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The Adoption Files: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Ande Stanley
The Adoption files seeks to provide a place for adoptees and allies to discuss the laws preventing adoptees from accessing their identities, and the emotional and physical challenges adoptees face in the process of dealing with the obstacles we face. We recognize the need to expose the problematic aspects of the adoption industry and the narrative they perpetuate. We will not only talk about the laws and the challenges they create, but also the ways that the mythology around adoption impacts the way we move through our lives, as adopted people and as mothers and other family members.
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- 1 weeks ago1h 3m
Turning Towards the Pain: a Continuing Conversation on Spiritual Trauma and Adoption
Please join us as we continue our conversation about spiritual trauma and adoption from our perspectives as an adoptee and as a mother who terminated her parental rights for the purposes of adoption. We are using the book Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing as a scaffold. You can find Dani Joy at: https://www.facebook.com/joyfuldjhttps://substack.com/@danijoy/note/p-191085730https://medium.com/@danijoyhttps://www.hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurtMentioned in the episode:https://www.britannica.com/topic/Mennonitehttps://faithalone.org/grace-in-focus-articles/what-is-free-grace-theology/Mentioning religions in the notes does not mean that the host or the podcast are recommending these religions or their beleifsThe opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinionsThe host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professionalhttps://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-healthThank you for listening!
- 2 weeks ago56 min
Healing, Recovery, Remaking: Which makes sense for you?
Please join me and my guest Dani Joy as we continue our conversation on spiritual trauma and adoption, from the perspectives of an adopted person and a mother of loss to adoption. We are using the book Holy Hurt by Hillary L McBride PhD as a guide for our discussion. https://medium.com/@danijoyhttps://www.hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurthttps://youtu.be/3e0-SsmOUJI?si=LfXUJu2f59sjqdThhttps://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-healthThe opinions of the host and their guest are just that, our opinionsThe host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professionalThank you for listening!
- 3 weeks ago48 min
Gods will or?
Please join Dani Joy and me, Ande, as we continue to discuss spiritual trauma and adoption, with the book Holy Hurt by Hilary McBride PhD as a scaffold. The foundation has been established, and now we are beginning the section of the book that discusses actively processing our trauma. We are working through this in real time, unscripted. Let us know if any of this feels familiar! Dani is a mother of loss to adoption, a homesteader and a writer. She loves to hear from people. She can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoyhttps://substack.com/@danijoyhttps://www.facebook.com/joyfuldjhttps://www.hillarylmcbride.com/https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-healthThe opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinionsThe host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professionalThank you for listening!
- 4 weeks ago48 min
I am terrible at titles. Continuing the conversation about spiritual trauma as people impacted by adoption
Yes, I am terrible at titles, and hate to mislead. Just laying that out there. Dani Joy, mother of loss to adoption and me, late discovery adopted person (as well as an intercountry adoptee from foster care in the UK to the US) continue to talk about deconstructing from the adoption narrative and from religious and spiritual trauma. What do they have to do with each other? Family loss is a profound spiritual trauma, and the belief systems we grew up in promote and glorify family loss via adoption. Dani can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoyDani enjoys hearing from people. We are using the book Holy Hurt as a scaffold for our conversation. The book and information about the author can be found at: https://www.hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurtMentioned in the episode:https://drlauraeanderson.com/Moms and adopted people are overrepresented in statistics for mental health issues, including suicidal ideation. Isolation and grief are two issues that profoundly impact our community. If you are in need of support, please reach out to someone. I am including some links to mental health helplines, as well as the link to Concerned United Birthparents and to Saving our Sisters. If anyone is aware of any adoptee -centric helplines that are not in some way controlled by the adoption industry, please let me know. Thank you! https://rainn.org/https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-healthhttps://www.thetrevorproject.org/https://concernedunitedbirthparents.org/https://www.savingoursistersadoption.org/Saving our Sisters and CUB are not mental healthcare providers, but are or are aware of support groups and resources for moms. The opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinionsThe host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professionalThank you for listening!
- Aug 18, 202649 min
Feel the Feelings: continuing our conversation on spiritual trauma
Hi! Please join me and my guest host Dani Joy as we continue with the next section of our conversation on spiritual trauma from our perspectives as a mother of loss to adoption and as a late discovery adopted person, raised in white, Christian contexts. Dani Joy is a mom and a homesteader. She can be found at:https://medium.com/@danijoyhttps://www.hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurtMentioned in the episode: https://editionsdujournal.groupelivre.com/products/ne-mappelez-pas-roxana?variant=48067092021505https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=core+emotions+chart&form=HDRSC3&first=1https://buddhistlearning.org/how-to-meditate-a-beginners-guide-to-buddhist-meditation/ This is a beginners quide to Buddhist meditation principles. Including this here is not an endorsement of a religion or a religious practice. This is provided because it includes what I was taught when attending meditation sessions at a local Buddhist monastery.Exploring our emotions, learning to recognize and to name them, can be overwhelming if we are not used to doing so. If you are feeling dysregulated or distressed, please seek support. I am including here links to some resources that might align with your needs. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/https://rainn.org/https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-healthThe opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinions.The host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professional. Thank you for listening!
- Jul 26, 202656 min
How to use Spirituality as a Defense against Discomfort: Spiritual Bypassing
Please join us as we continue our conversation around spiritual trauma and adoption as we work our way through the book Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing by Hillary L McBride PhD . Todays' episode explores the concept of spiritual bypassing as a coping mechanism to avoid feeling our core emotions. Joining me again today is Dani Joy, mom, homesteader, exvangelical. Dani can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoyhttps://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-healthThe opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinions. The host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professional.Thank you for listening!
- Jul 22, 202659 min
Your Feelings Matter: the Core Emotions and Spiritual Trauma
Please join Dani Joy and I as we delve into the core emotions and how we are born with these crucial forms of communication. We continue to explore how adoption and spiritual trauma intersect, using the book Holly Hurt as a framework for our discussion. Dani Joy can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoyhttps://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/Mentioned in the episode: https://www.relinquishedbook.com/https://savingoursistersadoption.org/saving-our-sisters-about-us/https://thefamilypreservationproject.com/https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-healthThe opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinionsThe host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professionalThank you for listening!
- Jul 12, 202650 min
Victim, Villain, Valiant Hero: The Drama Triangle and Spiritual Trauma
Please join Dani Joy and I as we continue our conversation about spiritual trauma and adoption. We are using the book Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing by Hillary L McBride, PhD as a scaffold for our conversation. We just started Chapter 5! How do the roles of victim, villain and rescuer play out in your life? What do they have to do with spiritual trauma? With adoption? Let us know what you think after you join us for the episode. Dani Joy can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoyShe loves to hear from people!https://hillarylmcbride.com/books/https://mental-health-matters.org/2021/01/20/what-is-the-karpman-drama-triangle/https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-healthThe opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinions,The host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professionalThank you for listening!
About The Adoption Files
The Adoption files seeks to provide a place for adoptees and allies to discuss the laws preventing adoptees from accessing their identities, and the emotional and physical challenges adoptees face in the process of dealing with the obstacles we face. We recognize the need to expose the problematic aspects of the adoption industry and the narrative they perpetuate. We will not only talk about the laws and the challenges they create, but also the ways that the mythology around adoption impacts the way we move through our lives, as adopted people and as mothers and other family members.
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