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by Laura Richards
Welcome to "That's Where I'm At" with your host, Laura Richards! Join Laura Richards, a survivor of narcissistic abuse with 33 years experience, as she guides you through the journey of identifying, healing from, and thriving after emotional and psychological abuse. With a mission to raise awareness, foster emotional recovery, and empower you to love yourself, Laura brings honesty, compassion, and a touch of humor to every episode. Dive into deep, meaningful conversations, tackle tough topics, and uncover moments of hope and healing. Our supportive community is here for you, offering insights, support, and a shared path to recovery and empowerment. Subscribe now and be part of a transformative journey that's messy, real, and truly inspiring!
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- 4 days ago52 min
EP 99: Shattering Silence: Darlene Lekowski's Journey from Pain to Purpose and Advocacy
In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Darlene Lekowski, an Amazon bestselling author, motivational speaker, and business leader who transformed decades of silence into a powerful platform for truth, healing, and advocacy. Darlene shares how she endured sibling sexual trauma and abuse from two brothers between the ages of 7 and 12, carrying the experience in silence for 50 years due to shame and threats. After finding her voice and revealing the truth in 2021, Darlene faced a civil lawsuit brought against her by one of her brothers and ultimately prevailed in the case in 2024. She shares how therapy, writing, and speaking helped her navigate her healing journey and reclaim her voice. Her memoir, Shattering Silence: A Story of Survival, Justice and the Power of Telling the Truth, became an Amazon Best Seller and #1 New Release in multiple categories and is available in print, ebook, and audiobook narrated in her own voice. Today, Darlene speaks to corporate, leadership, and survivor audiences, encouraging others to let go of the silence, reclaim their voice, and Live Forward with courage, resilience, and agency. Key Topics & Timestamps Podcast Introduction Host Laura introduces the podcast's mission to break the silence around women's stories and promote healing through sharing. Content Warning A brief warning is given to listeners about potentially triggering subjects discussed in the episode. Introducing Darlene Markowski The host introduces guest Darlene Markowski, an author and speaker who survived sibling sexual trauma and abuse. Why Darlene Broke Her Silence Darlene explains why she kept her abuse a secret for 50 years, citing shame and threats from her brothers. The Impact of Trauma Darlene discusses living with undiagnosed C-PTSD and how trauma manifested throughout her life, leading to control and perfectionism. Survival Strategies as a Child Darlene shares the strategies she developed as a child to survive, such as becoming a tomboy and being athletic. The Catalyst for Speaking Out After her mother's death, a text argument with her brother Don led to Darlene finally revealing the abuse. First Disclosures of Abuse Darlene recounts the first times she told anyone about the abuse, including her boyfriend at 17 and friends. The Prevalence of Sibling Sexual Abuse Darlene highlights how common sibling sexual abuse is, emphasizing the need for parents to talk to their children. Telling Her Children Darlene shares her fear of telling her children about the abuse and their surprisingly understanding and supportive reaction. Confronting Her Brothers Darlene describes confronting both of her abusive brothers, one of whom initially confessed before recanting his statement. The Defamation Lawsuit Her brother Don sues Darlene for defamation after she reveals the abuse, leading to a two-and-a-half-year legal battle. The Trial and Verdict Darlene recounts the six-day trial where a jury unanimously found her truthful, winning both her case and countersuit. The Healing Journey Darlene realizes the legal victory didn't heal her, prompting her to write her book and focus on releasing her anger. Finding the Right Support The importance of finding trauma-informed therapy, joining survivor groups, and exploring various healing modalities is discussed. Darlene's Advocacy Work Dar
- 1 weeks ago56 min
EP 98: From Silence to Strength: Christine's Journey Through Coercive Control, Gaslighting, and Healing
In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Christine, author of The Truth She Showed Me, her personal story of surviving 17 years of coercive control and gaslighting. Christine is also the Director of a Fortune 500 company and holds an MBA, yet behind the success and accomplishments, she endured years of manipulation, isolation, and abuse that were invisible to those around her. Christine shares her journey from silence to speaking out, describing the early warning signs, escalating control, and trauma bond that kept her trapped. She reflects on the healing process, the importance of naming abuse, and how writing her book helped validate the experiences of others. Together, Laura and Christine emphasize that coercive control doesn't have a look, leaving is complex, healing is possible, and breaking the silence around abuse is essential. Key Topics & Timestamps Creating Awareness Through Shared Stories Christine discusses creating a movement of awareness around coercive control through sharing stories and videos to help people self-diagnose. Podcast Introduction Host Laura introduces the "That's Where I'm At" podcast, its purpose, and her personal experience with a narcissist. Content Warning A brief content warning is given, advising listeners that the episode may contain potentially triggering subjects. Guest Introduction: Christine Laura introduces her guest, Christine, author of "The Truth," who survived a 17-year marriage involving coercive control and gaslighting. Why Christine Started Speaking Out Christine explains her journey started with silence and nonverbal therapy, then moved to journaling to validate her experiences for her children. The Power of Naming Your Pain The discussion covers how naming the abuse (e.g., gaslighting, DARVO) empowers survivors and helps them begin the healing process. Planning a Safe Exit Laura and Christine emphasize the importance of leaving an abusive relationship quietly and strategically, highlighting the increased danger during separation. Christine's Story: The Beginning Christine shares how she met her ex-husband at 23, the quick progression of their relationship, and early red flags. The Start of Isolation Christine recounts an early incident where her husband demanded she not discuss their marital problems with her parents, beginning her isolation. Reaching Out for Help Christine describes a terrifying night when she reached out to her sister-in-law for help, only to be told not to involve her. Living with a Volatile Temper Christine details her ex-husband's intense, unpredictable temper, which could be triggered by anything and kept her constantly on edge. Testing the Waters with Friends After leaving, Christine began sharing small details with friends and family to gauge their reactions and combat her self-doubt. A Public Confrontation Christine recalls a time her ex-husband publicly screamed at her in a bar for not answering her phone, which he hadn't even called. The Post-Divorce Glow Up The conversation turns to the physical and emotional transformation survivors experience after leaving an abusive relationship, like having "sad eyes" disappear. Abusers Playing the Victim They discuss how abusers refuse to acknowledge their behavior, often twisting the narrative to portray themselves as the victim. The Final Straw Christine shares the moment she realized her situation would never change and began planning her
- 2 weeks ago1h 17m
EP 97: When Family Court Fails: Hope Hooton's Fight to Protect Children
In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Hope Hooton, an author, advocate, podcast host, and public speaker dedicated to protecting children and supporting survivors of domestic violence. Hope shares her devastating experience with domestic violence and coercive control and recounts how the family court system failed to protect her children, Alec and Lydia, ultimately leading to their tragic deaths at the hands of their father in May 2024. Despite unimaginable grief, Hope transformed her pain into advocacy, helping champion the Alec and Lydia Act, which was signed into law in Arizona in June 2026 to strengthen protections for children and domestic violence survivors in family court. Through her memoir, There's Still Hope: A Journey of Adversity, Tragedy, and Unshakable Faith, and her podcast Voices Against Filicide, Hope raises awareness about coercive control, filicide prevention, and the need for stronger child safety protections. She also shares her message of faith, hope, and resilience through speaking engagements across the country, using her experience to inspire others and help prevent future tragedies. Key Topics & Timestamps Defining Filicide Hope defines filicide, the intentional act of a parent killing their child, and shares statistics on this silent epidemic. Podcast Introduction Host Laura introduces the "That's Where I'm At" podcast, its mission, and provides a content warning for listeners. Guest Introduction: Hope Hooten Laura introduces her guest, Hope Hooten, an author and advocate, and reads her biography, highlighting her mission for change. Meeting Her Estranged Husband Hope shares her background, how she met her estranged husband through a Christian organization, and the first red flags. Early Red Flags Hope discusses early red flags in the relationship, including subtle manipulation, coercive control, and his explosive bursts of anger. Moving to Arizona and Marriage Hope recounts moving to Arizona for a teaching job, getting married, and the subtle control her husband exerted during wedding planning. The Birth of Alec Hope describes her first child, Alec, his personality, his severe allergies, and how the parenting responsibilities were primarily hers. The Birth of Lydia Hope talks about the birth of her daughter, Lydia, her personality, and the close bond she shared with her brother, Alec. Escalation of Abuse After Lydia's birth, the physical violence began, including being punched in the car in front of the children. Losing Both Parents Hope discusses the immense grief of losing both her parents within months and the subsequent increase in financial and emotional abuse. The Decision to Separate Hope explains why she decided to separate, realizing she and her children deserved better than a life filled with abuse. The Suicide Threat When Hope told her husband she wanted a divorce, he threatened to kill himself in front of their children. Police Intervention and Separation Hope calls 911. Police intervene, her husband is taken for evaluation, and she gets an order of protection. The Psychiatric Break Her husband has a psychiatric break, tries to enter the home, and leaves disturbing voicemails, violating the protection order. The Hotel Incident Her husband calls 911 on himself from a hotel, admitting to suicidal and homicidal ideations, leading to his hospitalization. The Court's Failure (00:55:1
- 3 weeks ago56 min
EP 96: Stephanie's Second Act: A Story of Strength, Faith, and Starting Over After Abuse
In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Stephanie, a publicist, event curator, storyteller, and host of Second Act Sessions. With more than 25 years of experience in brand and celebrity public relations, Stephanie has worked with recognized names including Martha Stewart, John Legend, Giada De Laurentiis, and Kevin Hart, while leading major campaigns, events, and cultural moments across New York, Boston, and Los Angeles. Stephanie also shares her deeply personal journey of surviving 13.5 years in a narcissistically abusive marriage, where emotional abuse gradually eroded her identity and led to isolation, financial dependence, and suicidal thoughts. After her marriage ended, she began rebuilding her life through healing, self-reflection, faith, and storytelling. Today, through Second Act Sessions, her writing, and her work as a speaker, Stephanie helps women navigate midlife, faith, healing, and reinvention—reminding them that an ending can become the beginning of a more honest and intentional life. Key Topics & Timestamps Podcast Introduction Host Laura introduces the podcast's mission to share women's stories of healing from narcissistic abuse and breaking the silence. Guest Introduction: Stephanie Laura introduces her guest, Stephanie, a publicist, storyteller, and host of the "Second Act Sessions" podcast. Stephanie's Story Begins Stephanie shares her 13.5-year marriage to a narcissist, realizing the abuse only after the divorce through social media posts. The Nature of Emotional Abuse Stephanie describes emotional abuse as a slow chipping away of the self, explaining why she stayed in the relationship. Lacking Self-Esteem The hosts discuss how a lack of personal self-esteem and a need for external validation made them vulnerable. Losing Her Career and Identity Stephanie explains how her ex-husband isolated her by moving them away from her successful career, making her financially dependent. The Narcissist's Double Standard The hosts discuss the controlling behaviors, double standards, and constant monitoring that create a suffocating environment in the relationship. Chaos, Confusion, and Isolation Laura and Stephanie discuss how narcissists use chaos and confusion to make you feel crazy and isolate you from support. Reaching a Breaking Point Stephanie shares how the abuse led to suicidal thoughts and feeling completely broken at the end of her marriage. A Divine Intervention Stephanie describes praying to God for help, and two weeks later, her husband asked for a divorce, starting her healing. Faith and Divorce Stephanie discusses reconciling her Christian faith with divorce, realizing God doesn't want anyone to stay in an abusive marriage. Reconnecting with Faith Stephanie explains how she abandoned her faith during her marriage but reconnected with God, which became her saving grace. Starting to Share Her Story Stephanie talks about first opening up to friends, which validated her experience and led to launching her podcast. The Healing Journey is Not Linear The hosts discuss that healing takes time, has many layers, and requires giving yourself grace without a specific timeline. How to Support a Friend The hosts offer advice on how to support a friend in a narcissistic relationship by listening, validating, and praying. Writing a Memoir Stephanie shares her journey of writing a book about her life
- Aug 19, 202649 min
EP 95: Breaking the Anxiety Loop: Reclaim Your Joy and Rewrite Your Story with Ginger Kramer
In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Ginger Kramer, a therapist, author, educator, and speaker passionate about helping women understand the emotional patterns that keep them stuck and find the confidence to move forward. Ginger shares insights from her 20+ years in therapy and her book Break the Anxiety Loop, exploring practical tools for managing anxiety, rebuilding self-trust after abuse, and navigating the emotional challenges of midlife transitions. Ginger emphasizes the power of taking baby steps, celebrating small wins, and using positive affirmations backed by personal evidence to rebuild confidence. She also discusses shadow work and the importance of making small daily decisions that help women reconnect with their true selves, reclaim their identity, and create healthier, more fulfilling lives after toxic relationships. Key Topics & Timestamps Podcast Introduction Host Laura introduces the podcast's mission to help women heal by sharing stories and breaking the silence around their struggles. Content Warning A brief warning is given that the episode may contain subjects that could be triggering for some listeners. Guest Introduction: Ginger Kramer Host Laura introduces guest Ginger Kramer, a therapist and author specializing in emotional wellness, anxiety, and personal growth. Ginger's Background and Journey Ginger discusses her 23-year therapy career, how selling skincare built her confidence, and her personal experience with anxiety. Breaking the Anxiety Loop Ginger explains her hands-on therapy approach and the inspiration behind her book, which provides tools to manage the nervous system. The Power of Positive Self-Talk Ginger shares a simple tool: using three positive phrases as a form of self-cheerleading to build confidence and move forward. Finding Proof for Affirmations The importance of looking for real-life proof to validate affirmations is discussed, making them more effective than just repeating words. Keeping Healing Simple Ginger advises against overwhelming oneself with big journals, suggesting instead to use scrap paper to track small, daily wins. Taking "Baby Steps" Using the movie "What About Bob?" as an example, Ginger emphasizes the power of taking small, manageable steps during healing. Rebuilding Self-Trust in Midlife The conversation shifts to the challenges women in midlife face, like empty nest syndrome, and how to rediscover themselves. Finding Your Path Ginger explains that life has different chapters and encourages finding purpose and satisfaction in new passions, no matter how small. Revisiting Your Past Self Instead of wanting to be who you were, identify the feelings from your past you want to reclaim now. Connecting Your Life's Thread Ginger gives Laura homework to find the connecting thread between her past career and her current work with the podcast. A Therapist's Role Ginger describes her role as helping clients see different perspectives and understand they can be whoever they want to be now. Trying New Things and Failing The importance of trying new activities, building new neural pathways, and accepting failure as a necessary part of learning. Ginger's Workbooks and Action Guides Ginger provides an overview of her published resources, including a 30-day skills book, a coloring book, and journals. Understanding Shadow Work Shadow work i
- Aug 12, 20261h 0m
EP 94: From Self-Abandonment to Self-Leadership: A Raw and Real Conversation About Healing with Amy Watkins
In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Amy Watkins, a therapist turned truth teller, speaker, and author of Performing Normal: A Woman's Story from Self-Abandonment to Self-Leadership. Amy shares her powerful journey of growing up under religious conditioning and neglect, surviving sexual abuse, and enduring two abusive marriages shaped by trauma bonding and gaslighting. She reflects on how these experiences influenced her identity and kept her disconnected from her own needs and voice. Amy opens up about her spiritual awakening and the difficult process of choosing herself after years of self-abandonment. She shares how small acts of self-care became part of her healing and encourages others to recognize subtle patterns of abuse, break toxic cycles, and reclaim their lives. Through her story and work, Amy reminds listeners that healing is not about becoming someone new—it's about discovering yourself, finding your voice, and learning to lead your own life. Key Topics & Timestamps Podcast Introduction Host Laura introduces the podcast's mission: for women to share their stories and heal together from abuse and secrets. Guest Introduction: Amy Watkins Amy Watkins, a therapist and author, is introduced. Her book focuses on healing from childhood trauma and self-abandonment. Why Amy Started Speaking Out Amy shares that after being silenced for years, she started speaking out following a spiritual awakening and leaving her marriage. Recognizing a "Nice" Abuser Amy discusses her abusive marriage, where her husband was so "nice" and smothering that she couldn't recognize the abuse. The Pettiness That Sparked Healing Both Amy and Laura admit they initially started sharing their stories out of pettiness, which surprisingly resonated with many people. Dealing with Negative Feedback Amy talks about receiving negative comments and blame from others after she started sharing her story online and healing from it. Religious Conditioning and Red Flags Amy discusses her strict religious upbringing, which taught her to be a "good girl" and led to marrying quickly. The Illusion of a "Right Life" The speakers discuss how high-control religion teaches that doing the "right things" will earn heavenly rewards, justifying current suffering. The Slow Decline in a Relationship Amy explains how abusers "manage down expectations" over time, making victims grateful for small gestures, like a single text message. The Reverse Hoover and Trauma Bonds Amy describes the "reverse hoover," where her ex would vanish, activating her abandonment wounds and keeping her in a trauma bond. The "I'm Trying" Tactic Amy explains how abusers use generic phrases like "I'm trying" without any real effort or understanding of what needs to change. The Dangers of Non-Trauma-Informed Therapy Amy shares a negative experience with a therapist who wasn't trauma-informed, highlighting the importance of finding the right professional help. Weaponizing Vulnerability The host discusses how abusers weaponize shared vulnerabilities and past traumas, using them to deflect and maintain control in arguments. The Brain's Healing Process They discuss how, during healing, the brain starts recalling suppressed memories and lies, bringing clarity to past abusive situations. Pathological Hope Amy explains "pathological hope," where victims cling to the belief that their abuser will change, a pattern often learned in childhood. From Self-Abandonment to Self-Leadership
- Aug 5, 20261h 0m
EP 93: When Faith Becomes a Cage: Jubilee's Journey Out of Cult Control and Domestic Violence
In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Jubilee, a content creator and host of the podcasts Healed-ish and The Overshare Hour, where she openly discusses religious trauma, purity culture, deconstruction, and healing from abuse. Jubilee shares her powerful story of joining Bethel, a high-control religious organization, and marrying an abusive man after a public prophecy declared they were destined to be together. She recounts the manipulation, isolation, and physical abuse she endured before finally leaving the marriage and filing for divorce over what became known as the "Disney burger" incident. Today, Jubilee uses her voice and platform to help others navigate religious trauma, reclaim their identity, and find freedom through honest conversations about healing and deconstruction. Key Topics & Timestamps Podcast Introduction The host, Laura, introduces the podcast's mission to share women's stories of healing from trauma and abuse. Guest Introduction (00:01:34 Laura introduces her guest, Jubilee, a content creator who shares her story of leaving a cult and an abusive marriage. The Isolation of Deconstruction Jubilee discusses the loneliness and loss of community that comes with questioning and leaving high-control religious systems. Why Jubilee Started Sharing Her Story Jubilee explains how she began sharing her story online to raise awareness about the cult, Bethel, and her experiences. Joining the Cult, Bethel Jubilee recounts being drawn to Bethel after a powerful experience at a conference where she believed she was healed. The Bethel Experience Jubilee describes the pressure to conform to specific behaviors, like manifesting, to fit into the Bethel culture. Interning at a Smaller Ministry Jubilee moves to a smaller, more eccentric ministry in Pennsylvania for an internship, where she meets her future husband. Meeting Her Abusive Ex-Husband Jubilee describes how her ex-husband appeared kind and generous, love-bombing her and grooming her for a relationship. The Marriage Prophecy A well-known prophet publicly declares that God intends for Jubilee and her then-boyfriend to marry, solidifying her decision. Ignoring Red Flags Jubilee shares the bizarre and delusional beliefs her ex-husband held, which she overlooked due to the prophecy. The Harm of False Prophecies The host and Jubilee discuss how prophetic words can trap people in abusive situations by making them feel divinely sanctioned. The Disney Burger Incident Jubilee details the fight that started when she gave her cousin a bite of her burger at Disney World. The Final Assault The argument over the burger escalates, leading to her husband strangling her for the second time in their marriage. Calling the Domestic Violence Hotline After the assault, Jubilee calls a hotline, which helps her recognize the pattern of abuse in her marriage. Leaving and Filing for Divorce Jubilee strategically leaves her husband, returns home, and files for divorce, which is finalized quickly due to the pandemic. Jubilee's Current Projects Jubilee talks about her two podcasts, "Heal Dish" and "The Overshare Hour," and her plans to write a memoir. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Jubilee,<span style= "fo
- Jul 29, 202655 min
EP 92: Holy Disobedience: Sex, Sin, and Secrets, and Healing From Abuse with Melissa Duge Spiers
In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura speaks with Melissa Duge Spiers, an award-winning essayist, screenwriter, and advocate for survivors of religious and narcissistic abuse. Through her writing, memoir Holy Disobedience: Sex, Sin, and Secrets in the Biggest Church No One Knows, and her online platforms, The Glory Whole, Melissa shares her personal journey of healing while helping others recognize and recover from religious trauma. Her work has been featured in The Huffington Post, and she is also a contributor to Take the Fruit: An Anthology of Religious Trauma. Melissa opens up about growing up in the cult-like Seventh-day Adventist Church, where teachings centered on submission and self-abandonment left her vulnerable to abusive relationships. She reflects on how religious programming shaped her decade-long narcissistic marriage and a subsequent toxic relationship before discussing the healing she found through therapy, supportive online communities, and writing her memoir. Together, Laura and Melissa emphasize that leaving abuse is only the beginning, and that lasting healing comes through ongoing self-discovery, reclaiming your voice, and learning to trust yourself again. Key Topics & Timestamps Guest Introduction Laura introduces the guest, Melissa, an award-winning writer and advocate for survivors of religious and narcissistic abuse. The Biggest Church No One Knows Melissa discusses the Seventh-day Adventist Church, a fundamentalist Christian organization she describes as cult-like and surprisingly large. Leaving the Church vs. Healing Melissa explains that leaving the church at 18 was not the same as healing from its programming. Repeating Religious Patterns Melissa describes how the church's teachings on submission and obedience led her into abusive relationships in her secular life. Suppressing Emotions Melissa and Laura discuss how their high-control religious upbringings taught them to suppress "bad" feelings like anger. The "Fake" Persona Melissa recalls being called "fake" because she was out of touch with her feelings, a result of childhood self-abandonment. Learning About Boundaries The conversation covers the difficulty of learning and practicing boundaries after decades of people-pleasing and being called "difficult." Documenting Survivor Stories Melissa explains how she began documenting survivor stories of abuse within the church, which eventually aided a lawsuit. The Healing Power of Sharing Melissa and Laura discuss the validating and healing experience of holding space for other survivors and sharing their stories. Discovering Her Father's Abuse Melissa shares the story of learning her pastor father was an abuser and how she connected with one of his victims. A Dangerous Partnership Melissa recounts her decade-long, controlling marriage to a man with Cluster B personality disorders, which felt familiar after her upbringing. Discovering Narcissistic Abuse Melissa explains how she learned about narcissistic abuse online during Covid, finally putting a name to her partner's behavior. Coercive Control Tactics The discussion turns to specific manipulative tactics like feigning panic attacks and using sleep deprivation to maintain control. The Sleep Talking Manipulation Melissa describes how her ex-partner would say cruel things in his sleep and then deny responsibility when confronted. Deprogramming and Escaping Melissa details how thera
About That's Where I'm At
Welcome to "That's Where I'm At" with your host, Laura Richards! Join Laura Richards, a survivor of narcissistic abuse with 33 years experience, as she guides you through the journey of identifying, healing from, and thriving after emotional and psychological abuse. With a mission to raise awareness, foster emotional recovery, and empower you to love yourself, Laura brings honesty, compassion, and a touch of humor to every episode. Dive into deep, meaningful conversations, tackle tough topics, and uncover moments of hope and healing. Our supportive community is here for you, offering insights, support, and a shared path to recovery and empowerment. Subscribe now and be part of a transformative journey that's messy, real, and truly inspiring!
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