She Lost Herself Trying to Prove Herself - And Found Who She Really Was in a Gym with Natasha Costales | Bodybuilder, Author, Coach & Host of Bingez to Barbell

At 26, Natasha Costales was leading an English department, inspiring students, and building a career that looked, from the outside, like everything she had ever wanted. Behind it, she was working 12 to 13-hour days, barely sleeping, experiencing panic attacks so severe that colleagues had to physically remove her from her car. She was binge eating to cope, battling sleep paralysis, and in the depths of a depression she hadn't seen coming. She was the strong one. The ambitious one. The one who kept going. Until one day, she couldn't. Her turning point came in 2016 when her brother, a fitness coach, suggested she come to the gym. She thought it was just a hobby. It turned out to be the beginning of the most profound identity transformation of her life.   In this conversation, Rachel and Natasha go deep on: The hidden cost of being the strong, ambitious woman who always proves herself What burnout actually felt like from the inside - and how gradually it became her normal The panic attacks, the depression, the days she couldn't get out of bed or shower The conversation with her brother that changed the direction of her life Walking into a gym for the first time and feeling completely out of place How strength training gave her back not just her body, but her voice and her boundaries The two-and-a-half-year journey to her first bodybuilding stage Leaving a 10-year teaching career eight weeks before her first show The less-talked-about aftermath of bodybuilding - binge eating disorder, body dysmorphia, and the long road to food freedom Her memoir Beyond the Barbell - and why writing it felt like a second form of healing   This episode is for you if:   Have you ever pushed yourself far past your limits because stopping felt like failing You confuse being productive with being okay You have lost yourself in a role, a relationship, or a version of your life that no longer fits You want to hear an honest account of what recovery from burnout, disordered eating, and body image struggles actually looks like You need someone to remind you that putting yourself first is not selfish - it is survival   "I felt that I was lying to myself about who I was. And I wanted more from my life." - Natasha Costales To connect with your host, follow Me HERE:  Insta:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/rachel_unspokenemotions/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  TikTok:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠www.tiktok.com/@rachel.unspoken.em⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email: ⁠⁠⁠rachel@unspokenemotions.co.uk⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/rachel.elimelech⁠⁠   To Buy Rachel a Coffee: ⁠⁠https://buymeacoffee.com/unspokenemotions⁠⁠  LinkedIn: ⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachel-elimelech-a07a1a46/⁠⁠  HOST BIO   Rachel Elimelech is the warm, courageous voice behind Unspoken Emotions - a podcast that gives voice to the feelings we so often keep buried. A qualified Solicitor and Higher Court Advocate, Rachel combines professional insight with deeply personal lived experience - from surviving sexual abuse, loss, and single parenthood to rebuilding her life with quiet strength and unwavering resilience. Her journey from teenage single mum to respected legal professional has shaped her gift for deep connection. With empathy and authenticity, Rachel creates a safe, judgment-free space where guests are invited to speak the unspoken - grief, guilt, shame, anger, fear - and begin to let go of what no longer serves them. Through honest, unfiltered conversations, Unspoken Emotions explores how real people have turned pain into purpose and silence into healing. Rachel believes that healing begins the moment we speak the truth of our experiences - and that none of us should carry our emotions alone.