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The UNcivilized Podcast with Traver Boehm: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Traver Boehm
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- Yesterday18 min
EP 425 Sex Is Broken. Here's What to Do About It. | Traver Boehm
I've been sitting on this idea for years. I almost wrote an entire book about it before I wrote Man UNcivilized. Today I'm finally talking about it publicly — and yes, it's about sex. But it's really about a lot more than that.——The sexual paradigm most of us inherited is broken. I don't say that to be provocative. I say it because we have an Epstein list, telegram rooms where men share tips on how to drug their wives, and at the same time — people are having less sex than ever. Less connection. Less desire. That's not a coincidence. That's what happens when you max out on incoming sexual energy and have nowhere real to put it.I'm not here to fix the culture. I'm here to offer a different option — what I'm calling The UNcivilized Bedroom.In this solo episode, I walk through the three pillars of this framework: The Potential — how what you do in the bedroom can change your confidence, your business, and your life outside of it. The Foundation — why the secret to great sex has nothing to do with technique, and everything to do with whether or not you've done your own work. The Experience — what it actually looks and feels like when sex becomes intentional, consensual, and fully relational.This is a teaser. There's more coming — guest episodes, deeper conversations, and the first live event I'm hosting in Boulder in May, details below.——Join me in person on May 23 in Boulder for The UNcivilized Bedroom: www.manuncivilized.com/bedroom——Join The UNcivilized Nation — a brotherhood of men doing the work: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation——Connect with Traver: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm Substack: https://traverboehm.substack.com Website: https://www.manuncivilized.com00:00 The Uncivilized Bedroom: An Introduction00:56 The Broken Sexual Paradigm04:15 Consent05:03 The Layout05:19 The Potential09:29 The Foundation12:50 The Experience16:48 Wrap Up
- 1 weeks ago57 min
EP 424 – Walking the Path of Men | Chris Robbins
Most men spend decades chasing something they can't name — and by the time they figure out what it was, they've already lost everything trying to get it.That's the story Chris Robbins lived. Corporate career, seven restaurants, millions of dollars raised — and millions lost. A father he loved deeply — and could never quite reach. A life built entirely on the outside that was quietly collapsing within.In this conversation, Chris and I go deep on what it actually takes to wake up — not the motivational version, but the real one. The one that happens in a parking lot at 1am, finally realizing you never actually grieved the man who mattered most to you.We talk about the father wound — what it looks like when you realize your entire career was really just an attempt to get closer to your father — and what opens up when you finally see that. We get into grief, the kind men avoid for years because nobody taught us how to move through it. We talk about what it meant for Chris to step back from being the provider, become present for his kids, and how that shift — as humbling as it was — turned out to be the thing that changed everything.Chris is the founder of Soul Degree, a wilderness-based men's retreat and coaching program he's been running since 2017. He's a meditation guide, yoga teacher, breathwork facilitator, and End of Life Death Doula. He's also pursuing a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology — not because he has it figured out, but because he's still a student of this work. That comes through in every minute of this conversation.If you're a man who's been running hard and starting to wonder what the hell you've been running toward — this one's for you.——Ready to go deeper? Start here: https://www.manuncivilized.com/start——Connect with Chris: https://www.souldegree.com/Connect with Traver: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm Substack: https://traverboehm.substack.com Website: https://www.manuncivilized.comChapters:00:00 From Corporate Life to Soul Work04:25 Building an Empire, Losing Himself08:29 The Moment Everything Cracked Open14:26 Becoming a Father Changed Everything26:04 Why He Called It Soul Degree29:26 What Men Don't Know About Grief32:31 What Is the Soul, Actually?36:45 His Father, His Grief, and the Weight He Carried42:23 Family, Therapy, and Doing the Work45:18 Finding Himself on the Other Side51:09 For the Man Who Doesn't Know Where to Start54:41 Wrap-up & Connect with Chris
- 2 weeks ago1h 3m
EP 423 – The Sanctuary of the Soul | Kayla Nelson
What happens when your body becomes the battleground — and the only thing keeping you alive is a fraction of 1% that refuses to quit?Kayla Nelson spent years navigating chronic Lyme disease, tick-borne illness, and toxic mold while the Western medical system handed her nothing but dead ends. She lost her health, her finances, and almost everything else. What brought her back wasn't what the Western model had to offer. It was a radical treatment called Bee Venom Therapy — and something deeper she can only describe as soul.We get into the real mechanics of Bee Venom Therapy — what it is, how it works, and what it felt like the first time she stung herself with a live bee. We talk about what it means when your soul leaves the building, and how you know it's time to find your way back.From there, we dig into soul loss — not as a concept, but as something happening collectively right now across communities and culture. We talk about predatory energy — what it is, how it operates, and why most people aren't willing to name it. And we talk about the two responses most of us default to when we encounter it: freeze and fawn.Kayla speaks from a rare lens — she's not coming from a strictly biological framework or a strictly spiritual one. She moves between the two with precision, and this conversation reflects that. There's real medicine in this one.If something in this conversation moved you, share it with someone who needs it. And men — if you've been looking for structure, depth, and a community that does this work for real, come join us in The UNcivilized Nation –– https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation––Connect with Kayla: https://www.sagenourishment.comConnect with Traver: Website — https://www.manuncivilized.com Substack — https://traverboehm.substack.com Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm Get my books –– https://www.manuncivilized.com/books Mentioned in This Episode: Bayo Akomolafe on The UNcivilized Podcast — https://open.spotify.com/episode/0zZLZ9LYyfup07GaOykpRq Francis Weller on The UNcivilized Podcast — https://open.spotify.com/episode/4U0NDtdOv5bN1WcZUoUhSXGo Deeper: Two Predators — https://www.manuncivilized.com/blog/two-predatorsChapters:00:00 Introduction & The Desk That Connects Them00:29 Falling Mysteriously Ill: The Beginning of Kayla's Journey03:07 What Kept Her Going When Everything Was Falling Apart08:50 What Is Bee Venom Therapy? (And How It Actually Works)15:26 5,000 Stings Over 4 Years — The Numbers17:30 The First Sting and the Unexpected Calm21:09 Defining the Soul — A Felt Sense, Not a Concept25:26 "Your Soul Has Left the Building" — Traver's Story27:17 Soul Loss and the Collective Reckoning30:34 Building a 200-Year Life31:10 How to Actually Start: Sitting With Nature39:24 Collective Awakening vs. Collective Tension41:47 The Predator — From Biology to Mythology50:14 Freeze and Fawn: The Two Responses We're Waking Up Out Of54:53 The Duality of Predatory Energy in Men58:11 Soul as the Antidote to the Predator1:01:45 Wrap-up & Where to find Kayla
- 3 weeks ago58 min
EP 422 – I Hired a Male Escort | Coral Osborne
I found Coral Osborne through a Substack piece she wrote titled "I Hired a Male Escort" — and I'll be honest, the title got me. But it was what she unpacked inside it that made me want to get her on the show. Coral spent years as a closeted sex worker, and what she found in those rooms wasn't what most people assume. Men showed up without their masks on. There were clear boundaries. And the connection — strange as it sounds — was often more honest than anything she found in conventional dating.Then she hired a male escort. Not to collect an experience, but to find out what would happen if she stopped performing and just received. What came up surprised her — and became the essay that brought her to this show.Coral is a sexologist and intimacy coach who works with men at the intersection of identity, desire, and shadow. This conversation goes deep into the psychology of fantasy, the difference between what turns you on and what you actually want, and why so many men have gone completely numb — not just sexually, but in every area of their lives.We also get into why less than 14% of therapists in North America have any sexuality training, what your darkest fantasy actually says about you, and why the men who say "I don't really have fantasies" are the ones who can't hold a relationship past the two-year mark.If you've ever wondered what your sex life is actually telling you about yourself — this one's for you.Join The UNcivilized Nation: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation––Read Coral's essays: Part 1: https://substack.com/@coralosborne/p-190840262 Part 2: https://substack.com/@coralosborne/p-190843310Connect with Coral: Website: https://coralosborne.com Substack: https://substack.com/@coralosborne Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunrealcoralosborne/––Connect with Traver: Website: https://www.manuncivilized.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm/Get my books: https://www.manuncivilized.com/booksSubstack: https://traverboehm.substack.com Chapters:00:00 Introduction — Who Is Coral Osborne?02:58 From Sex Worker to Sexologist: How She Got Here06:01 Why She Hired a Male Escort (And What She Learned)11:44 What Men Actually Show Up As Behind Closed Doors17:56 Sex Is Shadow Work23:59 Fantasy vs. Desire — The Distinction That Changes Everything31:51 Your Fantasies Are a Map to Your Soul40:06 Why Therapists Are Getting This Wrong43:35 The Numbing Out Epidemic: When Men Lose Access to Eros55:44 Wrap up & Where to find Coral
- 4 weeks ago1h 11m
EP 421 – The Philosopher and The Warrior | Josh Tyler
Most men were told to pick a side. And most men have spent their whole lives half of what they could be because of it.Josh Tyler is a former professional MMA fighter, survival instructor, and the founder of Savage Gentleman. He believes the men who figure out how to hold both don't just become more capable — they become more of what they actually are.In this episode, we get into what men have lost by compartmentalizing their lives. We talk about why the way you roll on the mat is the same way you carve wood, raise your kids, and move through the world — and how a lot of men never connect those dots. We also get into confidence — how it's actually built, why shortcuts don't actually build anything, and what it actually looks like to earn it.We cover the three male archetypes showing up right now, including the one that's quietly becoming the most common. And we close talking about power — what it actually is, why so many men feel like they don't have any, and why that's an illusion that experience can shatter.If you've been doing the things but not becoming anything — this one's for you.––Join The UNcivilized Nation: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation Connect with Me: Instagram: @traverboehm Get my books: https://www.manuncivilized.com/books––Connect with Josh: savagegentleman.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joshtylermma/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/savagegentlemanofficial/Chapter List00:00 Introduction to Josh Tyler and Savage Gentlemen04:20 The Balance of Savage and Gentleman15:38 Depth and Nuance in Personal Development23:44 Life Lessons from Martial Arts and Survival Skills26:48 Cultural Shifts: From Meaningful Actions to Checkboxes27:48 The Journey Over the Destination: Embracing the Process32:46 The Riff on Confidence39:13 Male Archetypes: 19050s Marlboro Man, The Sensitive New Age Guy & The Collapsed Male40:44 Finding Your Path: Beyond Jiu-Jitsu and Bushcraft46:29 The Importance of Getting Dirty: Embracing Challenges48:00 Peak Experiences and Rites of Passage50:02 Navigating Corporate Worlds and Personal Validation53:24 Power & The Tension of Opposites59:12 Navigating Tension and Finding Balance01:03:38 The Illusion of Powerlessness and Perspective
- Apr 13, 202651 min
EP 420 - Why Most Men Are Still Stuck in Adolescence (And What Actually Changes That) | Jeddy Azuma
Most men were never actually initiated into manhood. Nobody stood on the other side and said — you're different now, here's what that means, here's what we expect from you. Most of us just got older. And thus, many men are still running the same adolescent software in a grown man's body.Rites of passage leader Jeddy Azuma is back on the podcast, and this conversation goes deep fast. Jeddy works with men on rites of passage and mature masculine leadership — he's guided over 100 men through wilderness fasts, and he's seen what happens when a man actually crosses a threshold versus when he just... keeps going through the motions. If you missed his first appearance, check it out — link in the show notes.In this episode, we get into what mature masculinity actually looks like. We talk about the difference between initiation and rites of passage, what it means to hold the dynamic tension of a full life without losing your center, and why the harshest voice in your head isn't motivation — it's immaturity wearing the mask of high performance.We also talk about the inner critic — how it forms, how it served you, and how to replace it without losing the standard it held you to. That part of the conversation hit me. Because most men don't question that voice. It's been there so long it just sounds like truth.Jeddy also shares what four days alone in the wilderness — no food, no shelter, no distraction — actually does to a man. What comes up. What gets left behind. And what the real work is when he comes home.We close talking about where community is headed — why Jeddy believes this large-scale civilization experiment is already in collapse, and why the future belongs to smaller, trust-based communities built around shared values.If you've ever felt like something essential got skipped in how you became a man — this one's for you.Join The UNcivilized Nation: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenationConnect with Me: Instagram: @traverboehm——Get my books: https://www.manuncivilized.com/books ——Connect with Jeddy: Instagram: @jeddyazuma Missed Jeddy's first appearance on the podcast? Check it out here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4qJjqeUgWjKUnGX1nxir9d?si=yMrreCykRay5dUsiuXdRCAChapter List 00:00 The Journey of Masculine Leadership01:03 Defining Immature Masculinity04:38 Holding Dynamic Tension10:48 The Inner Dialogue of Men11:58 The Importance of Initiation16:08 Rites of Passage vs. Initiation18:31 Rites of Passage & Initiation25:53 The Adolescent Male Experience27:55 What's the Point?30:24 The Wilderness Rite of Passage Process33:31 Transformation Through Initiation35:59 Connecting to the Soul42:57 Community and the Need for Trust48:20 The Future of Community Living
- Apr 6, 20261h 10m
EP 419 — The Woman Who Guided Me Through 49 Days of Darkness | Arpita Kshama Devi
If you've read 28 Days in Darkness or followed my journey into the dark rooms, you've heard her name. Arpita Kshama Devi was the guide on the other side of the door — for my first retreat in 2016, and again this past year when I went back in for 49 days. I've wanted to get her on the mic for years and we finally made it happen.——Arpita is a meditation teacher, dark retreat guide, yoga teacher trainer, and PhD researcher with 15+ years of guiding people through some of the most intense inner work available. She's been in my life for a decade, and this conversation goes exactly as deep as you'd expect.We talk about what it actually means to enter the dark, what she feels the moment she walks someone into a retreat, and why the spiritual path was never supposed to be easy — no matter what the wellness industry is selling you. We also get into the questions most practitioners won't touch: the integration of shadow, the erotic, and the parts of ourselves we've quietly exiled for the sake of looking like we have it together.She's one of the most fascinating humans I know. This one's been a long time coming.——Join The UNcivilized Nation — a brotherhood of men doing the work: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation——Get my books — including 28 Days in Darkness: https://www.manuncivilized.com/books——Learn more about Arpita and her retreats: https://loveevolveawaken.com Instagram: @love.evolve.awaken.yoga
- Apr 1, 20268 min
EP 418 — 8 Months Off the Mic (Why I Left and Why I'm Back)
I've been off the mic for eight months. Here's where I've been — and where we're going.——After 49 days alone in a pitch-black room in Tuscany last year, I came out a different man. Not better, not worse — different. And I knew I couldn't keep having the same conversations I'd been having for the last five years.In this episode, I'm sharing three ideas that came out of the dark — lenses I'm now using to navigate everything. OLSLAI — one life, soul led, all in. Dark adapted eyes — learning to see through the veil of your life while it's happening, not just in hindsight. And a third concept you can hear about in this episode that's going to help shape where this show goes from here.This is the relaunch. Same UNcivilized mission. Deeper water.——Want more conversations like this? Join me and a brotherhood of men doing the real work inside The UNcivilized Nation: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation——Referenced in this episode: Stephen Jenkinson on The UNcivilized Podcast: https://youtu.be/WnBp_AYNScQ——Get my books: https://www.manuncivilized.com/books——Find me here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TraverBoehm Substack: https://traverboehm.substack.comManUNcivilized.com ——#UNcivilized #BeMoreMan #OLSLAI #DarkAdaptedEyes #TheUNcivilizedPodcast #TraverBoehm #TheUNcivilizedNation
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About The UNcivilized Podcast with Traver Boehm
For people who see through the veil of the civilized paradigm.
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