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by Donn King
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I wasn’t quite sure what to expect going into this conversation with Matthew Check, but I knew it would be interesting.What I didn’t expect was just how layered it would be.Matthew is a musician-turned-author whose memoir, What Would Philip Roth Do?, weaves together love, identity, creativity, and a fair amount of humor. But what stayed with me after our conversation wasn’t just the story itself. It was the process behind it—the discipline, the vulnerability, and the willingness to tell the truth even when it would be easier not to.We talked about what it means to write honestly, how creativity actually works (hint: it’s not always inspiration), and why memoir is less about recording events and more about making sense of them.There’s also something deeper running through all of this. Matthew’s story—whether he’s talking about bluegrass music, relationships, or imagined conversations with Philip Roth—keeps circling back to identity. Who am I? How did I get here? And what do I do with that truth once I see it clearly?If you’ve ever wrestled with your own story, or wondered whether it’s worth telling, I think you’ll find something here.Resources Mentioned* Matthew Check’s website* What Would Philip Roth Do? * Matthew Check on Spotify and Apple Music (linked from his website)* Bright Eyes: Surviving Our Monsters and Learning to Live Without Them by Bridey Thelen Heidel (mentioned in conversation)* Philip Roth’s booksThe Big TakeawayTelling your story honestly is less about getting every detail right and more about having the courage to say, “This is how I see my life,” and standing behind it.Bulleted Summary* Memoir is crafted, not just remembered. It requires shaping events into meaning* Creativity isn’t only inspiration; it’s also discipline, repetition, and showing up* Humor can open the door to truth, especially in painful or vulnerable moments* A good editor goes beyond fixing your writing to helping you discover what you’re really saying* Identity often reveals itself through unexpected connections (like bluegrass and Jewish heritage)* Writing a memoir forces a deeper question: “Am I willing to be this honest in public?”Practical Tips* Don’t wait for inspiration. Build a habit of showing up consistently* Find an editor or collaborator who understands your voice, not just your grammar* Write freely first; decide later what stays and what goes* Use humor where it naturally arises. It can make difficult truths more accessible* Engage with other writers or creators. You’re more likely to find the right collaborators that way* If you’re telling your own story, focus on meaning, not just chronologyQuote to Ponder“I really do want to make a statement about how I see my life and what happened.”When Your Life Becomes the MaterialIn this episode of The Alignment Show, I sat down with Matthew Check to talk about his memoir, What Would Philip Roth Do? But the conversation quickly moved beyond the book itself.At its core, this is a conversation about what it means to take your own life seriously enough to shape it into a story.Matthew didn’t set out to write a book. He started with a writing class, working through exercises, trying to figure out what he had to say. Over time, something began to emerge: a pattern connecting his love of music, his relationships, and his search for identity.The book took shape slowly, over years, through revision, reflection, and a lot of back-and-forth with his editor.The Myth of the Solo WriterOne of the more refreshing parts of this conversation was Matthew’s honesty about the writing process.There’s a common assumption that writers sit alone, produce something brilliant, and send it off into the world. That wasn’t his experience at all.His editor played a central role—not just refining the writing, but helping him discover what the story actually was.Sometimes that meant pushing him to go deeper. Sometimes it meant pulling him back. Either way, it was a collaborative process.It’s a good reminder that writing, even when it’s deeply personal, is rarely a solo act.Creativity: Inspiration vs. DisciplineMatthew’s background as a musician added another layer to the conversation.Songwriting, for him, often comes in bursts of inspiration. A melo
Some conversations stay with you long after the recording ends. This was one of them.In this episode of The Alignment Show, I talk with Mia Godfrey—life coach, speaker, and author of Buried, Not Broken: A Memoir of Survival, Sisterhood, and Starting Over. Mia grew up in Romania during the communist regime, immigrated to the United States, and later walked through the devastating loss of her sister.What began as a promise between two sisters eventually became a memoir about resilience, healing, and the courage to reclaim your voice.We talk about grief, identity, and the surprising ways writing can help us process life’s hardest moments. Mia shares how her sister’s encouragement led her to write their story, even though she initially resisted the idea. Along the way, we explore how painful experiences can sometimes become the soil where new growth begins.One of the ideas that struck me most was something Mia’s mother used to say:“They tried to bury us, but they didn’t know we were seeds.”That image captures the spirit of this conversation perfectly.If you’ve ever wondered whether your hardest chapters might someday become part of a meaningful story, I think you’ll find Mia’s journey worth hearing.Resources Mentioned* Buried, Not Broken: A Memoir of Survival, Sisterhood, and Starting Over by Mia Godfrey* Creating While Caring by Donn King* Toastmasters InternationalThe Big TakeawaySometimes the experiences that feel like they are burying us are actually planting the roots that allow us to grow stronger, clearer, and more aligned with who we really are.Bulleted Summary* Mia grew up in Romania during the communist regime, where scarcity and fear shaped daily life.* Her sister Mona encouraged her to write their story shortly before Mona’s death from cancer in 2023.* Writing the memoir became part of Mia’s healing process after deep grief and loss.* The book’s structure reflects how memory actually works—more like a patchwork quilt than a straight timeline.* Mia learned to embrace her identity, accent, and story rather than trying to hide them to fit in.* Her message today focuses on helping people—especially those over forty—rediscover purpose and step into their next chapter.Practical Tips* Write before you’re ready. Journaling can uncover insights and healing you didn’t expect.* Share your story gradually. Even showing one page to a trusted person can be a powerful step forward.* Reframe adversity. Instead of asking “Why did this happen?” consider “What can grow from this?”* Embrace your identity. The things you once tried to hide may become the very things that help others.* Look for the next chapter. Life transitions after forty can be a time of clarity rather than crisis.Quote to Ponder“They tried to bury us, but they didn’t know we were seeds.”If you prefer reading over listening, here is an article version of our conversation.When the Hardest Chapters Become the Soil for GrowthIn this episode of The Alignment Show, I talk with Mia Godfrey about resilience, identity, and what it means to rebuild life after profound loss.Mia is a life coach, speaker, and the author of Buried, Not Broken. Her story begins in Romania during the communist era, where poverty, fear, and scarcity shaped everyday life. Yet even in those conditions, she remembers her childhood home as a place filled with love, laughter, and resilience.Her mother had a remarkable way of reframing hardship. Even when food was scarce and families stood in line for hours for a small ration of bread, she reminded her children that they were still rich in what mattered most: family, faith, and community.That mindset would become one of the foundations of Mia’s life.A Promise Between SistersYears later, Mia’s sister Mona was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.During Mona’s illness, the two sisters began writing down stories from their childhood—memories they had once promised to keep secret. Mona believed their story might help others facing hardship.After Mona passed away in 2023, Mia initially put the journals away and intended never to open them again.Grief, however, has its own way of reshaping our direction.Encouraged by a therapist and her husband, Mia eventually returned to the pages she had written. What began as private journaling slowly became something larger: a memoir.<
Editor’s note: We’re grateful for all our listeners. We’ve been offering some added “perks” for paid subscribers, and we have realized that most if not all of those subscribers pay because they want to support our work, not because they get exclusive access to content. So we are experimenting with making all of our content here available to all subscribers. Thank you, thank you, thank you, and if you find value in what we do, please share us with others and upgrade your subscription as you see fit with our deepest gratitude. We are making this change as we complete our tech move completely into our space here on King’s Chronicles.This week I recorded a shorter solo episode — not filler, not a placeholder — but something I believe we genuinely need to talk about.In the cultural, social, and political climate we’re living in right now, assumptions are doing real damage. We react quickly. We interpret confidently. And we rarely pause long enough to ask whether what we think we heard is actually what was said.In this episode, I share a simple puzzle that got me — and yes, even fooled me — along with a personal story from a recent interview that illustrates just how powerful (and costly) our hidden assumptions can be.It’s not abstract. It’s not academic. It’s practical.If you’ve ever:* Reacted strongly and later realized you misheard* Assumed someone’s intention… and been wrong* Held back your voice because of what you thought someone meantThen this one’s for you.Listen in. I think it may shift the way you experience your next conversation.Resources Mentioned* Butterfly Copywriting (Val Roskens Tews): https://donnking.com/butterfly* My books (including Creating While Caring): https://donnking.com/books* The puzzle image referenced in the episode (if you can’t see it where you’re listening to this, go to https://donnking.com/104)BONUS CONTENT1. The Big TakeawayThe most dangerous assumptions are the ones that feel obvious — because once something feels obvious, we stop questioning it.Awareness creates choice. And choice is where alignment begins.2. Bulleted Summary* Our brains are prediction machines. We complete stories automatically.* Visual and emotional framing guide interpretation more than we realize.* Even expertise in communication does not prevent assumptions — it may simply make us faster at making them.* Most conflicts are not about what was said, but about what was inferred.* The same words, interpreted differently, can create entirely different lived experiences.* Slowing down to clarify intent is not weakness — it is precision.3. Practical Tips* When you feel a strong reaction, ask: What part of this is observable fact, and what part is my interpretation?* Replace “I know what you meant” with “Help me understand what you meant.”* Before withdrawing or escalating, pause and ask: Is this inferred or confirmed?* Notice emotional certainty. The stronger the certainty, the more valuable the pause.* In meetings or difficult conversations, clarify intent explicitly rather than assuming tone.4. Quote to Ponder“The most dangerous assumptions are the ones that feel obvious.”or“The goal isn’t perfection. It’s awareness. And once you have awareness, you have choice.”5. Article Version (Blog-Style Episode Write-Up)The Assumption You Didn’t Know You MadeIn this solo episode of The Alignment Show, I explore something deceptively simple but profoundly consequential: the assumptions we don’t realize we’re making.In a world moving at high speed — culturally, socially, politically — we’re reacting quickly and interpreting confidently. But how often do we stop to ask whether what we believe we heard is actually what was said?A Puzzle That Revealed More Than I ExpectedI came across a graphic showing two people trapped on a rope bridge between two tigers, with sharks circling below. The caption read:“Every problem has a solution — how can both escape safely?”Most of us instantly assume “both” refers to the two humans.So did I.So did Lizzie — my name for ChatGPT.And that’s what made it fascinating.The question never specified “both humans.” It simply said “both.” One commenter pointed out that after the tigers eat the humans, the two tigers both escape safely.Dark? Yes.Accurate? Also yes.The lesson wasn’t about survival tactics. It was about how quickly our minds fill in missing meaning.Why Even Experts Ge
We’ve all had that moment.You walk away from a conversation thinking, How did that blow up so fast? Or worse, That’s not what I meant at all.In this episode of The Alignment Show, I sit down with Dr. Patricia Timerman Barbosa da Silva (known simply as Dr. T) to talk about what really happens between intention and perception.We recorded this conversation some months ago, and while a few references are time-stamped, the insights are anything but. What she shares here is timeless and deeply practical.Dr. T introduces what she calls the IAP Model — Intention, Action, Perception — a framework that helps explain why so many conflicts aren’t actually about the issue at hand. They’re about the gap between what we intend, what we do, and how it is received.If you’ve ever said, “You should have known what I meant,” this conversation may change how you approach your next difficult conversation.We explore:* Why silence rarely means what we assume it means* How “you always” and “you never” quietly escalate conflict* Why actions only “speak louder than words” when intentions are clear* How to interrupt destructive patterns before they spiralDr. T brings both clinical expertise and lived experience. She’s candid about how many of these insights were born inside her own marriage. That honesty makes the conversation feel real rather than theoretical.This one isn’t abstract. It’s actionable.About Dr. TDr. Patricia Timerman Barbosa da Silva is a psychotherapist, author, and founder of Advocate2Create. In her book Why Are We Fighting?, she introduces the IAP Model—Intention, Action, Perception—which she describes as a kind of “Google Translate” for human communication.With more than 12 years of experience, she specializes in grief, trauma, and couples therapy. She also conducts clinical evaluations for immigration cases, combining her mental health expertise with her background in immigration law.Resources Mentioned* Why Are We Fighting? by Dr. Patricia Timerman Barbosa da Silva* Advocate2Create, a website dedicated to Dr. T’s insights.* Rule of Three Interpretations training* The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman* Relationship Revival podcast* Donn’s books* Work with Donn to publish your bookYou can find shownotes for this episode and links to all our channels at https://DonnKing.com/103.Remember that we have moved our home over to our new site at TheAlignmentShow.com. We encourage you to subscribe there!If you get value from the show, consider supporting us through Buy Me a Coffee. You can make a one-time contribution or sign up for regular support. Your support helps me continue helping you and others, and thank you in advance!You can also subscribe on Substack for free OR upgrade to a paid subscription to receive the following bonus material for each episode:* The “Big Takeaway”* A bulleted summary of the episode* Practical tips from the episode* A quote to ponder* Prefer text? We turn each podcast into an article.Plus, Founding Members receive ebook copies of all my books as well as a sponsorship message on the podcast at least once a month.That’s our way for saying “thanks for the support!”Note: if you accidentally subscribe on ConfidenceCultivators.com (which used to host the show), I will comp you the equivalent subscription on King’s Chronicles, the new home of The Alignment Show. Get full access to The Confidence Cultivator at confidencecultivator.substack.com/subscribe This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href="https://kingschronicles.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast
I’ve learned over the years that the most meaningful conversations often start with shared experience rather than shared credentials. This one did.In this episode of The Alignment Show, I sit down with Steve Friedman, an author, speaker, and longtime corporate leader who spent decades navigating professional life as an introvert before reinventing his work around writing, speaking, and supporting families affected by Down syndrome.Steve and I talk about masking, energy management, leadership, caregiving, and what it means to stretch your comfort zone without losing yourself in the process. We explore why introversion is so often misunderstood, how corporate culture rewards the loudest voices, and what changes when you finally stop pretending to be someone you’re not.This conversation isn’t about quick fixes or personal branding. It’s about authenticity, sustainability, and learning to live and work in ways that actually fit who you are.If you’ve ever felt worn out by performing a version of yourself that doesn’t quite feel true, I think you’ll find something here worth sitting with.What part of this conversation felt uncomfortably familiar to you? Share in the comments!Remember that you can find shownotes for this episode and links to all our channels at https://DonnKing.com/102.Resources mentioned in this episode include:* Beyond Introversion, Steve Friedman’s site focused on introversion in professional and corporate settings, including articles, workshops, and books. (Site may have been discontinued, but I’m leaving the link here in case it comes back up. https://beyondintroversion.com.)* Beyond Down Syndrome, Steve Friedman’s resource hub for families and individuals affected by Down syndrome, covering different life stages, education, independence, and advocacy. https://beyonddownsyndrome.net* Steve’s LinkedIn, the primary social platform for connecting with Steve professionally.* Steve Friedman’s Books on Amazon, the place to find his published books on introversion and Down syndrome.* The Corporate Introvert, Steve’s book focused on navigating meetings, leadership, and networking as an introvert in corporate environments.* In Search of Courage: An Introvert’s Story, Steve’s first book, centered on personal reflection, career, and introversion.* Creating While Caring by Donn King.* All of Donn’s books.* Butterfly Copywriting, one of our sponsors.Remember that we have moved our home over to our new site at TheAlignmentShow.com. We encourage you to subscribe there!If you get value from the show, consider supporting us through Buy Me a Coffee. You can make a one-time contribution or sign up for regular support. Your support helps me continue helping you and others, and thank you in advance!You can also subscribe on Substack for free OR upgrade to a paid subscription to receive the following bonus material for each episode:* The “Big Takeaway”* A bulleted summary of the episode* Practical tips from the episode* A quote to ponder* Prefer text? We turn each podcast into an article.Plus, Founding Members receive ebook copies of all my books as well as a sponsorship message on the podcast at least once a month.That’s our way for saying “thanks for the support!”Note: if you accidentally subscribe on ConfidenceCultivators.com (which used to host the show), I will comp you the equivalent subscription on King’s Chronicles, the new hom
This is the first episode of The Alignment Show for 2026, and it’s a solo one.I wanted to start the year by speaking honestly about why consistency broke down over the past year, what that cost, and what it’s taken to begin rebuilding. This isn’t an episode about productivity hacks or polished plans. It’s about grief, caregiving, creative identity, and what it means to keep choosing alignment when control turns out to be mostly an illusion.In this episode, I talk about why I shifted the show to an audio-first rhythm, how I’m rethinking what support really means on Substack, and why writing has to remain central for me, even when everything else slows down. If you’ve ever had a season where “just showing up” felt like the only honest win, this conversation is for you.We really are all about community here. Thanks for showing up.Because of the nature of this episode, we didn’t mention sponsors in the audio. But if you would like to support the show, check out these resources.* My books can all be found at DonnKing.com/Books. You might want to bookmark that, since I have several in process. The latest published one is Creating While Caring, and soon there will be a companion book of devotionals for caregivers. Yet another book in that grouping is also in process, a reflective nonfiction book about formation, constraint, and the limits of control.* I’m considering helping to start an online support group specifically for creative people who find themselves now in a caregiving role. Your response will help me decide whether to pursue that or not. Go to DonnKing.com/CreatingCareCommunity.* We would really appreciate it if you would share this episode and this publication with your friends. Find everything about The Alignment Show and the regular supportive content we provide at King’s Chronicles on Substack.Remember that we have moved our home over to our new site at TheAlignmentShow.com. We encourage you to subscribe there!If you get value from the show, consider supporting us through Buy Me a Coffee. You can make a one-time contribution or sign up for regular support. Your support helps me continue helping you and others, and thank you in advance!You can also subscribe on Substack for free OR upgrade to a paid subscription to receive the following bonus material for each episode:* The “Big Takeaway”* A bulleted summary of the episode* Practical tips from the episode* A quote to ponder* Prefer text? We turn each podcast into an article.Plus, Founding Members receive ebook copies of all my books as well as a sponsorship message on the podcast at least once a month.That’s our way for saying “thanks for the support!”Note: if you accidentally subscribe on ConfidenceCultivators.com (which used to host the show), I will comp you the equivalent subscription on King’s Chronicles, the new home of The Alignment Show. Get full access to The Confidence Cultivator at confidencecultivator.substack.com/subscribe This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kingschronicles.substack.com/subscribe
Rachael Herron returns to The Alignment Show, and as always, she brings a mix of honesty, wisdom, and grounded joy to the conversation. We talk about her new novel The Seven Miracles of Beatrix Holland and how writing it pulled her deeper into a long-running personal theme—letting go of control. We explore what happens when a story arrives before the plan does, why “mission” matters more than “goals,” and how creative work shifts when you stop writing to please the market and start writing from alignment.Along the way, we get into traditional vs. indie publishing, the surprising ways readers find niche work, and how a lifetime in 911 dispatch gave her an unusual brain for the unexpected plot twist.Whether you’re a writer, a creative professional, or anyone trying to live in closer alignment with your values, this conversation offers a steadying mix of humor, insight, and permission to trust the thing that calls to you.Remember that you can find shownotes for this episode and links to all our channels at https://DonnKing.com/100.Resources mentioned in this episode include:* Our sponsor, Butterfly Copywriting. Check it out at https://DonnKing.com/Butterfly.* Donn King’s books. Find out about his latest and all his others at https://DonnKing.com/Books.* NEW: Find books featured by guests of The Alignment Show.* Rachael’s main website: RachaelHerron.com.* Rachael’s Patreon with tons of resources.* Rachael on Instagram.* Rachael’s latest book, The Seven Miracles of Beatrix Holland.* Ink in Your Veins, Rachael’s phenomenal podcast, on Apple and on Spotify.You can find Rachael’s earlier episodes here:and here:Remember that we have moved our home over to our new site at TheAlignmentShow.com. We encourage you to subscribe there!If you get value from the show, consider supporting us through Buy Me a Coffee. You can make a one-time contribution or sign up for regular support. Your support helps me continue helping you and others, and thank you in advance!You can also subscribe on Substack for free OR upgrade to a paid subscription to receive the following bonus material for each episode:* The “Big Takeaway”* A bulleted summary of the episode* Practical tips from the episode* A quote to ponder* Prefer text? We turn each podcast into an article.Plus, Founding Members receive ebook copies of all my books as well as a sponsorship message on the podcast at least once a month.That’s our way for saying “thanks for the support!”Note: if you accidentally subscribe on ConfidenceCultivators.com (which used to host the show), I will comp you the equivalent subscription on King’s Chronicles, the new home of The Alignment Show. Get full access to The Confidence Cultivator at confidencecultivator.substack.com/subscribe This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kingschronicles.substack.com/subscribe
What does it take to stand out in a noisy world without becoming a caricature of yourself? In this conversation, marketing expert and bestselling author David Newman, CSP, joins me to talk about the real work behind visibility, credibility, and building a business rooted in who you actually are. We dig into why personal brands now matter more than company brands, how to double down on your human strengths in the age of AI, and why the most successful people aren’t chasing every opportunity—they’re aligning with their values.If you’ve ever wondered how to be seen without being fake, or how to build a reputation that actually serves the people you care about, you’ll want to listen to this one.Resources mentioned in this episode include:* Our sponsor, Butterfly Copywriting. Check it out at https://DonnKing.com/Butterfly.* Donn King’s books. Find out about his latest and all his others at https://DonnKing.com/Books.* David Newman’s main website at DoItMarketing.com.* David’s new book and related materials at MarketEminence.com. Note: special price right now and lots of support materials.* David on LinkedIn.Remember that we have moved our home over to our new site at TheAlignmentShow.com. We encourage you to subscribe there!If you get value from the show, consider supporting us through Buy Me a Coffee. You can make a one-time contribution or sign up for regular support. Your support helps me continue helping you and others, and thank you in advance!You can also subscribe on Substack for free OR upgrade to a paid subscription to receive the following bonus material for each episode:* The “Big Takeaway”* A bulleted summary of the episode* Practical tips from the episode* A quote to ponder* Prefer text? We turn each podcast into an article.Plus, Founding Members receive ebook copies of all my books as well as a sponsorship message on the podcast at least once a month.That’s our way for saying “thanks for the support!”Note: if you accidentally subscribe on ConfidenceCultivators.com (which used to host the show), I will comp you the equivalent subscription on King’s Chronicles, the new home of The Alignment Show. Get full access to The Confidence Cultivator at confidencecultivator.substack.com/subscribe This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kingschronicles.substack.com/subscribe
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