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Love Inside Out with Adele Testa: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Adele The Coach
What if the way we've been thinking about love is keeping us from actually having it?Whether you're happily partnered, struggling to connect, or somewhere in the messy middle—pull up a chair. Let's figure this out together.Love Inside Out is for anyone who's ever felt like they're performing in their relationship instead of living in it. For people who wonder if compromise has turned into playing small. For those asking: Why was this easier in my twenties?I'm Adele—coach, and curious human. Thank you for joining me in this journey!
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- Yesterday10 min
Replay #7: how expectations damage your relationship and dating experience
From episode 13, today we speak about the invisible contract: all the things you expect from love that you never actually said out loud. In this episode I cover the difference between assumptions, standards, and expectations, and why the silence around them is what really damages our relationships. I explore where these hidden rules come from: our families, our culture, the movies we grew up on, and the exes who left scars we mistook for boundaries. I share my own messy rule book too. And I give you two simple heart work exercises to start making the invisible visible. Enjoy a cold drink over this hot day in JulyGet in touch at @adele_thecoach
- 4 days ago18 min
Heart Note #7: Visiting the in-laws and what to watch for
Holidays with the in-laws are the narrative of many TV comedies for a reason. We treat the family visit as something to survive and as a chance to assess who we've ended up with. But a family holiday is a mirror, and it gets held up to both of you.This week, I explore what a summer trip to the in-laws really reveals: why your partner regresses at their mother's kitchen table (and why it's loyalty, not weakness), what family researchers call differentiation, and the childhood role that's waiting for each of us, folded by the door like an old cot.The invitation is to watch yourself first, your body, your role, and the moment you choose tenderness over a scorecard.🤎 Heard something that landed? DM me on Instagram @adele_thecoach
- 1 weeks ago16 min
Replay #6: How do compromise and gratitude overlap in love?
Have you ever talked yourself out of asking for something you needed, because it could be worse?At least he doesn't cheat. At least she's loyal. At least they come home every evening.We call it gratitude. Sometimes it is. And sometimes it's just the most socially acceptable way to stay quiet about something that actually matters to us.This episode is about the blurry line between the gratitude and compromise, and the moment gratitude stops being a practice and starts being a hiding place.I'll share the difference between healthy gratitude, and the version that quietly silences you. One makes room for both truths. The other slowly makes you smaller.We look at what playing small actually sounds like such as the apology before the need, the I don't mind when you very much do mind, the light you dim so you don't outshine someone else. And we look at how men play small too, quietly and almost invisibly, in a way that rarely gets talked about. If you've ever watched a partner go from present to merely polite, that part is for you.This isn't an anti-gratitude episode. Gratitude is one of the most beautiful practices we have, and it's part of my own Buddhist practice. But gratitude and desire were never opposites. You can be grateful AND ask for more.You'll leave with one question and reflections to sit with this week.And if you're single right now, stay with me. This pattern doesn't wait for a relationship to show up: it starts much earlier, in friendships, in family, in the way we learn to take up less room everywhere.If someone comes to mind while you're listening, send it to them. Sometimes that's the whole conversation.Ciao 🤎
- 1 weeks ago14 min
Heart Note #6: Whose summer are you actually trying to have?
You opened your phone to check one thing and there they were. The single friend "finally having her summer." The couple who make it all look effortless. And you, on a perfectly ordinary evening, somehow feeling behind on both.This week's Heart Note sits with that quiet ache: the two summers we're told to perform, and the shame of feeling like we're doing neither one right. One question to carry: whose summer are you actually trying to have? 🤎🎧 Go deeper by listening to the full Gratitude & Compromise episode on Spotify (click here) or on Apple Podcast (click here)📲 Come say hi on Instagram: @adelethecoach
- 2 weeks ago13 min
Replay #5: self-love and romantic love
If you've ever quietly believed you need to become a fixed, better version of yourself before you're ready for real closeness, this episode is for you.We'll untangle self-love from the things it keeps getting mistaken for, like the spa day, or aspiring to be perfect. Then I'll hand you the tool I actually reach for on the days I've been unkind to myself: seven words, all starting with the same letter, small enough to keep somewhere you'll see them.I'll walk you through five simple moves for staying close to yourself and open to another person at the same time, how to notice what you need before you vanish into what they need, how to keep what's yours without turning it into a wall, and how to let being loved gently teach you to love yourself.You can still be figuring yourself out and be entirely worthy of love. Both. At once.Find a quiet few minutes for this Summer Heart Note. I'll meet you there.
- 2 weeks ago14 min
Heart Note#5:the picture I didn't take
It was my birthday week. Golden light, my hometown beach, my partner and my child beside me and when the phone came up, I found a reason to leave. Because that isn't the body I wanted back after the pregnancy, and I didn't want it standing there forever.I protected myself from the picture. And I lost the day.This Heart Note isn't a pep talk about loving your body. It's about the quiet trade so many of us make every summer without noticing and the surprising place it shows up next. The instinct that pulls you out of the photo is the same one that pulls you back from the person who loves you.In this episode:Why summer exposes something in adults that children never feelThe trade you think you're making and the one you're actually makingWhat "being seen" really means (and why we hear it far too small)The thing a newborn taught me about being loved with nothing to offerOne question to carry with you this weekIf you've ever deleted a photo of a happy day just because of how you looked in it — this one's for you.🎧 Wednesday's replay goes deeper: an extract of the self-love and romantic love episode, and what it means to feel at home in your own skin.Here is the full episode, if you are curious to listen to it Apple podcast link Spotify link
- 3 weeks ago17 min
Replay #4: how to find your person
Are you single and wondering if love will ever find you? Or are you dating and unsure if this is the right person? This episode is for anyone navigating the messy, confusing world of relationships and choice.I explore three powerful ideas that can transform how you approach dating: Know yourself first by understanding your patterns and what you actually need (not just what sounds good on paper). Observe, don't project—stop filling in the gaps with who you hope someone could become, and see who they actually are. And finally, let time do the work—character reveals itself slowly, and the right person doesn't need to feel like fireworks.Discover why settling from desperation never works, how to distinguish between intensity and ease, and why the best relationships often arrive in unexpected packages. Because choosing a partner is one of the most life-influencing decisions you'll make. Make it from clarity, not fear.A conversation about patience, self-knowledge, and recognizing love when it's quiet enough to feel like a deep breath.
- 3 weeks ago17 min
Heart Note #4: Why everyone's on the dating apps in summer
It starts with a quiet Sunday evening. The sun is still up, everyone else seems to be out living their best summer, and suddenly you are downloading the dating app you swore you deleted for good.In this Summer Heart Note, we look at what that ache may really be: the wish to feel wanted, the need for someone to share a sunset with, the discomfort of arriving alone to another barbecue, or simply the feeling that summer is happening somewhere else.This is not an episode telling you to stay off the apps. It is a gentler invitation to pause before you swipe, understand what you are actually looking for, and date without handing your worth to a stranger’s thumb.Bring a cold drink and an honest answer. This one may help you use the apps with a little more clarity — and a lot more self-respect. Get in touch on IG: adele_thecoachIf you are curious, the replay's episode for Wednesday is episode 9: how to recognise your person
About Love Inside Out with Adele Testa
What if the way we've been thinking about love is keeping us from actually having it?Whether you're happily partnered, struggling to connect, or somewhere in the messy middle—pull up a chair. Let's figure this out together.Love Inside Out is for anyone who's ever felt like they're performing in their relationship instead of living in it. For people who wonder if compromise has turned into playing small. For those asking: Why was this easier in my twenties?I'm Adele—coach, and curious human. Thank you for joining me in this journey!
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