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by Nate Bagley
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Scrupulosity, or religious perfectionism/OCD, can be debilitating for both individuals and couples. The belief that unless you do everything right, keep all the rules, are perfectly obedient, and live according to God's will... something terrible will happen. This episode with perfectionism expert, Dr. Menije explores how our anxiety leaks out into our spiritual life. She provides some great examples of what scrupulosity can look like, and what we can do about it.
In order to master your anxiety, you must become differentiated. Differentiation is the ability to separate your thoughts from your feelings, and to separate your own thoughts and feelings from the thoughts and feelings of others. This is a practice you will be working on for the rest of your life. Today's episode will introduce you to the first part of differentiation, and give you some first steps to start calming yourself down.
Friendship is the foundation of your marriage. If you can't be a good friend to people outside your marriage, it's unlikely you'll be a good friend to your partner. Also, friendships outside your marriage are CRUCIAL for the survival of your relationship. Your community is your bedrock. In today's episode, I talk to the author of the new book, "Friendship in the Age of Loneliness," Adam Smiley Powsolwky. We talk about why friendship is important, and give a bunch of ideas of how to cultivate more meaningful friendships.
Anxiety is basically negative emotions that your brain manufactures to help keep you safe from potential threats... kind of like a smoke alarm. But just like a smoke alarm, there's no special mechanism to help it detect the severity of the threat. Bacon burning on the stove gets the same treatment as a house fire. This is a problem because at some point in your marriage, your partner is going to hurt you, disappoint you, or let you down. That means your brain will detect them as a threat, which will drive a wedge between you. In order to keep the connection alive, we need to learn to effectively manage our internal anxiety alarm. In today's episode, the first episode of the Anxiety Series, I'm going to talk a bit more about what anxiety is, and what we're supposed to do about it.
Some people have relationships that just look so easy, so smooth, and so natural. How do they do it? Are they just lucky? Or are they doing something that everyone else is missing? In this episode, I sit down with John and Ana Mann, authors of the book "The Go-Giver Marriage." This interview (and their book) uncomplicates love and marriage in a really beautiful way. I hope you give it a listen, and check out their new book at: HTTP://gogivermarriage.com
Affairs are more common than you'd think. Roughly 50% of marriages are faced with some sort of infidelity at some point during their relationship. So... what do you do if you're caught up in an affair? What do you say if you've fallen hard for someone that's not your partner? How do you respond if your spouse just told you they've been cheating? How can you recover? That's what we're going to talk about in this episode with Kimberly Holmes from Marriage Helper.
Were you ever told that "Becoming One" was the ultimate goal in marriage? Or if you put your partner's needs before your own (and if they do the same) your relationship would flourish? Every day I see people who buy into these nice-sounding mindsets, only to watch their marriage slowly crumble. If you are: A fixer... Or you avoid negative emotions because you think they're bad... Or you find yourself turning to things like porn, video games, social media, or workaholism... Or you really struggle to ask for what you want... Or you're subtly dishonest and manipulative... You should check out the Epic Husbands Experiment right now. There are only a few spots left, and doors close in a few days.
Dr. Robert Glover says,"Nice Guy Syndrome represents a belief that if Nice Guys are 'good,' they will be loved, get their needs met, and live a problem-free life. When this life strategy fails to produce the desired results — as it often does — Nice Guys usually just try harder, doing more of the same. Due to the sense of helplessness and resentment this pattern inevitably produces, Nice Guys are often anything but nice." Today, I sit down with 2 other recovering Nice Guys and talk about the toll Nice Guy Syndrome had on our relationships and some of the things we've done to try to get better. If you need help overcoming Nice Guy Syndrome, check out the Epic Husbands Experiment. Spots are limited, so apply soon!
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Here at the Growth Marriage podcast, we believe every couple can have amazing communication, deep connection, and passionate, knock-your-socks-off love.Back in 2012 I quit my fancy corporate job, sold everything I owned, and started traveling the United States with the goal of uncovering the secrets to truly epic love. I've been trained by the world's top experts, researchers, and authors - and I've interviewed the most incredible couples on the planet. And now my only focus is sharing the secrets of what makes amazing love possible with you. Each week I'll give you the tools you need take your marriage to the next level… but only if you're willing take action. You'll see that legendary love happens by choice, not by chance.
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