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Combative Calm: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Sarai Speer
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- 3 weeks ago17 min
Coming Home: A Guided Meditation for the Body You Have Been at War With
This episode contains a gentle discussion of body image and eating disorders. If you are currently struggling, please reach out to the National Alliance for Eating Disorders at 1-866-662-1235.This guided meditation does not ask you to love your body. It does not ask you to feel any particular way about what you find when you get in there. It just asks you to show up. To place your hands on the places you have struggled with the most and say something true to them. Not performed. Not forced. Just honest.Sarai built this meditation around one simple reframe. What if you treated your body the way you treat someone you love deeply? Not when things are easier. Not when it looks different. Right now. As it is. Exactly as it is.You will place your hands on your belly, your heart, your thighs, and your arms. You will breathe. And if words come, you will let them. And if they do not, just being there is the whole practice.Come back to this one often. Your body has been waiting for you to come home to it.
- 3 weeks ago23 min
Getting Back Into a Body You Have Been at War With
This episode contains discussion of body image, body dysmorphia, eating disorders, sexual assault, and addiction. Please take care of yourself as you listen. If you are currently struggling with an eating disorder, please reach out to the National Alliance for Eating Disorders at 1-866-662-1235. Sarai gets completely honest in this one. About being sexually assaulted and what that did to her relationship with her body. About using an eating disorder and addiction to numb out and disconnect. About going to treatment and lying in restorative yoga and feeling the weight of her back on a bolster for the first time and thinking what the actual fuck. This is what it feels like to be in my body.She also gets into what happened last year. Getting sick for a month with no answers. Losing her father in November. And fighting every day to not go back down the spiral she knows so well.This episode also goes deep on the science. What the default mode network actually is and what brain imaging research shows about how it functions differently in people with eating disorders. What interoceptive awareness is and why it gets disrupted. And why understanding the neuroscience of this is not about fixing it. It is about stopping the self-blame long enough to get the right help.The somatic tools in this episode are not a treatment for an eating disorder. They are what Sarai reaches for when the pulling starts. Small moments of contact with a body you have been running from. Nothing more and nothing less than that.
- 3 weeks ago19 min
Your Body Is Not the Fcking Problem
This episode contains discussion of body image, body dysmorphia, and eating disorders. If you are currently struggling, please reach out to the National Alliance for Eating Disorders at 1-866-662-1235. https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/Sarai has had an eating disorder for three and a half decades. She has been to treatment. She is still doing the work. And she is done pretending that what the culture is currently doing to women's bodies is anything other than what it actually is.This episode is about where we are right now. The thin ideal making its comeback. The way social media and GLP ones have collided into something that is being sold as wellness and is anything but. And what is actually happening in your brain when you absorb that messaging every single day without the tools to push back against it.We also get into why your therapist's suggestion to write positive body affirmations made you want to cry. And what to do instead when love feels too far away to reach, but you still need somewhere to start.You will walk away understanding the neuroscience behind why your inner critic runs the loops it runs, why positive affirmations do not work when your relationship with your body is that broken, and what body-neutral affirmations actually are and how to use them.This is not a body positivity episode. This is an honest one.
- Apr 13, 202622 min
Nobody Tells You Perimenopause Can Make You Want to Drive Off a Bridge
This is the most vulnerable episode Sarai has ever recorded. And she almost did not hit record.In this episode, she gets completely honest about what perimenopause did to her mental health before she even knew what was happening. The intrusive thoughts that showed up quietly and stayed for six months. The trip to Barcelona, where she finally screamed her truth in a hotel room and got shut down for it. The panic attacks she had this week, not a year ago, this week, as a nervous system coach who teaches this stuff for a living.She also gets into the science. What actually happens to estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, and your GABA system during perimenopause, why almost a third of women develop panic attacks they have never had before, why women are two to five times more likely to develop a mood disorder during this transition, and why most of them are being handed antidepressants without anyone checking their hormones first.This episode is for the woman who thinks she is losing her mind. The one who cannot explain what is happening in her body. The one who has been suffering quietly because she does not have the language for it yet.Here it is.If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please call or text 988.If you're ready to do the work with a community of women & a blueprint to get you the fuck out of dysregulation, check out Capacity Club https://saraispeer.com/capacity-club
- Apr 6, 202616 min
Two Seconds Before You Say Yes Is Where Your Whole Life Changes
You have been abandoning yourself in two-second increments your whole life, and this episode is where that stops.The tools, the body check, the energetic tab audit, the weird somatic resets you can do in a bathroom stall before a hard conversation, and the actual words to use when you are right at your capacity line and your brain goes completely blank.We also talk about what it actually feels like the first few times you hold your line with someone who is used to you crossing it. Because nobody warns you about that part, and it catches everyone off guard.This is where the work gets real.Capacity Club doors close April 15th. First live call April 15th. https://saraispeer.com/capacity-club
- Apr 6, 202613 min
Why Bitch Is the Word They Use to Keep You in Line
Why Bitch Is the Word They Use to Keep You in LineThe word bitch gets thrown around the second a woman stands her fucking ground. And that is not an accident.This episode is about why that word has so much power over so many of us, where it actually came from, and how it has been quietly running your decisions, your relationships, and your capacity line for most of your life without you even clocking it.We get into the fawn response, the good girl programming that got handed to you before you were old enough to question it, and why that guilty shaky feeling you get when you try to hold your line is straight up conditioning that got baked in before you had any say in the matter.We also talk about the invisible load. The energetic tabs your nervous system is carrying that have nothing to do with your calendar and everything to do with why rest does not restore you and why you can be sitting in a quiet house doing absolutely nothing and still feel like you are one thing away from completely losing it.By the end of this one, you are going to understand exactly why holding your capacity line has felt so impossible. And you are going to stop blaming yourself for it.Capacity Club doors close April 15th. First live call April 15th. https://saraispeer.com/capacity-club
- Apr 6, 202611 min
Why the Word Boundaries Is Making It Harder to Actually Have Them
Why the Word Boundaries Is Making It Harder to Actually Have ThemThe word boundaries is so loaded that just hearing it makes most women either shut down or feel guilty before they have even done anything. So Sarai threw it out and replaced it with something that actually makes sense in your body.This episode is about your capacity line. What it is, where it lives, why it is nothing like the cold rigid wall you picture when someone tells you to set a boundary, and why the reframe changes everything about how you actually hold one.Sarai also gets personal about her own version of this. The forty-foot razor wire tower kept everyone out and left her completely alone, and she was actually searching for what she was actually searching for underneath all of it.You will walk away with a completely different relationship to this whole concept, and one thing you can start doing today, even if you are nowhere near ready for the hard conversations yet.Capacity Club doors close April 15th. First live call April 15th. https://saraispeer.com/capacity-club
- Mar 30, 202616 min
The Daily Weird Shit That Actually Builds Capacity
This is the one you have been waiting for. The actual tools. The specific daily practices that rebuilt Sarai's nervous system after burnout and that she uses every single day to keep her capacity high enough to hold the life she is building.No overhaul, or perfect morning routine. No equipment. Just small regulation tools stacked onto things you are already doing every single day, before your feet hit the floor, while your coffee brews, in the shower, in the car, and before bed.We also get into the phone conversation nobody wants to have, why chronic connectivity is draining your capacity faster than almost anything else, and what six weeks without a phone in treatment taught Sarai about what her nervous system actually needs to recover.You will walk away with a full habit stacked daily regulation practice, the questions that catch capacity depletion before it becomes a breakdown, and a completely different relationship with your ordinary Tuesday.This is how capacity gets built. Not in the crisis. In the calm.Capacity Club opens April 6th. First live call April 15th.
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About Combative Calm
This isn’t your sugary, sweet, diabetes-inducing healing podcast.This is Combative Calm—where nervous system regulation meets rage rituals, somatic releases, and spicy affirmations laced with f-bombs to unfck your trauma responses.Hosted by Sarai Speer—a trauma-informed yoga + meditation teacher, somatic healer, and high-energy bitch who tells it like it is—this show delivers real tools, not toxic positivity.It’s trauma-informed, nervous system-rooted healing for the emotionally constipated, burnout-curious, high-functioning humans who are done pretending they’re fine.It’s time to regulate your shit.
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