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You Can Be Both: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Lauren Lanzaretta
You Can Be Both is hosted by singer/songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, who shares honest conversations about being both gay and Christian—two identities often seen as incompatible. The podcast creates space for LGBTQ+ people of faith to find healing, community, and a deeper connection with Christ while fully embracing who they are.
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- 5 days ago49 min
The Truth About Being Gay and Christian | 1 Year of You Can Be Both with Lauren Lanzaretta
What happens when you turn your most personal struggles into a mission to help others find hope, healing, and belonging? One year, 52 episodes, and countless conversations later, You Can Be Both is celebrating its first anniversary! In this special episode, Lauren Lanzaretta looks back at why she started this podcast, what she's learned along the way, the conversations that changed her life, and what's coming next.Lauren opens up about growing up evangelical, discovering she was gay, spending years in the closet, and the journey that led her to reconcile her faith and sexuality. She shares why she created You Can Be Both for LGBTQ+ people of faith who feel isolated, rejected, or afraid that being gay means losing their relationship with God.Together, we look back at some of the most powerful conversations from the past year, including emotional moments, theological discoveries, stories of religious trauma, and voices that are changing the conversation around LGBTQ+ identity and Christianity.IN THIS EPISODE:🌈 Why Lauren started You Can Be Both and the story behind its launch❤️ Growing up evangelical Christian and struggling with her sexuality💔 Spending years in the closet and the impact of religious shame🙏 How Lauren reconciled being gay and Christian📖 What we've learned about Scripture, theology, and the LGBTQ+ community⛪ Challenging traditional interpretations of the Bible and the so-called clobber verses🧠 Understanding religious trauma and its impact on mental health and relationships🏳️⚧️ Learning from LGBTQ+ voices and understanding the trans experience💬 The importance of affirming churches, allies, and supportive families😭 The most emotional moments from our conversations with guests🎤 Lauren's TOP 5 favorite episodes from the past year✨ What's next for You Can Be Both, including new resources, coaching, community events, and more!WHY THIS MISSION MATTERS:You Can Be Both was created for the person who feels alone. The person questioning everything they've been taught. The person afraid of going to hell, struggling with religious trauma, or wondering if they can ever feel fully accepted by God and their community.If that's you, I want you to know something: You are not alone. Your story matters. You don't have to hide who you are to have a relationship with God.And this is only the beginning. We're growing our community, developing new resources, bringing in more experts and guests, and creating opportunities for LGBTQ+ people of faith to connect, heal, and thrive.ABOUT YOU CAN BE BOTH:You Can Be Both is a podcast and community for LGBTQ+ people of faith who have been told they have to choose between being queer and believing in God.Hosted by singer-songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, we explore LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, the Bible, deconstruction, healing, and what it means to embrace both faith and sexuality.🌈 JOIN THE COMMUNITY:https://youcanbeboth.com/community❤️ SUPPORT THE MISSION:Help us continue creating content, resources, and community for LGBTQ+ people of faith. Your support helps us reach more people who need to know they aren't alone.https://donorbox.org/support-the-mission-978622🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC:https://open.spotify.com/artist/3OUE5💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION:What has been your favorite You Can Be Both episode over the past year? What have you learned? And what topics or guests would you like to see in the future? Let us know in the comments!If this podcast has impacted your life, please subscribe, like, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear this message.You can be LGBTQ+. You can have faith. You can question everything. And you can be both. 🌈❤️#YouCanBeBoth #GayChristian #LGBTQChristian #LGBTQFaith #ChristianPodcast #ReligiousTrauma #ChristianDeconstruction #GayAndChristian #FaithAndSexuality #QueerChristian #LGBTQPodcast #AffirmingChristianity #ReligiousDeconstruction #LGBTQ #QueerFaith #Christianity
- 1 weeks ago1h 22m
She Was a Christian Music Star. Then She Came Out as Gay | Jennifer Knapp Tells All
What happens when a successful Christian music artist begins questioning the beliefs she's expected to represent, discovers she's gay, and realizes she can no longer participate in an industry that doesn't reflect who she is? In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with singer-songwriter Jennifer Knapp to discuss coming out as gay, her experience in contemporary Christian music, religious deconstruction, LGBTQ+ identity, and what it means to reclaim your faith and find your voice.Jennifer shares her journey from growing up in Kansas and entering the Christian music industry to becoming one of the first prominent Christian recording artists to publicly come out as gay. She opens up about the pressure to conform to evangelical expectations, the impact of purity culture, and why she ultimately walked away from Christian music. She also explores the complicated relationship between faith and sexuality, challenging traditional interpretations of Christianity, and why our personal experiences should matter when shaping our spiritual beliefs.In this episode:🌈 Jennifer's journey into contemporary Christian music and becoming a recording artist🎤 What it was like being a successful artist in the Christian music industry❤️ Discovering her sexuality and coming out as gay💔 Why Jennifer walked away from Christian music in 2002⛪ The pressure of evangelical Christianity and traditional gender roles🔥 The True Love Waits movement & purity culture📖 Deconstructing Christianity and questioning traditional theology🧠 Why your personal experiences matter in your spiritual journey🏳️🌈 The reality of LGBTQ+ Christians finding affirming faith communities💬 Why being gay and Christian shouldn't be a contradiction🙏 Does Jennifer Knapp still consider herself a Christian?🎶 Finding her voice again and returning to music✨ Why everyone has a theology, even if they don't believe in GodJennifer's story is a powerful reminder that faith doesn't have to mean conformity, and that questioning what you've been taught doesn't mean abandoning everything you believe. You can challenge religious teachings, embrace your identity, and create a spiritual life that reflects your own experiences, values, and understanding of the world.You don't have to let someone else define your relationship with God, your sexuality, or your place in the Christian community. And LGBTQ+ people aren't outsiders to the faith. We've always been here, contributing, loving, leading, and shaping the communities we're part of.You can be LGBTQ+. You can have faith. You can question everything. And you can be both. 🌈❤️ABOUT JENNIFER: https://jenniferknapp.com/ABOUT YOU CAN BE BOTH:You Can Be Both is a podcast for LGBTQ people of faith who have been told they have to choose between being queer and believing in God.Hosted by singer-songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, the podcast explores LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, the Bible, deconstruction, healing, and faith.🌈 JOIN THE COMMUNITY: youcanbeboth.com/community🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC: https://open.spotify.com/artist/3OUE5✨ LEARN MORE: youcanbeboth.comIf this episode connected with you, subscribe, comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. ❤️#YouCanBeBoth #JenniferKnapp #GayChristian #LGBTQChristian #ChristianMusic #ComingOut #ReligiousDeconstruction #ChristianDeconstruction #LGBTQFaith #FaithAndSexuality #QueerChristian <a href="https://www.youtube.com/hashtag/l
- 2 weeks ago56 min
How LGBTQ+ people Can Heal From Religious Trauma Without Losing Their Faith
What happens when a queer therapist who grew up in a nontraditional family enters the Christian church, questions everything she was taught about sexuality, and discovers the lasting impact of religious trauma? In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Ann Russo, licensed clinical social worker, theologian, and creator of the Religious Trauma Treatment Model, to discuss LGBTQ+ identity, Christian deconstruction, purity culture, and healing from religious trauma. Ann shares her journey from attending evangelical churches and studying theology to becoming a therapist who helps people navigate the complicated relationship between faith, sexuality, and mental health. She also explains how high-control religion can impact self-worth, relationships, and sexual expression—and why healing doesn't have to mean abandoning your faith.In this episode:🌈 Growing up in a queer, nontraditional family in the 80s & 90s✝️ Can you be LGBTQ+ and Christian?💔 How religious trauma and rejection affect mental health📖 What does the Bible actually say about homosexuality?🧠 Signs you may have experienced religious trauma⛪ High-control religion, church culture, and deconstruction❤️ How to heal while maintaining your faith🔥 Purity culture, sexual shame, and sexual empowerment💬 How to begin healing from harmful religious teachings🫶 Coming out to your family with confidence and self-acceptance✨ The Religious Trauma Treatment Model and finding your own pathAnn's story and clinical work offer a powerful reminder that you don't have to choose between your identity and your faith. You can question the teachings that hurt you, explore what you genuinely believe, and learn to trust yourself again. Healing is a process, and you deserve the freedom to define your values, your sexuality, and your spiritual journey without shame or fear. 🌈❤️You can be LGBTQ+. You can be Christian. And you can be both.MORE ABOUT ANN:https://www.amrtherapy.com/ABOUT YOU CAN BE BOTHYou Can Be Both is a podcast for LGBTQ people of faith who have been told they have to choose between being queer and believing in God.Hosted by singer-songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, the podcast explores LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, the Bible, deconstruction, healing, and faith.🌈 JOIN THE COMMUNITY: youcanbeboth.com/community🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC: https://open.spotify.com/artist/3OUE5✨ LEARN MORE: youcanbeboth.comIf this episode connected with you, subscribe, comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. ❤️#YouCanBeBoth #AnnRusso #ReligiousTrauma #GayChristian #LGBTQChristian #LGBTQ #QueerChristian #ChristianDeconstruction #ReligiousTraumaHealing #PurityCulture #SexualShame #AffirmingChristian #LGBTQFaith #ChristianPodcast #LGBTQPodcast #QueerTheology #GayChristians #FaithAndSexuality #ChurchHurt #Deconstruction
- 3 weeks ago1h 10m
He Grew Up an Evangelical Missionary’s Son. Now He’s Gay and Rethinking God
What happens when a gay man raised in an evangelical missionary family leaves Christianity, then starts asking questions about God again? In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with comedian, actor, and writer Matt LeGrande to discuss being gay and Christian, deconstruction, family, and finding a personal understanding of faith.Matt shares why he stepped away from the church and how he is exploring spirituality, rereading the Bible, and questioning beliefs he once accepted. He also opens up about the pain of knowing his mother believes he is going to hell because he is gay—and how he continues to approach their relationship with love, honesty, and a willingness to seek truth.In this episode:🌈 Growing up gay in an evangelical missionary family✝️ Can you be gay and Christian?💔 When a parent believes you’re going to hell📖 Rereading the Bible and asking questions🧠 Christian deconstruction and questioning what you were taught🙏 Leaving the church and finding your way back to God❤️ Loving family members when you disagree about faith💬 Why seeking truth matters more than being right😂 Comedy, religion, and spirituality✨ Exploring faith with an open mindMatt’s story is a reminder that faith journeys aren’t always linear. You can question what you were taught, step away from religion, and remain curious about God. You can love your family while being honest about who you are, and you don’t have to abandon your identity to explore faith. 🌈❤️You can be LGBTQ+. You can be Christian. And you can be both.ABOUT YOU CAN BE BOTHYou Can Be Both is a podcast for LGBTQ people of faith who have been told they have to choose between being queer and believing in God.Hosted by singer-songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, the podcast explores LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, the Bible, deconstruction, healing, and faith.🌈 JOIN THE COMMUNITY: youcanbeboth.com/community🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC: https://open.spotify.com/artist/3OUE5✨ LEARN MORE: youcanbeboth.comIf this episode connected with you, subscribe, comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. ❤️#YouCanBeBoth, #MattLeGrande, #GayChristian, #LGBTQChristian, #LGBTQ, #QueerChristian, #ChristianDeconstruction, #ReligiousTrauma, #AffirmingChristian, #LGBTQFaith, #ChristianPodcast, #LGBTQPodcast, #QueerTheology, #GayChristians, #LGBTQCommunity, #Christianity, #FaithAndSexuality
- Oct 11, 20261h 29m
"I'm Gay, Not Queer" -- Matthew Vines FINALLY Responds to the LGBTQ+ Backlash
What happens when one of the most well-known gay Christian voices becomes the target of criticism from within the LGBTQ+ community? In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Matthew Vines to address the controversy surrounding his New York Times article, “I’m Gay, Not Queer. It Matters.” Matthew responds directly to the criticism that he is too conservative, too focused on acceptance, or trying to conform LGBTQ+ people to traditional Christian values. He explains what he actually meant, why he believes LGBTQ people should be free to think for themselves, and why being gay shouldn't come with a predetermined political, sexual, or ideological worldview.In this episode:🔥 Matthew responds to the backlash over his New York Times article🏳️🌈 “I’m Gay, Not Queer” — what Matthew actually meant✝️ LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity & affirming theology🧠 Queer theory vs. affirming theology💬 Why being LGBTQ+ shouldn't dictate what you believe❤️🩹 Can LGBTQ+ people be more conventional without being “less queer”?💍 Monogamy, marriage & sexual ethics🔥 Why Matthew says LGBTQ+ people shouldn't be pressured to conform🗣️ The importance of disagreement, debate & freedom within the LGBTQ+ community✨ Finding a middle ground between faith, identity and freedomMatthew also addresses one of the biggest questions surrounding the controversy: Can LGBTQ+ people be fully accepted without all believing the same things? His answer is a powerful argument for allowing LGBTQ+ people the freedom to define themselves, their relationships, their beliefs, and their faith for themselves. 🌈❤️You can be LGBTQ+. You can be Christian. And you can be both.ABOUT YOU CAN BE BOTHYou Can Be Both is a podcast for LGBTQ people of faith who have been told they have to choose between being queer and believing in God.Hosted by singer-songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, the podcast explores LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, the Bible, deconstruction, healing, and faith.🌈 JOIN THE COMMUNITY:youcanbeboth.com/community🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC:https://open.spotify.com/artist/3OUE5✨ LEARN MORE:youcanbeboth.comIf this episode connected with you, subscribe, comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. ❤️#YouCanBeBoth, #MatthewVines, #GayChristian, #LGBTQChristian, #LGBTQ, #QueerChristian, #ChristianDeconstruction, #ReligiousTrauma, #AffirmingChristian, #LGBTQFaith, #ChristianPodcast, #LGBTQPodcast, #QueerTheology, #GayChristians, #LGBTQCommunity, #Christianity, #FaithAndSexuality
- Oct 6, 20261h 18m
Christian Nationalist to Deconstructing Everything: "I Realized Everything I Was Taught Was Wrong"
What happens when you start questioning everything you were taught about God, Christianity, women, relationships, and your own identity? In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Hope with Holly to talk about Christian nationalism, religious trauma, deconstruction, patriarchy, relationships, and finding the freedom to become your authentic self.Holly spent years deeply involved in evangelical Christianity and eventually began questioning the fundamentalist beliefs she had been taught. Today, she helps people heal from religious and relationship abuse, build healthier boundaries, and reclaim their identity.In this episode:🔥 Christian nationalism & fundamentalist Christianity✝️ Questioning everything you were taught about God💔 Religious trauma, shame & spiritual abuse🧠 Deconstructing Christianity & rebuilding your beliefs👩🦰 Women, patriarchy & purity culture🏳️🌈 LGBTQ+ people of faith & religious trauma❤️🩹 Healing, boundaries & learning to trust yourself✨ Finding freedom and living as your authentic self💛 Why you don't have to prove your worth to anyoneHolly also shares a powerful message for LGBTQ+ people of faith: you are worthy, you belong here, and you don't have to choose between authenticity and love. 🌈❤️You can be LGBTQ+. You can be Christian. And you can be both.ABOUT YOU CAN BE BOTHYou Can Be Both is a podcast for LGBTQ people of faith who have been told they have to choose between being queer and believing in God.Hosted by singer-songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, the podcast explores LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, the Bible, deconstruction, healing, and faith.🌈 JOIN THE COMMUNITY: youcanbeboth.com/community🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC: https://open.spotify.com/artist/3OUE5✨ LEARN MORE: youcanbeboth.comIf this episode connected with you, subscribe, comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. ❤️#YouCanBeBoth, #HopeWithHolly, #ChristianDeconstruction, #ReligiousTrauma, #ChristianNationalism, #LGBTQChristian, #LGBTQChristians, #GayChristian, #QueerChristian, #LGBTQFaith, #DeconstructingChristianity, #Exvangelical, #ReligiousAbuse, #SpiritualAbuse, #LGBTQHealing, #LGBTQPodcast, #ChristianPodcast
- Sep 27, 202630 min
“Unwanted" Same-Sex Attraction — Can You Stop Being Gay?
Can you really change your sexual orientation? And why is same-sex attraction “unwanted” anyways?In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren takes a deeper look at the “ex-gay” movement and the idea of “unwanted same-sex attraction.” She explores the difference between sexual orientation, trauma, shame, self-destructive behavior, and healing—and asks whether the goal should be changing your sexuality or actually healing from the experiences that shaped how you see yourself.Lauren also talks about religious trauma, internalized shame, the pressure LGBTQ+ Christians can feel to reject their sexuality, and the belief that you have to choose between being LGBTQ+ and having a relationship with God.In this episode:🏳️🌈 Being LGBTQ+ and Christian ✝️💭 “Unwanted same-sex attraction”💔 The “ex-gay” movement🧠 Sexual orientation, trauma & shame🙏 Can you change your sexual orientation?📖 Christianity, homosexuality & judgment❤️🩹 Healing vs. changing who you are⛪ Religious trauma and internalized shame🌱 Learning to live from love instead of fear❤️ Finding peace with God as an LGBTQ+ ChristianIf you’ve ever been told that being gay means you’re separated from God, this conversation is for you. 🌈❤️You can be LGBTQ+. You can be Christian. And you can be both.ABOUT YOU CAN BE BOTHYou Can Be Both is a podcast for LGBTQ people of faith who have been told they have to choose between being queer and believing in God.Hosted by singer-songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, the podcast explores LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, the Bible, deconstruction, healing, and what it means to know that you can be both.🌈 JOIN THE COMMUNITY:youcanbeboth.com/community🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC:https://open.spotify.com/artist/3OUE5Cnw4wOsCyYeVHzAif?si=UQLfKf5lTq6Zlx1BspX1lw&nd=1&dlsi=72b0ad4c14024c0c✨ LEARN MORE:youcanbeboth.comIf this episode connected with you, subscribe, comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear that *you don't have to choose between who you are and your relationship with God.*#YouCanBeBoth, #UnwantedSameSexAttraction, #SameSexAttraction, #ExGay, #ExGayMovement, #GayChristian, #LGBTQChristian, #LGBTQChristians, #ChristianAndGay, #ReligiousTrauma, #LGBTQFaith, #FaithAndSexuality, #ConversionTherapy, #GayChristians, #QueerChristian, #ChristianityAndLGBTQ, #LGBTQHealing, #DeconstructingChristianity, #LGBTQPodcast, #ChristianPodcast
- Sep 20, 20261h 5m
He Was Gay, Christian & Celibate… Until He Questioned Everything
What happens when you’re gay, you love Jesus, and you’ve spent years believing those two things can’t coexist?In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Brian Nietzel, LGBTQ+ advocate and co-founder of Renovus and the Making Things Right project, for an honest conversation about faith, sexuality, family, and finding peace with God.Brian shares his journey from conservative Christianity and years of celibacy to coming out, wrestling with Scripture, and realizing he didn't have to choose between being gay and following Jesus.They talk about coming out to his family, religious trauma, the “ex-gay” movement, deconstructing faith, LGBTQ+ Christians and conservative evangelicals, and whether it's possible to bridge the divide.Brian also shares why LGBTQ+ people don't have to be bridge builders—and how rediscovering the heart of Jesus helped him find freedom in his faith.In this episode:🏳️🌈 Being LGBTQ+ and Christian✝️ Faith and sexuality💔 The “ex-gay” movement📖 The Bible and homosexuality👨👩👦 Coming out to family🤝 LGBTQ+ Christians and evangelicals🌱 Deconstructing faith❤️ Finding peace with GodABOUT BRIAN NIETZELBrian Neitzel is a longtime advocate helping Christians and churches move beyond doctrinal debates toward more thoughtful conversations around LGBTQ+ issues. He co-founded Renovatus in 2019 and launched the Making Things Right project in 2021.ABOUT YOU CAN BE BOTHYou Can Be Both is a podcast for LGBTQ people of faith who have been told they have to choose between being queer and believing in God.Hosted by singer-songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, the podcast explores LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, the Bible, deconstruction, healing, and what it means to know that you can be both.🌈 JOIN THE COMMUNITY:youcanbeboth.com/community🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC:https://open.spotify.com/artist/3OUE5Cnw4wOsCyYeVHzAif?si=UQLfKf5lTq6Zlx1BspX1lw✨ LEARN MORE:youcanbeboth.comIf this episode connected with you, subscribe, comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear that **you don't have to choose between who you are and your relationship with God.**#GayChristian, #LGBTQChristian, #LGBTQFaith, #GayAndChristian, #ReligiousTrauma, #Deconstruction, #ExGay, #LGBTQChristians, #QueerChristian, #FaithAndSexuality, #BibleAndLGBTQ, #YouCanBeBoth, #BrianNeitzel
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About You Can Be Both
You Can Be Both is hosted by singer/songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, who shares honest conversations about being both gay and Christian—two identities often seen as incompatible. The podcast creates space for LGBTQ+ people of faith to find healing, community, and a deeper connection with Christ while fully embracing who they are.
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