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Dad Starting Over: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Dad Starting Over
Welcome to the Dad Starting Over podcast! "Starting Over" means different things to different people. It could be that you're newly divorced and starting over fresh with a new life. It could be that you're still married and wanting to hit the reset button and finally do things right within your marriage. Whatever your story may be, you're in the right place. I'm Ralph, a.k.a DSO, the author of books called "The Dead Bedroom Fix", "Divorce Panic", "Real Talk" and "Red Flags".
Latest Episodes
The most recent episodes — sign up to get AI-powered summaries of each one.
- 3 days ago17 min
Sexless Marriage… Why Her "Duty Sex" Is Destroying Your Self-Esteem
She still sleeps with you… so why do you feel more alone than ever? In this video we go after one of the most damaging traps in a sexless marriage: duty sex, or "pity sex." The flat, going-through-the-motions intimacy a lot of men accept because they tell themselves "at least it's something." Here's the hard truth: that "something" may be doing more damage to your self-esteem than getting nothing at all, and I'll show you exactly why, and what to do about it.This isn't about blaming you. You're not broken. You're a man at a crossroads. Let's get you back.🔴 FREE: Fix Your Dead Bedroom (Instant PDF Download)https://go.helpformen.com/tl/545🔴 FREE COURSE: The Dead Bedroom Fix Coursehttps://deadbedroomfixcourse.com🔴 NEW!: The Dead Bedroom Fix Apphttps://studio.com/ralph/deadbedroomfix?c=gNiRtwcj🔴 TAKE THE QUIZ: What's your REBUILD score?https://helpformen.com/insights/rebuild-score🟢 JOIN THE BROTHERHOOD (Private Community for Men)https://helpformen.com/join
- 1 weeks ago11 min
Sexless Marriage… She Says the Experts Agree With Her, Not You
She told you the experts agree. That the healthiest couples stop having sex. That wanting your own wife makes you the problem. In this video I break down the wellness talking point being used to shut men down in dead bedrooms all over the country, why there's just enough truth in it to make you doubt yourself, and what's actually going on underneath it.Here's the short version: a sexless marriage can be healthy. If both people are okay with it. You're not okay with it. So the whole argument falls apart the second she leaves out that one word. Stop arguing the studies. Start changing the only thing you control.🔴 FREE: Fix Your Dead Bedroom (Instant PDF Download)https://go.helpformen.com/tl/545🔴 FREE COURSE: The Dead Bedroom Fix Coursehttps://deadbedroomfixcourse.com🔴 NEW!: The Dead Bedroom Fix Apphttps://studio.com/ralph/deadbedroomfix?c=gNiRtwcj🔴 TAKE THE QUIZ: What's your REBUILD score?https://helpformen.com/insights/rebuild-score🟢 JOIN THE BROTHERHOOD (Private Community for Men)https://helpformen.com/join
- 2 weeks ago17 min
Sexless Marriage... "She's Just Stressed" Is Often the Biggest Lie
"She's just stressed." The kids, the job, her mom, the move. You've been telling yourself that for seven years.Real stress comes and goes. The deadline passes, the mother-in-law goes home, and the couple that's actually okay finds their way back to each other. If yours survived three jobs, two houses, and one good year, it's not stress anymore. It's the climate.In this video I break down why "she's just stressed" is the most useful lie in a dead bedroom: what the stress story does for you (keeps her blameless, keeps you busy, keeps the real question off the table), the one test that tells you if stress was ever the real problem, what the lie is actually protecting, and why the more you do around the house, the less she wants you.🔴 FREE: Fix Your Dead Bedroom (Instant PDF Download)https://go.helpformen.com/tl/545🔴 FREE COURSE: The Dead Bedroom Fix Coursehttps://deadbedroomfixcourse.com🔴 NEW!: The Dead Bedroom Fix Apphttps://studio.com/ralph/deadbedroomfix?c=gNiRtwcj🔴 TAKE THE QUIZ: What's your REBUILD score?https://helpformen.com/insights/rebuild-score🟢 JOIN THE BROTHERHOOD (Private Community for Men)https://helpformen.com/join
- 3 weeks ago57 min
How ADHD Can Impact Your Relationships - Live Chat with Cassie
Cassie is back. She's an occupational therapist who works with neurodiverse kids, she lectures at the college level, she'll have her PhD next May, and she has severe lifelong ADHD herself. She doesn't dance around any of it.By my estimate the majority of the men in my community are neurodivergent in one flavor or another. This conversation is about what that actually does to a marriage.We get into:The man who had a business, a full social life, and six things going at once, gave all of it up to get married, and lost himself inside a yearWhy handing your wife the job of being your only source of stimulation breaks both of youRejection sensitivity: why a look on someone's face can take you down three floors before your brain catches upTime blindness, and why "I've just been busy" doesn't land the way you think it doesHyperfocus, energy, and deep connection as actual strengthsThe difference between ADHD hyperfocus and an autistic special interestThree conflict tools you can use tonight: regulate before you speak, name a return time, apologize onceThe breakfast change Cassie calls the single biggest thing she didIf you're the guy whose garage is full of hobbies you used to love, this one is for you.🔴 FREE: Fix Your Dead Bedroom (Instant PDF Download)https://go.helpformen.com/tl/545🔴 FREE COURSE: The Dead Bedroom Fix Coursehttps://deadbedroomfixcourse.com🔴 NEW!: The Dead Bedroom Fix Apphttps://studio.com/ralph/deadbedroomfix?c=gNiRtwcj🔴 TAKE THE QUIZ: What's your REBUILD score?https://helpformen.com/insights/rebuild-score🟢 JOIN THE BROTHERHOOD (Private Community for Men)https://helpformen.com/join
- 3 weeks ago15 min
Sexless Marriage… She Said She'd Rather Get a Divorce Than Have Sex With Me Again
She didn't say she was tired. She didn't say "not tonight." She said she'd rather end the whole marriage than be physical with you again. And now you can't stop hearing it.In this one I read an email from a man who got hit with that exact line, and I break down what it actually reveals. Not about you. About where things really stand. Because most men take a sentence like that and turn it into a verdict on their worth. That's the trap. And it's the wrong read.🔴 FREE: Fix Your Dead Bedroom (Instant PDF Download)https://go.helpformen.com/tl/545🔴 FREE COURSE: The Dead Bedroom Fix Coursehttps://deadbedroomfixcourse.com🔴 NEW!: The Dead Bedroom Fix Apphttps://studio.com/ralph/deadbedroomfix?c=gNiRtwcj🔴 TAKE THE QUIZ: What's your REBUILD score?https://helpformen.com/insights/rebuild-score🟢 JOIN THE BROTHERHOOD (Private Community for Men)https://helpformen.com/join
- 4 weeks ago48 min
"I Didn't Have A Self" | An Avoidant Wife Explains What Broke
Kate is the admittedly avoidant partner to Tyler Ely, the anxious partner I had on a previous live stream. Tyler read The Dead Bedroom Fix, backed off, and started working on his own security. It helped. We heard his side. This one is hers.Three years ago they sat in therapy and talked about ending it. Today she cancels plans so she can be around him.What she gets into:Why she stopped believing him even while he was doing everything rightThe two books they handed each other, and how both got taken as an insultWhy the divorce conversation came four months AFTER they started working on the marriageThe lie she told herself for fifteen years about why she couldn't have a life of her ownThe moment a therapist called her out in a room full of peopleWhy "divorce stays on the table" is the rule that made them stop staying out of obligationIf you're the anxious one in your house and you're in month three of doing the work with nothing to show for it, this is the conversation to sit through.🔴 FREE: Fix Your Dead Bedroom (Instant PDF Download)https://go.helpformen.com/tl/545🔴 FREE COURSE: The Dead Bedroom Fix Coursehttps://deadbedroomfixcourse.com🔴 NEW!: The Dead Bedroom Fix Apphttps://studio.com/ralph/deadbedroomfix?c=gNiRtwcj🔴 TAKE THE QUIZ: What's your REBUILD score?https://helpformen.com/insights/rebuild-score🟢 JOIN THE BROTHERHOOD (Private Community for Men)https://helpformen.com/join
- Aug 21, 202615 min
Sexless Marriage… She Says She Doesn't Feel "Safe" With You
She told you she needs to feel "safe" before she can want you again. So you did the logical thing. You got softer. Gentler. More patient. More accommodating. You walked on eggshells and gave her all the space and comfort she asked for.And she wants you even less than before.In this one I break down the therapy-language excuse that has trapped a whole generation of good men, and why "being safe" is almost always the thing making it worse, not better. We get into the difference between real safety and hijacked therapy-speak, why comfort does not equal desire, and the avoidant pattern hiding underneath the words. Then I give you the way out.🔴 FREE: Fix Your Dead Bedroom (Instant PDF Download)https://go.helpformen.com/tl/545🔴 FREE COURSE: The Dead Bedroom Fix Coursehttps://deadbedroomfixcourse.com🔴 NEW!: The Dead Bedroom Fix Apphttps://studio.com/ralph/deadbedroomfix?c=gNiRtwcj🔴 TAKE THE QUIZ: What's your REBUILD score?https://helpformen.com/insights/rebuild-score🟢 JOIN THE BROTHERHOOD (Private Community for Men)https://helpformen.com/join
- Aug 14, 202613 min
Sexless Marriage... How Long Will You Wait For Her To Change?
He told himself the same thing for eleven years. Just hold on until the kids are grown, then we'll reconnect. The empty nest came. Nothing changed. In this one I read a real email from a 58-year-old man sitting in a silent house, asking if it's too late and whether he wasted his window. Then I walk through the final talk. When to have it, how to have it from a place of strength, and why "waiting it out" is the trap that costs men their best years.This isn't about blowing up your marriage. It's about refusing to spend the next 25 years as a ghost in your own home.🔴 FREE: Fix Your Dead Bedroom (Instant PDF Download)https://go.helpformen.com/tl/545🔴 FREE COURSE: The Dead Bedroom Fix Coursehttps://deadbedroomfixcourse.com🔴 NEW!: The Dead Bedroom Fix Apphttps://studio.com/ralph/deadbedroomfix?c=gNiRtwcj🔴 TAKE THE QUIZ: What's your REBUILD score?https://helpformen.com/insights/rebuild-score🟢 JOIN THE BROTHERHOOD (Private Community for Men)https://helpformen.com/join
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About Dad Starting Over
Welcome to the Dad Starting Over podcast! "Starting Over" means different things to different people. It could be that you're newly divorced and starting over fresh with a new life. It could be that you're still married and wanting to hit the reset button and finally do things right within your marriage. Whatever your story may be, you're in the right place. I'm Ralph, a.k.a DSO, the author of books called "The Dead Bedroom Fix", "Divorce Panic", "Real Talk" and "Red Flags".
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