Are You Responding to Facts… or to Your Story About Them?

Editor’s note: We’re grateful for all our listeners. We’ve been offering some added “perks” for paid subscribers, and we have realized that most if not all of those subscribers pay because they want to support our work, not because they get exclusive access to content. So we are experimenting with making all of our content here available to all subscribers. Thank you, thank you, thank you, and if you find value in what we do, please share us with others and upgrade your subscription as you see fit with our deepest gratitude. We are making this change as we complete our tech move completely into our space here on King’s Chronicles.This week I recorded a shorter solo episode — not filler, not a placeholder — but something I believe we genuinely need to talk about.In the cultural, social, and political climate we’re living in right now, assumptions are doing real damage. We react quickly. We interpret confidently. And we rarely pause long enough to ask whether what we think we heard is actually what was said.In this episode, I share a simple puzzle that got me — and yes, even fooled me — along with a personal story from a recent interview that illustrates just how powerful (and costly) our hidden assumptions can be.It’s not abstract. It’s not academic. It’s practical.If you’ve ever:* Reacted strongly and later realized you misheard* Assumed someone’s intention… and been wrong* Held back your voice because of what you thought someone meantThen this one’s for you.Listen in. I think it may shift the way you experience your next conversation.Resources Mentioned* Butterfly Copywriting (Val Roskens Tews): https://donnking.com/butterfly* My books (including Creating While Caring): https://donnking.com/books* The puzzle image referenced in the episode (if you can’t see it where you’re listening to this, go to https://donnking.com/104)BONUS CONTENT1. The Big TakeawayThe most dangerous assumptions are the ones that feel obvious — because once something feels obvious, we stop questioning it.Awareness creates choice. And choice is where alignment begins.2. Bulleted Summary* Our brains are prediction machines. We complete stories automatically.* Visual and emotional framing guide interpretation more than we realize.* Even expertise in communication does not prevent assumptions — it may simply make us faster at making them.* Most conflicts are not about what was said, but about what was inferred.* The same words, interpreted differently, can create entirely different lived experiences.* Slowing down to clarify intent is not weakness — it is precision.3. Practical Tips* When you feel a strong reaction, ask: What part of this is observable fact, and what part is my interpretation?* Replace “I know what you meant” with “Help me understand what you meant.”* Before withdrawing or escalating, pause and ask: Is this inferred or confirmed?* Notice emotional certainty. The stronger the certainty, the more valuable the pause.* In meetings or difficult conversations, clarify intent explicitly rather than assuming tone.4. Quote to Ponder“The most dangerous assumptions are the ones that feel obvious.”or“The goal isn’t perfection. It’s awareness. And once you have awareness, you have choice.”5. Article Version (Blog-Style Episode Write-Up)The Assumption You Didn’t Know You MadeIn this solo episode of The Alignment Show, I explore something deceptively simple but profoundly consequential: the assumptions we don’t realize we’re making.In a world moving at high speed — culturally, socially, politically — we’re reacting quickly and interpreting confidently. But how often do we stop to ask whether what we believe we heard is actually what was said?A Puzzle That Revealed More Than I ExpectedI came across a graphic showing two people trapped on a rope bridge between two tigers, with sharks circling below. The caption read:“Every problem has a solution — how can both escape safely?”Most of us instantly assume “both” refers to the two humans.So did I.So did Lizzie — my name for ChatGPT.And that’s what made it fascinating.The question never specified “both humans.” It simply said “both.” One commenter pointed out that after the tigers eat the humans, the two tigers both escape safely.Dark? Yes.Accurate? Also yes.The lesson wasn’t about survival tactics. It was about how quickly our minds fill in missing meaning.Why Even Experts Ge