201: This Is What Happens When You Finally Choose Yourself

In this raw birthday episode, Sabrina gets honest about the hidden cost of personal growth and what nobody warns you about when you actually start doing the work. From losing friends who only knew the old version of you, to grieving the identity you outgrew on purpose, to realizing success doesn't fix your insecurities or quiet your anxiety, this is the unfiltered truth about healing that the self-help world skips over. If you've ever wondered why your "best year ever" also feels like the loneliest, this episode explains exactly why, backed by Harvard research on identity loss during major life change. Tune in for an honest conversation about why healing isn't linear, why setting boundaries can push away people you love, why guilt shows up when you start choosing yourself, and how to sit in the uncomfortable in-between when your old life doesn't fit but your new one doesn't feel like yours yet. Plus, Sabrina shares a powerful Identity Inventory tool to track how far you've actually come, the "for now" reframe that interrupts catastrophic thinking, and why corrective experiences rewire your nervous system. Essential listening for anyone in their growth era, working through attachment patterns, navigating self-abandonment, or questioning whether they're doing this healing thing right. Sparkle outfit thanks to Hand Over Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026,⁠ "Why Am I Like This?"⁠ If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step  ⁠HERE!⁠ If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself ⁠HERE!⁠ Get Ad free ⁠HERE!⁠  Want to work with Sabrina? ⁠HERE!⁠  Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show ⁠HERE!⁠  Don't forget to follow ⁠Sabrina⁠ and ⁠The Sabrina Zohar Show⁠ on Instagram and ⁠Sabrina ⁠on TikTok! Video now available on ⁠YOUTUBE!⁠ Please support our sponsors! Our listeners can buy one prescription pair and get 20% off additional pairs at WarbyParker.com/SABRINA — and using our link helps support the show. ============================= Chapters: 00:00 The Hidden Cost of Growth 04:25 Why Growth Is So Lonely 09:29 Grieving Old Versions of You 14:21 Why Success Doesn't Fix You 17:46 Anxiety in Healthy Relationships 19:46 The For Now Reframe 21:48 Boundaries Hurt People You Love 23:07 Why Healing Isn't Linear 25:21 Sitting in the In-Between 26:40 Identity Inventory Tool Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices