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Suburban Black Girl Podcast: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Ashlyn & Blake
Hosted by Ashlyn and Blake, two multifaceted Black women based in Houston, Softly Unfiltered is where soft meets honest. Each week, we get real about personal growth, healing, navigating corporate America, and the messy, funny, and complex realities of modern dating. From breaking generational cycles to finding our voice in spaces that weren't built for us, our conversations blend honesty, humor, and hard truths—all rooted in our lived experiences.Whether we're swapping stories, tackling trending topics, or unpacking the unspoken rules of friendship, relationships, beauty, ambition, and womanhood, we're here to remind you that you can be soft and strong, ambitious and at peace, healed and still healing.If you've ever felt like you're balancing a hundred different versions of yourself, welcome. This is a space for the multifaceted girlies. Pull up a seat. The group chat is live. 💕New episodes every Wednesday.
Latest Episodes
The most recent episodes — sign up to get AI-powered summaries of each one.
- 2 days ago39 min
Everything We Love About Being Black | Celebrating The Culture That Shaped US | Anniversary Episode
In this episode, we’re celebrating two years of Softly Unfiltered with a conversation about everything we love about being Black.This is not a trauma episode or an explanation episode. It’s a love letter to Black culture, Black joy, Black women, Black men, our hair, humor, creativity, style, family, community, music, traditions, and all the little things that make being Black feel like home.We get into:• Why Blake would choose to come back Black every time• Why Black American culture is the blueprint globally• The unspoken language between Black people in a room• How changing our hair unlocks a whole new persona• The way Black women and the girls hype each other up• Why corporate America made Blake more unapologetically Black• Where Black women’s resilience comes from• Why being Black is something we celebrate, not something we surviveThis episode is a celebration of the range within Blackness and the culture that continues to shape how we move through the world.Tell us in the comments: what do you love most about being Black?📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!Visitsoftlyunfiltered.com
- 1 weeks ago29 min
No Is a Full Sentence | Boundaries, Guilt & People-Pleasing
Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women.Why does saying no feel so uncomfortable, even when you already know you do not want to do something?In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn unpack why women are so often taught to soften, justify, apologize for, and over-explain their boundaries. From the pressure to stay likable and agreeable to the guilt that comes with disappointing people, we get into what it actually looks like to let your no stand on its own.We talk about why assertive men are often seen as confident while assertive women get labeled difficult, why over-explaining gives people room to negotiate your boundaries, how to let an uncomfortable moment stay uncomfortable, and why some relationships normalize self-sacrifice as proof of love.We also get into:• Why over-explaining can really mean "please don't be mad at me"• Why your yes can become a no• Letting grown adults manage their own feelings• Why you may regret your yeses more than your nos• What it looks like when people feel entitled to your reasoning• Why saying no more can create more peace, time, and space for yourself• The question to ask before saying yes: do I actually have room for this?Today's Soft Landing:Your no does not need to be defended to be valid. You can be kind without being available, loving without being accessible, and considerate without abandoning yourself. Sometimes the most peaceful thing you can say is simply no. No is not rude. It is clarity.📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!Visit Softlyunfiltered.com
- 2 weeks ago36 min
Things We're Too Grown To Still Be Doing | Dating, Friendship & Boundaries
Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women.At some point, certain things stop feeling fun, dramatic, or worth entertaining and start feeling exhausting.In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn talk about the things they're officially too grown to still be doing: passive-aggressive friendships, situationships, emotional chaos, repeating boundaries, male-centered friendships, people who want you dysregulated, and relationships that cost too much peace.This one is lighter, a little shady, and very honest about the habits and dynamics that used to feel normal but no longer match the women we're becoming.We get into:• Why jabs disguised as jokes can reveal something deeper• Why some people get irritated when you stay calm during conflict• The difference between caring and becoming emotionally reactive• Breaking generational patterns of chaos• Why fighting is not proof that someone loves you• Why we're too grown for situationships and wasted time• The problem with passive aggression in adult friendships• Why boundaries should not need endless explanations• Being too grown for male-centered friendships• Why protecting your peace may cost you relationshipsToday's Soft Landing:Being grown is not about having everything figured out, it is about recognizing what costs too much and choosing not to keep paying for it with your peace. At some point, being too grown is discernment. It is knowing what no longer matches the woman you are becoming.What is one thing you are officially too grown to still be doing?📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!Visit softlyunfiltered.com
- 3 weeks ago34 min
The Glow Up After the Hard Season | Why Women Come Back Differently
Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women.The glow up after a hard season is rarely just about how you look. It is about the boundaries you finally set, the patterns you stop repeating, the peace you protect, and the version of yourself you become after life forces you to tell yourself the truth.In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn talk about what really changes after heartbreak, betrayal, burnout, disappointment, or any season that forces you to rebuild. We get into why women are praised for surviving but rarely supported while they heal, what it means to stop healing for other people, and why accountability is one of the biggest parts of a real comeback.We also get into:• Why the real glow up starts internally• The same man, different font dating pattern• Why women are praised for surviving in silence• Healing for yourself instead of healing for a man• The therapy session that changed a relationship• How accountability and stronger boundaries change your life• Why staying too long is something you may have to own• Why a 10-step glow-up routine cannot replace inner work• Nervous-system regulation, trauma, stress, and the physical glow• Why your vision board matters less than who you need to become• How showing up for yourself consistently creates the real comebackToday's Soft Landing:The real glow up is not always what people can see. Sometimes it is quieter than that. It is stronger boundaries, deeper peace, clearer standards, and finally becoming someone you can trust. Pain may have changed you, but that does not mean it wasted you.What hard season changed you for the better, even if you didn't understand it at the time?📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!
- Oct 14, 202635 min
Stop Caring What People Think They Don't Live in Your Shoes
Everybody has an opinion about your life, but they are not the ones who have to live with the consequences of your choices.In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn talk about self-trust, discernment, projection, people-pleasing, intuition, and what it actually looks like to stop asking other people to approve a life they will never have to live. We get into the subtle ways people sow doubt, why success can change relationships, protecting big dreams before they are ready to be shared, and learning to be okay with being misunderstood.We also get into:• How to tell the difference between wise counsel and projection• Why some people cheer for you until you start to pass them• Being willing to be misunderstood as you grow• The line between protecting your plans and shrinking yourself• Why big dreams can scare the people you tell• Trusting your intuition and listening to your body• A relationship dream that kept sending the same warning• Why the highest form of peace may be letting go of the need to be understood• Being unapologetic about your standards• Why not every opinion deserves weightToday's Soft Landing:You do not need everyone to understand the life you are building. Some people will doubt you because they cannot see it yet. Some will project because they never tried. Their fear does not have to become your ceiling. Everybody with an opinion does not have wisdom.Whose opinion have you been giving too much power over your life?📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!Vist softlyunfiltered.com
- Oct 7, 202644 min
I'm Not Who I Was, And That's the Point | Celebrating Growth, Change & Becoming
Episode 100. Almost two years of showing up, evolving, changing our minds, changing our standards, and becoming women our episode-one selves might not fully recognize.In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn reflect on what has changed since the beginning of the podcast — from relationships and friendships to career, confidence, generosity, dating standards, and the way they see themselves.We talk about why growth is supposed to change you, why endings are not always bad, what we no longer believe about the ‘dream job,’ and why doing the work on yourself creates a kind of confidence that nobody else can give you.We also get into:• Why people sometimes call you fake when you evolve• Learning to embrace endings and changing seasons• Why dream jobs in corporate America no longer feel real to us• The 50/50 conversation and why splitting bills does not automatically make life equal• Grieving the version of yourself that gave too much• How self-work changes your confidence• What we hope the next version of ourselves looks like by Episode 200• Purposeful, peaceful, pretty, and paidToday’s Soft Landing: You are allowed to become someone your old self would not fully recognize. Change does not make you fake. Growth does not make you disloyal. Sometimes the point is to outgrow the version of you that only knew how to survive.What is one way that you have changed that you are finally proud of?📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!Visit softlyunfiltered.com
- Sep 30, 202649 min
Feel It, Don’t Become It | How to Manage Your Emotions Without Letting Them Control You
Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women.Your feelings are valid, but that does not mean every emotion needs to become an immediate reaction. This week Blake and Ashlyn are talking about emotional maturity, anger, hurt, boundaries, self-awareness, and what it actually looks like to process your feelings before they control how you move.From needing time before a difficult conversation to deciding what does and does not need to be addressed, this episode is about learning how to feel deeply without handing your emotions the steering wheel.In this episode:· Why adults struggle to name what they are actually feeling· When anger is covering hurt, embarrassment, rejection, or fear· Why taking time to process can be healthier than reacting immediately· Why nobody owes you anything and how that can change your expectations· How emotional reactivity shows up in relationships, friendships, and work· Why Black women often have to regulate differently in corporate spaces· What lashing out can permanently change in a relationship· Why not everything that bothers you needs to be addressed· How being constantly outside or in relationships can become a way to avoid yourself Today’s Soft Landing: You do not have to suppress your emotions to be mature. You just have to stop handing them the steering wheel. Feel it, name it, sit with it, and then choose a response your future self can live with.What emotion do you usually react from before you understand what is underneath it?📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify! Visit softlyunfiltered.com
- Sep 23, 202639 min
Who The Hell Was That? Outgrowing Old Versions of Yourself, Red Flags & Self Trust
Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women.Have you ever looked back at an old version of yourself and thought, who the hell was that? This week Blake and Ashlyn are laughing lovingly at the things they used to tolerate, believe, excuse, and over explain while unpacking what changed along the way.From trusting your intuition to forgiving yourself for accepting less, this conversation is about the standards, boundaries, and self trust that come with finally knowing better.In this episode:· Why your body can recognize a red flag before your mind catches up· Why women are often taught to second guess their intuition· The role luck, access, and connections can play in success· How to forgive yourself for accepting less than you deserved· Why relationships can start to feel like performance· How dating changes when you stop romanticizing potential✨Today’s Soft Landing: You are allowed to laugh at who you used to be without hating her. She may have accepted less than she deserved, but she was also learning, surviving, and gathering the wisdom you get to live out today.What is something you used to tolerate that your current self would never accept?📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!softlyunfiltered.com
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About Suburban Black Girl Podcast
Hosted by Ashlyn and Blake, two multifaceted Black women based in Houston, Softly Unfiltered is where soft meets honest. Each week, we get real about personal growth, healing, navigating corporate America, and the messy, funny, and complex realities of modern dating. From breaking generational cycles to finding our voice in spaces that weren't built for us, our conversations blend honesty, humor, and hard truths—all rooted in our lived experiences.Whether we're swapping stories, tackling trending topics, or unpacking the unspoken rules of friendship, relationships, beauty, ambition, and womanhood, we're here to remind you that you can be soft and strong, ambitious and at peace, healed and still healing.If you've ever felt like you're balancing a hundred different versions of yourself, welcome. This is a space for the multifaceted girlies. Pull up a seat. The group chat is live. 💕New episodes every Wednesday.
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