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Stillness in the Storms: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Steven Webb
This is a podcast for anyone going through something hard.No quick fixes. No everything happens for a reason. No advice from a man who has never had a bad week.I am Steven Webb. In 1991, aged 18, I dived into a swimming pool in Truro and broke my neck. I have been paralysed from the chest down ever since. That is not the hard part of the story. It took another twenty two years, a bankruptcy, a spell homeless and a dark night at forty before I found anything that actually helped.What helped was Zen. Not the serene kind with the robes and the incense. The kind you do at three in the morning when your head will not shut up and there is nobody to ring.Every week I sit down and talk honestly about one thing. Anger, grief, pain, the mind that will not be quiet, the exhausting business of pretending you are fine. Sometimes there is an answer. Often there is just company, which turns out to be most of what people needed anyway.Around sixteen minutes an episode. Nothing to sign up for.Ste
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- 1 weeks ago24 min
Your Hands Are Full: Why You’re Not Failing at Meditation
Why can't I stick to meditation when I know it helps? You're probably not lazy or broken. Your hands are already full, and practice shouldn't be one more box rammed into them.Support me with a coffee and join my Weekly Calm every Sunday: stevenwebb.ukIf someone walked up with their arms full of boxes, you'd never hand them another one. But when somebody is full on the inside, we tell them to meditate for 20 minutes a day, start journalling, exercise more, think positively. I've said them all. On the council I learned that capacity isn't only time. It's money, staff, expertise and deadlines too. A small study of four teenage girls with PTSD found people's ability to use a helpful app rose and fell with fatigue, school pressure and family strain. One caregiver said, "My willingness wasn't the problem, my life situation was." When my bank account lived in the overdraft, working out what I could pay ate up so much of my head. Money can't buy inner peace, but security makes room for it. Meditation can help create space, but sometimes you need a little space before you can meditate. Maybe today you need sleep, or something to eat, or to cancel something and ask for help.One thing to try: Before you add another practice, gently ask: what's filling my hands right now? What can be delayed, delegated or put down? Do I need a practice, or practical help? Some days, three breaths is the practice.In this episode Before you hand someone one more box What the council taught me about capacity Four teenagers, and "my willingness wasn't the problem" When my bank account lived in the overdraft When spiritual practice becomes another demand The overloaded circuit Sleep, and defragging the hard drive A compassionate capacity checkWith gratitude toYuva, Sarah, Dave, Angela, Daniel, Paul, Margaret, Cheryl, Kisha, Lis and EdonaThe companion meditation: Mind Full, Hands Full: A Meditation for OverwhelmSupport the podcast and join the Weekly Calm: stevenwebb.ukThank you for listening.StevenLinks to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.Free book: 5 Simple Practices for Inner Peace. Yours when you join my Weekly Calm.
- 4 weeks ago18 min
Why Is Everyone So Tired Right Now? How Awe Shrinks Worry
Why is everyone so tired right now? Not sleepy, world tired. Too much is changing too fast, our minds never come with an off switch, and we stay busy so we don't have to feel it.Support me with a coffee and join my Weekly Calm every Sunday: stevenwebb.ukAsk almost anyone how they are this week and listen to the first word. Tired. More than seven in ten American adults feel very tired or exhausted at least some days, and nine in ten adults in Britain felt high stress or pressure in the past year. Alvin Toffler saw it coming in 1970, before phones in our pockets and news all day long. Your body can be on the sofa while your mind is still on its feet, keeping watch. Busy works like a painkiller, so the moment we stop, it all arrives at once. We can't slow the world down, so I talk about a word I don't think I've ever used on this podcast. Awe. When we feel small in a good way, our worries get smaller too. Months after I broke my neck, they pushed me outside for fifteen minutes. All I could see was a car park, but the cold air on my lungs, wow. I went back to bed and slept for 24 hours.One thing to try: This week, spend one minute with something bigger than you. The sky, the sea, an old tree, or the dust dancing in a patch of sunlight. Don't name it, don't fix it. Just look, and let it be big.In this episode Ask anyone how they are, and the first word is tired Alvin Toffler's Future Shock, written in 1970 Your body's on the sofa, your mind's still on its feet Being busy works like a painkiller The word I've never used on this podcast: awe Months on a ward, then fifteen minutes in a car park The one minute practice Marcus Aurelius: is this necessary?With gratitude toKasia, Jane, Christine, Danielle, Lindsey, Katherine, Vicki, Fiona, Rebecca and Lorna. A warm welcome to Raquel and Jane, my newest monthly supporters, and thank you to Jenna and Mia for raising theirs.The companion meditation: Wisdom Within the Storm: A Meditation for Chaotic TimesSupport the podcast and join the Weekly Calm: stevenwebb.ukThank you for listening.StevenLinks to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.ukSteven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.uk
- Oct 4, 202614 min
Overwhelmed by the News: Caring Without Drowning
How do you care about what's happening in the world without it dragging you under? Practice first, news second. Then do one small thing and put it down.Support me with a coffee and join my Weekly Calm every Sunday: stevenwebb.ukThe night I broke my neck, I only had to get through the next breath. My family were stood in the corridor with nothing to do, not knowing if I'd see the morning. That's the harder seat, and now we're all sat in it, every day, on a phone. Our hearts were built for a village, not 24 hour news. After the Boston bombing, people who watched six hours of coverage a day were more stressed than some of the people who were actually there. I'm a terrible news junkie myself, so I talk about the feed I keep deleting and putting back, Sid Owen from EastEnders, and why the brain can't tell the telly from a war zone. Underneath the anger there's usually a deep caring. The way through isn't caring less.One thing to try: Before you scroll in the morning, sit quietly for ten minutes and write a small gratitude list. Then read the news, let yourself feel it, do the one small thing if there is one, and put it down.In this episode The night I broke my neck, and my family in the corridor Our hearts were built for a village The Boston bombing study: six hours of news a day The brain can't tell the telly from a war zone Caring without drowning: what you can do at arm's length Under the anger there's a deep caring Rabbi Tarfon: you can't finish the work, but you can't walk away Thomas Merton and the frenzy of the activistWith gratitude toTamsyne, Bridie, Orsolya, Paul, Ciaran, Cynthia, Sarpa, Jens, Linda and GenevieveThe companion meditation: When the News Is Too Much: A Meditation to Care and Still RestSupport the podcast and join the Weekly Calm: stevenwebb.ukThank you for listening.StevenLinks to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.ukSteven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.uk
- Sep 20, 202617 min
We're All Terrible Meditators: The Art of Doing Nothing on Purpose
Are you bad at meditating? So is everyone. The mind wanders because that is its job. Meditation is not quieting it, it is noticing you have gone and coming back.Support me with a coffee and join my Weekly Calm every Sunday: stevenwebb.ukWhen I started, I thought meditation was sit down, be quiet, no thoughts, pure bliss. It lasted about 30 seconds. Then a teacher gave me the only instruction that ever worked: just sit and do nothing. His version had four letters. Your body knows how to breathe and your mind knows how to go quiet. The job is getting out of their way. Think of a snow globe. To settle the snow you do nothing, you just watch, and life will shake it up again anyway. Every time the mind wanders it is a happy accident, as Bob Ross would say. Smile, say thank you mind, and come back.One thing to try: Get somewhere five minutes early and just sit in the car. Each time you catch the mind off in a story, smile, say thank you mind, and come back to what you can hear and feel. Five minutes, twice a day.In this episode Winnie the Pooh, and why meditation is doing nothing on purpose The only instruction that ever worked: just sit and do nothing (his had four letters) The snow globe. To settle the snow, you do nothing You're being thought. What's your next thought going to be? We're all terrible meditators, and why that is fine Bob Ross and the happy accident 178 podcasts and I've yet to find the one little thing that fixes everything Calvin and Hobbes, do a bit more nothing, and five minutes in the carWith gratitude toJess, David, Angi, Jeroen, Jose and Jill, Helen, Tracey, Carol, Hayden, Sarafena, Cheryl and Strength from Within Yoga, and new monthly supporter RowanThe companion meditation: Nothing to Get Right: A Peace Meditation With Little InstructionSupport the podcast and join the Weekly Calm: stevenwebb.ukThank you for listening.StevenLinks to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.ukSteven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.uk
- Sep 10, 202618 min
What Will I Miss? My Story for World Suicide Prevention Day
What would you miss? This episode is about suicide, my granddad's and my own, and the one question that kept me here. If you need help right now, the numbers are just below.If you need help right nowUK and Ireland: Samaritans, call 116 123. Free, any hour, any day.UK only, if you cannot talk: text SHOUT to 85258. Free, 24 hours.US: call or text 988.Australia: Lifeline, 13 11 14.I was 12 when my granddad went missing from the farm. The next morning Andy woke me and said they had found him. At 18 my heart was broken and I tried to end my life, and later that year I broke my neck and lay in a hospital bed thinking I was better off not here. Years on, at rock bottom again, I wrote a note, printed it, left it face down and went out in my chair with a plan. I sat there for two hours. What stopped me was my stepdaughter Kember and one thought: I wonder what she will become. I did not want to die. I just wanted the pain to stop, and I think that is true of almost everybody who says they do not want to be here. Around the world 727,000 people a year die by suicide, one every 43 seconds. Three in four are men, and the men most at risk are 50 to 54, which is right where I am. So this is the conversation.One thing to try: If you are anywhere near that door, ask one question. Not what will I lose, not what will I gain. What will I miss? Then hang on for a few more weeks. And if it is someone you love, ask them: just for a moment, tell me what you would miss.In this episode Who World Suicide Prevention Day is for, and a warning 727,000 a year. Three in four are men, and I am the age most at risk I was 12 when my granddad went missing from the farm 18, heartbroken, and a cry for help Lying in hospital with a broken neck, thinking I was better off not here The note on the computer, and two hours at the edge The thought that stopped me: I wonder what she will become A permanent solution to a temporary problem The text my daughter sends us now, and why it works What will I miss? The one question, and the numbers to ringSupport the podcast and join the Weekly Calm: stevenwebb.ukThank you for listening.StevenLinks to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.ukSteven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.uk
- Sep 6, 202618 min
Gates, Not Thorns: Are Your Boundaries a Prison?
Support Steven's work. Treat him to a coffee stevenwebb.ukAre your boundaries keeping you safe, or keeping you stuck? I have never liked the word. This week a reader called Katherine gave me a better one: gates, not thorns.I have carers in my life 24 hours a day, so I could not build walls even if I wanted to. I had to grow the strength to let the world in instead, and that is where I stand on boundaries. A red line between two people is healthy. It is an agreement, not a wall. A rulebook the whole world has to obey is not, and the old Buddhist texts do not even have a word for it. What they have is sila, your own conduct. Rules for you, and nobody else. A boundary that never comes down was never protection. It becomes a prison.One thing to try: Next time you go to defend something, ask one question. Is this a gate or a thorn? Protecting something tender until it is stronger is fine. Refusing the world is not.In this episode Katherine's email: a garden, not thorny bushes Come, even if you have broken your vow a thousand times Carers in my life 24 hours a day If you want to learn calm, spend time with your family A healthy boundary: not my best today, so I close the gate Red lines between two people are different The Buddhists had no word for boundaries. They had sila Life will not honour your bubble A boundary that never comes down becomes a prison Where in your life has a wall quietly become a prison?With gratitude toCheryl, Susan, Jane, Ankita, Dan, Cassie, Melanie, Joan and ReishinSupport the podcast and join the Weekly Calm: stevenwebb.ukThank you for listening.StevenLinks to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.ukSteven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.uk
- Aug 22, 202620 min
There Is No Steven in Here: What I Learned at the Bottom of a Swimming Pool
Who are you, really, behind all the roles? Sit properly with that question and no answer comes. That is the answer.Open me up and there is no Steven in there. In deep sleep there is no Steven either. We wake up and we come online and we boot the roles: dad, councillor, host, meditator. Each one needs a different set of skills, and you can only run one at a time. So who is watching the breath when you meditate? Ask whether you are aware of your left toe and you were not, and then you were. In that gap before the answer, there is nobody home, and that is not terrifying. It is the most freeing thing I know.One thing to try: Ask yourself, are you aware? Then notice the moment before you answer.In this episode I always wanted to be somebody, and should have been specific Every role needs a different set of skills In deep sleep there is no Steven You cannot run two roles at once Who is doing the relaxing Are you aware of your left toe No fixed little statue of you sits inside Do it with excitement and curiosity My daughter found it terrifying. It is notWith gratitude toYuva, Karin, Sue, HJ, Anita, Lorraine, Brandy, Jane, Sergio and IrmaSupport the podcast and join the Weekly Calm: stevenwebb.ukThank you for listening.StevenLinks to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.ukSteven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.uk
- Aug 11, 202619 min
If This Were My Last Podcast
If this were my last podcast, what would I want to leave you with? Let everything happen to you. No feeling is final.That is Rilke, and it is where this one started. No script, just a cup of coffee. You cannot change the present moment. You cannot grow your hair, lose weight, get younger or stop the rain in this second, and yet we spend enormous energy arguing with what has already arrived. Imagine a rainbow with only two colours in it. That is a life lived in a narrow band of feeling. Watching the film Albatross and hearing the ending changed how I think about all of it.One thing to try: Ask one question today. What small colour can I let into my life?In this episode You cannot change the present moment Arguing with what has already arrived The hero on the uncomfortable cushion The good times need nothing from you Born, pain, desire, joy, rain, shine. All of it Not every voice is healthy, but all of them carry weight Rilke, and go to the limits of your longing A rainbow with only two colours What would love be without loss What small colour can I let inWith gratitude toSenga, Jess, Anita, Sue, Evelyn and GlennSupport the podcast and join the Weekly Calm: stevenwebb.ukThank you for listening.StevenLinks to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.ukSteven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.uk
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About Stillness in the Storms
This is a podcast for anyone going through something hard.No quick fixes. No everything happens for a reason. No advice from a man who has never had a bad week.I am Steven Webb. In 1991, aged 18, I dived into a swimming pool in Truro and broke my neck. I have been paralysed from the chest down ever since. That is not the hard part of the story. It took another twenty two years, a bankruptcy, a spell homeless and a dark night at forty before I found anything that actually helped.What helped was Zen. Not the serene kind with the robes and the incense. The kind you do at three in the morning when your head will not shut up and there is nobody to ring.Every week I sit down and talk honestly about one thing. Anger, grief, pain, the mind that will not be quiet, the exhausting business of pretending you are fine. Sometimes there is an answer. Often there is just company, which turns out to be most of what people needed anyway.Around sixteen minutes an episode. Nothing to sign up for.Ste
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