How to Tell the Difference Between a Boundary and Avoidance EP 117

Setting boundaries and protecting your peace has become a popular topic in personal development.  Alecia and Jonathan break down the real difference between a healthy boundary and boundary language that's actually just avoidance in disguise, and why getting that distinction wrong is costing you the relationships and results you actually want.  Join Podcast Club: Get behind the scenes access to every episode before anyone else hears it. Meet other listeners of the show and connect live with guests, Alecia's cohosts, and Alecia herself.  Episodes are recorded in front of a live virtual studio audience, then a private, unrecorded conversation opens up where you can share your thoughts, ask questions, go deeper on the topic, and even shape what gets covered next.  Get access at consciousedge.com/club.  Get Full Show Notes: www.consciousedge.com/ep117 Let’s Connect on Instagram: @aleciastg In this episode, Alecia St. Germain and her longtime co-host Jonathan Dugger dig into a phrase that's everywhere right now: "I'm setting a boundary and protecting my peace." They unpack what actually separates a boundary that's grounded in your values from language that's just avoidance wearing a boundary's clothes. Alecia gets honest about her own break from recording this podcast and whether that was a boundary or something else entirely. Jonathan brings the clinical lens, breaking down avoidance as a short-term, immediate reaction versus boundaries as long-term and value-driven. Together they get into ghosting, people-pleasing, the body's reaction the first time you set a real boundary, and a simple three-step process for knowing which one you're actually doing.  📝 What We Cover in This Episode: -How to tell if you're setting a boundary or just avoiding something uncomfortable -Why avoidance can start small and quietly grow into a much bigger pattern over time -What it means when your boundary is actually an attempt to control someone else's behavior -Why ghosting someone creates more anxiety for both people than an honest conversation would -The body sensation that shows up the first time you set a boundary that's actually healthy for you -A three-step process for checking your motive before you cut someone off or speak up -Why you can't help your initial emotional reaction, but you can choose your response