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by Antje Gerstmann
A return to yourself…This podcast is a living space. I speak from what is present, from lived experience and from embodiment.Nothing here is scripted, edited or polished. The words arise as they are spoken, raw, honest and real.Each episode is recorded once in German and once in English and of course never truly the same.This podcast is not meant to be consumed. It is an invitation to listen slowly, to feel beneath the
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In last week´s episode we explored social fawning and how adaptation can slowly become self-abandonment. This week we are going one layer deeper. What if some of our so called kindness, empathy and understanding aren't coming from freedom, but from a nervous system trying to be safe. This is often so deeply rooted and part of our identity, but the hidden energy is anxiety, not love, wich will create more of this in ourselves and in the person in front of us. You will be surprised how much energy, freedom and aliveness returns when we no longer organize our lives around protection. This will influence all areas in your life. If you shift within one field, you will shift everywhere.
How truthful do you show yourself in your relationships? Can you feel at ease, relaxed and completely free? Do you stand by who you are? With all the rough edges? With views, ways of life, visions that are challenging for others, maybe even outrageous :-), but deeply coherent for you? Or do you still adapt to your environment in a way where you are not really sincere, but harmony and security are more important than truthfulness? We are social beings and our nervous systems vibrating with each other and if we are not safe and grounded in ourselves, we easily loosing ourselves in a social activation. Then our biology takes over with our deeper unconscious perception of the world and what is the underlying narrative about connection and we are no longer embodying who we are. This often happens so subtly and on autopilot that we don't even recognize it. We think, this is part of our social identity, but it rarely nutures and fulfills us deeply. Sometimes the environment no longer fits the version we have become and sometimes we also lose ourselves to remain seemingly safe in which we do not really show ourselves. If your relationship with yourself is already intimate and close, then your body will show you very precisely when you leave yourself, it will no longer tolerate it, which used to be quite "normal". Being connected to yourself in stillness is the first step and then being able to stay grounded in yourself in a relationship opens a next growth field.
Which inner question do you follow at the moment? We live permanently, and mostly unconsciously, in inner questions and if these are unconscious, then they do not come from our higher being, but from our conditioning. How do I stay safe? How do I prevent pain? How do I connect? How do I prevent shortage? How do I prevent loss? These are just a few examples and you can immediately see what energy they come from, wich is pure lack. Our questions are already the orientation to a certain field and this is already a creative process. Questions are not neutral, they are frequency, focus, perceptual filters and if they are unconscious they drive us in a way, where we recreate over and over the same lack in our life. The new orientation therefore requires awareness and your dedication and willingness to follow the impulses of life to this new and chosen question and thus to set a new orientation point on which you focus. Then a new reality unfolds step by step, one that you have consciously chosen is more aligned with what you would like to experience.
Today I talk about my experiences with concepts, opinions, ideologies and how this is blocking us from receiving. As soon as we think that something has to be in a specific way, or we already decided this is "good" or "bad", or "healthy" and "unhealthy" we cut ourselves off from the direct embodied perception and thus from the flow of life. In concepts we are trapped in the mind, our database from the past, and not in the present moment. How reliable can this be when it comes to a completely new and innocent moment, where we want to create something new? Our higher being cannot guide us when we have an opinion and have already decided certain things without proofing, if our body is aligned with this or not. Ask yourself "Is this really my highest truth here, now and today"? Does my body opens up, expands and there for resonates or does this thought, this concept etc. actually weakens my system and is not true for me? This requires courage to fully trust your perception, embodiment, space, consciousness and slowing down. Give yourself time and space to tune in and feel beyond any concept, like an Alien that just arrived here :-) and has never experienced this moment before. Then you will feel what the next step is for you, guided from something thats infinite intelligent and just knows....
We do not exist dimensionally, but frequencyally. Different levels of reality exist now, right at this moment, and your vibration decides what you have access to and what you can receive. If we raise our frequency by consciously feeling and accepting what is currently there, without wanting to change it at that moment and at the same time focussing on our truth, our higher self, then we automatically enter at that moment a higher level with completely different possibilities, information and gifts. This is possible at any moment in which we realign ourselves with the part that exists beyond survival and struggle. We cannot perceive from a primal state something that exists at a higher level. It is not possible to receive anything that does not correspond to the frequency in which we find ourselves at that moment. This is not magic, this is physics!
This episode isn´t about what you do, it is about the inner field your life is unfolding from. We explore why our nervous system is the foundation for everything you perceive, receive and create. This is why the state your system is living in is the most important thing. So often we move through our days trying to get somewhere, to reach, to become, to finally arrive, without realizing that creation is already happening. With every thought, every feeling, every breath. YOU are the field of creation, nothing is more important than your inner state.
In this episode I speak about one of the deepest pattern in many women. The unconscious belief that "if I just love enough, he/she will meet me there", or I can love another person into their healing. This happens when we fall in love with the potential of another human being and are not able to see reality fully. We are literally "blind" for what is actually truly embodied and the capacity of this person right now. The gift of seeing the potential, the essence of another human is absolutely beautiful and comes from a huge capacity of love and a pure and innocent heart. If we are not willing or able to also see what is real and how this person interacts in daily life, we are trapped in a fantasy. We don´t really see the person in front of us anymore, we are in a relationship with something that could be possible but isn't real yet. And this is hard to accept and to let go of, but every human being has its own free will and its own timeline to start the journey of their own transformation and even if we can see how it could be, we need to surrender into the fact, that it isn't here yet choose what serves us most, wich is sometimes leaving, even if we love them truly.
Many people describe themselves as very emphatic, especially in the spiritual community, but often what we call empathy is a learned survival pattern. This episode is about the subtle distinction between real connection and emotional entanglement. True closeness does not arise through fusion but through clarity and compassion and complete acceptance of what is currently there. We always see only a fragment of so called reality, in ourselves and also our counterpart and the greatest gift is not to fall into the other and to sink into his reality, but to keep the space of clarity and love, so that your counterpart remembers again, the only truth that exists, we are held and loved and always gifted, even if it is not palpable at the moment.
A return to yourself…This podcast is a living space. I speak from what is present, from lived experience and from embodiment.Nothing here is scripted, edited or polished. The words arise as they are spoken, raw, honest and real.Each episode is recorded once in German and once in English and of course never truly the same.This podcast is not meant to be consumed. It is an invitation to listen slowly, to feel beneath the
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