291. The One Rule That Separates Great Leaders From Average Managers | Tyler Dickerhoof

What if the leadership trait you’re most proud of is the exact thing quietly breaking trust with your team? In this episode of the Learn-It-All™ podcast, Damon Lembi sits down with leadership coach and author of the book The Things We Hide, Tyler Dickerhoof, to unpack the one rule that separates great leaders from average managers: stop making leadership about proving yourself, and start making it about bringing out the best in other people. Tyler explains why first-time leaders need belief poured into them, why vulnerability builds credibility instead of weakening it, and why trying to be the smartest person in the room usually backfires. He also breaks down his BEST framework for leadership, the “four walls” of insecurity that sabotage connection, and why AI will only make human leadership, self-awareness, and authentic communication more valuable.If you’re leading through change, fighting impostor syndrome, managing team performance, navigating layoffs, or trying to become a more confident and emotionally intelligent leader, this conversation with Damon Lembi and Tyler Dickerhoof is packed with practical leadership advice you can use right away.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:How Tyler’s BEST framework starts with helping people understand what they’re uniquely great at, because “go do your best” is useless if nobody knows what their best actually looks like.Why leaders lose trust when they compete with their own team, and how better leadership means helping people raise their floor, find their ceiling, and serve others with their strengths.The shift from trying to be the smartest person in the room to becoming the kind of leader who makes other people feel smart, seen, valued, and worthy.Tyler’s four protective walls of insecurity: intensity, insensitivity, inactivity, and isolation, and how those patterns quietly block connection, trust, and real leadership.What Tyler means by “what you hide controls you, what you face transforms you,” and how authentic vulnerability can deepen relationships without turning into weakness or oversharing.How Tyler’s personal story and the message behind The Things We Hide are really about helping people realize they are not alone, and that the things they hide do not have to define how they lead.Timestamps00:00 Episode preview and introduction01:02 Why new leaders feel like they don’t belong02:56 The leadership indictment most bosses miss03:44 Why “just do your best” is terrible advice07:10 The fastest way to kill team trust09:17 The moment someone’s belief changed Tyler’s life13:30 The missing piece of leadership most people skip14:40 Why the lowest person in the room should speak first17:42 The pressure trap of trying to have all the answers20:04 How to make people feel smart instead of small22:13 What it feels like to stop proving yourself25:12 Why mindset is a daily reset, not a one-time fix29:58 The story Tyler hid for years33:13 The two questions nearly everyone is quietly asking37:59 How leaders should handle guilt after layoffs42:47 The baseball analogy that explains better leadership46:44 Why AI makes human leadership more important49:48 You have to do the work yourself, but not alone50:37 Why lone wolves usually aren’t as strong as they think54:26 What you hide controls you58:59 Can vulnerability make you look weak?01:02:34 The ultimate compliment Tyler hopes readers give him01:04:36 Where to connect with Tyler DickerhoofAbout Tyler DickerhoofTyler Dickerhoof is a leadership coach, speaker, podcast host, and the founder of Impact Driven Leader. He describes his mission as helping people build the self-awareness, tools, and community they need to lead with more authenticity, connection, and impact. He is also the author of The Things We Hide, a book focused on the fears, insecurities, and old wounds that shape how people show up in leadership, relationships, and life.Resources and MentionsThe Things We Hide book: https://www.tylerdickerhoof.com/bookTyler Dickerhoof’s website: https://www.tylerdickerhoof.com/Tyler Dickerhoof’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tylerdickerhoof/Tyler Dickerhoof’s Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/tyler_dickerhoof/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_bla