Episode 495: Why Even Happy Couples Fight (And How To Do It Right)

A lot of people believe that if you’re in the “right” relationship, you shouldn’t fight. They think that conflict means something is wrong or that you’re incompatible. However conflict isn’t a failure—it’s inevitable. In today’s episode, we’re rethinking what conflict really means and how to navigate it in healthier, more constructive ways. I am joined once again by Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, an award-winning social psychologist, TED Speaker, and relationship expert. Her latest book, Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love, introduces the Emergent Love Model, a framework born from research with hundreds of couples across 41 countries. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Is it true that happy couples don’t fight? How can conflict avoidance be an even bigger problem than frequent conflict? Why is it important to think about conflict as a disagreement rather than a fight? How can couples navigate mismatches in their conflict style? What does “healthy conflict” look like in practice? Learn more about Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh at www.Sara-Nasserzadeh.com and join her online community here and follow her on Instagram here.  Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.