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by Julia Rangiheuea
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- Yesterday43 min
Coercive Control, a Life Sentence & Finding Love in Prison: Peter Bates
Peter Bates was just a child when his father poured petrol over him and his mother to stop her from leaving. Extreme violence, coercive control, and fear shaped Peter’s childhood, but home wasn’t the only place he was unsafe. At school, he experienced SA at the hands of a male teacher. Desperate to escape the violence, Peter found himself homeless at a young age. But after a tragic accident led to the loss of an innocent young life, Peter was sentenced to life in prison, believing his own life was effectively over too. Instead, prison became the place where Peter began to change. Peter is now a passionate advocate for domestic violence and coercive control. You can connect or work with Peter Bates below; https://petebatesproject.com/ Instagram: @petebatesprojectTRIGGER WARNING: domestic violence, coercive control and suicide discussed in detail. Please listen with care.Ready to share your story? Email: hello@soberlyspeaking.com.auDisclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we strive to present these narratives accurately, the views and claims expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, do not take responsibility for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised.The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotlineCreator & Host- Julia RangiheueaImage & Logo- Jasmine RuleIn the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.
- 2 weeks ago47 min
The Cycle of Violence and Abandonment: Luke's Story
Growing up around addiction, instability and an absent father shaped the course of Luke’s life long before he understood it.In this episode, Luke speaks openly about avoiding accountability and the impact his behaviour had on the people around him during the darkest periods of his life. Beneath it all was a lifelong search for love, validation and escape.TRIGGER WARNING: This episode discusses suicide, mental health struggles, violence and domestic violence. Please watch with care.Ready to share your story? Email: hello@soberlyspeaking.com.auDisclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we strive to present these narratives accurately, the views and claims expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, do not take responsibility for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised.The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotlineCreator & Host- Julia RangiheueaImage & Logo- Jasmine RuleIn the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.
- 3 weeks ago39 min
The Hidden Grip of Pokies: How a Mum of Six Nearly Lost Everything
If a mum of six can walk into her local pub and lose hundreds of thousands on a poker machine, where does the responsibility actually sit?Is it the machines, engineered to be addictive? The system that allows them to exist in every pub and club across the country? Or the individual sitting in front of them?In this episode I sit down with Kate Seselja, founder of The Hope Project, who shares her 15-year experience of gambling harm inside Australia's pokies crisis. She opens up about pulling money from her family business and mortgage just to keep playing, and what it actually cost her and her family.I also bring in a political voice. NSW Greens MP Cate Faehrmann joins to break down what is really happening, or not happening, in parliament when it comes to poker machine reform in Australia.Follow The Hope Project on InstagramFollow Cate Faehrmann on InstagramReady to share your story? Email: hello@soberlyspeaking.com.auDisclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we strive to present these narratives accurately, the views and claims expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, do not take responsibility for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised.The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotlineCreator & Host- Julia RangiheueaImage & Logo- Jasmine RuleIn the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.
- 4 weeks ago53 min
Are You Addicted to Chaos? with Drew Wild
You stopped drinking. You changed your habits. So why does it still feel like something is missing?Work, the gym, your phone, the constant chase for more… sometimes the patterns just shift rather than disappear.Trauma Therapist Drew Wild is back on the podcast to go deeper into what might be sitting underneath it all. We talk about the root of these patterns, why we can stay stuck in certain cycles, and what it takes to actually move forward.We also get honest about the identities we outgrow but feel scared to leave behind, our relationship with money and validation, and what you truly want when you strip everything back.Follow Drew Wild on Instagram: @drew_wildBook a session with Drew Wild HERECreator & Host: Julia RangiheueaReady to share your story? Email: hello@soberlyspeaking.com.auDisclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we strive to present these narratives accurately, the views and claims expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, do not take responsibility for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised.The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotlineIn the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.
- Apr 12, 202639 min
The Secret Inside the Family: Understanding Tanisha’s Substance Use
Trigger warning: This episode discusses child SA within a family, domestic violence and su*cide. Listener discretion is advised. Support resources are listed below.As a teenager, when Tanisha tried to speak her truth, she was not believed by those closest to her. That silence left her carrying a deep emotional weight alone. Over time, she entered a difficult and unsafe relationship, and in that period she began using cash advances to obtain substances, believing she would not have a long future. When the money ran out, she turned to alcohol, believing it was a more socially accepted way to cope. What started as occasional drinking gradually became more frequent. It wasn’t until she began therapy that she was able to reframe her past, reflect on her experiences, and slowly move toward sobriety.Follow Tanisha on Instagram: @t_soberclubCreator & Host: Julia RangiheueaReady to share your story? hello@soberlyspeaking.com.auDisclaimer:The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we aim to present these narratives accurately, the views expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, are not responsible for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised.If this episode has brought up anything for you, support is available:1800RESPECT (24/7): 1800 737 732Lifeline (24/7): 13 11 14Bravehearts: 1800 272 831National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline (24/7): 1800 250 015If you’re outside Australia, please reach out to your local support services.In the spirit of reconciliation, Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.
- Apr 5, 202645 min
Sugar Babying, Motherhood & Starting Again: Mikaela's Story
From a young age, Mikaela felt the pressure to please those around her, men especially. At seventeen, she met the father of her firstborn in the chaos of partying and substance use. What began as young love slowly turned into a life she felt trapped in. With a mortgage, a baby on the way and no income of her own, leaving no longer felt like an option.When she finally did leave, Mikaela was on her own with a three-month-old and little to no resources. Starting again from scratch, she navigated the highs and many lows of online dating before being introduced to the world of sugar babying. In this episode, she shares what it means to balance single motherhood, sobriety and the emotional weight of living with personality disorders.Trigger warning: This episode explores sensitive topics including substance use, mental health and personality disorders.Follow Mikaela on Instagram: @manic.dream.pixie.xoCreator & Host: Julia RangiheueaReady to share your story? Email: hello@soberlyspeaking.com.auDisclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we strive to present these narratives accurately, the views and claims expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, do not take responsibility for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised.The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotlineIn the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.
- Mar 29, 202653 min
"I'm Buying Friends" - Alex Wired Corporate Funds to Feed His Gambling Addiction
Growing up as a second-generation Chinese Australian in Canberra, Alex spent much of his childhood wanting to be anything but himself. At just eight years old, he made a quiet but powerful connection: success, titles and money equals love.That belief followed him into adulthood and when COVID hit, the pressure, boredom and loss of identity converged into a gambling addiction that quietly took over his life. He was placing sports bets in the middle of the night, lying to his partner about missed bills and rent, borrowing money from friends and slowly losing the relationships that mattered most to him.Then came the moment everything unravelled. He had been stealing funds from his employer and one ordinary day, he was called into an office and told he was under internal investigation. As frightening as that moment was for Alex, it was also the first day of the rest of his life. Gambling Help Online gamblinghelponline.org.auOnline counselling available 24/7, including live chat and email supportCreator & Host: @JuliaRangiheueaReady to share your story? Email: hello@soberlyspeaking.com.auDisclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we strive to present these narratives accurately, the views and claims expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, do not take responsibility for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised.The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotlineIn the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.
- Mar 22, 202645 min
A Young Life of Crime: Raj
Trigger warning: this episode contains discussion of sexual assault.Raj's earliest memory is of his father leaving him on the side of the road to teach him a lesson. It was the first of many moments that taught him emotions weren't safe to show.By his teens, he was selling and using. What began at parties didn't stay there and one line led to another until he was moving large amounts of drugs and dealing weapons. Two stints in jail later, the reality of that life had nothing left to romanticise.Now in his twenties, Raj is starting over. In this episode, he talks about how he got in, what it cost him and why he's adamant about one thing: there's nothing gangster about it.Follow Raj on Instagram: @Emceerajj_Creator & Host: Julia RangiheueaReady to share your story? Email: hello@soberlyspeaking.com.auDisclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we strive to present these narratives accurately, the views and claims expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, do not take responsibility for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised.The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotlineIn the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.
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About Soberly Speaking
Stories from everyday people sharing their darkest moments that led to sobriety. Shedding light on our struggles to help those still finding their way out.
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