TRAILER] 00:01:09 The Meet Cute of Zoe Foster Blake and Dr Fatima Khan 00:06:55 Is this Perimenopause? Early Signs + Symptoms 00:07:41 Zoe’s Perimenopause Journey: No Sleep, Anxiety, Rage, Repeat. 00:09:56 Volcanic Rage, Explained 00:14:59 What Doctor’s Miss: Misdiagnosis + Antidepressants 00:15:57 Why Your Husband Is Breathing Too Loud 00:20:18 Perimenopause Mental Health Screening 00:21:25 Debunking the “You’re Too Young” Myth 00:23:43 Is it Anxiety? Depression? Perimenopause? 00:25:26 The Pill, The Mirena + The Modern Woman in Peri 00:30:44 Loosing Yourself in Peri: Brain Fog + Dementia Fears 00:32:10 The Importance of Testosterone 00:36:00 HRT Myths: Re-educating a generation 00:39:04 A Script for a Script: What to say to your GP 00:41:12 Perimenopause Is a Multi-Organ Syndrome 00:46:09 High Achieving Women + Peri = Shame 00:46:47 When Perimenopause Unmasks Your ADHD 00:54:26 Trauma Reactivation in Perimenopause 00:57:17 Pills + Skills: Why HRT Alone Isn’t Enough 00:58:41 The Longevity of It All 01:00:30 Nutrition 📚Things to read Group Chat, by Zoë Foster Blake - https://bit.ly/4efqR70 Hormone Health is Mental Health, by Dr Fatima Khan - https://bit.ly/4j6G2Ts 💻Things to check out Australasian Menopause Society - menopause.org.au Meno-D questionnaire - https://bit.ly/3Toj3sN Zela Wellbeing - https://bit.ly/4ARGFXu 🎧Imperfects episodes for MORE on hormones Zoë Foster Blake - Zero Lucks Given - https://bit.ly/4y8xwHx Dr Louise Newson - Maybe it’s Menopause - https://bit.ly/4i7xM3F Dr Louise Newson - It’s Hormones. Period. - https://bit.ly/47ya9w2 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
- Oct 4, 20261h 10m
How OCD Hijacks Your Brain with Angie Greene
Angie’s OCD obsessions are that she has committed her worst, most insidious, fears. 💌 Join 9,500+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ Officially diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) when she was 19, some of Angie’s earliest memories are of obsessions, compulsions and seeking reassurance. Joining us in the studio, Angie talks to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about the reality of living with OCD, how she navigates particularly bad episodes with her partner, and why she wouldn’t wish it on her worst enemy Angie explains false memories, and the lengths she has gone to seek reassurance, and finally, why it is so important to her to create something that helps people feel less alone. In amongst all of the OCD chat, Hugh asks Angie about her anti-discrimination work and the beautiful story of where that passion came from. Chapters 00:00:00 – Trailer 00:01:27 – Angie + Hugh don’t do small talk 00:03:46 – Why Angie accepted an ARIA on behalf of Sia 00:05:45 – Growing Up in Sporting Royalty 00:07:45 – Why Angie’s Brother Came Out To Her 00:10:41 – “I’m Crying Because I Could Have Helped” 00:13:21 – Why Feeling Safe To Be Yourself Matters 00:15:02 – Angie’s Moral Compass: Where Does It Come From? 00:18:17 – OCD: Obsessions, Compulsions + Reassurance 00:20:45 – OCD Stereotypes vs Reality 00:22:52 – Feeling Like A Bad Kid 00:24:52 – Why OCD Makes Your Excruciatingly Self-Aware 00:28:02 – Examples of Intrusive Thoughts 00:30:23 – Invisible Compulsions: Kissing, Hugging, Incest 00:32:19 – Relationship OCD: Constant Fear of Cheating On Your Partner 00:34:37 – OCD False Memories: How The Brain Builds ‘Evidence’ 00:36:10 – Why Reassurance Seeking Never Brings Relief 00:39:13 – What It’s Like Loving Someone With OCD 00:41:40 – What OCD Has Cost Angie: Peace, Presence + Precious Moments 00:50:08 – Why Getting The Right Treatment Was Lifechanging 00:54:52 – What Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) Actually Looks Like 00:57:02 – How To Support Someone With OCD 00:59:01 – How Angie and Her Husband Manage OCD Episodes 01:02:53 – Finding Your People Through OCD 01:05:15 – How To Respond When Someone Tells You They Have OCD 01:08:24 – Tips for Supporting Someone Who Has OCD 🧠If you, or someone you know, has been diagnosed with or thinks they may have OCD, these are some great resources. In an emergency, always call 000. OCD BOUNCE - https://ocd.org.au OCD WA - https://www.ocdwa.com.au International OCD Foundation - https://iocdf.org The Joy Thief, by Penny Moodie - https://bit.ly/3VJaKZ4 It’s Not What You Think podcast - https://bit.ly/4iZppcj LifeLine - 13 11 14 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Penny Moodie - Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) - https://bit.ly/4jxTPTd Penny Moodie’s New Book - OCD & Finding Joy Again - https://bit.ly/4rGXkJa Rick Davies - Living with OCD - https://bit.ly/4hxuLZY Issac Humphries - Coming Out On Court - https://bit.ly/3VZDHQA 💻Things to check out Andrea Wallace’s Website - https://wonderpsychology.com Angie Greene’s Website - angiegreene.com.au 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
- Sep 27, 20261h 16m
Luke Bateman - Gambling With My Life
Mid 20's and $250,000 in debt. Gripped by a gambling addiction. How do you recover? 💌 Join 9,500+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ From the outside, it looked like Luke Bateman was living the dream: a professional NRL career with ludicrous pay checks and sponsorship deals. On the inside, Luke was battling a crippling gambling addiction, deepening depression and a widening chasm between the character he was playing, and his true authentic self. With immense courage, honesty and vulnerability, Luke takes Hugh, Ryan and Josh through the ups and downs of his recovery journey. Luke unpicks the difference between unconditional love and conditional help from his parents, and why his time in rehab was the best thing that ever happened to him. Luke speaks about how his journey with addiction impacted his relationship with his mum, and the gratitude he feels for her now, and how learning about internal family systems changed his life forever. Luke, you are such a beautiful person. Thank you for joining us today. This episode discusses gambling addiction and suicidal ideation. Please take care when listening. This episode is part of the BE HOPE Podcast Takeover, bringing podcasts around the world together to explore the themes of hope and how we can continue to make progress in a rapidly changing world - https://globalgoals.org/behope/ 🚨If you, or someone you know is struggling with a gambling addiction Call LifeLine - 13 11 14 Register at BetStop - betstop.gov.au Gamblers Anonymous - https://bit.ly/3TJ1C6d Gambling Help Online - gamblinghelponline.org.au In an emergency, always call 000 🩵To hear our chat with Luke about The Manosphere and to join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 0:00 – Trailer: $250K of Gambling Debt1:26 – Be Hope Podcast Takeover Announcement4:15 – Luke Bateman doesn’t fit in a box6:06 – Growing up ‘soft’ in Rural Queensland10:03 – Hiding Books from the Boys17:11 – The Shame of Reading19:22 – Chasing a Dream to Fill the Void22:26 – Money, Drugs & Alcohol in Professional Sport27:40 – Lies, Debt & Betting Company ‘VIP’ Treatment30:26 – Should Gambling Sponsorship Be Banned?31:11 – Rock Bottom33:18 – The Phone Call That Saved His Life39:45 – Rehab, Recovery + Relinquishing Control43:40 – Inside Rehab “Get a Real Addiction”47:21 – Recovery Is Not Linear50:21 – Internal Family Systems: Healing the exiled child56:05 – Generational Masculinity: Why Men Struggle to Connect58:19 – Denial + Corporate Greed1:03:13 – Luke’s Honesty Policy1:06:08 – Unconditional Love vs Conditional Help1:10:18 – Sharing Shame with Teammates1:11:37 – Luke’s Message to Anyone Struggling Right Now1:13:03 – Finding Your Way Back 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Jack’s Gambling Addiction Story - https://bit.ly/4hFQmk1 📚Things to read The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, by Kate DiCamillo - https://bit.ly/46FkS7v Keys to the Kingdom, by Garth Nix - https://bit.ly/4AnBxKB The Midnight Library, by Matt Haig - https://bit.ly/4d2Ozmx No Bad Parts, by Richard C Scharwtz - https://bit.ly/46FSGkU You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For, by Richard C Schwartz - https://bit.ly/3Tp0gx8 🎧Things to listen to In The Good Books with Luke Bateman I Matt Haig: Writing What You Need to Hear - https://bit.ly/4jjvBvK 📱Things to check out Luke’s Instagram (and his thoughts on male silence) - https://bit.ly/46AnIuy 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
- Sep 20, 20261h 11m
Dr Emily - The Phenomenon That Is Imposter Syndrome
Do you live in fear of being found out as a fraud? That despite your years of competency, achievement and high performance someone will uncover the truth? Well, you’re in the right place. Our resident psychologist Dr Emily Musgrove is here to tell you that your imposter syndrome is nothing to be afraid of. In fact, it’s not even a syndrome. 💌 Get practical take-aways from this episode, and join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ To get a little bit meta, Dr Emily explains that knowing that you don’t know everything, is a good thing. Especially if you’re starting a new role, or trying something for the first time. HOWEVER, the long-term consequences of the imposter cycle such as perfectionism, overcompensation, burnout, or even avoidance and procrastination, may impact your willingness to say yes to new opportunities, such as going for that promotion or asking for support. In this episode, Dr Emily asks Hugh, Ryan and Josh to think about the balance of their competence and confidence, and provides them (and you!) with four practical strategies for combatting this pesky phenomenon. And then, a weird amount of chat about Vlad the Impaler. 0:00 – An Emisode!2:41 – Adam Grant is not an imposter5:11 – Origins of Imposter Syndrome6:45 – ‘Syndrome’ is the wrong word8:19 – It all comes back to belonging10:39 – How common is imposter syndrome?12:20 – Fear of being found out as a fraud15:16 – The evolutionary psychology of belonging and self-doubt16:35 – Is self-doubt actually healthy?17:42 – Is your confidence a mask?18:57 – The Dunning-Kruger Effect23:15 – The more you know ….25:12 – Competence vs confidence26:29 – The Imposter Cycle: anxiety, perfectionism, luck32:09 – Becoming your own favourite artist35:55 – Avoidance, procrastination + self-fulfilling prophecies38:29 – Long term consequences ft. Hugh’s anus45:26 – Authenticity as the antidote46:22 – Less growth, less promotions48:52 – Strategy 1: write down your skills49:53 – Strategy 2: name your shame51:40 – Supporting a friend with imposter phenomenon52:29 – Self-doubt in a new role is a good sign57:12 – Strategy 3: mentor a near peer1:00:38 – Strategy 4: celebrate your success1:02:57 – Creating a good workplace culture1:04:06 – Belonging is good for business1:06:25 – Want more on belonging? Dr Em, thanks for joining us. 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Adam Grant - The Potential of Your Potential - https://bit.ly/4jc0DFM Dr Emily - We’re Longing for Belonging - https://bit.ly/4yElLJp Rana Hussain - Belonging for Connection - http://bit.ly/4odhGY8 Esther Perel - It’s Not Them, It’s You - https://bit.ly/4yxgljs 🎧Things to listen to The Curiosity Shop with Brene Brown and Adam Grant - https://bit.ly/4gT05mW 📖Things to read Hidden Potential, by Adam Grant - https://bit.ly/4AemQcv Hardwiring Happiness, by Rick Hanson - https://bit.ly/3T6IhM0 📺 Things to watch Mad Men - https://bit.ly/4cLB6zx 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
- Sep 13, 20261h 9m
Andy Lee - DO NOT Listen To This Episode!
When he was 15, Andy Lee’s mum forgot who he was. 💌 Join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ Given only two weeks to live, Andy tells Hugh, Ryan and Josh how this news impacted his family, impacted his childhood, and continues to impact his sense of self. And then, we’re going all the way back to the early days of Radio Karate, and Hamish & Andy. In a long overdue conversation (recorded, of course), Ryan and Andy chat about their own friendship dynamic and why they both felt like the odd one out. Getting down to business, Andy and Ryan discuss how a bunch of 20 year old guys made tough financial decisions while trying to remain mates, how they learnt to give constructive criticism to each other, and with the blessing of hindsight, how they feel about that time now. Andy, we’ve been waiting for this episode longer than a baker with his oven off. 0:00 – 2 years of secret vocal coaching4:35 – HOW long for one cartoon episode?5:48 – When Andy met Hamish (and Ryan)9:39 – The impact of getting cancelled after 5 episodes10:08 – The best advice Andy received14:07 – Jealousy, Jealousy20:25 – The Four Way Split of Hamish & Andy23:42 – Should we be recording this?25:10 – Social media has replaced the paparazzo26:11 – Andy’s nude photo scandal30:23 – Inspiration and renegotiation36:55 – The Vulnerabilitea House38:02 – When your mum is given two weeks to live40:30 – Rapid deterioration and rush to hospital43:28 – Taking on the parent role at 1546:04 – Furious at the new normal49:09 – Why “Don’t Worry, It’ll Be Fine” is the worst thing to say54:36 – Andy’s Dad’s incredible sacrifice58:20 – The Lee Gazette1:00:50 – Why we should talk about will’s 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Ryan Shelton - Shame, Jealousy & Purpose - https://bit.ly/4A230B5 📺 Things to watch Institute of Sayings from Real Stories - https://bit.ly/4xBJHgq Do Not Watch This Show! - https://bit.ly/4cAwlIZ New Zealand Spy - https://bit.ly/4hdjPBI 🎧Things to listen to Andy Lee on Falling Upwards with Kate Langbroek - https://bit.ly/4yucp30 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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About The Imperfects
We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.
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