When “Being Nice” Turns Toxic (EP 113)

When Barb Nangle talks about boundaries, she’s not talking about controlling other people, she’s talking about finally realizing you have standards for your own life and you’re allowed to live by them. She shares how she went from “just dealing with whatever came at her” to saying no to things that drained her, limiting time with people who couldn’t respect her needs, and choosing sleep, health, and sanity over people-pleasing. We walk through her codependent bottom, inviting a homeless friend to stay “just to be nice” until she felt trapped in her own home, and how that moment pushed her into therapy, Al‑Anon, Codependents Anonymous, Adult Children of Alcoholics, and ultimately a trauma‑recovery path through ACA and Overeaters Anonymous. Barb opens up about losing over 100 pounds, ending one‑sided friendships, changing the way her team functioned at Yale, and finally ending up in the first truly healthy romantic relationship of her life because she learned to know herself, tell the truth, and hold boundaries even when it was scary. === Chapters 00:30 Boundaries and Safety 05:29 Learning My Limits 07:37 Hitting the Codependent Bottom 12:15 What Codependence Really Means 15:53 Recovery Beyond Addiction 19:39 Reparenting Through ACA 23:46 How Recovery Changed Others 30:55 Love After Healing 37:17 Ongoing Recovery Work === Guest: Barb Nangle, Higher Power Coaching & Consulting / Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12‑Step Recovery Website: https://higherpowercc.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/barbnangle Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/higherpowercoaching === Resources / Companies / Books / Podcasts Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12‑Step Recovery (podcast): https://higherpowercc.com/podcast Al‑Anon (Al‑Anon Family Groups): https://al-anon.org Codependents Anonymous (CODA): https://coda.org Adult Children of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families (ACA): https://adultchildren.org Alcoholics Anonymous (AA): https://www.aa.org Overeaters Anonymous (OA): https://oa.org === About the Unhealthy PodcastHosted by Marvin Bee (Uncle Marv), the Unhealthy Podcast dives into real conversations about health, wellness, and everyday habits that impact how we live, work, and age. From nutrition myths to stress management and tech-life balance, Uncle Marv brings humor, insight, and honesty to every episode.Visit our website: https://www.unhealthypodcast.com/ Connect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/iamunclemarvConnect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marvinbee/Follow and Subscribe: Stay updated with new episodes every week on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and more. Join the conversation about real-life health, fitness, and personal growth from the lens of an everyday guy striving to be healthier.