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So We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur Kohli: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Sahaj Kaur Kohli
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- Jul 3, 202541 min
Let’s Talk About Sex
As a couples therapist, Sahaj Kaur Kohli talks about sex all the time with clients. But the truth is, she still struggles to talk about it in her own life. Sahaj and many other children of immigrants grew up with silence, shame, and secrecy around sex and desire. In this episode, Sahaj explores the cultural narratives that shape pleasure and sexuality with kink-affirming, anti-oppressive therapist Kimmy Wu. Listeners also share personal stories of shame and self-discovery in their sex lives. Together, Sahaj and Kimmy offer insights and tips for feeling more liberated in your body, decolonizing your relationship with pleasure, and reclaiming sexual agency on your own terms. Find exclusive bonus content and continue the conversation with others on Sahaj Kaur Kohli’s Substack, Culturally Enough. Sahaj Kaur Kohli is the host and creator of this series. Chrystal Genesis is our Executive Producer and Creative Director. Tess Novotny is our lead producer. Music and Audio Engineering by 4S Studios. For more information, show notes, and resources, visit sahajkaurkohli.com/podcast. Follow Brown Girl Therapy on Instagram at @browngirltherapy. So We’ve Been Told is a bold take on wellness, love, and family by sharing what it means to live between cultures. In a new eight-part series, award-winning therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli breaks down the stories we’ve been told about bicultural identity, relationships and mental health. Featuring real talk, practical advice, expert wisdom and stories from her 250,000-strong community, Brown Girl Therapy, Sahaj helps you understand your past and unpack the present so you can thrive on your own terms. The eight episodes will explore: living a double life between cultures, family secrets, intercultural relationships, narcissism in immigrant families, duty as a form of love – and control, estrangement, boundary setting with immigrant parents, immigrant guilt, and sex. This show is for anyone who lives between cultures – or anyone who loves, works with, or knows someone who does (hint: you!).
- Jun 18, 202531 min
Boundaries, Low Contact, or Estrangement: What’s Right for You?
We’ve all heard we need boundaries to protect our peace, but what does that really look like in collectivist cultures? In this episode, therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli challenges Western ideas of boundaries, unpacks common misconceptions, and explores what it means to go low or no contact with loved ones. We’ll hear real-life stories from people navigating boundary-setting in immigrant families – some successful, some not – and others who’ve ultimately chosen to go no contact. Sahaj also shares practical tips for setting culturally-responsive boundaries, and answers your most pressing questions about estrangement. Find exclusive bonus content and continue the conversation with others on Sahaj Kaur Kohli’s Substack, Culturally Enough. Sahaj Kaur Kohli is the host and creator of this series. Chrystal Genesis is our Executive Producer and Creative Director. Tess Novotny is our lead producer. Music and Audio Engineering by 4S Studios. For more information, show notes, and resources, visit sahajkaurkohli.com/podcast. Follow Brown Girl Therapy on Instagram at @browngirltherapy. So We’ve Been Told is a bold take on wellness, love, and family by sharing what it means to live between cultures. In a new eight-part series, award-winning therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli breaks down the stories we’ve been told about bicultural identity, relationships and mental health. Featuring real talk, practical advice, expert wisdom and stories from her 250,000-strong community, Brown Girl Therapy, Sahaj helps you understand your past and unpack the present so you can thrive on your own terms. The eight episodes will explore: living a double life between cultures, family secrets, intercultural relationships, narcissism in immigrant families, duty as a form of love – and control, estrangement, boundary setting with immigrant parents, immigrant guilt, and sex. This show is for anyone who lives between cultures – or anyone who loves, works with, or knows someone who does (hint: you!).
- Jun 4, 202536 min
Why Guilt Feels So Heavy — And What to Do About It
Do you feel guilty all the time? Or worry about abandoning where, and who, you come from? You’re not alone! Guilt is one of the main emotions therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli sees adult children of immigrants struggle with. In this episode, Sahaj unpacks the idea of immigrant guilt — how it differs from everyday guilt — and offers practical tools to help you navigate its complexities. She also explains what it really means to “sit with your feelings” (yes, actually), and we hear powerful stories from listeners on emotional suppression, anger, and the conflicting cultural messages they’ve received about how to feel. Plus, Sahaj talks to Dr. Batja Mesquita, a Dutch social psychologist and author of “Between Us: How Cultures Create Emotions”, to explore how culture and language shape the way we understand and express feelings – and they’ll leave you with tips for starting these conversations in your own immigrant family. Find exclusive bonus content and continue the conversation with others on Sahaj Kaur Kohli’s Substack, Culturally Enough. Sahaj Kaur Kohli is the host and creator of this series. Chrystal Genesis is our Executive Producer and Creative Director. Tess Novotny is our lead producer. Music and Audio Engineering by 4S Studios. For more information, show notes, and resources, visit sahajkaurkohli.com/podcast. Follow Brown Girl Therapy on Instagram at @browngirltherapy. So We’ve Been Told is a bold take on wellness, love, and family by sharing what it means to live between cultures. In a new eight-part series, award-winning therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli breaks down the stories we’ve been told about bicultural identity, relationships and mental health. Featuring real talk, practical advice, expert wisdom and stories from her 250,000-strong community, Brown Girl Therapy, Sahaj helps you understand your past and unpack the present so you can thrive on your own terms. The eight episodes will explore: living a double life between cultures, family secrets, intercultural relationships, narcissism in immigrant families, duty as a form of love – and control, estrangement, boundary setting with immigrant parents, immigrant guilt, and sex. This show is for anyone who lives between cultures – or anyone who loves, works with, or knows someone who does (hint: you!).
- May 21, 202527 min
Is Duty a Form of Love, or Control?
What does duty mean to you? For many of us, especially children of immigrants, duty is complicated. It can look like showing up for loved ones (even when it’s inconvenient), preserving cultural traditions, or fulfilling unspoken expectations. Sometimes duty feels like love, gratitude, and pride. Other times, it carries the weight of pressure, guilt, and grief. In this episode, therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli helps us reflect on what we truly owe our families and communities — and how to navigate duty when it conflicts with our own needs and desires. You’ll hear from listeners whose sense of duty is shaped by cultural values, birth order, and their parents’ sacrifices. And we’ll leave you with tips to examine when duty is a form of love, and when it’s a tool for control. Find exclusive bonus content and continue the conversation with others on Sahaj Kaur Kohli’s Substack, Culturally Enough. Sahaj Kaur Kohli is the host and creator of this series. Chrystal Genesis is our Executive Producer and Creative Director. Tess Novotny is our lead producer. Music and Audio Engineering by 4S Studios. For more information, show notes, and resources, visit sahajkaurkohli.com/podcast. Follow Brown Girl Therapy on Instagram at @browngirltherapy. So We’ve Been Told is a bold take on wellness, love, and family by sharing what it means to live between cultures. In a new eight-part series, award-winning therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli breaks down the stories we’ve been told about bicultural identity, relationships and mental health. Featuring real talk, practical advice, expert wisdom and stories from her 250,000-strong community, Brown Girl Therapy, Sahaj helps you understand your past and unpack the present so you can thrive on your own terms. The eight episodes will explore: living a double life between cultures, family secrets, intercultural relationships, narcissism in immigrant families, duty as a form of love – and control, estrangement, boundary setting with immigrant parents, immigrant guilt, and sex. This show is for anyone who lives between cultures – or anyone who loves, works with, or knows someone who does (hint: you!).
- May 7, 202535 min
Is Your Immigrant Parent a Narcissist?
In a recent Brown Girl Therapy poll, 85% of nearly 3,300 respondents said they think their parents are narcissistic. That’s…a lot! In this episode, we dig into why so many children of immigrants resonate with this label, and whether it's the right one. Dr. Judith Joseph, a board-certified psychiatrist and author of High Functioning: Overcome Your Hidden Depression and Reclaim Your Joy, joins Sahaj Kaur Kohli to break down what narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) really is, and what it isn’t. We’ll even hear directly from you about your complicated family dynamics and the impact on your mental health. You’ll learn new skills and tips for communicating to narcissists and healing while navigating painful but meaningful relationships. Find exclusive bonus content and continue the conversation with others on Sahaj Kaur Kohli’s Substack, Culturally Enough. Sahaj Kaur Kohli is the host and creator of this series. Chrystal Genesis is our Executive Producer and Creative Director. Tess Novotny is our lead producer, and Jamela Zarha Williams is our producer. Music and Audio Engineering by 4S Studios. For more information, show notes, and resources, visit sahajkaurkohli.com/podcast. Follow Brown Girl Therapy on Instagram at @browngirltherapy. So We’ve Been Told is a bold take on wellness, love, and family by sharing what it means to live between cultures. In a new eight-part series, award-winning therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli breaks down the stories we’ve been told about bicultural identity, relationships and mental health. Featuring real talk, practical advice, expert wisdom and stories from her 250,000-strong community, Brown Girl Therapy, Sahaj helps you understand your past and unpack the present so you can thrive on your own terms. The eight episodes will explore: living a double life between cultures, family secrets, intercultural relationships, narcissism in immigrant families, duty as a form of love – and control, estrangement, boundary setting with immigrant parents, immigrant guilt, and sex. This show is for anyone who lives between cultures – or anyone who loves, works with, or knows someone who does (hint: you!).
- Apr 23, 202538 min
Intercultural Relationships: Love or Betrayal?
Intercultural and interracial relationships can be rewarding, difficult, messy — or all of the above. In this episode, Sahaj Kaur Kohli opens up about her love story as the first in her family to marry outside race, religion, and culture. We also hear deeply personal reflections from other children of immigrants who are navigating love, heartbreak, and identity across cultural and racial lines. Together, we confront hard truths — anti-Blackness, colorism, internalized racism, and community bias — while also celebrating the beauty of bridging and blending cultures. Sahaj will answer your questions on navigating the challenging (and awkward!) parts of dating, like introducing your partner to your family, and she offers advice on the ultimate dilemma: love or loyalty? Find exclusive bonus content and continue the conversation with others on Sahaj Kaur Kohli’s Substack, Culturally Enough. Sahaj Kaur Kohli is the host and creator of this series. Chrystal Genesis is our Executive Producer and Creative Director. Tess Novotny is our lead producer. Music and Audio Engineering by 4S Studios. For more information, show notes, and resources, visit sahajkaurkohli.com/podcast. Follow Brown Girl Therapy on Instagram at @browngirltherapy. So We’ve Been Told is a bold take on wellness, love, and family by sharing what it means to live between cultures. In a new eight-part series, award-winning therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli breaks down the stories we’ve been told about bicultural identity, relationships and mental health. Featuring real talk, practical advice, expert wisdom and stories from her 250,000-strong community, Brown Girl Therapy, Sahaj helps you understand your past and unpack the present so you can thrive on your own terms. The eight episodes will explore: living a double life between cultures, family secrets, intercultural relationships, narcissism in immigrant families, duty as a form of love – and control, estrangement, boundary setting with immigrant parents, immigrant guilt, and sex. This show is for anyone who lives between cultures – or anyone who loves, works with, or knows someone who does (hint: you!).
- Apr 16, 20255 min
Bonus: Stop Telling Children of Immigrants to be Authentic
In this bonus episode, Sahaj Kaur Kohli breaks down “authenticity” and how harmful — albeit well-meaning — this term can be for children of immigrants and bicultural folks. Instead, she advises on a new way to think about authenticity and “being real” for those straddling and living between cultures. We also hear from one of you on how cultural code switching can feel divisive between the workplace and home due to gender norms. This is an example of bonus content that will live exclusively in the Substack community Culturally Enough throughout this season. ----more---- Sahaj Kaur Kohli is the host and creator of this series. Chrystal Genesis is our Executive Producer and Creative Director. Tess Novotny is our lead producer, and Jamela Zarha Williams is our producer. Music and Audio Engineering by 4S Studios. For more information, show notes, and resources, visit sahajkaurkohli.com/podcast. Follow Brown Girl Therapy on Instagram at @browngirltherapy. So We’ve Been Told is a bold take on wellness, love, and family by sharing what it means to live between cultures. In a new eight-part series, award-winning therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli breaks down the stories we’ve been told about bicultural identity, relationships and mental health. Featuring real talk, practical advice, expert wisdom and stories from her 250,000-strong community, Brown Girl Therapy, Sahaj helps you understand your past and unpack the present so you can thrive on your own terms. The eight episodes will explore: living a double life between cultures, family secrets, intercultural relationships, narcissism in immigrant families, duty as a form of love – and control, estrangement, boundary setting with immigrant parents, immigrant guilt, and sex. This show is for anyone who lives between cultures – or anyone who loves, works with, or knows someone who does (hint: you!).
- Apr 9, 202535 min
Our Family Secrets: What We Hide and Why It Matters
Family secrets can feel like a form of protection, or a source of deep isolation. We uncover the hidden truths and taboos around relationships, health and trauma that shape our immigrant families. We’ll even hear directly from you about discovering family members aren’t biologically related to you, or having to keep child abuse secretive. Therapist and author of Break the Cycle, Dr. Mariel Buqué joins Sahaj Kaur Kohli to unpack the emotional toll of family secrecy, explore if family secrets are a form of intergenerational trauma, and share how we can begin to heal. Find exclusive bonus content and continue the conversation with others on Sahaj Kaur Kohli’s Substack, Culturally Enough. Sahaj Kaur Kohli is the host and creator of this series. Chrystal Genesis is our Executive Producer and Creative Director. Tess Novotny is our lead producer, and Jamela Zarha Williams is our producer. Music and Audio Engineering by 4S Studios. For more information, show notes, and resources, visit sahajkaurkohli.com/podcast. Follow Brown Girl Therapy on Instagram at @browngirltherapy. So We’ve Been Told is a bold take on wellness, love, and family by sharing what it means to live between cultures. In a new eight-part series, award-winning therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli breaks down the stories we’ve been told about bicultural identity, relationships and mental health. Featuring real talk, practical advice, expert wisdom and stories from her 250,000-strong community, Brown Girl Therapy, Sahaj helps you understand your past and unpack the present so you can thrive on your own terms. The eight episodes will explore: living a double life between cultures, family secrets, intercultural relationships, narcissism in immigrant families, duty as a form of love – and control, estrangement, boundary setting with immigrant parents, immigrant guilt, and sex. This show is for anyone who lives between cultures – or anyone who loves, works with, or knows someone who does (hint: you!).
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About So We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur Kohli
So We’ve Been Told is a bold take on wellness, love, and family by sharing what it means to live between cultures. In a new eight-part series, award-winning therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli breaks down the stories we’ve been told about bicultural identity, relationships, and mental health. Featuring real talk, practical advice, expert wisdom and stories from her 250,000-strong community, Brown Girl Therapy, Sahaj helps you understand your past and unpack the present so you can thrive on your own terms. The eight episodes will explore: living a double life between cultures, family secrets, intercultural relationships, narcissism in immigrant families, duty as a form of love — and control, estrangement, boundary setting with immigrant parents, immigrant guilt, and sex.This show is for anyone who lives between cultures – or anyone who loves, works with, or knows someone who does (hint: you!).
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