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by Jane McFadden
Being a mum is hard enough. Being a mum with ADHD — or raising neurodivergent kids — is a whole different level. ADHD Mums is the unfiltered, science-meets-reality podcast hosted by Jane McFadden — an Autistic and ADHD mum with a Master's in Neuroscience and Psychology and certification as an ADHD and Autism assessor. This isn't another polished parenting show with 'ten easy tips'. It's real stories, confessions we're not supposed to say out loud, and the research that explains why so many of us are running on empty. Every week you'll hear: 🎙️ Confessions — raw, anonymous truths from mums navigating rage, burnout, and survival. 🧠 Expert insights — from clinicians, researchers, and policy leaders on ADHD, autism, and mental health. 💬 Advocacy in action — exposing ADHD medication shortages, NDIS red tape, and the hidden costs mothers carry. With over 1 million downloads from around the world, the podcast has influenced ADHD reforms in Australia, been featured in national media, and pushed politicians to answer the questions mothers are asking. If you've ever screamed in the car, forgotten every form until the night before, or wondered if you're the only one falling apart — this podcast is your proof that you're not broken, you're just telling the truth.
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The whistle's gone, they've lost by three, and he's standing in the middle of the pitch with his socks down and his shin pads on the grass, not moving. He walks off past the handshake line, straight to you, face like thunder — they didn't pass to me, I could have won that — and he shoves your arm. And the two mums behind you stop talking.You already know what the sideline wants you to do. This episode is about what it costs when you do it, and what to do instead when you're standing there at 10am on a Saturday with everyone watching.Related EpisodesEvery parenting episode in one place → https://tr.ee/parentingEvery RSD episode in one place → https://tr.ee/RSDMeltdown & Shutdown Guide — a printed guide for the meltdowns, the shutdowns, and the recovery this episode is about → https://adhdmums.com.au/product/navigating-meltdowns-strategies-for-parents/Join the ADHD Mums Facebook group — this exact situation comes up constantly in there → https://facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcastSend in a listener question — this episode came from one. WhatsApp 0403 457 313 → https://wa.me/61403457313All episodes → https://adhdmums.captivate.fm/listen📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313All the top rated episodes sorted by topic👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group👥 Receive the episodes in your inbox
You're bendy. You get dizzy when you stand up. Your periods are heavy, the headaches are worse the week before, you're constipated, you're exhausted, and your mood falls off a cliff for a few days a month. Every one of those has been looked at on its own and waved off. Your bloods came back normal, so that was that.You probably don't have seven separate conditions. Dr Ceri Cashell is an Irish GP on Sydney's Northern Beaches who has spent her career on the part of medicine nobody was taught, and she starts this episode by explaining what fake nails have to do with any of it.Related EpisodesEvery Women's Health episode in one place → https://tr.ee/womenshealthMentioned in this episodeHealthy Hormones — the free national community Dr Cashell co-founded with Dr Emma Harvey. There's a medically moderated community for women, and a list of clinicians who've completed their extra menopause training → https://www.healthyhormones.au/welcome — Instagram @healthy_hormonesAustralian POTS Foundation — download the active stand test, and find POTS-aware practitioners → https://potsfoundation.org.au/The Ehlers-Danlos Society — including the Beighton score, the basic hypermobility self-check → https://www.ehlers-danlos.com/Dysautonomia International → https://www.dysautonomiainternational.org/Dr Cashell's own books have been closed for a couple of years — Healthy Hormones is where to find a clinician.Join the ADHD Mums Facebook group — the listener questions in this episode came from there → https://facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcastAll episodes → https://adhdmums.captivate.fm/listen📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313All the top rated episodes sorted by topic👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group👥 Receive the episodes in your inbox
You were fine at 9am. Genuinely fine. Then it's school pickup, the gates open, there are dogs and toddlers and a teacher walking towards you, and one kid starts up with let's go to the park, let's go to the park. And you hear yourself snap at someone who did nothing wrong.You didn't ignore the warning signs. You weren't getting them. That's a different problem, and it needs a different fix.Related EpisodesEvery Mum Rage episode in one place — the collection Jane mentions in this episode → https://tr.ee/adhdmumsmumrageADHD and Sensory Overwhelm: Identifying Triggers and Finding Relief — with Rebecca Torpie → https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-13-adhd-sensory-overwhelm-identifying-triggers-and-finding-relief-with-rebecca-torpie/Energy Accounting Guide (free) — the guide Jane mentions in this episode, for working out where your capacity actually goes → https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/Join the ADHD Mums Facebook group — where Jane runs body doubling sessions for the dreaded tasks → https://facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcastInstagram — body doubling also runs in the broadcast channel → https://www.instagram.com/adhd_mums/All episodes → https://adhdmums.captivate.fm/listen📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313Send a SMS voice or written on 0403 457 313👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group👥 Receive the episodes in your inbox
Have you ever been told your bloods are fine, it's just busy mum life, and walked out still dizzy, still flat, still carrying a headache you've had for so long you forgot it wasn't normal? Have you ever watched a friend do eight-hour days like it's nothing and quietly decided the difference must be you — that you're just weaker, and you need to suck it up?There's a reason your body keeps stopping after twenty years of pushing through. Bianca Comfort has lived it and treats it, and she says the crash isn't the failure. It's the last thing your body has left to tell you.RESOURCES & REFERENCESFree ResourcesADHD Physical Health & Emotional Wellbeing Kit — for the burnout, the chronic symptoms, and the body-keeps-score part — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-physical-health-emotional-wellbeing-kit/Energy Accounting Guide — the closest thing to the energy-mapping Bianca walks through — where your limit actually is — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/Paid ResourcesADHD Reset Workbook — Values, Energy & Planning — for mapping what fills the tank and what drains it — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-reset-workbook-values-energy-planning-for-adhd-mums/ADHD Mums Shop — https://adhdmums.com.au/shop/Related EpisodesBurnout, Pain & Weird Symptoms? The ADHD Link No One Told Us About — Jane solo — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-62-burnout-pain-weird-symptoms-the-adhd-link-no-one-told-us-about/ADHD and EDS/POTS: Vanessa's Journey Through Chronic Health Challenges — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-41-connection-between-adhd-eds-and-pots-vanessas-journey-through-chronic-health-challenges/Preventing Burnout: The Power of Setting Boundaries — with Kara Lynch — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-37-adhd-autism-or-both-karas-story-of-burnout-and-sensory-overload/When You Can't Relax Even When It's Quiet — What Your Body Is Doing and Why — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/why-adhd-mums-cant-relax/Masking & ADHD — Jane — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/masking-adhd-s1-ep11/Hypermobility, POTS and MCAS: The Conditions That Cluster With ADHD (with Dr Jason Lam) — https://adhdmums.com.au/episode/hypermobility-pots-mcas-adhdAbout the GuestBianca Comfort is a clinical psychologist running a telehealth clinic dedicated to chronic illness and neurodivergence, and the former Vice President of the Australian Psychological Society. She's autistic and ADHD herself, and lives with EDS, POTS, MCAS and ME/CFS — she treats this from both sides of the desk.📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313Send a SMS voice or written on 0403 457 313👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group<a href="https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/768431/193560715115628427/share" rel="noo
Have you ever bought the perfect birthday present weeks early, felt properly pleased with yourself, and then lost it before the birthday? Filled in the form, folded the flap, put it somewhere safe on the Sunday — and by Wednesday it had gone? Renewed the passports early, put them in the safe place, and then had no idea where the safe place was?You've been told your problem is that you're disorganised. It isn't. There's a job that piece of paper was doing that nobody ever told you about, and every system you've ever bought only does half of it.Household Family Meeting Template (free) → https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-household-family-meeting-template/Send Jane a voice memo — what did you do early that still disappeared? WhatsApp 0403 457 313 → https://wa.me/61403457313Join the ADHD Mums Facebook group → https://facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcastMore on this ADHD Stress and Emotional Regulation: What Your Kids Noticed That You Didn't— the soccer photo envelope episode this one follows on from → https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/why-are-you-always-so-stressed-out-my-eight-year-old-asked-me-that-an-hour-after-i-called-myself-organised/QUICK RESET: 'I'm Not Lazy — My House Just Doesn't Have a Memory' → https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-49-quick-reset-im-not-lazy-my-house-just-doesnt-have-a-memory/Mentioned in this episodeBarreau, D. & Nardi, B. (1995). Finding and reminding: File organization from the desktop. ACM SIGCHI Bulletin, 27(3), 39–43.All episodes →https://adhdmums.captivate.fm/listen👥 Receive the episodes in your inbox
You might be the bendy one. Or the dizzy one, the one with the headaches that never really stop, the one who reacts to food nobody else reacts to. Tired in a way sleep doesn't fix. And every time you get to a GP, you can't quite land on the same page as them.Dr Jason Lam is a GP and sports medicine registrar who spends his days on the things that get missed — hypermobility, Ehlers-Danlos, POTS, MCAS, and the way they tangle together in a neurodivergent body. This is the episode that joins the dots nobody has joined for you.CHAPTERS00:16 — The bendy one, the dizzy one, the one who reacts to food nobody else reacts to01:14 — Who Dr Lam is, and the introduction Bianca gave him02:40 — The consults that kept running long, because he couldn't let things go03:57 — Hypermobility spectrum disorder vs hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos — and the definition about to change05:14 — What POTS actually is, and the nervous system running everything you never think about06:33 — Why it flips and flops, and what that means for treatment07:55 — MCAS explained through hay fever — and what mast cells do everywhere else09:09 — Why one lot drops their bundle and another lot joins the party10:26 — Energy-limiting conditions, long COVID, ME/CFS — and the research that connected them11:37 — Lipedema in the mix, and why the gut people now say to check for hypermobility12:59 — Medical misogyny, being palmed off, and the specialist who tore up a diagnosis14:17 — What pattern should make a woman think 'I need to get assessed'15:37 — Why you shouldn't wait until crisis point — and why climbing back is harder17:06 — 'Your tests are normal' — and the limits of the tests themselves18:20 — Bouncing between specialists who each treat their own little bit19:44 — Why the hyperspecialist model breaks down on multisystem conditions21:17 — The allied health people doing the heavy lifting22:28 — Upskilling GPs, and where the next generation of doctors is coming from23:38 — What's actually improved in four years of this podcast24:50 — 'We don't do a great job of this' — a doctor owning it26:13 — For the woman who's seen everyone and still has no answers27:35 — 'I might not find the root cause, but I can make you feel better'28:45 — Why more treatment isn't always better, and how this shifts across a lifespanRESOURCES & REFERENCESFree ResourcesADHD Physical Health & Emotional Wellbeing Kit (free) → https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-physical-health-emotional-wellbeing-kit/Energy Accounting Guide — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/Paid ResourcesADHD Mums Shop — https://adhdmums.com.au/shop/Related EpisodesADHD and EDS/POTS: Vanessa's Journey Through Chronic Health Challenges → https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-41-connection-between-adhd-eds-and-pots-vanessas-journey-through-chronic-health-challenges/HORMONES: Histamine + Hormones — Why You Feel Like You're Falling Apart → https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-37-hormones-histamine-and-adhd-why-you-feel-like-youre-falling-apart/About the GuestLooking for a practitioner? Dr Jason Lam points listeners to the practitioner registers at the Ehlers-Danlos Society and Connective Tissue Disorders Network Australia.Join the ADHD Mums Facebook group → https://facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcastMore from Dr Jason Lam — https://www.thedancedr.com.au — Instagram @_thedancedrDr Jason Lam — useful links and resources are on his website → https://www.thedancedr.com.auAll episodes → <a href="https://adhdmums.captivate.fm/lis
There's a mum at pickup you really like. Ninety seconds every afternoon, one of those chats where you both go 'yeah, exactly' — and then the kids spill out, someone's swinging a backpack like a helicopter, someone's demanding the petrol station, and you're pulled away before you can even say goodbye. And every day you get back to the car thinking: I should have her over. We should do a barbecue. I'd love to actually talk to her for more than ninety seconds.You got her number in January. It's the end of July. And you've made no progress at all. You've probably already filed that as proof you're flaky, cold, a bad friend. This episode is Jane taking that story apart — because the silence between you and someone you genuinely like usually isn't 'I don't want this.' It's 'I want this, but I have no hands to build it with.'CHAPTERS00:00 — Nat, the 90-second pickup chat, and the barbecue that never happens02:29 — Got her number in January. It's July. No progress.03:57 — 'I'm flaky, I'm cold, I'm a bad friend' — the personality we build around it05:33 — The executive-function tax on turning a pickup mum into a real friend06:36 — It's not that you need to try harder. It might be the fuel tank.07:13 — The mum with the same life who still hosts the perfect Sunday barbecue08:36 — Good girl conditioning: when friendship becomes your job to carry10:45 — When you can't stand the silence — and what your brain files it as12:09 — Why a late-diagnosed brain has had decades to build 'I ruin friendships'14:31 — The flicker of energy, and the threat analysis that kills the text15:54 — The heart-react as a hostage 'proof of life' photo17:35 — Moving to acreage, and quietly deleting myself18:43 — 'I want this, but I have no hands to build it with'20:16 — Why 'just put yourself out there' aims you straight at burnout22:11 — What actually works: the low-fuel, no-apology text23:42 — Drop the bar. Plug a friend into the worst 40 minutes of your week.26:28 — Maybe the skill isn't the barbecue. It's letting friendship be uneven.WHAT WE COVERThe pickup mum you really like, the barbecue you keep meaning to have, and the seven months that have quietly gone byWhy 'I'm flaky, I'm cold, I'm a bad friend' becomes a personality — and what it's actually covering forThe hidden executive-function tax on turning a mum you like into a mum who's actually your friend: remembering, initiating, holding the plan, pushing through the 'what if it's awkward'Why the friend with the same number of kids and the same Saturday sport still hosts the perfect Sunday barbecue — and why it's not that she's better at friendshipGood girl conditioning, and what happens when you learned early that friendship is your job to carry, keep alive, and never dropThe other version — when you can't stand the silence, and your brain files 'haven't heard from them in ages' as dangerThe flicker of energy to send the text, and the threat analysis your brain runs to talk you out of itThe heart-react on her story as a 'hostage proof of life' photo — I'm here, I'm fine, please don't give up on meWhy 'put yourself out there, just make more effort, have them over' is telling you to spend the exact thing you've run out ofWhat actually works with an empty tank: the low-fuel, no-apology text, dropping the bar, and letting the friendship be uneven and survive anywayFREE RESOURCESEnergy Accounting Guide — mentioned in the episode — budget your energy for your real capacity, not what you think you should be doing — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/Household Family Meeting Template — for the load underneath 'there are no leftovers' — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-household-family-meeting-template/PAID RESOURCESADHD Mums Shop — https://adhdmums.com.au/shop/RELATED EPISODESSchool Pick-Up Can Be Draining! How to Stop Overthinking & Save Your Social Energy — S2 EP65, Jane solo — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-65-school-pick-up-can-be-draining-how-to-stop-overthinking-save-your-social-energy/QUICK RESET: I Cancel Plans Because I Don't Have the Energy to Fake My Personality — S
From the outside, she's on top of it. Then something small happens — a cold, a bad night, one extra thing — and the whole thing collapses. And she decides the collapse is the problem. She needs to be better. More disciplined. Try harder.But the collapse isn't the problem. The collapse is information. The problem is that she's been running her whole life on a system that was never built for her brain — and every time it falls over, she reads it as proof that she's the thing that's broken. Rachel Few is back, and this one is about the loop underneath all of it: if I could just try harder. Why effort was rewarded your whole life, why it stopped working the moment you had kids, and what it actually takes to stop surviving and start thriving — not the influencer version with the one massage and the full cup, the real one.CHAPTERS00:00 — The collapse isn't the problem. The collapse is information.02:07 — Why 'just try harder' worked for years — until it didn't03:12 — Jane's two years out of school, and the effort trap hiding inside a success story04:36 — Add kids, and the sprint you can't run as a marathon05:42 — Fight or flight: why you can't get the drone view of your own life06:41 — Why every mum deserves a coach, and nobody questions it for a marathon06:56 — The homework trap — leaving every appointment with more to do09:02 — Why women keep landing back on 'I'm the problem'10:25 — Effort that's purposeful vs effort that's just doing, doing, doing11:26 — 'I've done years of therapy but I still can't get the shopping done'13:22 — When to go back and unpack, and when to stay in the here and now15:27 — The Friday meltdown that actually started on Monday16:48 — The map: why women stop feeling like they're winging it17:45 — The wine-and-big-plans trap, and Jane's real conversation with her husband20:15 — The rugby coaching question — is it the thing you want, or one of four?23:38 — Doing the mapping for our kids but never for ourselves26:35 — Her one takeaway: cancel half a dayRESOURCES & REFERENCESFor more on Rachel Few — https://rachelfew.com/Free ResourcesADHD Physical Health & Emotional Wellbeing Kit — for the burnout and the body-keeps-score part — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-physical-health-emotional-wellbeing-kit/Paid ResourcesADHD Reset Workbook — Values, Energy & Planning — the closest thing to the 'what fills my cup, what goes, where are my spoons' mapping Rachel walks through — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-reset-workbook-values-energy-planning-for-adhd-mums/ADHD Mums Shop — https://adhdmums.com.au/shop/Related EpisodesOverstimulated Before 7am — And No One Sees the Work — with Rachel Few — her first episode, one of the most-consumed on the show — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/rachel-few/What Is Underneath the Mask? Uncovering Who You Are After Diagnosis — S2 EP17, with Tanya Hicks — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-17-underneath-the-mask-uncovering-who-you-are-after-diagnosis/Burnout, Pain & Weird Symptoms? The ADHD Link No One Told Us About — S2 EP62, Jane solo — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-62-burnout-pain-weird-symptoms-the-adhd-link-no-one-told-us-about/Preventing Burnout: The Power of Setting Boundaries — S2 EP37, with Kara Lynch — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-37-adhd-autism-or-both-karas-story-of-burnout-and-sensory-overload/About the GuestRachel Few runs Neurodivergent Counselling and Mentoring on the Sunshine Coast — telehealth, available Australia-wide. As a social worker, former school couns
Being a mum is hard enough. Being a mum with ADHD — or raising neurodivergent kids — is a whole different level. ADHD Mums is the unfiltered, science-meets-reality podcast hosted by Jane McFadden — an Autistic and ADHD mum with a Master's in Neuroscience and Psychology and certification as an ADHD and Autism assessor. This isn't another polished parenting show with 'ten easy tips'. It's real stories, confessions we're not supposed to say out loud, and the research that explains why so many of us are running on empty. Every week you'll hear: 🎙️ Confessions — raw, anonymous truths from mums navigating rage, burnout, and survival. 🧠 Expert insights — from clinicians, researchers, and policy leaders on ADHD, autism, and mental health. 💬 Advocacy in action — exposing ADHD medication shortages, NDIS red tape, and the hidden costs mothers carry. With over 1 million downloads from around the world, the podcast has influenced ADHD reforms in Australia, been featured in national media, and pushed politicians to answer the questions mothers are asking. If you've ever screamed in the car, forgotten every form until the night before, or wondered if you're the only one falling apart — this podcast is your proof that you're not broken, you're just telling the truth.
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