Moonlight Over Blood-Stained Ice

For tonight’s tale, we join two young lovers on their way home from an adventure. Yet this was no ordinary date. For they went out in search of a vampire. They wanted to make contact with this denizen of the dark, for they walked the path of the damned as well. They were vampires. Well, not in, like, the literal sense or anything like that. It was complicated and you probably wouldn’t understand, so stop asking about it. Do not presume to judge these two young pilgrims too harshly. You too probably did some weird shit too when you were young. So be thou not proud, gentle listener.             So the two young lovers got on a bus expecting it to take them part of the way home. But fate had different plans for them. The bus they were riding was being driven by none other than Tomisaburo, the demon fox lord of the River Village. He informed them that they were scheduled to meet the Vampire Lord of the River Village. The two of them had completed their initiation rituals, and it had been decided that it was time for them to finally become vampires. Like, for real, this time.             The journey to the netherworld was long, and fraught with turmoil and confusion. They were forced to confront the mystery of where Tomisaburo got his uniform, how he obtained his bus license, and other trifling mysteries. But at the heart of it all, the two aspiring vampires feared they were not worthy of the dark honor they were about to receive. Tomisaburo reassured them that their claim to their dark honor was valid and well earned. As they all stood before the Vampire Lord of the River Village, their claim was challenged by none other than the Devil Monk, who was in a nearby trash can for unknown reasons. Beneath the eyes of the Vampire Lord, they must join forces with Tomisaburo to defend their claim to the dark gift they have longed for since a few months ago.             This tale is about vampires, so it deals with people drinking blood. It was kind of unavoidable. It also deals with the Devil monk, so there is a great deal of creepy, antisocial behavior. Other themes include vampirism, body horror, public swimming pools and the horrible things people do in them, violence, public alcohol consumption, and profanity. Listener discretion is advised.