Telling Your Partner

How do you tell a partner you're bi — whether you're two weeks into dating or twenty years into a marriage? Sam and Grayson split it into two conversations: "I'm bi," and, if applicable, "I want to act on it." Both revisit their own disclosures — Sam reads the email he sent his future wife two weeks into dating, and Grayson recaps telling his wife after years of getting close. The practical core: whether there's a benefit to telling at all, and how a partner might take it — their views on LGBT people, a religious or conservative background, the "close to home" shift, biphobia rooted in HIV/AIDS-era fear, and the "why now / were you deceptive?" question. Then preparing, timing, and framing. Word of the Week is DADT; the mini-topic is bringing up fantasies. Disclaimer: The hosts aren't medical or mental-health professionals. Nothing here is advice — speak with a qualified provider about your own health and relationships. Terms * DADT (don't ask, don't tell) — an agreement not to disclose details of other relationships; often one partner has "permission" to explore while the other stays monogamous * The two conversations — "I'm bi" (identity) and "I want to act on it" (acting on it); distinct, and the second doesn't automatically follow the first * Kinsey scale — a 0–6 orientation scale; in his email Sam calls himself a 2 (predominantly heterosexual, more than incidentally homosexual) * Dead bedroom — a relationship in which sexual activity has largely stopped * Fluidity — orientation and tastes can shift over time Links & resources * Is My Husband Gay, Straight, or Bi? [https://www.amazon.com/dp/B098KMVND2] by Joe Kort and Alexander P. Morgan — on Amazon and Audible * DADT explainers: Paige Bond [https://www.paigebond.com/blog/dont-ask-dont-tell-polyamory] and Non-Monogamy Help [https://www.nonmonogamyhelp.com/what-is-dont-ask-dont-tell-or-dadt-in-polyamory/] * Fantasy/kink quizzes to take together: BDSMTest.org [https://bdsmtest.org/] and Carnal Calibration [https://carnalcalibration.com/] Next episode: Finding a Guy — apps and how to actually approach exploring bi desires in real life. Connect with us: Email podcast@bimenunfiltered.com with questions, topics, or your own story (write "OK for air" to have it read on the show; same address to be a guest). Find us at @BiMenUnfiltered on Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61591794119108], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/bimenunfiltered/], Threads [https://www.threads.com/@bimenunfiltered], and X [https://x.com/BiMenUnfiltered], and at BiMenUnfiltered.com on Bluesky [https://bsky.app/profile/bimenunfiltered.com].