# 89 When does social adaptation become self-abandonment?

How truthful do you show yourself in your relationships? Can you feel at ease, relaxed and completely free? Do you stand by who you are? With all the rough edges? With views, ways of life, visions that are challenging for others, maybe even outrageous :-), but deeply coherent for you? Or do you still adapt to your environment in a way where you are not really sincere, but harmony and security are more important than truthfulness? We are social beings and our nervous systems vibrating with each other and if we are not safe and grounded in ourselves, we easily loosing ourselves in a social activation. Then our biology takes over with our deeper unconscious perception of the world and what is the underlying narrative about connection and we are no longer embodying who we are.  This often happens so subtly and on autopilot that we don't even recognize it. We think, this is part of our social identity, but it rarely nutures and fulfills us deeply. Sometimes the environment no longer fits the version we have become and sometimes we also lose ourselves to remain seemingly safe in which we do not really show ourselves. If your relationship with yourself is already intimate and close, then your body will show you very precisely when you leave yourself, it will no longer tolerate it, which used to be quite "normal". Being connected to yourself in stillness is the first step and then being able to stay grounded in yourself in a relationship opens a next growth field.