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Awesome Marriage Podcast: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Dr. Kim Kimberling
Far too many couples are just surviving their marriage when it was meant to thrive. This is the place for practical tips on how to build an awesome marriage. Our passion is to help you strengthen your marriage.Dr. Kim Kimberling hosts the show. Dr. Kim is the President of Awesome Marriage, has been married for over 50 years, and has been a professional counselor for 40+ years. He is the author of 7 Secrets to An Awesome Marriage ,14 Keys To Lasting Love, and most recently Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half.Dr. Kim will be joined once a month by his wife of 55 years, Nancy Kimberling. He will also host other great guests that will teach and encourage you as you intentionally pursue an awesome marriage. Tune in each week to hear practical advice from Dr. Kim.This podcast is brought to you by the ministry of Awesome Marriage.
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- 6 days ago12 min
What Do I Do if I Don't Feel "in love" With My Spouse Anymore? |Ep. 749
What do you do when the butterflies are gone and you no longer feel "in love" with your spouse? If you've ever wondered whether fading feelings mean something is wrong with your marriage, you're not alone. In this honest and hope-filled solo episode, Dr. Kim unpacks why romantic feelings naturally change over time, the difference between love as a feeling and love as a choice, and how couples can begin finding their way back to one another. You'll discover why emotional disconnection often happens gradually, how small intentional steps can reignite closeness, and why God isn't finished writing your marriage story. If your relationship feels distant, this episode offers practical encouragement and biblical hope for rebuilding connection—one choice at a time. Episode Takeaways: Why fading feelings don't have to mean your marriage is failing. The difference between love as a feeling and love as a daily choice. Practical steps to rebuild emotional connection and find your way back to each other. Quotes from This Episode: Dr. Kim Kimberling "Feelings are real. They matter. But they are information—not truth." "Don't let a fading feeling become a verdict on your marriage before you've figured out what it's trying to tell you." "The problem isn't that feelings change. The problem is believing that anything quieter than early romance means something is wrong." "Early love is about discovery and excitement. Mature love is about depth, history, and a knowing that only time can build." "If you're waiting to feel in love before you act in love, you may wait a very long time. But when you choose to act in love, the feelings often follow." "God didn't design love to be a noun you possess. He designed it to be a verb you practice." "Emotional disconnection usually doesn't happen because of one big event. It happens through neglect, not cruelty." "Love is rebuilt the same way it was built in the first place—through small moments of safety, honesty, laughter, and presence." "You don't have to fix everything this week. You just have to take the next right step." "Feelings aren't the final word on your marriage. The truth is that God is not finished with your marriage." Time to Think About it: If I'm honest, what's really underneath my "I don't feel in love anymore" feelings—is it loneliness, fear, exhaustion, or something else? What's one intentional act of love I can choose this week, even if the feelings haven't fully returned yet? Have I been waiting for my feelings to change before investing in my marriage, or am I willing to take the first step toward connection today? Mentioned in this Episode: Sign up for our daily One Thing email! Need a low pressure, on ramp back toward one another: 4 Week Connection Challenge. If your marriage is struggling, try our 90 Days to Save Your Marriage email series. Maybe you need to shift how you're viewing your marriage and your spouse. Our <a href= "https://awesomemarriage.com/4-week-reframing-chal
- 1 weeks ago1h 3m
How People Skills Strengthen Your Marriage Connection with Debra Fileta Ep. 748
Healthy relationships don't happen by accident—they're built one skill at a time. In this episode, Dr. Kim sits down with returning guest and licensed counselor Debra Fileta to talk about why so many marriages struggle, not because couples don't love each other, but because they haven't learned the skills to communicate that love well. Together they unpack practical ways to become better listeners, healthier communicators, and more intentional spouses. Whether you've been married for six months or sixty years, you'll walk away with simple, biblical tools to strengthen your connection, improve communication, and reflect the love of Christ in your marriage. Main Takeaways: Love isn't always the problem—sometimes it's a lack of relationship skills. The healthiest communication starts with self-awareness. Listening is one of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse. You don't have to wait for your spouse to change first. Quotes from this Episode: Dr. Kim: "I think a lot of marriages aren't struggling because of a lack of love—they're struggling because couples haven't learned the skills to communicate that love well." "Jesus is our model for relationships. Nobody served like He did, and nobody loved people more intentionally." "When we really learn to listen to each other, it probably makes a bigger difference than almost anything else in marriage." "Don't settle for a marriage that's just surviving when God created your marriage to thrive." "The payoff of listening well is that your spouse doesn't just know you love them—they actually experience your love." "You don't have to wait for your spouse to change before you begin obeying what God is asking of you." "Good communication isn't something you master once. It's something you keep growing in through every season of marriage." "Sometimes we think we're communicating because we're talking, but communication doesn't happen until our spouse feels heard." "If you invest intentionally in your marriage today, you'll be grateful for it in every season that comes tomorrow." ___________________________________________________________________ Debra Fileta: "It's often not a lack of love—it's a lack of skill." "Relationships are only as strong as the skills we bring into them." "God wants us to become more like Him, not more like us." "Nothing changes if nothing changes." "People skills aren't about getting people to like you more—they're about helping you communicate God's love more effectively." "Just because you start a sentence with 'I feel' doesn't mean you're actually sharing a feeling." "Healing means looking back at the things that served you in one season and asking whether they're sabotaging you in this season." "If a relationship is like a recipe, I can't change your ingredients—but I can change mine." "Most people hear about a book on people skills and immediately think of someone else who needs it. Real growth begins when you start with yourself." "Listening isn't waiting for your turn to speak. It's receiving what's being said." "The health of my marriage starts with my personal health. When I become healthier, I have more to offer my re
- 2 weeks ago20 min
Talking About Sex Without Shame or Defensiveness Ep. 747
Talking about sex can feel awkward—even with the person you love most. But avoiding the conversation doesn't make the issues disappear. It often creates more distance. In this episode, Dr. Kim and Nancy have an honest, grace-filled conversation about building a healthy sexual relationship through open communication, emotional safety, and mutual respect. They share lessons from their own marriage, discuss why every couple experiences different seasons of intimacy, and offer practical ways to have conversations about sex without shame, fear, or defensiveness. Whether you've been married for six months or sixty years, this episode will encourage you to communicate with honesty, pursue one another with love, and create an environment where intimacy can continue to grow. Main Takeaways: Every marriage experiences different seasons of intimacy—and that's normal. The healthiest conversations about sex happen when both spouses feel safe, heard, and respected. Comparison is one of the quickest ways to create dissatisfaction in your marriage. Small, honest conversations build stronger intimacy than avoiding difficult topics. A thriving sex life isn't about perfection—it's about pursuing one another with love, grace, and intentionality. Quotes from this Episode: Dr. Kim Kimberling "Our marriage is not just about sex. It's about all of life, and our intimacy has to fit the season we're in." "When you approach conversations about sex with love instead of criticism, you're setting your marriage up to grow instead of to fail." "Don't compare your marriage to Hollywood or someone else's story. You have to define what works best for the two of you." "Stay at the comfort level of the person who's least comfortable. There's always another way to build intimacy together." "It's not really about the quantity of sex—it's about the quality of the connection." "The goal isn't proving who's right. The goal is making your marriage better together." Nancy Kimberling "We've always approached these conversations with love, not a critical spirit." "Nothing is more personal than your own body, so sharing it with someone else is the ultimate vulnerability." "Warmth is the best culture to keep between you when you're talking about intimacy." "Emotional safety is foundational. It's hard to be sexually vulnerable if you don't feel emotionally safe." Time to Talk About it: What helps you feel the safest, most loved, and most connected to me—both emotionally and physically? Are there any conversations about our intimacy that we've been avoiding? If so, what's one small step we could take to talk about them with honesty and grace? What's one thing I do that makes you feel pursued, appreciated, or desired, and what's one thing I could do more often? What would it take to take our sex life up one point? How can we make that happen? Mentioned in this Episode: Sign up for our daily One Thing email! Our Love Making Survey is a great way to keep conversational loving rather than critical. Sex is intended to be a gift for your marriage, if you're having a hard time talking about it with your spouse, try this resource: 62 Questions About Sex. Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You'll love our 14 Keys to Lasting Love. Check it out with your spouse! If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check
- 3 weeks ago25 min
Wider Lens: Redefining Success with Tom Pfeifer Part 3 Ep. 746
What does success really look like—and who gets to define it? In the final episode of this three-part conversation, Dr. Kim sits down with Tom Pfeiffer to talk about the subtle ways we drift from our priorities without even realizing it. Together they unpack why saying "yes" to every good opportunity can cost us what matters most, how small daily habits shape the life we're building, and why true success isn't measured by titles or achievements but by living a life that's aligned with your values. Whether you're feeling stuck, stretched too thin, or simply wondering if you're chasing the right things, this conversation will challenge you to slow down, evaluate what's most important, and take one intentional step toward the life God is calling you to live. Episode Highlights: Learn how "priority drift" quietly pulls you away from what matters most—and how to stop it. Why chasing alignment instead of success leads to greater freedom, purpose, and peace. Simple daily habits that create lasting change, both personally and professionally. Practical encouragement to stop waiting for the perfect moment and start taking the next right step. Quotes from This Episode: Tom Pfeifer: "Priority drift doesn't happen all at once. It's one extra meeting, one extra commitment, one extra 'yes.'" "Every time you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else." "Success is what other people can see. Alignment is when the life you're living matches the values you say you have." "The best decision I ever made was to stop chasing success and start chasing alignment." "Sports are supposed to be fun. You're not going to war." "So many of the things we worry about are first-world problems." "Don't quit your job tomorrow. Start stacking proof one day at a time." "Your habits become discipline, and discipline will always outlast motivation." "Everyone has the same 24 hours. It's not about having time—it's about the choices you make." "Just do the thing. Take the first step and let tomorrow build on today." Dr. Kim Kimberling: "Culture doesn't pull us away from what matters overnight—it happens one small drift at a time." "When we say yes to too many good things, we often end up saying no to the people who matter most." "The hardest part of protecting your priorities is learning to say no." "You don't always realize you're drifting until you look up and wonder how you got so far from what matters." "Don't get impatient. Big life changes are built one step at a time." "Working out changes far more than your body—it changes your confidence and your mindset." "One day stacked on another becomes a habit, and habits shape the life you live." "Ask yourself: Are you drifting? And if you are, where is that drift taking you?" "The best opportunities aren't always the ones that align with your priorities." "You have to define success for yourself instead of letting culture define it for you." <
- 3 weeks ago40 min
The Communication Mistake Most Couples Don't Realize They're Making with Jason Van Ruler Ep. 745
Have you ever walked away from a conversation with your spouse thinking, "That's not what I meant at all"? Or wondered why you keep having the same argument over and over again? The truth is, most couples aren't struggling because they don't love each other, they're struggling because they communicate differently. In this episode, Dr. Kim is joined by licensed therapist and author Jason Van Ruler to unpack the five communication types and why understanding your spouse's communication style can completely change the way you approach conflict. They talk about why we so often take our differences personally, how stress affects the way we communicate, and why learning to truly listen may be the most powerful thing you can do for your marriage. If you've ever felt misunderstood or wished your spouse "just got you," this conversation will help you replace frustration with understanding and give you practical tools to communicate in a way that brings you closer instead of pushing you apart. Episode Highlights: Why communication breaks down—and why it's probably not for the reason you think. Discover your communication type and learn how it shapes every conversation with your spouse. Simple shifts that will help you feel more seen, heard, and understood in your marriage. Stop taking communication differences personally and start using them to grow closer. Quotes from This Episode: Jason VanRuler "We aren't very well versed in communicating for connection." "The more we feel we can't communicate, the more we believe the lie that our spouse must like it that way." "We're experts in what we meant, but we're not experts in what our spouse experienced." "Understanding your communication type takes the personal offense out of conflict and helps you ask, 'What did they mean?'" "A great communicator isn't someone who thinks they're communicating well—it's someone who understands how other people experience them." "When life gets hard, we all go back to our primary communication style. That's why understanding each other matters most in conflict." "From birth, we all want to feel seen, heard, and understood." Dr. Kim Kimberling "Most couples don't know why they struggle to communicate—they just know it creates distance." "We're fighting our differences instead of embracing them and learning how they can strengthen our marriage." "Bad communication gets in the way of being a great team." "When I really learned to listen to Nancy, it changed our marriage." "Sometimes the simplest advice is the most powerful: let your spouse finish." "If you attack the problem, you can find a solution. If you dance around it, you'll never solve it." "The healthiest marriages keep working on communication because every season of life requires new ways of understanding each other." Time to Talk About it: When do you feel the most heard and understood by me? Is there anything I could do differently to help you feel that way more often? Which communication style do you think describes each of us best, and how have our differences helped—or challenged—our marriage? What's one small change we could each make this week to communicate with more grace, patience, and understanding? Mention
- Aug 18, 202619 min
Becoming Your Spouse's Biggest Encourager: How Words and Support Shape Your Marriage Over Time. Ep. 744
Our spouse hears messages every day from the world—criticism, pressure, comparison, and doubt. But what if home became the place where they were reminded of who they are, what they're capable of, and how deeply they're loved? In this episode, Dr. Kim and Nancy talk about the power of encouragement in marriage and why your words carry more weight than anyone else's. They share personal stories from their own marriage, practical ways to encourage your spouse authentically, and how couples can replace patterns of criticism with a culture of support. Whether your marriage is thriving or you've fallen into a habit of negativity, this conversation will challenge you to become your spouse's greatest encourager. Quotes from this Episode: Dr. Kim "I don't care what anyone else thinks. Hearing your encouragement makes all the difference in the world." "When your spouse gets more encouragement from someone else than from you, there's a void in the marriage." "Your encouragement is meant to build your spouse up, not put them in the box you want them to fit in." "The more you become a student of your spouse, the more you'll know how to encourage them in ways that truly matter." "When I ask God to help me see you through His eyes, I'm flooded with good things to tell you." "When you see yourselves as a team, encouragement becomes part of how you do life together." Mrs. Nancy "Your spouse is the most important person in your life. What they say carries more weight than anyone else's words." "Sometimes we simply need our spouse to say, 'You can do this.' Those words can make all the difference." "Living in a fallen world makes negativity come naturally, but that's not how God designed our marriages." "Specific encouragement is powerful because it reminds your spouse of the unique gifts and strengths God has given them." "A look or a tone can discourage just as much as words." "When I pray for you, it changes my heart. It changes the way I see you." Time to Talk About it: When do you feel the most encouraged by me? What specific words or actions help you feel seen, valued, and believed in? Have criticism or negativity become a habit in any area of our marriage? What's one intentional way we can replace those patterns with encouragement this week? How can I better support what God is doing in your life instead of trying to shape you into who I think you should be? Mentioned in this Episode: Sign up for our daily One Thing email! Struggling with your attitude toward your spouse? Find it hard to encourage someone you feel disconnected from? Our Reframing Challenge will help! Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You'll love our 4 Days to Growing Gratitude in Marriage . Check it out with your spouse! If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com,
- Aug 11, 202618 min
What If I've Apologized—but My Spouse Still Won't Let It Go? Ep. 743
Have you ever sincerely apologized to your spouse but felt like you were still paying for the mistake weeks or even months later? Or maybe you're the one carrying a hurt that just won't seem to heal, even though you've chosen to forgive. In this episode, Dr. Kim unpacks the important differences between forgiveness, healing, and trust—and why they don't all happen on the same timeline. He shares practical encouragement for both the spouse who has apologized and the spouse who is still hurting, offering biblical wisdom and realistic next steps for rebuilding trust, extending grace, and moving toward genuine healing together. Episode Takeaways: Forgiveness is a standard and it's a choice. Wounds take time to heal. Trust is rebuilt through behavior, not just an apology. There's a difference between a lingering hurt and using a past hurt as leverage. Don't give up on one another. Let your actions carry the weight! Quotes from this episode: "You can't control your spouse's healing timeline. You can control whether you're showing up with humility and consistency." "Suppressed pain almost always surfaces later—usually at the worst possible moment and in the worst possible way." "The question isn't whether your spouse has forgiven you. The question might be whether you're giving them the space and time to heal." "Real healing requires honesty, not performance." "They chose honesty over pretending. They chose forgiveness over bitterness. And God honored that." Time to Talk About it: When you've been hurt by each other, do we tend to expect forgiveness, healing, and trust to happen at the same pace? How might understanding the difference between those three change the way we respond to one another? Is there an apology from the past that still feels unresolved for either of us? What would help us continue moving toward healing without reopening old wounds or keeping score? What's one practical way each of us can help rebuild trust this week—whether that's through consistent actions, honest communication, or extending grace? Mentioned in this Episode: Sign up for our daily One Thing email! If trust has been broken in your marriage, and you need a place to start, check out our Rebuilding Trust Challenge. Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You'll love our Learning to Apologize Well reading plan. Check it out with your spouse! If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!
- Aug 4, 202642 min
Married and Mastering Money with Dan and Kay Ockey Ep. 742
Money is one of the biggest sources of conflict in marriage—but it doesn't have to be. In this episode, Dr. Kim sits down with financial coaches Dan and Kay Ockey to talk about why money is so much more than numbers. They unpack how family backgrounds, emotions, communication, and faith all shape the way couples handle finances. You'll also hear practical steps for getting on the same page, creating healthy financial habits, and replacing fear with faithful stewardship. Whether you're trying to pay off debt, build a budget, or simply have better conversations about money, this episode will encourage you to work as a team and steward what God has entrusted to you with confidence and purpose. Episode Highlights: Money is emotional. Learn how your past influences the way you spend, save, and give today. Communication changes everything. Discover why a simple weekly financial check-in can strengthen your marriage. Budgets create freedom, not limitations. Learn practical tools for managing money together with confidence. Stewardship starts with trust. See how viewing your finances through God's perspective can bring greater peace and purpose. Quotes from this Episode: Dr. Kim Kimberling "Money can quietly create stress and distance in a marriage if we're not intentional." "Take a chance. Throw caution to the wind and say, 'God, I'm all in.' You'll see Him show up." "A budget doesn't restrict your freedom—it gives you freedom because you know where your money is going." "Your kids are watching your marriage. The way you steward your relationship becomes their textbook for the future." Dan Ockey "Most couples agree on where they want to go—they just disagree on how to get there." "Everything we have belongs to God. Isn't it worth taking 20 minutes each week to talk about how we're stewarding it?" "Data over drama. Acknowledge the emotions, then let the numbers show you reality." "When we approach money with fear, we make fear-based decisions. When we approach it with faith, we become better stewards." "The long-term consequences of hiding financial struggles are far worse than the short-term pain of an honest conversation." Kay Ockey "Money isn't just dollars and cents. There's so much emotion underneath every financial decision." "The timing of your communication is huge. Don't spring financial conversations on your spouse." "A simple weekly financial check-in can completely change the way you communicate about money." "Just because you're an adult doesn't mean you automatically know how to handle money. It's a skill that can be learned." "When you're overwhelmed, don't lose sight of having a goal that gives you hope and something to work toward together." Time to Talk About it: What messages about money did you learn growing up, and how do they still influence the way you handle finances today? How can we create a regular time to talk about money so it feels like we're working together instead of against each other? What is one financial goal we can begin pursuing together this month that would strengthen both our marriage and our trust in God? Mentioned in This Episode: A
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About Awesome Marriage Podcast
Far too many couples are just surviving their marriage when it was meant to thrive. This is the place for practical tips on how to build an awesome marriage. Our passion is to help you strengthen your marriage.Dr. Kim Kimberling hosts the show. Dr. Kim is the President of Awesome Marriage, has been married for over 50 years, and has been a professional counselor for 40+ years. He is the author of 7 Secrets to An Awesome Marriage ,14 Keys To Lasting Love, and most recently Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half.Dr. Kim will be joined once a month by his wife of 55 years, Nancy Kimberling. He will also host other great guests that will teach and encourage you as you intentionally pursue an awesome marriage. Tune in each week to hear practical advice from Dr. Kim.This podcast is brought to you by the ministry of Awesome Marriage.
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