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Getting Close

Bi Sex Columnist: How Rejection Leads to Sexual Shame

April 28, 2026·54 min
Episode Description from the Publisher

If you’re tired of missing out on opportunities for fear of rejection, this episode is for you.Today, you and I are sitting down with Zachary Zane to discuss how rejection rules our lives and ends up turning into shame. We get into so much juicy stuff like how rejection lives in the body, the nuances of bisexuality, how to overcome shame and embrace your kinky side, the lessons Zach has learned from the vast amounts of sex he’s had. Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based sex columnist and author whose work centers on sexuality, culture, and the LGBTQ community. He is the author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto and co-author of Men’s Health: Best. Sex. Ever. He is also editor-in-chief of the BOYSLUT zine, and his writing has been featured in Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan, New York Times, Rolling Stone, Washington Post, GQ, Playboy, and more.We unpack:* How to take rejection like a pro and keep moving* How to navigate sexual shame to become a bit more liberated* Why being specific about your kinks on the apps actually gets you rejected less* How to navigate bottom stigma in the gay community* Why you should practice your rejections in the mirrorLinks* Boy Slut by Zachary Zane* Zachary Zane on Instagram * Boy Slut on Substack * Splash Blanket Waterproof Blanket * Aidan on Instagram* Getting Close on InstagramChapters(00:00) Understanding Rejection and Shame(04:09) Navigating Personal Experiences of Rejection(10:03) The Impact of Rejection on Relationships(13:45) The Role of Kindness in Rejection(20:11) Exploring Bisexuality and Rejection(26:02) Attraction vs. Behavior in Sexual Identity(27:25) The Journey of Oversharing(31:01) Navigating Shame and Vulnerability(35:30) Building Community and Connection(39:12) Challenging Stigmas in the Gay Community(44:25) Exploring Bisexual Representation(47:26) Curiosity and Connection in Literature This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

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